Eating Disorders and Addiction - EHN

I told you I would write about this if anything was new (which I attended yesterday). They provided some stats so that is always nice to share. Some were outdated so I shall skip those. We all know by this time that there is a big difference from statistics before the pandemic to now. The speaker was Cheryl Fiske and they will be providing slides and video probably next week. Since I am providing you with some notes I won’t be listing the video and slides. However, if it is of interest to you contact me and I shall send it out to you. She indicated that the demand for mental health care increased 47% between 2021 - 2022. For children the increase was much greater. Eating disorders are estimated at one million. Substance abuse - 6 million Canadians in a lifetime. It is estimated that 10% of Ontario has a substance abuse problem. The mortality rate of any mental illness is estimated between 10-15%. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for those suffering from anorexia. Mortality rates in substance abuse - 67,000 deaths in Canada. 15,000 deaths related to alcohol (14,700 prior to COVID). Some challenges with concurrent treatment - the disorder itself; additional psychiatric factors (depression, anxiety, trauma) - chronicity and relapse rates - denial. Let me know if you want me to send you anything. The speaker does talk a bit too fast and there is a large part of the video which provides you with what they offer at their treatment facility. I normally recommend CAMH because they have an excellent facility and it is free. I don’t recommend any private institution because I think that would be a conflict of interest. I normally ask clients to do their research because I simply am not aware of everything available. What may serve one person well, won’t for another. I have found that when someone wants to make a change, they work really hard to do that. Don’t try to do it alone. There are many support groups out there to help you. Take care and have a good weekend. I have to miss my writers corner this week but for sure won’t next week. I am once again swamped with paperwork.

Assisted suicide in Canada: Is our policy becoming the world's most perm...

It is not a miracle as the Psychiatrist Senator suggests when a person heals, contradicting our Toronto Psychiatist. It takes hope, it takes love, it takes change and if needed - medication. It can take a lot of therapy. We need to include mental health coverage in our provincial health care system. We should never have a person seek Assistance Death because they cannot afford a place to live, pay bills or have sufficient food. It should never be offered by insurance as being cost effective. Every person especially in Canada should have access for support. I am so sad that we will be providing this because I have seen people at their lowest point able to heal after getting the help needed. We are also blaming mental health as a problem in Toronto for all the vicious attacks. I can tell you that it is those people who are being attacked who will need care for their mental health. Some of the nicest people I have met are those suffering from mental health issues. We have a lot of work to do which starts in the home ensuring that children are loved and not physically, emotionally and sexually abused. We need to make some serious changes in our schools to make sure that each child and teen is protected from violence. We need to start paying people a decent wage so they don't need to go to the food bank to be able to feed their families. We need to smell the coffee and wake up!

Mental Illness

Did you know: About 28,000 children and youth were on waiting lists for mental health treatment in January 2020 (*before* the COVID-19 pandemic); In some areas, wait times for children and youth to access mental health treatment is up to 2.5 years; Mental illness and substance use disorders are leading causes of disability in Canada; People with mental illness and substance use disorders are more likely to die prematurely than the general population; and Mental illness can cut 10 to 20 years from a person’s life expectancy. (Source: The Centre for Addictions and Mental Health) From Bell Let's talk.

Why weight loss is hard: separating fact from fiction.

I have just completed listening and watching this topic provided by Dr Jennifer Kuk, Associate Professor at York University Kineseiolgy and Health Science. Rather than provide you with my notes, I will be posting the video for you on my blog when York posts it in about a week. There were about one hundred of us in attendance. I think this topic is very important because of the eating disorders out there and also how people judge others according to their weight. Though I believe my knowledge regarding this topic is high, I did learn and because of that I encourage you to watch it. Take care.

Writer's Corner

I have been juggling hours with my practice education and picking out interests regarding my writing. Having a private practice is a business. Being an author is a business. If I wanted to be a business person I would have studied business and not psychology, and taking creative writing and English for fun in between hard core studies. So, I need to make some adjustments. Today I will be talking about my books. I have written four and published three. I am still deciding what to do with my last book “Ominous”. Should I go with a publisher or go Indie which means taking full control of everything and all money going to me. Today I attended a Sisters Of Crime education period. They talked about piracy, too late, already happened to me. Some authors apparently don’t care. I care. I really care. It is annoying when you take the time to write a book and learn that it is out there making nice money for a pirate. Do readers want to support that? They talked about selling on your own website. I have that with shopify. You can find my books at www.silvaredigonda.ca. You buy directly from me. I do it all. They offered a tip about selling books at what they want to pay but list a minimum price. I can do that with Hey Guy Buy Me, but have to figure out how it is done. Right now I have left it at $5.00 a book which is half price. I learned that readers have to trust us. You can trust me! I suppose that doesn’t mean much if you don’t know me. They said you have to make the buying experience easy. I think my web site is pretty easy. They talked about returns. One said there is no returns for the ebooks and she offers a two week buy back. I don’t. It is not to be cruel or greedy. I have never sent a book back that I have ordered. I think my books are fairly priced. In matter of fact when I sell my books in person, my readers want to give me more. Hey some do in my practice as well and for the practice part, I think it is unethical and for the books, I don’t feel right about it. Maybe I should say pay what you would like and then what? What if they pay less than my costs? Ouch…..Maybe I have to rethink what I am doing or re-adjust. I did notice that people who buy from me at an event return to me. I like that. I had one guy tell me off about Hey Guy Buy Me. In matter of fact I have had more than one guy not like the book. It was written in fun. Am I making fun of men? Maybe. But, it is with love. I feel comfortable enough with men to do that. Why? Because I have always had good relationships with men since I was an itsy child. I know there are creepy men out there. Do they read my books? Hey, anyone can read my books. So, if you are going to trust me and I think you should, I suggest you check out my web site. Apparently our readers google us to determine if we are real. I am real. It was suggested that we check the web site and ensure we look the same everywhere. Well, how am I supposed to do that? Does that mean I can’t change my hair colour anymore? Does that mean I can’t change as I grow older? Does that mean I have to use botox or do face lifts and any other kind of lifts out there? I assure you I am me. If you buy a book from me, it is me who signs it however you like, but keep it clean. I need to interact with you once a week. Ok, I shall try to do that more about the book part. I am interacting. Does that make you trust me or like me and God forbid hate me. I am to encourage you to make comments and delete the trolls and nasty stuff. I can do that. Ok, have you read my book? Would you like to make a comment? No, you haven’t read my book? Ok, here is your chance. www.silvaredigonda.ca Tomorrow I am attending a York University scholar hour and the topic will be Why weight loss is hard. Me thinks I already studied that one in undergrad, but hey with my new older look, there may be some advancement. So, of course I shall share any pertinent information with you. On Thursday I am also going to listen in to Eating Disorders and Addiction. I have written about that before so unless something is new, I shall only use that for education hours. As much as I attend in both about Sisters of Crime and psychotherapy, there is much more that I don’t attend because there is so much out there. Saturday I also attended self and client care. That was with my alumni group and it was wonderful seeing everyone. That was in the morning. In the afternoon it was with the Sisters in Crime and how to turn our books into movies. It appears Publishers are looking for us. I think all my books can be wonderful movies. I would go see it. Hey, here is something perhaps you can help me with. What do I say when someone asks me if my books are any good? I have a few ask me at book events. I have replied with, no, I write as bad as I possibly could. What kind of question is that to ask an author about her books? No, I write as poorly as I can. Help me! Talk soon. By the way…am I establishing a relationship with you yet?

For Love of Country - Military Policewoman www.silvaredigonda.ca

I stopped the vehicle, waiting for the only traffic light in the small town to change. A monstrous-looking black pickup truck moved quickly to the rear of us. A powerful horn began to sound and its engine began to rev, the driver oblivious to the red light. “What’s wrong with the idiot?” Chris shouted in his attempt to overpower the loudness of the truck. “He doesn’t like stopping for lights!” I responded. As the light changed to green, I proceeded at normal speed. The truck continued to cling to the Chevy and darkness prevented us from seeing the driver, who began to brake and accelerate, causing his truck to jerk powerfully. Away from the town, I gained speed. There was no other traffic on the highway, but I was not accustomed to driving without the lighting that the city provided. The truck veered back and forth between lanes. He was trying to force us off the road… and then what? “Hold on!” I exclaimed. Everyone was silent. I increased speed rapidly and moved to the other lane. The driver of the truck remained in his lane, but attempted to drive parallel to us; I increased speed and veered to the right. He had no choice but to drive off into the ditch or collide with the Chevy. He chose the ditch. Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman. silvaredigonda.ca

Couplehood in Close Quarters: Impact of COVID on Couples (notes)

One of the lectures I attended during the American Association of Family Therapists conference is about the impact of COVID on couples. It was reported that there was an imbalance of work division. Couples were going back to traditional roles. Keep focus on effect from each other and not the income. How one was socialized came into the relationship and re-socialized. When changes need to be met, it is very difficult to make those changes. Why do I need to change? Having that conversation is needed. Blended families during COVID had to be re-organized. Children went from one home to the other. Some used the pandemic to stop visits. People didn’t always agree with how the other family dealt with COVID. Rules may have changed for pick up. New partner had to agree with partners from other family. There was a feeling of helplessness. Everyone had to agree/deal with COVID. There was a need to communicate and find a compromise. This also had an affect on grandparents and non-biological family members and the community, causing problems for each other. Children often play one parent against the other. Child may say my mom lets me play in the park when the step mother doesn’t. Empty nesting - can be stressful - can have major changes. Some teens decided to stay home when parents thought they were moving out. After empty nesting, divorce increases. There was no prom, families visiting etc…Many other rituals were abruptly taken away. There was a reconstruction of identities, parents of first grads, actually driving to their child’s school and mock a move in to residence. Couples planning derailed. Couldn’t sell their houses when they had planned to. Pandemic forced close contact among couples and families. More challenges of not being able to see doctors on top of transitioning to retire. Recommendations: Finding new meaning. How to reconnect themselves. Seeking a new mate during the pandemic, individual adults and non-monogamous were forced to put on the brakes, which at times caused havoc. Others dating were faced with challenges - had to negotiate with themselves and others. For non-monogamous it was back to listing new agreements. Example: two primary couples, rules - conflict between new and long term couples. Didn’t agree in masking, and same rules on couples. There were new forms of lying and betrayal. Some were less concerned about safety. There was an increase in fertility during the pandemic. Others because of uncertainty, decided to postpone. Others in fertility had to postpone because resources were for COVID. Couples had to put things on hold. Others re-awakened the thought of having children and other partners may have changed their mind. Revisited if desired children or not. Families missed activities. What does it mean to be bored with your partner? How do you go on a date without going anywhere? Virtual movie nights and dress up and mimic going out. In my own practice what I found was people having more of a burden of work. There was an expectation that because people worked at home they could produce more or because a parent was at home, the role of mother involvement could increase, while the partner did not help. Duties had to be re-defined. I did at times recommend that a parent return to the office to decrease stress. We must also acknowledge that abuse increased.

How families are adapting to an evolving landscape. Worth watching

How do you seek happiness? Here is something for you that was provided by the self psychology module. Hope it is ok to share.

I hope this is ok to share, if not, I shall happily remove it. Have a good weekend everyone.

Key to mindfulness (notes from self psychology Harvard on line)

Basic - sit quietly and focus on natural breathing. Use a word or mantra you can repeat silently. Allow thoughts to come and go without judgement and return to focus on your breathing or a mantra. You can experiment with sensations (itch a tingling, each part of the body). Sights and sounds - name them and let them go. Emotions - allow for them to be present without judging them. Practice naming - a steady and relaxing naming of emotions, joy, anger frustration. Goal of mindfulness - obtain a state of alertness, focused, relaxed consciousness. How? By deliberating, paying attention thoughts and sensations without judgment. This allows the mind to focus on the present moment. If while practicing mindfulness your attention gets hijacked by another chair of thought, gently return it to your choice object of awareness. I have found that though many enjoy mindfulness, others do not. If that is you and you become anxious and uncomfortable it is ok not to continue. Perhaps it would be best to just open your eyes and focus on the room that you are in. State 4-7 things you see such as door, desk as an example. What do you hear? Bring yourself back to the present being aware of your surroundings and centering yourself. Feel free to share your experiences. What do you think?

For Love Of Country - Military Policewoman continues......... www.silvaredigonda.ca

I arrived home at midnight. After a sixteen-hour shift, I was ready for bed. I had loved my job and was sorry to say goodbye. I slept most of Sunday, hoping to rid myself of the excruciating headache that had crept up. My uncle Lauren and his wife Sally visited, and I decided to spend the day with my family. Thoughts of the military dominated the day. “My greatest fear,” I thought, “is losing my femininity.” October 7th is my father’s birthday. I spent most of the day cleaning the house, a rare event. At supper, Dad anxiously unwrapped the presents we had given him. He appeared happy with the electric shaver I had purchased for the occasion. It was a routine small gathering with only the four of us: me, my mom, dad and sister. We indulged as usual by gorging ourselves on food and birthday cake. Later that evening, Chris, Sandy, and I went for a drive to Milton in Chris’s Chevy. I drove. Chris announced that he had decided to live with his girlfriend. I cringed. “Of all the girls in Toronto he has to find the worst,” I thought. “So, she wants to move in with him. Too bad I’m leaving. I would have arranged some blind dates for him and then…” ” Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman.”

Neurobiology and Treatment of Relationships, Sexual Abuse, PTSD (notes from an AAMFT conference)

Neurobiology and Treatment of Relationships I have shamelessly cut and pasted this man’s bio with the necessary changes. I did this because it is easier than writing everything out. Normally I keep the credentials short, but this man deserved to tell his own story. I attended his lecture as part of the AAMFT conference I attended in the fall. This man impressed me. He is also willing to provide free conferences for room, board, and travel expenses for him and his wife. I would seriously consider him. What a champ. Dr Harvey Joanning is a dual licensed psychologist and marriage and family therapist, and currently acting as Co-Director of the Neurobiology of Relationships Research Study in the Department of Psychology at the University of South Alabama.  He first became interested in working with couples and families as a graduate student.  He later developed a keen interest in neuroscience as his first wife developed early onset dementia.  He has combined these two interests in an attempt to better understand and improve intimate human relationships. During his career he established and directed marriage and family therapy doctoral programs and family therapy training clinics at Texas Tech University and Iowa State University.  As part of those efforts, He has conducted numerous studies designed to improve relationship therapies.   He now teaches graduate courses and continuing education workshops focused on the neurobiology and treatment of intimate relationships, extending the human life span, and helping families to deal with Alzheimer’s disease.  He also volunteers for the Alzheimer’s Association, the American Tinnitus Association, and Veterans Administration. Ok, here our my notes. Dr Harvey Joanning has 50 years of research and couple therapy experience. His question was “Why do couples stay together when there is bickering?” You fall in love. Without dopamine you cannot fall in love. Affective psychotherapy. Baboons court like we do. The more dopamine - the more love. The Hippocampus - usually first affected in Alzheimer’s. If partner doesn’t remember - look for stress. 2nd session Linda M. Rio, MA states that religion is sometimes repressed from childhood. The hormone factor in mental health: Bridging the money - body Gap. is a recommended book. One person had all the symptoms of bi polar but it was the pituitary gland. What is common is social isolation. Endocrine disorders. Third session - Child abuse and neglect: A Comprehension Approach to Trauma Informed Care. Recommend book. The report of abuse is very under reported. One in seven experienced child abuse or neglect in the US. 1750 children died of abuse and neglect. Regarding sexual assault - one in four girls and 1 in 13 boys. Poverty - There is 5 times the higher rate of abuse and neglect. Latino and the Black community have higher rates. During COVID, Children have been isolated and at home. Families were trapped with perpetrators. Abuse was more severe when it came to the attention of the police or hospital. Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Adverse Childhood Experiences. The highest ACE score - the worse health outcomes, diabetes, cancer, heart disease, obesity, depression, substance usage, smoking, poor academics/achievements and early death. You can check out utube: 95OV/J3DsNK, Nadine Burke Harris: ACE’S Study. Developmental Impact of Child Abuse Trauma: neurobiology; emotional psychological; self concept etc… Trauma changes the brain functions - smaller hippocampus (learning and memory). Smaller corpus callosum (integrating info); Over activity in the amygdala (fight and flight etc). PTSD - increased norepinephrine - fight and flight, anxiety, irritability, highly startled responsive. Increased dopamine, paranoia, perception distortions when under stress, social withdrawal, increased cortisol, short term memory deficit, decreased serotonin, increased endogenous/endorphins. Sexual Abuse - Disturbed body - feelings of dirtiness. Always showering or not at all; low self esteem, shame; guilt. A book of interest is : Healing The Social Brain Trauma Informed Care - How to avoid re-traumatizing? Collaboration with survivors and their families. I am here to support you. Children can display laziness, no motivation and disinterest. Check out Echotraining.org Remember how trust is broken. Build up and maintain. Peer support, collaboration and mutuality. Empowerment and choice. They are in control. We support and empower. Treatment one to six sessions in a safe place. Trustworthy and transparency. Book: The body keeps the store - Bessel van der Kolk. PTSD for adults of trauma HTTPS://HPELCPRTG TF - CBT on line course. Grounding is better, if mindfulness triggers. Grounding - eyes stay open - external world. Scan of environment and state all that is seen. Trauma informed yoga, dance, and drama - way of reconnecting. I gave you mainly tidbits because there is so much which I can get from slides. I am always available to answer questions. I want to catch up with the conferences/workshops from 2022 since I have already booked sessions for this year.

Mayor John Tory does not disappoint. My voting wish accomplished.

During lunch break I watched our Mayor speak on the news and was pleased. He said that the people of Toronto do not want their taxes to increase and he will keep it below inflation. Next, he said that he has raised the funding for the police. Yes!!!!!!!! He will not, as some groups request defund the police. I blame the reporters of giving those groups a voice making them sound bigger than they are. We need responsible reporting. Those days where you got a rise out of people to fuel two opposing groups should be over. We have had five police Officers killed in Ontario in what - a month? I grew up in Toronto when it was Toronto the good. I saw police everywhere and they were not to be feared. That is of course if you had nothing to hide. I remember the killing of a policeman when I was very young and our entire city mourned. We had our problem areas and knew to stay clear from them. This has changed throughout the decades and I sat and watched my beautiful city grow but also saw crime rise which needed to be addressed and wasn't. I know that there is a criminal element always causing fear of police so that the victims they prey upon do not report crimes. If they can make the police look worse than themselves they have the opportunity to reign. I would like to think those days are coming to an end. I want to see more police in my neighbourhood so that the riff raff find another city to torment. I want my beloved city back. So, those are my two cents worth today. The police are always welcomed here for a coffee and should I say donut? Have a good safe day. Tomorrow is the funeral for a young policeman in Barrie who had just finished his probation on the day he was killed by a man and woman known to the police. He had been on bail what twice for guns and violence? He had skipped out on his bail and so when this OPP Officer on his first time alone went to help him to get out of a ditch, he was shot to death. This young man had his entire future ahead of him, he was an asset to his community and he would have been able to give so much. We do need changes. To any police person out there, thank you so much for protecting me to the best of your ability. Coffee is on me anytime!