Who Am I? Who are you? Happy Valentine!!!!!!!!!!

I have been printing out a stress test, activities to improve your spirits and creating a special place, for a Health Fair I will have a booth at. I have also ordered pens to give out with my pretty picture and number; web site. I don't normally attend health fairs, preferring the Book world, such as Word on the Street, but the opportunity arose, so well, it can't hurt. Most of my clients find me on Psychology Today, through my associations or my web site - www.redigondapsychotherapy.com. My books, well as I have informed you, I need to put more work in that. Today I received something from Amazon in Spanish, so I do have to get my house in order regarding where I am selling my books. Today is Valentine's Day and I love this day. It is a day of flowers, normally chocolate and of course love. What I found today as I was searching what else I could print out was a reflection of "Who Am I?" This was a question that was becoming the norm to me, so I had given it a lot of thought. There was one person, the head of her department, who later ran for a cushy post, was fired which I did not find sad at all because she had fired so many departments, people herself. There is a saying of be nice to those you meet on your way up, because you may meet them on your way down. Anyhow, she asked us that question and when I told her who I was, she argued or rather informed me that the answer was not accurate. I did find her annoying. So, this is what I am going to say to you. Think about who you are, and don't let other people dictate to you, who you are. What I have found throughout my time as a therapist is that people really suffer, because people are always telling them who they are. I help those who suffer to discover themselves and cut out the noise which can penetrate and hurt. Take the time today, to love yourself. I want to wish you a Happy Valentine. I posted what I wrote some time ago, when I was starting out in this career. I was in three programs. I was doing my Masters, working on becoming a Marriage and Family Therapist with AAMFT, and Pastoral Counselling. I was really, really busy. I am sharing this with you. All the people, who I mention below are now dead, so it was nice reading this and remembering how significant these people were in my life. It may inspire you, or it may not. There have been many more since, some too have died. Covid was a killer and cancer as well. Enjoy and next week I want to post something from one of the lectures. Have a wonderful weekend. Who I am today is a reflection of all the people who have touched me in some way. Who I am today is a taste of the different cultures I have experienced. Who I am today is a testament of my country, service to country and service to God. I am still growing into who I am finally to become. I am on a continuous journey. My mother, my friend and priest, the mothers of two childhood friends of mine, and an old policeman, were all significant in that journey of who I am. My mother was the most important figure in my life. She taught me that prejudice existed and was wrong. She taught me that the world was mine to explore and I could achieve whatever I wanted in it. She taught me the beauty of nature as we explored it. She taught me the joy of having and respecting pets. She taught me that people should not be judged by what they owned but by what was in their hearts. Mrs Rielley and Mrs Varty both deceased were very influential in my life. Mrs Rielley was an ex nun, ex high school teacher and highly educated for her time. She had a brilliant mind. I remember helping her to sort through her personal papers and helping her determine what was important to keep. As important as cleanliness was for my mother, Mrs Rielley didn't care how neat her house was. She was a pack rack. She held on to everything. I remember reading some of her stories and poetry and wondering why she never published her work. She was sharp, witty, funny and had an explosive personality. You never wanted to cross Mrs Rielley. She was Irish, through and through. She complimented me, scolded me, loved me, appreciated my visits and became another mother to me. Mrs Varty was a simple woman. She loved her husband and daughter who was my friend. And she loved me. She was my second mom. My mother was a perfectionist. She had no tolerance for error or failure. My mother wished me to remain forever her small girl, whom she could mold. Whenever I resisted I lost favour. Mrs Varty on the other hand always accepted me. It didn't matter how I was dressed or how I did in school. Mrs Varty simply loved and I was so fortunate to have been privy to that love. She was proud of me. Fr MacFarlene I met later in life. I was in my twenties and working in Europe. He was our chaplain. I met him through work. I was a Military Policewoman and searching for a man who had been stealing cars and driving them into the Rhine River. I expected to find him dead. I was waiting for the Padre so we could go and interview the suspect's pregnant wife. It was a formality. I was to find the suspect and lock him up, he was to console. I remember when I saw him. He entered the Police station, his adrenaline flowing. I was a distance away and gave a short chuckle. Father MacFarlene was human. He wanted to provide solace but he was naturally excited as well. After all the character I was searching for had caused quite a stir in the area. Father MacFarlene and I slowly, through the years grew close, as two people who grow older together do. Since we were both in the Military, our paths met often. The military creates a bond among soldiers that I never experienced since retiring. It was he who asked me to ask God to believe in him when I claimed I could not believe that there is a God. I did and I eventually began to believe again. Donny, the old policeman had more years in the Toronto Police force than I had in years of life. He was one of the warmest and most caring people I had ever met. He had compassion for everyone he met. It was he who made me realize that if over 32 years on the police force didn't make him cold, than who was I to think that I had become resistant to feelings. All these people kept me grounded. I have been so fortunate to have been cared for and loved by these people. My mother now is in a home. Father MacFarlene now is in the early stages of a mental degenerating disease, common in his family. He thinks that we have not spoken for ages when we speak more often. He forgets that I am to visit. He forgets…… These people have directed me, encouraged me, praised me, healed me. These people have balanced each other so that I can become balanced. These people have given me their best so that I can have the courage to be the best that I can be. These people have instilled values in me and with their long years of commitment, I too have learned commitment. I almost forgot and why because she too was important to me in my later years, Prof Yawney. It was she who taught me humility. A woman who wrote books she considered too boring for me to read, awards she went to the States to receive, yet dismissed their importance. Prof Yawney was an expert in court for cases of Racism, her eulogy indicated. She was my teacher in University as Mother Mary Joseph was in my junior years. Yes, as I write more people come to mind who inspired me, who made a difference in my life, who lead and formed me. They were there for me directing me on my journey onwards.