Homosexuality/suicide and Therapists

I was at a conference and a therapist who was a speaker told us that in 1987 she was disturbed that a youth had committed suicide because he was homosexual. She felt so bad about someone killing themselves over sexual identity that she decided to do something about it. 10,000 flyers went out to therapists but only 21 people came. The low turn out was because they didn’t want people to think that they were homosexual. I had actually thrown out this information after reading it because I didn’t have the speakers name and I couldn’t remember exactly which conference this had been because it was a leaf that had fallen from my other notes but I do believe it was at an OAMFT conference. I do however remember the speaker well, because I thought she looked rather youthful after being a therapist for so long. I had actually torn the notes into the waste basket and after a bit, decided to take it out, place the notes together, because this is too important even though I didn’t have as much info as I wanted. Her speech had been brief and I do wish that there are handouts at these seminars. People are always trying to save paper. I never did get the notes that were promised by the ethicist regarding “Physician Assisted Dying.” I realize that everyone is busy but if you can’t put out, then don’t say you will. He told me he would send the slides to the co-ordinator and she told us that she would send them out. Never happened. But now back to this. I placed the puzzle back together again because when people kill themselves for any reason I think we are all responsible to pay attention. I make no qualms that I am there to help anyone who comes to me. What surprised me initially is that people who are prejudiced or biased have an expectation that I should be as well. I grew up in a very homophobic community and I just accepted that. However, after much and I mean much education and working with people who are gay, I slowly turned my own views around and realized that I was a bigot. This is how prejudice is learned. We are exposed to it from an early age, from our families and communities and we grow up thinking that this is the way it is, and everyone else is wrong who thinks differently. Not everyone has the benefit of my education and exposures. If I get a call from a parent who is upset that their child is a homosexual, I cannot do what they want which is to magically transform their child to be a heterosexual. What I can do is counsel them so that they can have a different perspective based on facts and not ignorance. I have heard so many heart breaking stories of how children were abandoned by parents who could not accept their orientation. I have also seen organizations however claim youths as their own when the youths are confused about their orientation. Instead of trying to change the child, one can just listen and try to understand the child and what the child is dealing with rather than ridiculing or abandoning him or her. I take a person’s right to their own identity for granted. I live in a city and I have the advantage of diversity surrounding me. I grow and foster. I do understand that in some communities that are close knit or in isolation there can be some time warp. But, if you are a teen or adult struggling in one of those communities, do not think you have to kill yourself because there is something wrong with you or because you feel that you do not belong. Find someone to talk to, who can help you. There is a change in the education system and I must admit that I am glad. As a society we need to educate and protect each other from any bias. One person killing himself for any reason, is one person too many. Parents, remember that your children are a gift. They are not your personal property. They have their own personalities and their own identities. What you can do is provide love to your child, stability for your child and have your children feel safe. Let them be children and try to teach them goodness rather that hostility. Love them. What do you think?