Donation requests galore - Don’t feel pressured to give. Learn to say no and discern.

Recently when receiving requests for a donation blitz from a church, a woman turned to me exasperated. “I already gave “ “ this year. Does this mean I have to give more in addition?” “No, you gave a lot I responded”. This did not pacify her as she was struggling with emotions of indecision. “There is the Sick Kids and the refugees, I want to help.” My response, “It is at times forgotten that Jesus was born in a stable.” I understand how difficult it is to say no. After years of studying and costly internships, I still felt sorry for people who could not afford therapy. There is no course for how to say no. There was a seminar I attended where a physician from another country, now a life coach type here in Canada penetrated what my own counsellor had been trying to get into my thick head in my years of study. “You need to charge what you should be charging”. My response, “I need my hours.” I was often approached by people who were quite well off wanting to see me because I needed hours. After my mandatory 1500 hrs and fully qualified to do what I do, I had to learn to say no. It is easy for me to say no to anything, except helping people because that is what I have been doing for a life time. However, I was always paid by an institution. My mother who taught me so much in life, once said, “You make money from the suffering of others.” My automatic response was, “So do physicians.” Her reply, “That is true.” So, though it was a long process I finally learned to say no. There are lots of services out there that are free to people who cannot afford it or do not have insurance. I am using myself as an example here. We live in a country where we are encouraged to help each other and that is a good thing. We also give donations when we ourselves may be in dire need. I have heard so many times of a student struggling with tuition still stopping to help someone on the streets. I do not give money to anyone on the streets but I will buy them a meal or give them food. I do not donate 2.00 at the grocery store when requested because I want my own donation receipts. Do corporations claim our money as theirs? I don’t know. Neither can the cashier tell me. I do at times buy bag of foods for the food bank at the same grocery stores. I do not give money when someone knocks on my door, however I do ask for brochures to examine and was just recently informed that they had none to save costs. I was suspicious and perhaps you should be too if people cannot prove who they claim to be. I think it is wonderful when people give of themselves and as Canadians I think we do our best. So please, if you want to give to a hospital or the refugees, or a church or a university do so. However, if you don’t for any reason why not take some time to discern why you feel anxious or distressed rather than good about giving? Jesus being born in a stable tells us a lot. Yet how many hear? I have learned to direct people to those who can at no fee or on a sliding scale of their affordability. Here in Toronto if you have no insurance and you are low income there are many resources for you. The Catholic Church is having a Family Planning blitz. Muslims are expected to donate 10% of their income to charity etc……….What have you done for someone else? I am often told by a friend of mine who is a practising Jew, “Charity begins at home.” She is so right and she donates to many good causes. Remember that even if you are poor there is something you can do. You can donate your own time, or you can be kind to someone and kindness goes a long way. So please do not feel bad this Christmas if you cannot keep giving. Remember that Jesus and his family were very poor and 2000 years later people still believe, so practise what he taught, was the most important, not money but the giving of self to others. This can be done in so many ways. What do you think?