Promoting Compassionate Psychosocial Spiritual Care and Counselling During COVID 19 Crises Demands - Challenges - Responses (Continues) notes 2

Eugene Dufour spoke of his work, training emergency response persons to learn how to tell devastating news to families. Many attend sessions during their free time. Last year 28 responders died by suicide. Eugene spoke of one patient being from a war torn country. To protect her sisters from being raped by soldiers, she placed manure on her sister’s faces. When asked if she did the same for herself, she said no. She wanted to be the target, to protect her sisters. When I contemplate the stories of my own clients who faced horrors before coming to Canada, I am struck with awe at how some just for love of Jesus and refusing to convert are raped, imprisoned or killed. It reminds me of a recent movie I watched about how a farmer in Vienna refused to fight for the nazi’s and was beheaded as a result. His faith in his religion was profound. Eugene spoke of a patient who would constantly scream. When he went to see her, he noticed a tear and with a tissue, he wiped away her tear. When he did this, she stopped screaming. He had touched her cheek. He found volunteers who would be able to do this every 20 minutes. She stopped screaming. The human touch is so powerful, is it not? Someone caring for you is powerful. Eugene recommended a book, The five invitations, by Frank Ostaseski about discovery of what death can teach us about living fully. Eugene spoke about how medical staff during the first wave of this pandemic were devastated as bodies were placed in bags and moved to a parking lot. He spoke about having to pull back from watching the news and getting the information from work. I personally practise balance at all times, especially because I am in private practice. I do watch the news but get most of my information from seminars and conferences etc….I try to eliminate the noise to get to the facts. However, there are those that the news is their work and balance is even more important for them. How can their employers help them to keep healthy? Eugene talked about our own rituals. What Eugene does for self care is give his maple tree a wack. He has a timer, gets up and wacks his trees at five. Of course his neighbour was concerned and then he explained it to him. I knew a social worker who sat out in his car when he arrived from work and to make that transition, he would tap his face, calm down and enter his home. Again a neighbour was concerned and he explained what he was doing. What I noticed I was doing after each client, was leave my office and go wash my hands, then I was good for the next one. Also, one of my pets notices if I have a long day of being exposed to sadness. He sits up against me and licks me. I also like to dance and would love to do it outside, but I don’t want my neighbours coming around and being concerned. Maybe I should move to the country and dance away. Eugene told us that we can expect another 18 months at home because of the pandemic. Country is starting to look pretty good. Eugene told us of a little boy whose dream was to meet Hulk Hogan. He got his dream and died eight days later after meeting him. His little sister later got into a fight at school. When he talked to this gentle soul, she had a fight because the other student had been making derogatory comments about Hulk Hogan. Eugene does a lot of work with veterans. He spoke about the attitude of not letting anything bother you, such as the sick….the attitude of sucking it up. Long term care was already suffering being short staffed. They lost 30% more during the pandemic. He spoke about secondary trauma - “their story is what I carry home.” Vicarious trauma - compassion fatigue “mentoring” - someone focusing on our well being. The Compassion Fatigue rate. Four patients died in the first week. Nurses got close to them. He talked about one opening the window after a patient died and letting the breath out, setting the patient who died free, acknowledging what was given and what was gained. Eugene went to 9/11. He was asked to provide a de-brief. They had dogs and handlers searching for cadavers. How do you cope? To be continued……..