Family Death - coping (additional notes)

Some time ago I provided notes regarding children and how they relate to death. It was from a seminar at Kane. The speaker was Andrea Warnich, a Registered Psychotherapist and nurse. I want to add some extra notes here that I may not have shared and think it is important. She stated that children try to protect parents when they are dying. It is hard to stop children from trying to protect their parents. If a parent dies, it is recommended to tell the child that dad died but he is still dad. Can ask the child if he is not talking about dad because it will make mom sad? Can tell the child that he is not making anyone more sad. He is helping when talking about it. Be honest with children. Death is not contagious. Children even at three age of age know the word “mystery”. Children balance joy and sorrow. There are grief bursts. Grief changes and returns with a child’s changing understanding. Children two or three of age will understand about death. Children living on farms really understand. Be honest and use simple language. Regarding teenagers - model healthy grief. Don’t preach it. Offer opportunities to connect with other teenagers in a similar situation. Be aware of the struggle for independence during a time of increased vulnerability. I would highly recommend attending a lecture from this speaker.