Strategies on High Confict Couples - Open to the public

What is Hope?

What is Hope? By: Silva Redigonda My hope is to someday live in a glass house by the waterfront with a dog at my side as I walk along the beach. Is that hope or a dream? Is dream and hope synonymous? Is hope for all? Skinner conducted animal experiments and discovered that when one can no longer control one’s environment, one gives up trying. A dog that suffers electrical shocks and resigns himself to acknowledge he will suffer pain no matter what he does extends to other forms of torture that kills the human soul. Can one understand hope by understanding what it is not? Hope is a perception of what can be. I think that there is a possibility of world peace. Do I really? Actually I do not. Therefore I have no hope for world peace because I believe that it is impossible. Yet, I believe that something must still be done to decrease the probabilities of war. Is that hope? Is hope being a realist? Is hope being a survivor? Hope can be simple or complex. Hope is what it means to the person who has or does not have hope. I hope that the flowers I place at the front yard bring joy to others as they walk by and appreciate nature. I hope, because I love to stop and appreciate the lawns of others which are aesthetically pleasing. I am hoping that someone appreciates what I have to offer my community. I am hoping that someone stops and smells the roses (what a cliché!). Am I superficial? Perhaps I am, for some and not to others. For someone who has no food, she may hope for food, if there is the remote possibility of getting food. If someone has no hope for food it may be because he is dying, isolated and alone with no possibility of enough food to eat. What is hope? It is so much to so many different people depending on their own stories of their own lives. Has life been kind? Has life crippled? Has life taken away souls and hope is only a senseless word? I have hope. I dream of my glass house by the water, walking along the beach with my dog at my side as I ponder the universe because I have hope – of endless possibilities. i Gleitman Henry, Basic Psychology. Pg 93. New York: Norton & Company, Third edition, 1983. As a therapist I have seen people come with the hope that I can help them. At times people want me to tell them what to do because it is too much for them and overwhelming. They just want to feel better. However, I cannot tell others what they should or should not do. What I can do is have them step back and examine what it is they actually want for themselves and help them to help themselves get there. People often complain that those around them are constantly telling them who to be, how to act, how to dress, who to love etc.....Sometimes, they just need the tools to help them stand up and re-examine who they are and who the people are in their lives that they need to stand up to and live the lives they want to. Sometimes, people are at the end of their rope and suicide looks like an option, though they don't want to really take that route. It is just the hopelessness of their situation. Suicide is not an option. Recently a man was arrested just outside Toronto where he was living. Apparently he was "counselling people to die" and providing them with substances which he was being paid for. What kind of person does that? I shall leave that with the courts. What I will say to you is to stay away from people like that. Find qualified Registered Therapists, psychologists etc....to help you find the hope you lost track of. When I wrote the above paper What is Hope, it was for me, how I see the world and my own dream. Would I still love a glass house by the waterfront with a dog by my side? Of course. Will it happen? I don't know. However, my hope has never diminished. Is there someone in your life, you are always belittling? Do you tell them how to dress, wear their hair etc...Are these grown men and women? Ask yourself why you do this and ask yourself if you are causing harm? Better yet, why not ask them? What do you think?

PERCEPTION – REFLECTION Published (inserted - For Love of Country - Military Policewoman)

I walk alone along the treacherous road, Shadows, small wiggling forms appear behind an invisible wall. I continue along the dirt path, Level at this point of time, easing My tired soul. Rows of people drift by me in opposite directions, each reminding me of someone I have known or seen. Some are maimed, I will not use the word Mutilated For it is not proper… Some are missing entire limbs, Lost at war By people different than they and yet the same. I see people of every color who think they are so different from each other; they fail to see that they are the same. Men, women, and children file Past me in one last unison. Differences no longer acknowledged. I see the shadows growing smaller, no longer wiggling, but still and forever quiet. The road becomes larger And forms into a steep hill, I must Once again climb. I reach up to find the Staff to assist my climb. This once again eases my burden. I throw it away too easily when my body feels it is not required. But, my soul Forever searches… I look once again at the people Some have staffs and others don’t. Some are reaching into empty air. They do not realize that there is only one enormous staff, Its rationale is not of this world, This time. The small dark shadows from behind the wall are quiet and still; All seems serene but BLOOD climbs the invisible wall and the shadows Cannot be seen. The rows of people continue to drift by oblivious of each other And of the tiny shadows climbing from the blood. I do not think as I observe I do not realize That on my road I am alone except for my staff, which I may keep or throw away but it, is constant. The road narrows as I Acknowledge my descent. The sun beats heavily, yet the birds remain silent. My lips are parched, My own fault For being silent for it was not proper. I see the rare man reaching out to the wall More often a woman In regret For the TINIEST of Lost souls Who could not speak. I walk alone along this treacherous road Different mates all long gone by And mates not mine, fallen from Their side Childless days; yet embracing them all. I stop and… Look behind me. I see four legged, creatures and also two, sometime three, And am reminded that I’ve never been truly alone. My faithful beasts I too have loved, And they with an affection and intelligence Long under-minded, too often ignored and others worse. These creatures behind me, yet pushing me along With warmth alone, Staffs perched on each one.

Writers Corner

It is overcast once again. I have been balancing my life by taking every opportunity to sit in the sun and read for pleasure. My library had a book sale where for $5.00 you get a beautiful library bag full of books you choose from a wide selection. I bought so many that they remember me. I also did some garden work and decided that I love looking at flowers but don’t want to do the work. So, I will be looking for help in that department. Now back to love of books. Time flies so fast that I realized that it had been awhile since I sent out Ominous to publishers. So, I have to try to balance that out too. What I have found that for my genre it is tough. I am writing about a serial killer and there is a demonic component, a supernatural component and of course there is lots of mystery. I think this is my best book. It is only natural that if I write more, I get better. My own publisher has accepted the book but I am still undecided. I suppose I want a traditional publisher but that is difficult unless I have an agent. I am also thinking about that. Actually, I am doing so much thinking this time around which is slowing me down. But, you know? That’s ok. As I look for publishers I have to ensure that they are legitimate. There are so many scams who have found themselves in the world for writers. There is a site “writers beware” that provides some publishers you need to be weary about. So, first you have to find someone that likes the genre you are writing about and then there is the country thing. You have to be Australian or from New Zealand. You have to be from America or Canada and the beat goes on…………Also, there are those that don’t accept anything with a killing in the first chapter or first five chapters etc…….I chuckled reading a renowned author who was on the kill breaking all the rules of whom? Then there are those who only will work with feminists and you can’t say anything bad about women. Ok, I am a woman. I am a feminist because there are about six categories and believing in equal pay for equal work is a feminist. However, my main character, God forbid is a man. How awful is that? Also, another male detective who works in the team is a man, women normally run away from. He sees women has lunch. So, that won’t work for me. Now there are no gay characters in this book but there will be in my next so I may be able to find a publisher. I had planned on killing my character but I have to think about that. I am not writing a book about a gay character so I can find a publisher. I have had many gay men approach me and since they are not in any of my books, they walk away. I want to write books that is reflective of the society I live in. That includes men in power, white men, men who sexualize women consistently, etc……Then there are those publishers who want you to break down each chapter and summarize it. One wrote in her site that the reason is to know if you know the book you have written. Really? I have to admit I skip those. English class was more interesting. Then there are those who want to know your life story in 200 lines or so. Who am I buddy? Does it matter? So, because I am a straight, female, caucasian of all things and not Native Canadian, or have special needs, etc….I strike out and that is just trying to determine if I should submit anything. So, you see, this is why this method is taking me forever. However, it needs to be done. I do want my book out next year or my two fans or three will forget me. We are forgotten so easily. Oh, then there are those who want to take away all your rights….nada…..I skip those as well. And now that I am on a roll, there are those who don’t want you to provide your book to anyone else, but also may or may not respond within two months, six months or a year. So cruel………However, this is a good experience. Did you know that Harry Potter got shot down 50 times I believe? So, for my few fans out there be patient with me as I am trying to navigate this pathway in the publishing world who have all the power. Hopefully this provides some tips to you writers out there. In the meantime if you wish to buy my ebooks or soft covers, don’t hesitate. www.silvaredigonda.ca To dream……….What do you think?

The Israelite Religion - Theology assignment (from grad studies)

Question 6. When I was in Israel, a woman sat next to me at the Tel Aviv airport. “We are a special people” she remarked in a serious tone. “Yes,” I replied without hesitation. It was not too long into our conversation that she realized I was not a Jew. I hope she knows that I was sincere when I agreed with her that hot summer day. This paper will reflect on these “special people” as the Israelite religion is examined within the socio-religious terms of monotheism, henotheism and polytheism. These socio-religious terms shall first be defined. Monotheism may be defined as only one God existing. Henotheism is the belief in on God without denying the existence of others, and Polytheism is the belief in more than one god or in many gods (Bright, 145). The focus of the Israelite’s religion has been the intense relationship that existed between God and people. Yahweh (Jehovah or the Lord) had chosen Israel with special favour and Israel committed herself to God as God’s people Bright. pp144 & 148). Yahweh came to Israel in Egypt as a God who called his people from nothingness into a new future and hope (Bright. p 157). Yahweh was thought of as being surrounded by a heavenly host or assembly of his angels or holy ones (Bright. p 158). These patriarchal deities survived only in identification with Yahweh and not as rival or subordinate gods (Bright. p 159). In Ps. 82, the gods of the nations are depicted as members of this assembly who for misconduct were degraded to the status of mortals (Bright, p 158). The notion of a heavenly court was shared by Israel and her pagan neighbours. Though there was a repeated temptation by the Israeli people to accord these beings worship, this was censored. The heavenly court plays a larger role in later rather than in earlier periods (Bright, 158). The ancient religions were all developed polytheisms whose high gods were accorded cosmic domain. Tendencies toward a monotheistic were abroad. In one case, the Aten cult was a religion bordering on monotheism. There is impressive evidence regarding the faith of Israel between the twelfth and tenth centuries B.C.E., which traces back to the desert and to Moses, the great founder of Israel (Bright. p 147). That Israel brought the worship of Yahweh with her from the desert seems certain because no trace of it can be found in Palestine prior to her arrival. Israel’s notion of God was unique in the ancient world. Israel’s religion did not consist in certain religious ideas or ethical principles. Her religion rested in the memory of historical experience as interpreted by faith, and responded to in faith. She believed that her God had by his mighty acts rescued her from Egypt and in covenant had made her his people. There is no period of Israel’s history when she did not believe she was a chosen people of God (Bright, p 148). The covenant was a bond in the gracious favour of the divine Overlord in rescuing his people from bondage and giving them their land. It obligated the people in perpetual gratitude to serve him alone and to live in obedience under threat of his extreme displeasure. This concept of covenant is different than those found in the patriarchal narratives. There, the covenant consists in unconditional promises for the future where the obligation was only trust (ibid, p 155). Israel’s faith never changed character (Bright. p 157). From the beginning, Israel did not worship a local natural deity, but a high God of cosmic domain. Israel’s faith from the beginning forbade the worship of any god but Yahweh. This expression is classically expressed in the First Commandment which is thoroughly consonant with the nature of the covenant; the vassal may have but one Overload. One must keep in mind though, that the Israelites did repeatedly worship other gods, as the Old Testament makes clear, but this was not excused or condoned. Israel developed no myth, “the sea is no Chaos monster, Yam or Tiamat, but only the sea…”Ex. 115:1-18. The gods of Egypt are not even deemed worthy of mention (Bright, p 158). In sharp contrast to the pagan religions, in which the image of the god represented his visible presence, representations of the deity were strictly forbidden in accordance with the Second Commandment (Bright, p 160). One can debate if providing Israel’s early faith, the designation of monotheism is appropriate since there is no early literature to explicitly deny the existence of other gods. There are passages where the existence of other gods, seem to be naively assumed such as in Ex. 18:11. However, these are quite as common in later periods when Israel was undoubtedly monotheistic. Certainly Israel’s faith was no polytheism. Henotheism, however, is not a sufficient description of the faith of early Israel because it would be difficult to explain why a religion by comparison so primitive should have been the one to achieve unexampled heights (Bright, p 145). Nor will henotheism do because though the existence of other gods was not expressly denied; neither were their status of gods tolerated. Because of these difficulties many scholars seek some compromise of the word monotheism, such as incipient, implicit and practical (Bright, p 159). I will keep it simple and call it monotheism because to Israel only one God was God (Bright, p 160).

My thoughts on Prince Harry’s SPARE

I have to admit I was tired of hearing all about the Royals which was becoming big news. I remember Madonna telling the Royals to go to the States because Canada is boring. Whose boring? I guess she should know coming from Detroit before it became nice. I think that is where she is from. There was also news about Canadians complaining about not providing security for Prince Harry. And before all that it was the constant news about how Megan was being treated by the Press. I couldn’t believe how they could get away talking like that - so unprofessional. Racism seems to be a big problem over there and it somewhat saddened me because I have an acquaintance who loves England and goes there frequently. She brought me back a chocolate bar from England in one of her trips and I thought that was so nice. She is Black and I am honoured to know her. I could not help but wonder how the media in England affects other non whites who have to listen to that nonsense. I did watch Prince Harry and Megan when they were being interviewed by Oprah and I was a bit confused about what this was all about. I didn’t watch the Netflicks series because I don’t have Netflix. When Harry’s book came out, my first thought was - more drama. I didn’t think he would need the money so I ordered the book through my library and I got to read it, completing it yesterday. I got to read it in the much needed sun. I was trying to shut off my therapist hat and just enjoy the book. As a therapist I often recommend that clients write their own book especially when they have suffered sexual abuse or any other trauma. I also indicate that if they find themselves becoming overwhelmed to stop and bring their suffering into the therapy room so we can examine and process what is happening. Memories trigger. I also know as a devoted reader and writer that people react differently from what they read. They read from their perspective. I know from writing Hey Guy Buy Me, one man kept buying my books at a local bakery until I asked that they stop selling to him. I didn’t want to take advantage of his motivations. I have had men accost me with anger at Word on The Street because they expected to read non fiction. I wrote it for fun only, since I had worked with men for most of my life. Then there were other men who loved it and bought another book of mine. My own biography had people tell me they cried because of emotions it evoked and men who I worked with tell me that it brought back so many memories that they just had to tell me. I was careful how I wrote For Love of Country - Military Policewoman because I didn’t want to share anything except the social aspect of those times. Has it bit me once in a while, yup, but not from the men. So when I decided to read SPARE, I was curious. I have always been fond of Prince Harry, though I was disappointed when I read about his ventures. However, he joined the military, went to war and helped veterans and that meant a lot to me. It meant enough for me to order his book. SPARE is his story, his suffering, his agency to speak up and clarity of his life; his thoughts. I was discussing his book when the person I was speaking to said that the book would probably cost the loss of his family. I have been a family therapist for more than a decade and if I had my way everyone would bring their families into the therapy room whether it be for individual therapy or couple therapy. However, this is always the choice for those who come for help. What I can tell you is that the energy in the room, the tension, the suffering is very different as more become involved. The dynamics when the family is together or alone or as a couple - changes. Everyone thinks they are right and what I try to do is have everyone share their perspective while the other is listening which can be challenging depending on the issues and also on the amount of suffering and willingness to actually work on the issues. Sometimes I have “it’s my way or the highway”, sometimes “it is you and not me”. Sometimes it is “I don’t know what the big deal is so why can’t you change?” Maybe not a big deal for you, but not for the others. How do we work this out? I have seen so much love in the most dysfunctional families. When I see love - I see the hope and willingness they have to work things out. I read this book wearing different hats. I studied England in history. I had to memorize all the Royals and I enjoyed the topic very much. My life interactions with the British was touchy at times as I found many especially in the military - arrogant. I never liked that attitude - I am better than you. However, because I met many wonderful elderly women in my travels, I realized that there were wonderful Brits as well. Isn’t that the way it works? We judge others by our relationships with them which may skew our ideas and therefore our biases. I was very interested reading this book because I thought it would have been great if we could have had an inside look when we studied the history of England. - The then and now. What I did see when I read this book is Harry telling his story - his truth. What I saw was a young man who lost his mother too soon and that love was never replenished until he married. He wanted to marry. He wanted love. Harry is an affectionate man and needs that. I would recommend reading this book. I think it is interesting and loving at the same time. What bothered me most is that the Press showed a monkey between Megan and Harry after the birth of their child. How does anyone get away with that? I have no respect for the English Press that think it is ok to do that. I also have no respect for anyone who permits that to continue. You cannot be silenced when you write your story. Thank you Prince Harry. You are your mother and that is a great compliment. I am so sorry that you had to suffer so. Countries are separating from the Commonwealth. In Canada ( a quick web search) we provided $58, 749, 485.52 in 2019-2020 to England. In my own story within the military I swore allegiance to the Queen. What I forgot until I cut and pasted my own story for you is that I also swore allegiance to her heirs. My word is good, but do I think the same now? Is the Royalty history? Should it become history? If there was a referendum in Canada would we continue supporting this venue? The person I had discussed this book with said she detested the idea of the image of the King being printed on our money. I had never heard of a complaint about the Queen. She was always there on our bills. She was loved. Diana was loved but for the rest is there love? Perhaps - but for the rest of the world? Is it time to keep our money and cut the Figure head? What do you think?

Thoughts of the week - Who to vote for Mayor of Toronto - Perruzza?

Ever since Tory stepped down from being Mayor due to the press about to release that he had been having an affair with a staff member, I have been wondering who to vote for. I did vote for Tory and what I liked is that he realized that home owners in Toronto are not the personal banks of Councillors. Tory was everywhere and it is evident that he loved his job. I was eating lunch at Harvie's one day (they make great veggie burgers and onion rings) and had my back against two men, one who was talking about Tory to the other. He said that they couldn't have cared less about his affair, they just wanted him out. It is interesting how people forget where they are and that the walls have ears. During this election I am preparing myself on who to vote for. Each week one person I think I am going to vote for says something that makes me think - nope. I am taking this very seriously. People like to bash Toronto, but claim they live here when they don't. They are confusing the GTA, which actually means the greater Toronto area as being a resident of Toronto. Look at it this way. Confused where you live? Can you vote here? No? Do you pay taxes here? No....Guess what Pontiac. You live perhaps in Timbucktoo, but it ain't here. So, my dilemma. Who do I vote for? If you want to raise my taxes, it is a big NO. If you want to sue someone before you are even elected, it is a little no; and the beat goes on....on.......Why did I notice Perruzza? It took awhile. The first time I heard him that made sense to me is him complaining about hotels in Toronto being utilized as hotels for the homeless. I almost fainted when I heard how much that was costing for each individual. He provided an alternative much cheaper housing option. It reminded me of the Mayor in Niagara Falls complaining about using hotels for housing. I am watching the politics in Niagara because that is my idea of a good move from Toronto, which I planned on doing since I was a youngster. Mr Attitude (is holding me back) whom I live with is 100 years old in human years so though he doesn't look like he is going anywhere soon, I do check once in a while that he is breathing when he is resting. My boy is 21 years old. He is my tiny holiday each day. Now back to politics of my city. When the Mayor stepped down, everyone came out in droves. They reminded me of mice (I don't want to say rats, because that is too harsh) scurrying out from hiding. They now believed they had a chance to run our city. Our city has made some amazing decisions. Yup, no feeding birds, yup...no feeding any other creature, yup.....they tried to keep fluffy indoors, but thankfully Tory said that fluffy could go outside. They closed my park to cars which meant they closed my park to me. And that is what made me look at Perruzza seriously this morning. He said he wanted to open High Park to everyone. That is what my city used to be - for everyone. I haven't been to my park since. It all started with cyclists not wanting to stop for stop signs. They complained about being stopped by the Police. Ok, I haven't cycled in awhile. But I used to cycle everywhere when I worked shifts. If I had my way there would be paths all over the city for cyclists. However, they need to obey the rules of the road, like everyone else. So, one hopeful states he will close bike lanes and therefore, he's out in my books. We have some real serious issues in Toronto right now. It doesn't take a genius to run this city. It takes $200.00, I think it takes 25 signatures from residents and yes you have to be a resident of Toronto (which means it helps if you know where you actually live. That is one way to figure it out). That is all you require to run for Mayor, it appears. We have some serious crime here that needs attention. The TTC? Well I haven't been on a bus or subway since the pandemic. I certainly have no intention of using the services while people are randomly getting attacked and killed. So, I am concerned about small businesses. I am concerned that Corporations don't want to pay their employees but spend fortunes to people who figure out how to hurt the little guy/gal even more. We have a need for rent control and to ensure that people have heat in the winter and air conditioning in the summer. We need to get rid of the slum landlords that seemed to have moved here. We need to get people out of food banks when they have two or three jobs. We need to do a lot of work and it won't be done while we are wondering about how to stop the people of Toronto going to their favourite park, stop the elderly from feeding their birds (or the young) and stop all the rest of stuff which is normal elsewhere and get down to seriously think how to manage the money we do have and not to spend as if there is unlimited funding from the general tax payer. Now, what I really found interesting is that Niagara Falls had a dog named Pal being Mayor for a weekend. Perhaps, just perhaps Pal can apply. Oh, he is not a resident? Now that is too bad! He would certainly get my signature and hey.....I would pay for his 200.00 entry fee. That is much cheaper than what my taxes will be! What do you think? Hey Pal, I almost forgot the best one ever. The City put up signs at a dog park telling dogs not to bark. Of course they had so many complaints that someone saw the light and took down the signs. Pal, I'm serious. Why do you think I am asking for your help?

Youth Mental Health Addiction Treatment Practices - For info only. I do not endorse any specific companies.

Youth Mental Health & Addiction Treatment Practices from EHN Canada on Vimeo.

Forensic Psychology Webinar - Katherine Ramsland - notes - conclusion

Linkage Analysis: MO and signatures Criminal Profiling Jun 14-27. Maybe also psychological autopsy. When death scene is ambiguous, potential for staging (undermined) when not known. Graphic photos. Man stabbed 83 times. It was concluded as homicide. It was actually stab wound, hesitation wounds. He also drank drain cleaner. Another photo - stabbed three times. Ambiguous - this is suicide. Missed so many aspects of this case. Very unlikely a suicide. Bathtub - Erotic accident. Found sexual magazines. Anyone doing this investigation of Suicidology has to know the data if investigating. Staging - revising a scene to deflect investigators toward a different scenario. Indicators 911 calls. (Look between teeth and not in calling in). Gliniewicz -had been searching for three suspects because no one believed he committed suicide to make it look like a homicide. Legacy of him being a great guy. Tunnel vision here very much in place. CSI effect: One Police Officer had watched a CSI episode where a guy wanted suicide. His wife was ill. Used balloons found away with gun. Investigators believe if there is a suicide note, it is but that’s not true. They did a suicide check list - not tested. A whole other study. Fantasy of torturing. Coercive Paraphlic addictions (needs to harm or kill someone). Picture of head on chest. The Psychopathic brain ( is different). Studies demonstrate that unintentionally when some psychiatrists are hired by one of the attorneys they show biases for their case. (Snakes and Suits - book) How many psychopaths are highly manipulative and charming. Serial killer from Japan and after that couldn’t eat chicken salad but did this for 25 years and not affected. Mind of a Murderer - There are going to be different clinical opinions. Police had wrong idea about a murderer who killed two people and on suicide note said PS. So this person got to kill another person. It is impossible to answer is it nature or nurture. There is a collection of behaviours - deception detection. Dr Ramsland was watching a five hour interrogation. For the first few hours the suspect barely moved and hands were clasped. Afterwards, raw gestures, touching face. Now we have a collection of behaviours that he may be lying. But don’t know for sure. Three cases of this. He had raped and killed. Doesn’t feel unsafe but probably should. Hard to stop are Psychopaths, sex offenders (addiction), need to survive on the street. The younger the better. There is protocol - ethics - to a certain point if worked for one side or the other. Sometimes an attorney hires you and you don’t do anything so you don’t go to the other. Concluded. Any errors here I take responsibility for. I was very impressed by this professor and it is the States gain, and our loss. I would have loved to have studied her courses. Too bad, so sad.

For Love of Country Military Police Woman (for your signed copy order from me directly at www.silvaredigonda.ca) I accept invitations for readings, book stores etc...

I awoke at five to Rebecca’s knocking at the door. We spent some time reminiscing and talking about our future aspirations. Sally came to the house at 6: 30. About 15 minutes later, we departed to take Rebecca home. Sally would be driving me to the Toronto Base. My mother stood by the doorway waving goodbye. She tried to hide her sadness, but the tears flowed. It made me very nervous. Sally drove me to the Toronto Base, leaving me at the Recreation Centre. Now I was completely alone. I walked up to the second floor, which had a snack bar with a huge serving counter where I ordered a coffee. There weren’t too many people there. I didn’t have long to wait before an old green bus with “Canadian Armed Forces” printed on it in white paint arrived to take me to Trenton. The ride was quiet, with only a few on the bus. On arriving at Trenton I met two women who had also just joined: Marie and Rose. They were going to the same place as me for basic training – Cornwallis. I spent the day walking the grounds and found a post card to mail home. As nightfall slowly approached, I walked to the military airport to await my flight. I looked around me and again noticed that there weren’t a lot of people waiting. An elderly couple was walking with a woman about my age to a bench a little ways from me. The young woman wore glasses, had mousy-coloured hair and was horribly dressed in shades of brown, but she glowed with happiness. Another new recruit, I presumed. I heard her address the elderly couple as her aunt and uncle. Her parents must be dead, I thought. At 8: 55 PM, 11 October 74, I found myself on a military plane flying to Ottawa. Surprisingly, I was not afraid, though I had never been on a plane before. (I had once turned down a trip to Europe for fear of crashing.) “I’m a photographer,” the huge woman who sat beside me remarked. Her hair was cropped short and she appeared very masculine. Stories of how homosexual women were attracted to the military entered my mind. “I’m six feet tall,” she stated matter-of-factly “How tall are you?” “Five foot six,” I responded. Actually I was five foot five and three-quarters. One-quarter short of the required height. I had stood nude on the weight/height scale. As the doctor focused on my weight, I stood on my tiptoes in an attempt to obtain the minimum height. I believed I had fooled him at the time. “I would like to photograph you in the nude, some time,” she remarked. I thought I was going to die. So it was true what they said about military women! Her manner was as casual as if she had asked me to join her for tea. “I don’t think so,” I replied. “I don’t let just anyone see me in the nude.” I refrained from encouraging further conversation. It was about a half-hour flight. We had a brief stop at Ottawa before continuing to Nova Scotia. My thoughts dwelled on the future and all the prospects that were open to me. The rest of the trip to Cornwallis was pleasant. Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman. www.silvaredigonda.ca

MY DESCENT INTO HELL - Paper I submitted in Eschatology class regarding this book by Howard Storm

By Silva Redigonda Every once in a while one may read a book, that can touch her heart. My Descent into Death by Howard Storm does much more than that. It takes hold of your soul. Reading this book has been a challenge because it brought tears, laughter and soul searching. This book could not be read and set aside and yet this book could not be read in one sitting because it is too overwhelming, at least it was for this reader. To provide a formal paper for this book is to do it injustice because it is a call to each person to take notice that there is God and Jesus and angels and devils. To write formally regarding someone who wrote so much from his heart might take away from what I believe is the intent of this book so I will take a chance and just speak from my heart as well. I opened this book during reading week. I was feeling sick, battling some cold and had slept for about two days while trying to stay awake reading dry material. I was just starting to feel better and began reading Howard Storm (I did not read a book. I read a man). As I began I was grateful that after weeks of formal jargon, I could just sit and actually enjoy what I was reading. Tears began to run down my cheeks and I felt that I might still be sick. Why else would I be crying? I decided that I would lend this book out to everyone before the course even ends because I want to know their reaction. I finished reading Howard Storm and realized I had done so in four segments. I had only the Pilgrim left to read and after I did, I began to type. I did not read other material from my mountain of required reading during the breaks from Howard Storm because I wanted to remain totally absorbed with what I was experiencing. For over a year I have been reading everything I have been told to read but finding God or Jesus in it has been somewhat confusing. The Bible has become more of a historical text to me than inspiration. Listening to people outside of our school in other courses has made me question how some can call themselves ministers in their self righteousness. Reading Howard Storm I felt God and Jesus and the angels and the devils. I felt Howard’s pain but mostly I felt the pain of God. Not for a second did I doubt what Howard Storm was revealing. I believed all of it. Because I believed it, I suffered. Why do I believe Howard Storm? Because to me My Descent Into Hell makes sense. Howard Storm was a bono fide atheist who apparently had a dislike for any type of religion or spirituality. It must have been pretty bad, for him to experience hell. It is raw emotion that Storm is experiencing. He takes you on his journey. Being held by Jesus and beginning to understand our world, what an experience! It appears farfetched yet it is believable because of the man he was. Why would he make all this up? He was well positioned and respected in his field. He had no belief in God. He was even annoyed by it. What I find comforting is that God does intervene in the world (p 43). I sometimes feel that we are very helpless as individuals when it comes to changing the world. We seem to be under the control of a select group of people who make national decisions and those same groups are somewhat controlled by other sub groups. Even in free nations I must ask how free are we? With God intervening there is hope. Yet that intervention also causes fear because it may mean death for many. I also have comfort, knowing I have a guardian angel because I sense someone with me at times (pp52, 140, 141). Though I very much believe Howard Storm I do argue a few statements. By the quotation, “Parents can never stop loving their child no matter what”…(p62) I disagree. I think there are some very nasty people out there. People have beaten and killed their children with no remorse. If this is Storm speaking I can understand. This would not be Jesus speaking because he knows better. I also am surprised that Storm uses the analogy of doubting our parents as we may doubt God.(p 66). Parents can be seen. They are physically there. Howard did not believe God until he saw God so I do not understand his reasoning here. I think that faith is required to believe in God unless someone does experience something outside of our rationale as Storm did. There is so much to talk about this book and how it can effect. This book has helped me decide that I will not refuse pastoral care to anyone who will come to me for it. If I am too busy I would refer them to others but never because I find the person repulsive. As I read about Storm crying out to Jesus to save him (p 25) I crossed out my question to another professor for another class. I read salvation 8 times in one page of the Vatican 11 and thought it overkill. Suddenly it made sense. I understand now what the purpose was of our first assignment. This is hope. There is something after this life that is good. We just need to be reminded at times. Sometimes some of us just need a little help with our faith. Howard Storm has been that help for me.

Forensic Psychology continues (2)

Even though there doesn't appear to be much of an interest in this topic, I want to continue to provide my notes, not only because I love the topic, but because I think it is important. Please note that any errors would be mine and not that of Dr Ramsland. Forensic Psychology Webinar - Katherine Ramsland - notes Violent Mind - 1976 Assessment of Ted Bundy. Paranoid Schizophrenic can be violence. Are afraid; have delusions. Religious Disturbances - killed her five children; demonic possession idea. With Personality Disorders - Usually don’t think there is anything wrong with them. Psychotic people have been able to represent themselves. Assessing Psychopathy (Canadians created - FBI use it. 1. Conduct a comprehensive interview. 2. Review collateral info. Lack of remorse, guilt, or empathy. Shallow emotions, grandiose. PLC R Assessment - 20 items 0, 1, 2 (a different assessment) 30-40 score - psychopath. Psychologists will make recommendations on how dangerous. Jury, Corrections, Police Training, death investigations (her favourite. She teaches a course on that). Tunnel Vision, Confirmation bias, Diagnosis Momentum. All of these distort investigations. Not all police want this. If they do -Behavioural Analysis - Is there a crime? What type of crime? Suspects? Reconstruction; Predator. What was done? How? Evidence of planning/staging. Degree of organization. Evidence of motive………. Criminal Profile “is not a blue print.” List of traits and behaviours. Narrow down leads. Diminish potential pool of suspects. Developing a Profile: Start: Victimology; Evidence of Psychopathology; Signature analysis} Potential for future attacks. continues…..with Linkage Analysis