The Internet Murders - Continues https://www.silvaredigonda.ca

“Tomasso was leaving the Church with Philip. The Investigation team had taken over and they were no longer required. “Who would kill a priest? Why? He was old – and strangled like that! He didn’t have a chance!” Philip listened to Tomasso. He knew Tomasso was Catholic and that this was his church. They weren’t meant to take the call, but said they were in the area because Tomasso wanted to attend. His childhood friend was a pastor here and on occasion Tomasso would go tell him whatever secrets he was holding onto. Philip didn’t think that Tomasso could have any secrets, because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut for more than five minutes. He actually timed him. Philip respected Tomasso’s beliefs but he couldn’t share them. Where was God when his father died? Where was God when his sister was taken and killed? He could feel tears forming again. “Hey Philip, you crying cause they killed a priest? Stop being a baby. You can’t be crying in uniform. What are people going to think if they see a big guy like you crying? You can’t cry in uniform. Nobody ever tell you that? Philip, get rid of that tear. Wipe yourself. Man-up!” Philip smiled at his friend. No matter how sad he could be, Tomasso always made him feel better by just being himself. “My mom is making gnocchi tonight, home-made with that sauce you like. If I tell her you’ll be coming, she will probably make tiramisu for you too. What do ya say?” Philip smiled consent. ” Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “The Internet Murders.”

Stuck at home during the holidays - Omicron

I had lots planned today but last night while watching the news an epidemiologist asked that if we didn't need to go anywhere, not to do so for the next three weeks because Omicron is highly contagious. Another said that walking by someone and breathing the same air can do it. So, this morning I had breakfast at home and after getting dressed decided that my health and life is too important for me to not heed the advice of experts. I love life and have plenty left so I can halt for another while. I can still enjoy my vacation. My pets are happy to have me all to themselves. This Christmas as well as last I have limited myself to the extreme in seeing people. After I was double vaccinated with pfizer I was flying. I felt safer than ever knowing that if not 100% safe, it was close enough to still maintain safety regulations but socialize more and eat out once again. I was concerned when three different MacDonald locations did not ask for proof of vaccine. I was concerned when I got my hair done and the mask I was wearing was loosened over my face. However, now that I know that my vaccines may not protect me against Omicron like I thought it may, it is time for battle once again. I am on a waiting list with Shoppers Drug Mart for the Pfizer booster. The government is saying that we are running out of Pfizer and will be provided with Moderna shortly until we get more. There are line ups for the hope of getting vaccinated which I don't do. People wait from early hours in the cold and I feel for them. I know that I don't have to go anywhere to work because I work from home. I have closed down my office after replacing furniture which was clean friendly with what I needed to disinfect. I was surprised to see a hairdresser clear her client's seat with air disinfect. During this pandemic it has been a wake up call to see in practise how people react to a pandemic. There are still those who protest against sanctions feeling their rights are being infringed. However, the health care is quickly becoming overwhelmed. They now want health care persons to work if tested positive but not suffering symptoms. Our nurses and doctors are overwhelmed and yet they are still pushing them to collapse. What then? I remember physicians being pushed beyond imagination when I was an Intern. They are not super robots. Now more then ever they are being tested to the extreme. This is not sustainable in the long run. As our medical experts warn politicians such as it is not a good idea to allow a game for 10,000 people to attend, this is ignored by those trying to maintain a balance. I know that after the holidays Omicron will surge more than ever. I have concern for those who are not vaccinated. They are more worried about a needle, than dying from COVID. At least the majority of us are offered some protection where hospital stay may be prevented as well as death. Of course, once they get sick they realize their error with regret. However, I believe that in many ways we have failed them by their lack of education and awareness in medicine. Some feel that there is no way we could have devolped a vaccine in such a short time. They are unaware of how medicine has progressed and how when we unite as a world what can be accomplished. I see that in other avenues such as PTSD. Progress is consistent when minds seek. If only one person reads my blog and thinks about getting vaccinated than I shall have accomplished hope which is my goal in helping others. I did venture out before Omicron became disturbing. I went to Pioneer village, one of my favourite spots. I also bought more in their gift shop than I needed because I could. I social distanced with Santa Clause. I went out for high tea which is a favourite treat. But, now for the rest of my vacation, I shall stay put and wait to be called for my booster. Then, once again I shall venture out. I shall work less and play more offering my clients the best of me. I have been enjoying my vacation watching Christmas movies but I must admit that there was a tiresome amount of the same theme. Girl must decide between two men ..........one is the one she is stuck with and then viola she meets her prince - literally. I did enjoy watching Anny, Tom Kinkade (I love his art), unfortunately he died too young, and a few other true stories and classics. I am reading Vatican 11. I have read Sports and Psychology and my routine magazines. I am reading a book from a British writer which is somewhat interesting but disturbing so I won't name her. I have done some crosswords which are more difficult than I wanted. I have enjoyed Christmas and am looking forward to New Years. I have done nothing resembling any work except for this blog and checking emails in case someone orders a book from me. I have another week of blissful nothing to do if I don't want to do it and I like it. Next year is another year of hope and adventure. I was almost thinking of taking an overnight trip before Omicron came along. I am thankful that we still have vaccines that can protect us because one day as per my studies, we will have a super bug that we won't have a vaccine, but that time is not now. I do hope that the world can work a bit better together and ensure that deseases to not initiate because of disregarding the importance of caring for our animal life and our planet. We have lots of work to do but we can do it. I want to wish you the best and for those who are feeling isolated and sad here are a few things to do. Go for walks and greet people. Nod your head, smile and say hello. I am surprised at how often men greeted me with my mask on. I thought I knew them. It is ok. Start a new hobby. Consider something you have not tried before or perhaps renew something. Taking pictures with your camera or phone is a consideration, take a cooking class, learn to paint - you may just have a talent waiting to be discovered. Listen to music, pray, practice your religion or spirituality. Help others in some way. Connect with others safely. Focus on self care. Consider forgiving those you are not at peace with. As the year ends reflect, but do not forget any positives. Even though we are restricted, we have options. Write.....how you feel, what you are doing....write your story...write a story.....laugh and dance and find joy in pets, family and children. There are great neighbours out there as well and perhaps let them know in some gesture. I wish you a happy new year. Talk soon. https://www.redigondapsychotherapy.com

A Christmas Tale - Published

I found myself standing alone, as the snow fell gently, Creating a pure white blanket on the asphalt, I was standing on. Looking at the Christmas scene outside St Charles Church, I felt sad that I did not have enough money for Christmas to shop; that I still had to prepare for a four hour exam. As I looked at the empty cradle of Jesus, my sadness increased. “Oh Lord, we have made such a mess of things. Here it is Christmas approaching, and our planet is suffering from global warming, we still fight and kill, in the name of God. The middle class is disappearing and corporations are merging and becoming powerful. The rich are getting richer while our poor are getting poorer. Our governments are deserting us Lord. Please do not give up on us. Please forgive us.” “I am hungry miss?” I turned and found a beggar beside me. I wondered why I had not heard him approaching. He was big framed, with dirty long hair, a fat and heavily pimpled face and a foul smell that not even the cool air could dissipate. His face was so dirty that I could not determine his skin color. His mittens were black and he wore a long woolen brown coat that looked frayed but thankfully warm and he wore heavy worn boots that had seen too many winters. “I am hungry miss.” He repeated with patience. I was holding my submarine sandwich which I had just bought. I had decided to give myself a treat. After all, Christmas was approaching and I deserved something. I had just stopped to admire the Nativity scene. I looked into those sorrowful big brown eyes and saw more sorrow than I could ever bare being reflected back to me. I handed him my submarine and whispered “Merry Christmas.” I didn’t know if wishing him a Merry Christmas was politically correct, but I did not care this evening. I wanted to be free, in my seemingly democratic country to say “Merry Christmas.” What has happened to my city, to my country, to my world? I thought with sadness. I had lowered my head and looked up to see my hobo gone. He had taken my sandwich and I wished him well. I walked back to my old, rusted car in the Church parking lot and unlocked it. There was my submarine sandwich waiting for me. I looked back towards the nativity set and saw the boot prints on the snow from the Nativity area, I had just come from. There was only one set of boot prints this late night that marred the soft blanket of snow.

Vacation https://www.silvaredigonda.ca

I don’t normally take vacation especially at Christmas, but this Christmas I decided to take a rest and now I am recharging for the following year. Because I was selling my second book/ebook after placing it on facebook groups I belonged to, I decided to read it myself from a fresh pair of eyes. I pondered at my views at the time, my experiences, some written and others came to mind. I marvelled at what I had accomplished, my travels, my work, my energy. I have worked with some great guys. Yes, there were those who I didn’t care for but it also taught me tolerance. Up until I joined the military I only associated with those who I wanted to. My mother was right, that it would be difficult but I am grateful for the opportunity because I am a better person for it. At one point I write that if I had remained in Toronto with my family and friends I would have been happy, but I would not have grown. When I retired I was offered amazing opportunities but I needed to be home and I am glad that I made that decision, because it was not the right time to move again away from my family and home. I am at a comfortable place in my life. I have slowed down and I am ok with it, but boy did it take awhile. A few years back I read my elementary school journal a teacher encouraged us to write. I continued for quite a few years after high school. I marvelled at how much energy I had, dancing, swimming, skating going to school, parties and working part time since I was thirteen years old. Boy, what a life, full of discovery, errors, building resilience and having a genuine love for life. My life has also always been a service to others including my country. Would I do it all over again. Nope. I would want to try new things, explore more places, have different arenas of study. It would be out with the old and in with the new. One of the themes I read was that I need to grow and learn and to be free. I am still on that path of helping others and realized the importance of psychotherapy during my time in the Middle East where I became a trusted ear for those who seeked me out. I have never shared what I heard and never shall. Though I wasn’t a therapist, I realized the need that people have to feel free to talk and release the burden they held onto for many years. I am always looking forward to the next phase of my life. Will it be another career, another place of travel? Right now I have the responsibility of taking care of my elderly pets who seem to need more attention from me than ever. I oblige but sometimes it is rather smothering having them all over me, but I oblige out of love. I cannot imagine not having four legged creatures in my life but realize the responsibility of life long commitments. My last pet was 19 years old when I had to put him down and it was after a small fortune of trying to save him. That little guy saw me while retiring from one career, diving into another and retiring once again and then seeing me in my first years of grad studies. What a precious gift. My book is a legacy of sorts of my life. I sometimes encourage my clients to write their stories because it is quite therapeutic. However, since I deal with a lot of trauma, I encourage them to stop if they are overwhelmed and bring it into the therapy room to work on. Some do not want to journal and that is ok. People know what works for them and what does not and what they need or can work during the stage that they are in. Some have been so overwhelmed from their early years and once they write they can remember good times as well and good people who were in their lives, and they are amazed by that. The bad, at times can overpower any positivity so that has always been refreshing for my clients. I am in a good place because I can do what I want. Yes, I have some obstacles because of the rules and regulations I need to abide in. I had really wanted to live in the States and here and thought I could since I brought my work on line, but there are obstacles there. I always play by the rules so I refrain from being naughty (hear that Santa?). I can’t work in the States for more than a year (our rules). I can’t make money by taking work away from Americans if I decided to work in the States in the winter (their rules, I believe) etc….I am sure that with the times, the rules will change. People are providing therapy throughout the world right now which we can’t from Ontario. Our college is quite severe here in Ontario. Out West they have no regulations and people with an undergrad degree are providing services and going through insurance. So many standards and not, in the entire country. However, what I am seeing is therapists consulting world wide. I can consider that but not right now and I would definitely charge a lot more like my peers for that, but then there is the question of taxes. Since Revenue Canada made my life a nightmare last year, I have decided to do my own taxes this year. I took two mini courses. I can claim 50% of my laptop I bought and so will be doing that. It is kind of sad when you have to do your own taxes because your accountant made a royal…………….Revenue Canada cannot recommend accountants so I am just going to do my own as I used to. Of course I asked some questions like can I claim pro bono that I was not provided an answer to. I paid my fees for my college and Associations for another year. My pets are still thriving though elderly and so I am still grounded. The pandemic has really restricted me but that is ok. I am double vaccinated with pfizer and am waiting for the opportunity to get my booster. I am not willing to line up for six hours. For you who have read me for awhile, know that I am a Disney nut and the only time I have ever lined up for was Mickey Mouse for his autograph which I claimed was for my nieces. I don’t recall if I kept it or gave it to them. Anyhow, Toronto has already had about a half million people getting their third shot. The Premiere has had anti vaccinator dissidents protesting outside his home so he went to his cottage. Of course that got a mini uproar but I can’t blame him. Why would you go home where a crowd is causing a disturbance and the news showed someone using a flashlight beaming into his home windows. Personally, I think there should be a law that people can only protest at the government buildings even though I hated that when going to school at UofT. Disturbing neighbours on residential streets has nothing to do with the protestor rights. Whose rights are we protecting when people cannot go to work at hospitals or get the care they need without being harassed? Toronto the good, I miss you. However, we have many many wonderful people who do so much for others. There is a greater divide due to lack of increases in pay. People should start paying their employees rather than disturbing and making a mess with junk in space. Remember that car? Really? Food prices will increase this year and a family of four will have to pay about 14,000 or 15,000 a year. How can people feed their families and pay rent if they are making the minimum pay? We have a lot of work to do, but I have hope for us and just in case hope is not enough, I have plans to travel as much as possible and see what I have yet to see before we do too much damage to our planet. We live in such a beautiful world and the majority are good. We are a tad rough and not too bright as a professor needed to research to determine. Remember him? He thought he was enlightening me that the average person was not all that bright. My response…..”You needed research to figure that one out?” Yup, just look at the world and all the dictatorship, hate etc…..Does that really make sense? That too is just a fallacy. But again we have amazing people and we need to connect better and display more love for each other. That is not easy at times because some take advantage of it. This Christmas why not think back on this last year and thank God for the blessings you have encountered. It may be one positive experience or more. The pandemic has been challenging for many. What have you learned from that? Has it made your family closer or has there been more of a divide? Sometimes we can lose sight to what is important. What is important to you? Have you shown kindness? Merry Christmas to you all and yours and Happy Holidays. I have had an amazing year and am looking forward to the next surprise. Santa sorry I did not write to you this year personally. But, I promise I have been good because quite frankly I had no choice. There is a pandemic and I am keeping my tiny family safe. What do you think? P.S. For anyone buying a book, I will include Hey Guy Buy Me. That is for actual books and not ebooks. I will just throw it in with either The Internet Murders or For Love of Country - Military Policewoman. Have fun but be safe.

Resources for Tornado victims - USA from my Association AAMFT

Support and Resources for Those Impacted by Tornadoes Our thoughts continue to be with those families impacted by the recent severe weather that devastated several states, leaving a trail of destruction and loss of life in Kentucky, Arkansas, and the surrounding region. The systemic impact when tragedies occur has wide effects in families and communities. Many of our members and their clients will be struggling not only with meeting basic needs, but with processing these events or talking it through with their children. The resources below have been created by member MFTs or compiled by AAMFT to help support this process. Resources Disastershock: How to cope with the emotional stress of a major disaster Helping Families Cope with Disaster Attending to the Whole System: Eco-Informed Family Therapy An Overview of the Red Cross and Disaster Mental Health If you or your clients would like to help those in need, this website has an extensive list of local organizations in the impacted areas where you can get information on volunteering and donations including supplies, relief funds, toys, support animals, community help lines, and more.

Helping Tornado Victims in the States (cut and pasted from my Association AAMFT)

Here’s how you can help tornado victims By Jasmine Demers Photo: Liam Niemeyer Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window) COMMUNITYDecember 15, 2021 Communities are scrambling to assess the damage after one of the worst tornado events in state history swept across western Kentucky over the weekend. Gov. Andy Beshear declared a state of emergency early Saturday morning. On Tuesday, he said 74 people are confirmed dead. And there are over 100 people still missing. More than 30 tornadoes have been reported in at least six states, spanning more than 200 miles from Arkansas to Kentucky. Tens of thousands of Kentuckians remain without power and many are without shelter. As search and rescue efforts continue in impacted counties, here’s how you can help: Categories: Donate to disaster relief funds, donate blood, donate supplies, donate toys, volunteer, support pets/animals, community help lines, report price gouging Donate to disaster relief funds Western Kentucky Tornado Relief Fund Kentucky Red Cross: Donate online here Text REDCROSS to 90999 to give $10 to American Red Cross Disaster Relief. To donate by phone via credit card or to ask questions about donating money to the Red Cross, please call 1-800-HELP NOW (1-800-435-7669) Verified GoFundMe pages created by community members and organizations in need His House Ministries (Mayfield, Ky) United Way of Kentucky Disaster Relief At Work Convoy of Hope Aspire Appalachia Kentucky Baptist Disaster Relief Shop Local Kentucky – purchase a “Kentucky Strong” T-shirt and 100% of the proceeds will go to the Western Kentucky Tornado Relief Fund The Lee Initiative Mayfield-Graves County United Way Salvation Army Disaster Relief Relevant Church (Mayfield, KY) Rise and Shine (Bowling Green, KY) SOS, a Louisville-based global health organization Global Giving Midwest US Tornado Relief Fund Presbyterian Disaster Assistance Samaritan’s Purse International Relief Churches of Christ Disaster Relief Effort Lutheran Disaster Response Water with Blessings – Text WATER4SURVIVORS to 41444 Kentucky Counseling Center Kentucky Chamber Foundation & Kentucky Sports Radio tornado relief fund Kentucky Association of Health Care Facilities (collecting donations for long-term care staff who have been impacted by the storm) WaterStep Donate blood Kentucky Red Cross: Find your local blood bank here Kentucky Blood Center: Find a drive here Blood Assurance: Schedule and appointment here Donate clothes, blankets, food, water and other supplies *Suggested donations include gas, generators, storage bins/totes, space heaters, lash lights, head lamps, batteries, propane tanks, utility gloves, phone chargers, gas cans, socks, undergarments, blankets, coats, warm clothes, shoes, toiletries, paper towels, plastic utensils, paper plates, feminine hygiene products, baby formula, diapers, wipes, water, snacks, non-perishable foods. The Salvation Army Kentucky/Tennessee Division Northside Baptist Church, 611 W Lockridge St, Mayfield, KY Fairview Baptist Church, 701 West Water Street, Mayfield, KY Mayfield/Graves County Fairgrounds, 1004 KY 121, Mayfield, KY 42066 Redemption City Church, 104 Railroad Ave., Dawson Springs KY, 270-425-4310 Dawson Spring High School, 317 Eli St, Dawson Springs, KY 42408 Mount Zion Baptist Church, 175 Graham Dr., Bowling Green, KY Eleventh St Baptist Church, 1035 Kenton ST. Bowling Green, KY (collecting from Sunday, Dec. 12 through Wednesday, Dec. 15) State Street Baptist Church, 340 State St. Bowling Green, KY (collecting from Sunday, Dec. 12 through Friday, Dec. 17) Next Level Church, 1405 Veterans Memorial ln., Bowling Green, KY (accepting donations Tuesday, Dec. 14 through Thursday, Dec. 16, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.) The Johnson Bar, 133 S. 3rd St. Paducah, KY. 42001 (9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 12) First Baptist Church, 2890 Broadway St, Paducah, KY, 270-442-2728 Dry Ground Brewing Company, 3121 Broadway St, Paducah, KY 42001 Paducah Beer Werks, 301 N 4th St, Paducah, KY 42001 Lone Oak Baptist Church, 3601 Lone Oak Rd, Paducah, KY 42003 Community Kitchen, 1237 Martin Luther King Jr Drive, Paducah, KY Hancock’s of Paducah, 3841 Hinkleville Road, Paducah, KY (accepting donations of clean quilts and blankets, Tuesday, Dec. 14 through Friday, Dec. 17, 9 a.m. to 5pm, and Saturday, Dec. 18, 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.) Barrel & Bond, 100 Broadway Paducah, KY 42001 Stepstone Family and Youth Services, 78 Caky Dr, Benton, KY, 270-527-8388 Marshall County Exceptional Center, 198 Old Symsonia Rd, Benton, KY, 270-252-6530 (8 a.m. to 2 p.m. from Sunday, Dec. 12 – Friday, Dec. 17) Central Elementary School, 115 Jim Goheen Road Benton, KY 42025 (accepting donations on weekdays from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.) Jefferson County Public Schools, VanHoose Education Center, 3332 Newburg Road, Louisville, KY 40218 (accepting donations from 7:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m through Friday) Ronald McDonald House Charities, 550 South First Street, Louisville, KY and 1300 Sports Center Dr, Lexington, KY (collecting donations through Dec. 17) Against the Grain Smokehouse, 401 E. Main St. & Against the Grain Public House, 1576 Bardstown Rd., Louisville, KY Veteran’s Club Inc., 9419 Seatonville rd. at Fern Creek Christian Church, Louisville, KY 40291 Four Pegs Smokehouse and Bar, 1053 Goss Ave, Louisville, KY 40217 Six Forks Burger Company, 1039 Ash St. Louisville, KY 40217, (Saturday, Dec. 11 through Monday, Dec. 16, 11 a.m. to 8 p.m.) Hampton Inn – Louisville Airport, 800 Phillips Ln. (delivering supplies to Graves County Fairgrounds) Independence Bank, 3901 Shelbyville Rd., Louisville, KY and 1900 Colonel Sanders Ln., Louisville, KY Bullitt County Public Schools Stuff the Bus – several locations listed here (accepting donations through Thursday, Dec. 16) Roebling Point Books, 601 Overton Street, Newport, KY 41071 Newport Fire Department, 998 Monmouth St, Newport, KY 41071 Walnut Grove Baptist Church, 2941 Highland Lick Rd, Russellville, KY Akridge Farm Supply, 724 Fairview Ave, Eddyville, KY 42038, 270-388-2910 – Looking specifically for tarps and gas cans Cave City Community Center (Senior Center), 105 Duke St, Cave City, KY 42127 Jamestown City Park Batting Cages, 123 Park Ave, Jamestown, KY 42629 (drop off from 2 p.m. – 6 p.m. Saturday through Thursday) Russell Springs City Hall, 487 Main Street, Russell Springs, KY 42642 (drop off from 7 a.m. – 4 p.m. Monday through Thursday) St. Jerome’s Catholic Church, 20 KY-339, Fancy Farm, KY 42039 Calvert City Civic Center, 991 5th Ave SE, Calvert City, KY 42029 (Drop off until 5 p.m. on Saturday Dec. 11 and Sunday Dec. 12) Water drive at Pritchard Community Center, 404 S Mulberry St, Elizabethtown, KY 42701 (need cases of bottled water) Felix Martin Hall, 501 W. Everly Brothers Blvd., Greenville, KY. 42345 Kentucky Education Development Corporation, Ashland office (904 Rose Road) and Lexington Office (118 James Court Ste 60) Anderson County Sheriff’s Office, 208 South Main Street, Lawrenceburg, KY 40342 Winchester Police Department, 16 S. Maple Street, Winchester, KY (accepting donations until Monday evening) Georgetown Fire Department, 101 Jacobs Drive, Georgetown, KY (accepting donations all week) Clarksville Town Hall, 2000 Broadway Street, Clarksville, IN, (accepting donation Monday through Friday from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.) Hope 2 All Food Pantry, 307 W. Mose Rager Blvd. Drakesboro, KY 42337 Henderson County Schools/Henderson Police Department, 735 N. Elm St., Henderson, KY (will fill a bus to deliver to Dawson Springs, can drop off 8 a.m. to 8 p.m.) Oh Sew Sweet Boutique, 210 East Arch Street, Madisonville, Ky. Green River Distilling Co., 10 Distillery Rd., Owensboro, KY, 42301 (accepting donations from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. through Friday, Dec. 17) Donate toys for children/youth Looking for new, unopened toys, books, electronics and $25 Visa or Mastercard gift cards Western Kentucky Toy Drive Kenton County Government Center, 1840 Simon Kenton Way, Covington, KY 41011 (Drop-offs accepted Tuesday, Dec. 14 – Friday, Dec. 17, 8 a.m.– 5 p.m.) Kenton County Police Department, 11777 Madison Pike, Independence, KY 41051 (Drop-offs accepted 24 hours a day, Tuesday, Dec. 14 – Saturday, Dec. 18 ) Fayette County Sheriff’s Office, 150 N Limestone #265, Lexington, KY 40507​​, 859-252-1771 (Drop-offs accepted 24 hours a day, Tuesday, Dec. 14 – Saturday, Dec. 18) ​ Pieratt’s, 110 Mt Tabor Rd, Lexington, KY 40517 and 125 E Reynolds Rd Suite 150, Lexington, KY 40517​ (Monday – Saturday, 9 a.m. – 6 p.m., and Sunday, Noon – 5 p.m., through Dec. 18​) Broadbent Arena, KFEC Gate 4 Dr, Louisville, KY 40209, Off Crittenden Drive (drop-offs accepted Tuesday, Dec. 14 – Friday, Dec. 17, noon – 5 p.m., and Saturday, Dec. 18, 10 a.m. – 5 p.m.) St. Matthews Police Department, 3940 Grandview Ave, St Matthews, KY 40207 (drop-offs accepted Tuesday, Dec. 14 – Friday, Dec. 17, 8 a.m. – 4 p.m.) Paducah Police Department, 1400 Broadway, Paducah, KY 42003 (drop-offs accepted 24 hours a day, Tuesday, Dec. 14 – Saturday, Dec. 18) Pieratt’s​, 2031 Lantern Ridg​​e Dr, Richmond, KY 40475 (drop-offs accepted Monday – Saturday, 9 a.m. – 6 p.m., and Sunday, Noon – 6 p.m., through Dec. 18) Kentucky State Police Posts​ in Elizabethtown, Campbellsburg, Dry Ridge, Richmond, Morehead, Pikeville, Harlan, London, Frankfort, Hazard, Ashland, Columbia and Henderson (drop-offs accepted 24 hours a day, Tuesday, Dec. 14 – Saturday, Dec. 18) Clacey’s Auto Parts and Hardware, 3326 Merle Travis Hwy, Beechmont, KY 42323 (accepting donations through Saturday, Dec. 20) McCracken County Cooperative Extension Service, 2025 New Holt rd., Paducah, KY 42001 (Accepting backpacks and toys through Saturday, Dec. 20) Paintsville Blanket and Toy Drive, 225 2nd St, Paintsville, KY 41240 or 325 2nd St, Paintsville, KY 41240 (collecting donations through Wednesday, Dec. 15. Volunteer ***Advisory: Please avoid obstructing search and rescue efforts by calling/checking-in beforehand*** Kentucky Emergency Management – Fill out the volunteer/donate link here Kentucky Red Cross Kentucky State Parks – Email andy.kasitz@ky.gov to volunteer to help displaced families Mayfield Independent School District – Need translators, mainly for Spanish speaking families, email wecanhelp@mayfield.kyschools.us or call 270-804-1381 Catalyst Church, 114 Kings Dr., Mayfield, KY, (270) 356-1191 South Warren High School, 8140 Nashville Road, Bowling Green, 270-467-7500 Bremen Volunteer Fire Department, 51 College St., Bremen, KY 42325, 270-525-6002 Lone Oak Baptist Church, 3601 Lone Oak Rd, Paducah, KY 42003 Bowling Green Community Action Center, 171 Center St, Bowling Green, KY, 270-782-4437 Gasper Brewing Company, 302 State Street, Bowling Green, KY. – need volunteers to serve food Mayfield City Hall, 211 E. Broadway, Mayfield, KY – Volunteers needed with drills Marshall County High School, 416 High School Rd. Benton, KY 42025 (volunteers will be shuttled to impacted areas starting at 7 a.m. daily.) Kentucky Voluntary Organizations Active in Disaster God’s Pit Crew – Crisis Response Team Team Rubicon Disaster Response Covenant Community Church, 1055 North Main Street, Madisonville, KY, 270-821-2000 Mercy Chefs – Mayfield, KY Tornado Response (shifts available throughout the week) Samaritan’s Purse International Relief Kentucky Tornado Relief Initiative by Senate candidate Charles Booker Eight Days of Hope – Rapid Response Event (Mayfield, KY) Support pets/animals in need The Humane Society Animal Rescue & Response Team Kentucky Humane Society Foster a pet or donate to these local shelters: Mayfield-Graves County Animal Shelter Bowling Green/Warren County Humane Society Hopkins County Humane Society Caldwell County Animal Shelter Muhlenburg County Animal Shelter Ceglinski Animal Clinic, 5401 Blandville Rd., Paducah, KY, 270-554-0171 (offering free housing for displaced pets) River Retriever Kennels LLC, 5796 Old Mayfield Rd., Paducah, KY, 270-556-4433 (offering housing for displaced pets) Marcus Rushing, 224 Hughes Rd., Wickliffe, KY, 985-605-4068 (has pasture and barn for cattle/horses, free of charge to victims of the tornadoes) Mociso Farms Livestock Sanctuary & Rescue Ltd., 595 Osborne Rd. Ekron, Ky. (drop off pet supplies, food and any other items for disaster relief from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m.) Refer community members in distress to these help lines SAMHSA – Call or text 1-800-985-5990 Report Price Gouging It’s illegal for retailers to bump up the prices of certain things during an emergency. If you see it happening you can report it online or call 1-888-432-9257. Per the Kentucky Attorney General’s office, goods and services in this prohibition include: consumer food items; goods or services used for emergency cleanup; emergency supplies; medical supplies; home heating oil; building materials; housing; transportation, freight, and storage services; and gasoline or other motor fuels.

The Internet Murders - Continues https://www.silvaredigonda.ca

“Chapter 4 Fr. Francis was returning to Toronto from Parry Sound. His family owned a third generation waterfront cottage at the edge of town, hardly used nowadays. Everyone seemed to be too busy. Spring had barely arrived, and with the climate change, winter was lingering longer than usual. He normally stayed in Toronto, aside from his annual retreat. Because he had been alone at the cottage, he had the time to discern and rest, barely leaving the cottage except for his daily walk. He felt renewed driving back to Toronto. He wondered how long he would feel that way, once he encountered the increasing speed on the highway, in the GTA. He wondered why traffic speed wasn’t controlled more. Fatalities increased with higher speeds. Francis decided to stop at a small restaurant to have a coffee. It was one of the few remaining locally owned diners. Everything is being taken over by large corporations, he thought. He wondered how long this particular ma and pa stop would last? Could they keep up with the costs and change? Would someone buy them out? Francis always did his best to support the local small businesses. “Hi Father, what’s your poison?” “Coffee please: black, no sugar.” He smiled up at the redheaded middle-aged woman. “Coming right up!” She provided him with a matronly smile.

For Love of Country - Military Policewoman https://www.silvaredigonda.ca

This book is dedicated to my mother who was such an inspiration in my life. She taught me so much. Thank you Mom, for always asking me how this book was coming along. https://www.silvaredigonda.ca

My sympathies to all those suffering in the States due to the tornadoes

It was sad to see Kentucky so devastated, the hardest hit by the Tornadoes. Kentucky is a State where I normally like to spend the night when on-route to Disney World. I remember one night staying at a motel where next door was an ice-cream parlour and a cinema on the other side of that. I never could find that place again in other trips. I also saw a huge manor, hotel type I saw from the highway and meant to stop to spend the night in future. I couldn’t find that again either. I found the people in Kentucky pleasant and charming. When I travel through the States I am often mistaken as being from New York and then I explain I am from Canada. I miss going to the States and so it is painful when I see places I care about being torn apart by nature’s fury. We have had problems here as well on our West and East coasts and again, it is difficult to see so much suffering. Grief is an emotion that is quite painful. What happens when you lose everything? What happens when people you love are no longer, in an instant? What happens when your physicality, emotions and spirituality is challenged? Be a supportive ear for those who need to grieve and come to you. Don’t give advice. As how you can be supportive? Don’t judge. Walk with them. Grief is expressed differently from those who suffer from one another. When grief is complicated than individual therapy is required. My condolences to the families and survivors.

The Internet Murders - Continues https://silvaredigonda.ca

The dark figure entered the Church. It was time to confess completely to the priest he had spoken to the other evening. The discomfort that radiated from the priest had been arousing. The Church was now empty except for an old priest kneeling before a statue. The killer walked up the centre aisle to the priest, who was oblivious to anyone except the statue of a young woman, dressed in white and blue robes. She stood firmly with her feet on a snake’s head, its poisonous venom held firmly in check. The statue seemed transfixed in time. “Father, can you hear my confession?” The priest turned his head to look at the person who had interrupted his prayer to Mary. “Confession is on Saturday from two to four.” “Well father, I won’t be able to come during that time, and that is why I am here now.” The elderly priest smiled. However, there was something disturbing about the polite young person before him. There was a small cut … the cut is recent, he thought. “All right, come and sit with me in the pew.” The priest moved slowly towards the pew. The church was quiet and dark. He had forgotten to lock the door and it was late. No one would disturb them at this hour. The priest momentarily closed his eyes for his own act of contrition, because he suddenly felt frightened. He felt death was looming over him.” Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “The Internet Murders.”

Approaches to Elder Abuse: A family physician’s perspective by Elder Abuse Ontario

I attended another live webinar by Dr Bachir Tazkarji, M.D, UofT. and Dr Mark Yaffe, Prof, St Mary’s hospital (Investigation), McGill- Developed tools to help detect elder abuse. I have been to St Mary’s Hospital in Montreal and so was quite pleased. St Mary’s has a warmth about it from my perspective. It is where a cousin of mine died from cancer. His care was amazing. I had promised him I would visit him once a month until he died. I took that train trip once a month for more than a year. My heart is still there. Anyhow, I attended this webinar on 22 Nov 21, so I hope I can read my notes. This too should be posted so if you have the time, I suggest you watch it. It will provide you with video examples of abuse (actors). Elder abuse is 10% international. 16% is under reported. There was a 13 year cohort study, of 2812 community dwelling seniors. Abuse of the elderly promotes premature deaths. Survival of the abused group was 9% compared 40% in non-abused. Safety line for seniors is 1-866-299-1011. Reference for police is EASI-leo. - Yale. www.mcgill.ca/family med I won’t go into a lengthy detail because it is available for you on EAPO. Well worth watching.

Preventing Domestic Homicides with Older Couples

Preventing Domestic Homicides with Older Couples: Lessons learned from Tragedies by Dr Peter Jaffe, Psychologist, Prof Emeritus and Margaret MacPherson, Research Associate, 24 Nov 21. I encourage you if interested to watch this video at eapon.ca. I attended this while it was being recorded. From 2003 to 2017 there were 311 cases of 445 deaths. 65% were homicides and 35% were homicide/suicides. 72% had a history of domestic violence. Of course I asked about men and they are exposed to less than 20% of domestic violence. Women ages 15 - 24 have the highest exposure to domestic violence. Older women have the lowest rate but it is still significant. Close to 3000 individuals over age 55 reported spousal violence in Canada, 2011. Reporting rates are conservative. Older women are less likely to report to police or disclose to others. There is a risk in males with a caregiving role. There is access to firearms. Mercy killing is likely in couples murder suicide. As women age they feel they have less life choices. Dr Jaffe suggested talking about homicide and suicide ideation with clients. As Christmas approaches That is all for now. I want to keep it lighter that Christmas is coming. However, Christmas is a very depressing time for people who are suffering. This entry has been focused on Canadian stats however the content applies to everyone. The most dangerous time for someone in a domestic situation is when they are leaving. In the city there are many resources and support programs. If you live in a rural area it may be more difficult because of the isolation. The pandemic has compounded isolation. There is help out there. Reach out. If you are a therapist reading this you are aware that you may suffer from vicarious trauma. What I do is decrease my work load to incorporate more fun and R + R. Self care is paramount. For victims suffering and feeling shame remember or look up my earlier blogs about abuse and the Honeymoon Effect. If you ever have any questions please do not hesitate to ask.

Need signatures to stop abusers of animals to own them

Six years ago I began a petition to change the law so animals can have support that if they are abused their owners will never be able to own a pet again. I had over 600 signatures but that wasn't enough. I am trying again.https://chng.it/jmRbYh97Kx

Hey Guy Buy Me is now on sale at half price - www.silvaredigonda.ca

Well it took awhile but I managed with a lot of help from Shopify to reduce the price of my first book from 9.95 to 4.98 plus shipping costs world wide. There were a few blunders I caused so I appreciated the help. Hey Guy is my first book and I really wrote it just for fun. I have had some men really get mad at me and others more charming, loved it. I don't have an ebook to cut and paste, but if you order any I shall sign it. Let me know who you want to send it to and what you would like me to say. I cannot use any bad language, sorry. The Christmas sale is on til 12 Jan 2022. So, buy one for that man you love or hate. It works....Have a good weekend.

Elder Abuse tid bit and Marriage with special needs children tid bits and hey how about me tid bits?

Today I received an email from EAPO (the Elder Abuse Prevention). Did you know that 93% of seniors reside in the community? This year elder abuse increased by 250%. I have attended their webinars and I find them quite informative. If you are interested check out their web site: www.EAPON.ca. I also finished reading my American Association For Marriage and Family Therapy magazine (Sep/Oct) edition. Did you know that while the divorce rate in the U.S.A. has held near 50%, limited data suggest there is a divorce rate as high as 70%-80% with parents of special needs children. p 32. I am pleased to say that I am reducing my work load now that I have given up all EAP and insurance. It is nice having private clients ------ so much easier. Now I can give my writing more attention. I am now going through my second draft for at least an hour a day when possible. Good thing too because I am making changes and correcting simple grammar. I love this book. I have also provided all my renewal requirments from my college. I am still recording my webinars for this year which means that you shall be updated as I record whatever I think may be interesting for you. I want to spend more time on the business side of the house for my books. My bad. I shall get there hopefully before Christmas. We now have a new varient of Covid so please get vaccinated. It does not hurt.....Kids are getting it now and I must say they are much more braver. When I was a child, I had to go get a needle and I asked the nurse if it was going to hurt. She made the mistake of saying a little, so it took about six of them to hold me down. Once I received the prick I looked at her and told her it did not hurt. Maybe I called her a liar? So when I was watching the news last night and heard the doctor say it could hurt a little, I smiled remembering. Be brave, it does not hurt. Ask for a reward from your partner, parent, or children......Keep safe. I recommend ice cream. What do you think?

Peter Gibbs, Poetry Anthology, Let the good Rhymes Roll sent me a Christmas Card by mistake

I received two Christmas cards today. One was one I sent myself which was returned. They were long time family friends who had lived in the same place for as long as I can remember from my early youth. I would visit them at times throughout the years and each year we exchanged Christmas cards. I received one from them last year so I was surprised that my card was returned as unknown person. The last time I saw them was at a funeral three years ago. COVID has stopped me from visiting anyone especially the elderly. So today I did some investigating (limited) with negative results. My sibling shall be on the scent trail. I also received a Christmas card from Peter Gibbs. Thank you Peter for the kind words, but I don't know you. It costs a pound and 70 for the postage and Alexa was trying to give me the exchange rate. I believe one pound is 1.70. She sometimes tells me that she doesn't know that, whenever I ask her too many questions. Sometimes, she is more accommodating. Siri just tells me he doesn't get it and try again. Siri thought I was asking in weight. I am not complaining. I like asking computers for facts and most times they comply. I thought you could find anyone on the web but I cannot find you Peter Gibbs. I did see your book but not your contact information. You did send it to my address but the postal code is wrong and I couldn't pin point one address with the code. So, even though I searched I could not find your contact info or the person you were trying to reach. Even your website doesn't have a way to contact you. So, I shall hang your Christmas card with my others and it is only fair to say thank you since I love Christmas cards. Merry Christmas to you and maybe you should have at least an email on your site in case your fans want to write. I have never received a Christmas card from England before so it is rather nice. Should you see this if you ever type your name, let me know who you want to actually have this and it can be done.

The Internet Murders - silvaredigonda.ca

Sandra stirred and her eyes slowly opened. “Hi Sandra. My name is Philip. My partner and I were first on the scene. How are you feeling?” Sandra looked up at the tall man who had spoken to her. He has the most amazing eyes, she thought just as a spasm of pain seized her body. She winced. “You’ve been through quite an ordeal. Do you know who attacked you?” Sarah tried to answer that she didn’t, but she felt herself slowly drifting off. The doctor entered. She too admired the good looks of the officer, which was not missed by Philip. She told him that the patient had been sedated. She would be in that state for a few days. The physician continued in a professional tone, “Her ribs have abrasions and contusions as does most of her body, and she has had forty stitches to close her head wound. She also has a gash on her right forearm, a knife wound, I suspect.” The patient would heal without complication, however, and the doctor wanted her to rest as much as possible. The nurse, who was still in the room, realized the effect the policeman had on her, even though she had been married for only a few months. He smiled at her and she thought she was going to melt. She left hurriedly to get away from his spell. Philip looked down at Sandra and watched her sleeping peacefully. He wanted the person who did this to her. She reminded him of his little sister. She had died so young. Tears filled his eyes at the thought of his little sister taken much too young and much too violently.

Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “The Internet Murders.” iBooks.

Sexual Child Abuse

I indicated in my last blog that the next writing will be regarding another article I read on psychology today, pp20 - 23, that I wanted to share with you. The writer in the article belonged to a religious cult and she wrote a book about her experiences “Sex Cult Nun: Breaking Away from the Children of God, a Wild, Radical Religious Cult” by Faith Jones. I won’t talk about her story. But she states that a component of sexual abuse is power disparity. Children cannot give meaningful consent and any consent involves undue pressure. She continues that children don’t have the ability to understand the ramifications of the act. They experience emotional trauma, at times delayed, when they realize what was done to them and what was taken. Years ago I was listening to a man talk to a group of us telling us how it is beneficial to a child to learn how to make love. I knew he was a pedophile. He did not know, that I knew. However, I did tell him what I thought about his comment among his peers. A few days later he approached me to explain, because he didn’t want me to think he liked kids. Since then I have met a few other pedophiles and when introduced to another, I saw him trembling as he spoke to me and then it happened. I felt sorry for him. In grad studies, I took a Couple Therapy and family research course during the summer at Guelph University and my research proposal was pedophile priests which I posted here in my blog years ago. In my second career I took a three day sexual assault course in Sudbury. I have mentioned that before. The course began with a woman telling her story about how her father and brother both sexually assaulted her while growing up. She reported it to the OPP Officer leading the course and said that she felt right about talking to the female Officer, because not once did she look at her watch. When this was investigated her mother denied that this was going on, as did the other family members (her father and brother). She was told that she had shamed the family and was disowned. Since then as a therapist I cannot count how many men and women I have seen who have been sexually, physically and emotionally abused. I always inform them that they can report it to the police. No one except one has done so. If I see a child, I would have to report it by law. However, before I see a client I disclose when I have a duty to report. It is standard. What I want to add is if you are a therapist reading this, it is also important to let the person know, that we are sexual beings and sex feels good. Pedophiles know this and many have children feeling guilt which extends to adulthood. But children don’t have the maturity to understand this. The harm that sexual abuse does to a child is devastating. The shame is enormous. The shame should never be theirs but those who abuse them. Shame and guilt is common in many who come to therapy, for a variety of reasons. People are told that they are not responsible, but often they haven’t processed that or relieved themselves of such. I can’t think of anything worse than hurting a child. Others come extremely close. There are some who have been so abused by everyone in their childhood, that they are afraid to have children, thinking the same will happen to their children. There are those who believe it is acceptable in their culture because that is what they have experienced. Some of these children find lucrative careers as they grow older and are full of warmth and kindness. I am often in awe of the people who come to me for help and I realize it is a privilege. If you are being abused report it. If who you tell doesn’t believe you, tell a person in authority. Understand you can report this to the police. You are not alone. What do you think?

Spirituality and Recovery ( please bang head here attached)

I attended a one hour live webinar during my lunch break, thinking that it would be interesting. I wanted to hear about how spirituality is utilized in Recovery from the speaker’s perspective because it has been a fair part of my education. I didn’t however expect the speaker to refer and think of herself as God - literally. I believe she added that we are all Gods. Of course my mind could have got stuck from listening further. When she spoke of a higher power I was curious if she was speaking about herself. Another time she stated that we are all dopamine junkies. I won’t go into spirituality vs religion or talk about dopamine because I have written about it all in depth for you throughout the years. However, I have provided you with what was provided to me from a friend who worked with Toronto Police years ago while I was in my first career. This “bang head here” hung in my first career locker and then in my second. I didn’t have need for it again until after listening to this speaker talk. A recovering alcoholic, I give her credit that this has all probably worked for her to stay sober and I am pleased for her. However, to present this as an education piece is probably worse that when a Psychologist with a Phd, stood at the front of the classroom saying how we have two brains (she wasn’t laughing). What she was talking about is the two hemispheres of the brain. Again, I have discussed the brain and all of it in my previous blogs. She was teaching at a private school, I am pleased to say and not at a university. However, she made more sense than what I heard in this webinar. This speaker also talked about the steps of AA, but I didn’t know that until another member asked her if that was what she was talking about. I had to look at this speaker’s qualification and she is a certified addiction counsellor. I breathed a sigh of relief. I still feel it is a bit scary to elevate oneself to that of God. But what can I say? I took the rest of the day off, with an unexpected headache after listening to what the speaker spewed. I relaxed by watching Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot “The Adventure of the Italian Nobleman.” My suggestion to you is if you ever hear a speaker claim he or she is God - run. However, if you cannot run, feel free to make use of my “bang head here.” Tonight I am attending another webinar. This is from my local sisters in crime. The speaker is a Toronto Police Forensic Detective who will informing us of his 2008 journey to Afghanistan to teach local lawyers basic forensics. Normally, at the end of the day I am too tired for anymore webinars or lectures but this is just too good to pass and I did take off the afternoon after listening to God’s impersonator. My next topic for you is child sexual abuse which was also inspired by this month’s psychology today.

Mindfulness - Not without risk

Mindfulness has become the popular thing to do for self care, yet it is not new. I remember as a teenager our high school went to a retreat centre in Guelph and we spent the day focusing on self care. I remember all of us laying on the floor and told to focus on different parts of our body from our scalp down to our toes until we were all well rested. Or were we? In health psychology our professor did the same, only this time we were seated, at the beginning of our class. This time I did feel relaxed. With a busy schedule of work and school it provided me with time out. He gave us a handout of the exercise (15 min) and I use it for clients when I think they can benefit from it. It is not counted for hours by our College of Psychotherapy. In grad school, we were in the chapel and an Aboriginal classmate nun and friend I liked to have coffee with, worked with mindfulness and demonstrated on us. This time, it bothered me. I did not like the sensation. I didn’t know why. I couldn’t understand it and decided that it was because I didn’t like the sensation of not being in control. I stopped following her instructions and my mind returned to the present. Now years later, I wouldn’t mind talking with my old schoolmate to learn more of what she is doing and how it affects her clients. Years later when I was speaking to someone who had practiced mindfulness at a clinic told me she had stopped because it disturbed her. I shared this info with a physician while riding an elevator with him in my office building but he was so adamant about its positive effects that he didn’t think there was any possibility of negativity. He couldn’t get away from me fast enough. That had become his main business. So, when I was reading my Psychology Today Nov/Dec 21 edition, the caption “A downside to mindfulness” p 8, caught my immediate interest. I shall share this with you because I found that not everyone knows there can be a risk. The article written by Christopher Bergland reveals that mindfulness may trigger harmful side effects more often than people think. He provides two studies. 8% of one study found that feelings of anxiety was most common, followed by depression and cognitive anomalies such as confusion or disorientation. Instances of suicidal ideation, though rare, accounted for 11% of reported adverse events. In the second study, 58% participants in an eight week mindfulness trial reported at least one negative side effect, such as insomnia, anxiety, or dissociations; 37% of these found that the side effects interfered with functioning. 6% most often related to dissociation, lasted more than a month. A small amount had to stop the treatment. I don’t know how many participants were in this study, or who the control group consisted of. There is a lot missing of the actual studies. However, it is enough to have me raise caution to the wind. I do tell clients that this doesn’t work for everyone because I have seen that it doesn’t. I also know that for many it does work. However, I never read that it could cause harm which has now come to my attention. I will be mindful of the risks. As a therapist, I utilize all I have learned to help the client achieve his or her goal. Sometimes, during therapy what actually bothers a client is not what the client thought it was. Therapy can have someone step outside of themselves to safely look at themselves and explore what is bothering them, what is keeping them from being happy, from moving on. Sometimes all we can do is have the client be less sad. I know that I am not a miracle worker. I do the best I can with all my education, knowledge, experiences etc…but most of all I want to do no harm. What do you think? Have a good weekend. Keep safe.

The Internet Murders - continues

“Sandra was dreaming again. She was running, the dark figure never far behind her. Her heart could not bear to beat any faster. Philip walked into the room and realized that Sandra was having a nightmare. She was moaning and moving back and forth. He was wondering whether he should wake her when the red-haired nurse walked in. “She is beautiful, isn’t she?” The nurse commented casually, not expecting an answer, as she examined the solution in the bag draining fluids into Sandra. Sandra became still. Whatever she had been dreaming must have come to a close, because she stopped moving, and her face relaxed. “Just a coincidence, her being so still suddenly; she is alive,” the nurse said softly, smiling at Philip. Philip knew that women found him attractive, especially when he was in uniform. Women liked to feel protected, and his presence always made them feel safer. It was not only his physique. Philip stood tall at six feet two and was muscular and firm at 210 lbs. The contrast of his darker skin colour and green eyes made most women just want to look at him. His eyes derived from his mother’s gene pool. He had also inherited the softness of her nose and lips. From his father, he inherited his square jaw and powerful physique. His skin colouring was a blended mixture of his mother’s fair skin and his father’s dark skin. His mother would tell him that his skin tone of mixed batter of their favourite peanut butter cookies. He was just perfect. Their perfect child. He loved his mother more than life itself. She wanted grandchildren, but that was the furthest thing from his mind. He wanted to focus on his work and studies. The nurse was staring at him. “You have the most beautiful green eyes.” “My mother is from Sweden. Her entire family is fair-skinned with blue eyes except for her. She has green eyes. She used to tell me that her eyes were green because they were meant for me.” “And your father?” She asked curiously. He was a professor at Queen’s University. He taught English. He had a massive heart attack when he was 49. He didn’t make it.” “I’m so sorry.” Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “The Internet Murders.” iBooks.

Psychology Today reports: “People with disabilities are often made to feel as though their bodies are public property” (Dec 21, p 24-25)

I wasn’t going to write about this today. I wanted to refer to another article I read in the same magazine. Actually, there are quite a few articles that are interesting to report and discuss. However, this morning while watching the news, I saw a video of a man roughly being handled by at least two men, whom was being thrown out along with his service dog from a rib and other meat kind of restaurant in Milton, Ontario. I went to Milton years ago and it looked like I was going back into time. It has grown a lot since then and I only notice it when driving on the Highway. This man reported that he had produced proof that his dog was a service dog. I find it unbelievable that every day I hear some notorious act happening where it is not ok. In matter of fact it is criminal. People seem to being suing more and more which I remember only Americans doing but we have caught on and rightly so. I am surprised that the dog did not attack the men assaulting his owner because that is what I observed from my angle. I am curious to see what is going to be explained here. So, that is why I am going to talk about the article regarding disability as discussed in this article: Dean has a movement disorder and is often asked by strangers what is wrong with him. Strangers ask him personal questions on a daily basis, make fun of him etc….These are strangers asking what happened to him, was he born that way etc….The article written by Karen Stoliznow, Ph.D, states that there is a tendency and entitlement to ask these personal questions and to expect answers. The article continues with comments such as “you look so normal; are you really disabled?” One veteran responded to an employee asking, “How do we know you are even disabled?” His response was that he was blown up in Afghanistan and he pulled up his pants showing his prosthetic limb. The article indicates that the rate of violent victimization of people with disabilities is 2.5 times higher than without (USA Department of Justice). The article ends with disability etiquette which in my words are “it is none of your business.” In the writers more etiquette words respect the privacy of people with disabilities but does state that “their personal information is none of our business, unless they want to share it.” She indicates that most people have good intentions and don’t wish to be offensive, but this can all take an emotional toll for the person being asked the question. This author’s book include On The Offensive: Prejudice in Language Past and Present. Years ago while working in my second career, I was near the Track and Field and I observed a man wearing the most remarkable running shoes. I had to ask where he bought them. I wanted a pair for myself. I was stunned when he showed me that he had a prosthetic leg. He spent about five minutes explaining the running shoe, costs etc…. He let me know that sorry, so sad, you can't buy them. Another time I was asked a question and I turned away from my car to face two men, one man’s face seemed ripped apart. I cannot remember what they were asking me but I replied casually. The man with the disfigured face started a conversation with me and I responded in turn. Never once did I ask him anything about what had happened to him. Never once did he volunteer on his own. I wasn’t a therapist at the time either. I had been shopping at a large hardware store. It must have been refreshing for the man to have a general conversation with a woman without showing any attention to anything else but the topic on hand. This is a good time to have a conversation with your child and yourself regarding what is appropriate. No one likes to be stared at negatively or to be horrified by a person’s disfigurement. We are all people with feelings and we all want to be loved and not dehumanized. As I end this, I wonder what I will hear on the news tonight about this restaurant in Milton. How are they going to explain this? Were the police called? Will this go to court and how much will he sue? Sometimes, people need a wake up call, that it is not ok to hurt others. Have a good weekend. Mine was very productive. I attended another Sisters In Crime event where I am learning more and more about the world of selling books. I must admit I prefer writing them than the business side of the house. You know I have two websites. www.silvaredigonda.ca and www.redigondapsychotherapy.com What do you think?

Seminars, meetings galore and exciting news from the University of Toronto Magazine, Autumn 2021

Since I wrote to you last, I saw clients, had some fun, decided to eat healthy and of course more webinars. I love my work. I love helping people for a living. I have done that for most of my working life and it is something I can do, while I have a well oiled functioning brain. I have been thinking of writing some case studies. I would be picking cases that can help others. I want to explore that more. Now meetings…..During my second career, I once asked a professor if he was going to attend a meeting I had to go to. He replied that everyone has an opinion and was not going. That stuck to my grey cells and I experienced that feeling in most of all the meetings I attended for the week. I also attended a webinar Saturday with a panel from out West. I cringed at what I heard regarding COVID. I won’t go into details or tell on the organization but suffice to say I am so glad that I have the resources I have from the two universities, I attended right here at home. I attended others but there is a gag order not to tell, so sorry, cannot spell the beans even though I don't think there is anything secretive. If people cannot be up to date now and able to separate science from fiction, then there is a problem Houston. On the news this morning a physician from Saskatchewan who had been transferred to an Ontario ICU died from COVID. I felt sad hearing that. Next topic: I have decided to eat healthy. Since COVID, I have indulged in all the foods I wanted without a care. So, now I have decided to eat healthier. That doesn’t mean cutting off any foods, but it does mean increasing fruits and vegetables etc….and choosing more selectively my bad foods for the day or week. I had no idea I was eating so much sodium, especially because I don’t use salt often. I have begun to read the contents and the amount of salt in foods which is crazy. I even picked up a small apple pie and put it back, because 50% was nasty stuff. When did this all happen? Because I am a vegetarian, I usually buy veggie burgers, veggie hot dogs etc…..Did you ever read the contents of that suff? By the time I reached the cashier, I asked if she knew how hard it was to eat health food? She nodded. “You can’t find anything.” I exclaimed. She nodded knowingly. I wondered why they don’t have an identity tag for health foods so you don’t have to read all the data. Oh, wait a minute, they did and it is no longer available. I guess there was a fee for having it and there was still nasty stuff in the contents. Fortunately in undergrad, I had to study this in one or two of my courses and it is a good thing I was paying attention. I remember insinuating to my professor that pizza must be healthy because it has so many vegetables. She looked at me, shook her head and said, cholesterol. I was hoping that had changed and thought I would go to the counter where they sold slices of pizza. “Anything healthy here? Low in fat? The young teen, looked at me and shook her head, knowing this was one customer she wasn’t going to get to serve. So, I went to the pastry counter and bought a tiny dessert which listed 200 calories for one. It didn’t display what was in it, but what the heck. Like I said I am not giving up everything. I am just not eating everything. I have never noticed a change in my scale but then I hadn’t been to the gym so my muscles must have evaporated and thus, since muscle is heavier, I thought I was good. Nadda, one test revealed, and so I am on a slow mission to returning to my old self. I also miss the gym and haven’t returned since COVID. Yesterday I looked longingly at a piece of equipment. I would never have the space for that in my home. Maybe it was the right time to return to the gym. I can’t wear a mask while working out. This morning the news said we were entering a fourth wave. Ok, so no gym, but really, big businesses start providing us with health food. I need to eat. On a more positive note, I was reading an article from my old University of Toronto, magazine fall edition. Page 1 began with “Second Skin.” There is a surgical tool being developed from researchers at the University of Toronto and Sunnybrook Health Sciences. The device is a kind of 3D printer for skin which will be used to lay a sheet of biomaterial over a patient’s burn site. Biological ink (contains a kind of stem cell) will then be dispensed to accelerate the healing process. The article continues that with big burns you don’t have enough healthy skin available which can lead to death of the patient. Prof Guenther envisions surgeons being able to use the device in operating rooms in the next few years. Reading that piece made my day. Now that is progress! How was your week?

Body Shaming is not ok

Recently I was at a gathering where a woman told me that she was too busy to eat. I mentioned that she should make the time to eat. Another woman walking by, looked at the woman I was talking to and said she was fat and doesn’t need to eat. I have to admit I was stunned. I told the woman who made the remark, that it wasn’t nice and asked if she was perfect. I realized I had challenged her. She paused, said no and continued walking away. The woman whom the remark had been directed to asked what happened. I told her nothing had happened and that it had been taken care of. I don't know if she had heard the comment but if she did, she pretended not to. I realized I could have dealt with that more kindly. I say that because my tone was rude as well. This morning I pondered at what had occurred. I have a low tolerance for bullies. I don’t normally see this type of behaviour but I realize that for one too many abuse is suffered and tolerated by others who witness it. I have provided psychotherapy for people who suffer, and have suffered by body shaming. Others, feel poorly about their bodies when only they see every possible inkling of what can be wrong. Then there are those who like to chastise others because they think they know more of what is best for others which includes how they should look, what make-up to wear or not, what weight they should be, what clothes to wear etc……I normally encourage clients to be who they want to be, dress how they wish, and for those suffering body shaming both men and women, to be nude in front of a full mirror and tell themselves that they look beautiful. There are those who are so beautiful but who do not know it because they have been convinced otherwise. This can stem from their own parents who should be protecting them, loving them and making them feel safe, not shaming them. It comes from the bullies at school who taunt them to the point where they may commit suicide. It comes from a partner who demands their own idea of perfection, in a partner. This is all emotional abuse and from what I hear from clients who have suffered physical and emotional abuse, it is the emotional abuse which is the most painful. You don’t know the suffering of others which may be very concealed by the outward appearance and humour. I have people break down in tears because they do not know who they are because others have dictated to them all their lives. Sometimes, people don’t return because they are not ready to take a stand against their abusers. Sometimes their abusers stop them from getting help. However, ultimately it is up to those who suffer to make the decision if they will take that stand. We need to have the resources for people to get the help they need which starts in elementary school. Sometimes, I see with families that it is not the child but parents who need to make changes to deal with their own issues which is blamed on the defenceless child. I often have to ponder in families if parents are abusive or just poor parents. Again, anyone can have children without qualifications. Abuse can be stopped and abusers, abuse because they can. Some are quite gifted in being quite pleasant in hurting others, which is passive aggressive. When someone is loud and obnoxious, it is a no brainer. What happened when the woman walked by and called the lady fat and that she shouldn’t be eating reminded me of how much my mother used to protect children who were being bullied by other children. A group stuck one child in a garbage can and taunted the child. My mother removed the child from the can and struck the bully by shoving him away. I informed my mother after she told me what had happened, that if the police had been called, she could have been charged for assault. “But it isn’t right” she said. She was right. It wasn’t right and it isn’t right, but we must remember that there are laws in place as well. I know of a retired principal who started a safe place in her high school, where teens could congregate, and many who had felt that they were bullied for one reason or another, for being different, found that safe. I think all schools should have a safe place and bullies need to be educated to stop their behaviours. Their parents should be called in because there are times that there is where the bullies learn how to bully, hate, etc…. But what I also see is how children learn what is wrong even when their parents don’t. So, next time you see someone bully another, if it is safe to do so, make a comment that it is not ok. If it is not safe or you fear that you will be the next target for trying to help another, then report it to an organizer, teacher, employment resource etc….There is so much needless suffering going on. It is more powerful to be kind and reach out to someone. If you are one who body shames others remember that you do not know what is going on. It can be a body type, a physical problem which causes weight gain or loss, medication, and for some food is the only control they have in their lives when they feel they have none. Therapy can help and does. So, next time you see someone who does not meet your definition of your own projection of how a body should look like, take a look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself why you think it is ok to demean others. Think about what you say to your own children which can be demeaning. The City of Toronto helps with programs for guiding parents in rearing young children. What do you think?

Another Hallowe'en - Fun times

This Hallowe'en was nice. I got more kids than last year but less than previous years. I got about 70 kids who came trick or treating and they were very cute. What surprised me this year was how polite they were. Is this another generation of hope, I pondered? My city seems to be increasing in the gangs and violence and I am sure a lot of it has to do with our very lax laws and punishment. So, when I saw these delightful children coming for their treats it was a nice break so to speak. Their costumes were wonderful as well. I had one clown who seemed to be from a Stephen King novel and as she or he came towards me, a little child who was about to get her treat, saw the clown, screamed and ran away. "Don't you want a chocolate?" I shouted. Nope. The clown just raised the mask visibly surprised at the reaction. "I like clowns," I muttered. The clown was still looking at the little girl with an amazed expression and the little girl was still running. One of my neighbours across the street had a Myers face mask on from the Friday the 13th series and I must admit when there were no children coming for treats, I was mezmorized by the realistic mask. He would hold still and scare the kids when they approached thinking him not a real person. Another neighbour across the street would yell out and scream that he didn't want to give his candies away. It was quite a show in the neighbourhood. I didn't recognize all the costumes and the children did try to educate me. Two were kind of scary because I had watched a horror movie and I recognized the mask. It was based on a true story so I was a tad unsettled, until the next child came. All in all it was quite a night and I was more generous with my treats this year. Each child got a Costco popcorn package, some cheetos and a chocolate bar. Some didn't like one treat and were not afraid to say so. I actually found this interesting and good. These little children were quite honest and self assertive. I wondered how many would become the next generation of comedians, lawyers and politicians. At nine, it was over and one of my pets was so mad at me, that he refused to sleep with me, "Mr Attitude." He sat behind me against the glass door not pleased at all that I remained outside the entire time. It was slightly cold but not as bad as previous years so I was quite comfortable with a Costco jacket on. Overall, I was quite impressed with the next generation. Happy Hallowe'en.

The Internet Murders - Continues

“Chapter 3 The hooded figure sat at the library computer. She was not there tonight, which was not surprising. She would be in the hospital for some time. The thrill of the kill seared through the dark figured body. This last one was more exciting than the first. The second, well he was in the way. He had to be terminated like an annoying fly. But this one, the special one now, would get hers, in due time. She would be the favourite toy for a while, and then, when it was time, she would be finished off as well. The hooded figure was not prepared for the feistiness in her. So much resistance was not expected. This would not happen again. A second mistake would not occur. Art needed to be perfected. These women were all trash. The way they spoke on line, all wanting to be desired, not alone. They wanted the Shadow and the Shadow wanted them. Each and every one of them would become the Shadow’s victory and “Wonder Woman” – well, she would wonder all right. The Shadow would be watching the mouse very closely. She would be the chosen one to finally complete the Shadow. ***” Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “The Internet Murders.” iBooks. https://www.silvaredigonda.ca

HOW THE CULTURAL ELEMENTS OF POST-MODERNITY ARE ACTIVE IN MY IMAGE OF GOD, SPIRITUALITY, PRAYER, THEOLOGY, MINISTRY AND WAYS OF LIVING, FEELING AND INTERPRETING; HOW THESE POST-MODERN DYNAMICS ARE ACTIVE IN MY CHURCH COMMUNITY

I have cut and pasted an essay for you which I wrote during my post grad. As I read it, I thought of the changes from there to now. People who I am reflecting on in my essay are no longer around. Anyhow, what my priority is now to re-design my own web site (redigondapsychotherapy.com). I want to do it myself for economical reasons. So, please continue to bear with me. There is only so much time in a day and I am balancing it all quite well. I am making more time for fun, now that I am fully vaccinated and spending time with others in kind. I was just given about 6 more books to read and I am looking forward to it. I still have to get up to date with all the routine medical stuff after taking a hiatis during COVID. I also got my flu shot early this year, while last year it was almost impossible. Once my web site is finished, I shall let you know and you can take a peak. For now, here is another assignment. By the end of the week I will post more from "The Internet Murders". Bye for now. HOW THE CULTURAL ELEMENTS OF POST-MODERNITY ARE ACTIVE IN MY IMAGE OF GOD, SPIRITUALITY, PRAYER, THEOLOGY, MINISTRY AND WAYS OF LIVING, FEELING AND INTERPRETING; HOW THESE POST-MODERN DYNAMICS ARE ACTIVE IN MY CHURCH COMMUNITY By Silva Redigonda HOW THE CULTURAL ELEMENTS OF POST-MODERNITY ARE ACTIVE IN MY IMAGE OF GOD, SPIRITUALITY, PRAYER, THEOLOGY, MINISTRY AND WAYS OF LIVING, FEELING AND INTERPRETING; HOW THESE POST-MODERN DYNAMICS MAY BE ACTIVE IN MY CHURCH COMMUNITY My understanding of the post-modern world is based on the authors Gallaghar and Borgman. The next ten pages will reveal what that understanding is in development with the authors. Borgmann describes postmodernism has a movement marking an “emerging divide between two epocs.”(Borgmann, p 48) Gallaghar describes postmodernism as remaining “largely in a mode of refutation.” (Gallaghar, p 87) The author continues that cultural post- modernity is beyond critiquing negatively. For some, it provides a new humility that is an opening to faith and, “For others, it is a lethal form of relativism that undermines all truth claims.” (ibid. p 87) Borgmann agrees that there is a division of how postmodernism is viewed. Some welcome a post-modernist label for their work, while others are “offended” by it (Borgmann, p 48). I view postmodernism as a process of recognition and protest and of moving ahead. I view post-modernism as a new view from one that has exhausted itself. I view postmodernism as a recognition that things are not always as they seem. I view postmodernism as a foundational shift of saying no. I view postmodernism as a movement towards a new spirituality; a new inclusiveness because for God there are no outsiders. We are in an era of exploration. We are no longer white and Western. We are a combination of all people around us and we are moving towards a new era of being one. There is a collectiveness; a unity. People are more educated. People are asking more questions. Curiosity is encouraged. There is an expectation. People need to have things make sense to them. All this and more is post-modernity. I agree with Gallagher and Borgmann that there are different views regarding postmodernism. Some feel that it is all negative, others positive, while still others seem to find its’ meaning within the spectrum of the two. Borgmann depicts a cultural change in economics. Large companies, “have shrunk or disintegrated” (Borgmann, p 62). Borgmann adds that though the American economy appears to be declining, others such as “Japan” and “Germany” are thriving (ibid, p 62). Gallagher’s post-modernism distrusts institutions as manipulative forms of oppression by the powerful (Gallagher p 89). As corporations dismantle, jobs are lost and people are faced with a new reality. How will they feed their families? How will they pay their mortgages? Can they continue to live in their homes? Where do they turn to? How do they deal with such a shift? Corporations redefine themselves into other companies, others merge in unity such as the banks in attempting to hold on to their massive power, still others take advantage of the low cost of labour in third world countries, paying pitiful wages for long treacherous work, in poor conditions. The paradigmatically post modern firm is a small group of well educated people, eager and alert to find market openings and to fill them quickly with high-quality goods and services. Informed cooperation is second nature here, a necessity of prosperity. (Borgmann, p 77) In Educational Psychology I learned that in post-modernity the entire concept of competition needs to be re-examined because it does not work. Only by cooperation and brainstorming together rather than against each other can we be stronger. And in a work shop for the career woman I learned that five years is the length of time one should be prepared to work in this post-modern world. Work pensions, stability and loyalty to an employer for a lifetime will shortly be behind us. I agree with Borgmann that post-modern cooperation, would be sustained not by a rigid structure but by shared information and flexible adaption.”(ibid, p 77). In the process the poor grow poorer and the richer become richer while the middle class struggle to maintain their status. What does this do to our spirituality? We seek help. There are those who feel betrayed by governments, who turn to others for help and others are helping. There are those who turn to God, even those who deny God, are seeking God. They call this spirituality and prefer it to the concept of religion because, “postmodernism does not so much reject atheism as assume it.”(ibid, p 90) Some find themselves growing closer to God and others scramble also with others for a new definition of God. Both return to a classical world of mythology and/or Jesus in a movement to find meaning in their lives that supersedes the situation they find themselves in. They look or deny God but it is God who they search for, for meaning of their existence in a world that seems fragile. “Postmodernity, at least in some of its tendencies, is much less sure about atheism.”(ibid, p 92) Postmodernism becomes about relationships with God and with each other. It is also about our relationship with ourselves. We look into the past “because in order to go forward we also need to go back.”(ibid, p100) By looking at our past we try to regain the importance of relationships with God and with each other. As my friends have lost their corporate careers here at home and I see them either suffer or content to slow down, I feel an ongoing transition that is not quite finished and therefore I agree with Anthony Giddens who “argues that it is premature to label our age postmodern” (Gallagher, p 91) . Yesterday, another friend from Germany informed me that her position after seventeen years has been terminated because her company is dismantling. Germany too is affected. Fortunately, she is financially secure. Already, my German friend is determined to redefine herself and start again. But not all are so strong. How is this cultural element of post-modernity active in my image of God? I have always felt that there is so much we do not know and understand. We have the Bible. We have Jesus. We have our Pope. We have prayer and a sense of another; at least I am aware of God. But it also does not make sense to me. Perhaps I am a dreamer. Perhaps I like to focus on good. But my eyes are not closed. Postmodernism is a turning point of looking at how we can help each other and our community. God is very much around and I can see God in all this mess. I was sitting in a bakery shop, shortly after taking a second retirement and starting school at Regis. I was wondering if I would be able to make it on my pensions. I was eating a pastry and drinking a coffee and feeling the stress of change. I felt a presence in the seat beside me or at least from the area and I then felt comforted. I did not understand it but I know it was related to God. I know that I can return to the working force at anytime but I have given myself to God and to me. In my living room, while deciding if I should go to Regis, to study theology or go to Ryerson for a Masters in psychology, I said to God, that I had lived my life the way I liked for my first half and the second half my life will literally would belong to God. I am more conscious of God of being everywhere and within us at the same time. In this second term of life, of postmodernism, I want to continue to help people in a different way than I did before. I want to validate who they are as people of God. We have globally made a mess of things and now we have to fix it and it can only be done in my opinion with God’s help, returning to values bestowed by Jesus. Who is God in this post-modernity? I don’t really know. My image of God is consistent. My image of God is transcendent. My image of God is the person who walks down the street, young or old, beautiful or painful to the eyes. I see God in all beauty. I see God in nature. I will look at my pet and marvel at her beautiful face and I will look at my other pet and tell him that God smudged him when he designed his face. My prayer is usually a discussion with God and I try to hear God. Too often I do not hear anything unless I am in crises and then I feel; is it God? I go to communion and feel something in my central core. Is that Jesus? I know there is something but I am not really sure of the image, only the sensation of God. I keep company with those who I feel are kind. I extend my arm to those who need me and I prepare for a ministry of counselling so I can be a pillar for those who suffer. I want to minister to anyone but strictly from a place of Catholicism. I realize there is poverty in my church community, but somehow it is being missed, denied or rejected. A professor once said that Christmas begins during this date and ends at this date and my mind ventured to what Christmas is to me. To me Christmas is all year. I wish that the festivities and warmth and exchanges can last all year. In my church I know that there are people poor in spirit and poor in finances. When at Christmas people donated food items, I learned that people called the church for some of that food. Yet, it had all been sent out. When I suggested that we have our own food bank, I was instructed by parishioners that people in our church do not need food; they only want food taken care for them so they can use their money for other things. This tears at my heart and I must talk to the pastor to try to persuade him that there is a need for some members. Why not have a food bank in a church? This will be my project this summer. This is part of postmodernism. It is recognizing needs and doing something about it or trying to. Having poor people in my church is a new concept that was not recognized before and still is not by too many. With new immigrants from the third world, low paying jobs, and others losing theirs, a new class of people is coming to my church which did not exist before - a poor class. This is not being seen by all, even our priests. This may be related to the concept that, “Churches are perceived as being part of the naïve and authoritarian past.” (Gallagher, pp 89-90) This extends to my theology. As a theological student I ponder how during Holy week, I must prioritize my study and papers before celebrating Lent. This is the second year that Holy Week took a secondary role. Yet when I was working, I had the four days off and thus could devote myself entirely to God. I wonder that the Classical view of Adam and Eve is still recited literally and ponder why? This too I am sure will change because things need to make sense now for people. In amongst all this imbalance, “Work is replaced by shopping and the fetish of style” (Gallagher, p 90) and “banks offer you dozens of ways of protecting and profiting from your money.”( Borgmann, p 74) This extends to money that one does not have. This is borrowing off mortgages with astronomical interest rates, bank loan sharks, and credit cards which seem to be the only source of payment in a post-modern culture. People with too much money and little time for anything else can enjoy the abundance of services provided for their benefits. “…it [the service industry] provides intangible goods, it needs no space for its offerings.” (ibid, p 74) This can range from those who will worry for you, “about your dog’s diet, the safety of your child…the mess of your files…”(ibid, p 74). You can find a service for absolutely anything including how to declutter your home. At the other side of the spectrum you have people who cannot manage to live on the minimum wage and hospitality continues to expect you to pay for his employee’s wages with tips. It is no longer to insure prompt service. Tipping is to ensure these employees can afford to eat. This is what I ponder when I have horrendous service and still tip. Jesus had a soft spot for the poor and this image is extended to me. I too have a soft spot for the poor. Perhaps, it is because my father was poor when he was a boy. My mother often told me that my dad ate so much because there was so little for him during the war. My father never spoke of it and never complained. He worked hard and saved his money and tried to instil those values in me. I sponsor a child with world vision and donate but I do not give much, unless there is a disaster in the world. I have put myself first and right or wrong, I continue to do so financially. I do like fine things but I do not need to buy the latest or best. What I buy I use until it is dead. My oven is green. My television died after 28 years of service. But, I did replace it with the best after its demise. I do not shop on Sundays and if no one else did than it would become a day of rest for those who have to work on Sundays without wanting to. I buy what I like for clothing and keep it until it is worn. I put on my front lawn anything that can be recycled and that includes placing any items I do not need anymore but that can be used by someone. I do not need to take it anywhere because all is picked up and used from my front lawn in my neighbourhood. I rarely shop at Wal-Mart and if others did the same there would be no Wal-Mart. I realize my power as an individual. When the city came out with saving money by using water at specific hours for washing clothes, I called them and informed them that I would wash my clothes when I wanted and that all this was doing was exploiting the poor. It is the poor who will try to accommodate the city and it is the poor, with God knows how many menial jobs, who need to wash when they can. I buy my prescription drugs locally and it was my father who impressed upon me that this is what I should do. And so, I no longer get my prescriptions at Costco at cheaper prices. I support the little man as much as possible and within my ability. I will stop when I am shopping to listen to a stranger’s sad story. I will buy a pie from a stranger whose husband no longer has a job and this is the only way, a wife can try to support her family. And in church I make that extra effort to be approachable to the poor so that they can come to me not only when I am Eucharistic Minister but when they need me to read something for them or to explain something to them. One priest remarked that we live in a wealthy area [from his perspective] and chastised people for going inside and locking their doors when he was walking in the neighbourhood. He found that people were doing this when a stranger, not well kept, was walking through. I call this fear. The priest remarked that the man could be God. I thought of an older man, some years earlier who was caught in the rain and he huddled to the neighbour’s tree next door. It was pouring and the wind was brutal. I was concerned that he might be struck by lightning. I offered him my enclosed alcove. I asked him if he wanted a coffee and he said yes. So I made him a coffee with the sugar and milk he wanted and along with a cookie which he also accepted. I brought it out to him. I ensured he was dry but did not invite him into my home because I did not know who he is. I never saw him again. There is so much crime that never existed before with such magnitude in our city that apprehension has become the norm. This I suggest is also part of postmodernism. Another infliction of post-modernity is loneliness. Computers have replaced the, “the social connective tissue that is made up of voices and shouts, of gestures and expressions…” (Borgmann, p 69). Computers also allow people to do most of their work away from the workplace, thus removing the person from the social exposure related to work. Borgmann offers an example of computers in restaurants to demonstrate limited communication for the promotion of efficiency, “ …no other communication between waiters and waitresses and kitchen staff is normally permitted…it obviates disputes endemic in most restaurants... ” (ibid p 69). Gallagher writes of how he and his students, “discussed how in postmodernity the fate of the self deepens into a new isolation and loss of connections.” (Gallagher, p 92) I have been to five funerals this semester and as a result, I realized I lost connections with too many relatives and old friends. First it was work and then it was school that kept me focused for the moment. I realize that I am missed and that I to missed those connections. I am intent in renewing old relationships this summer between semesters. In my image of God, I see Jesus reaching out to the poor, the sick and the lonely. Jesus always cured, encouraged, and motivated. He was a teacher for us to do the same. I have asked for coffee time at my church so the poor and lonely can communicate with others and have some type of socializing. This is also good for the not so poor so they are not leaving the church service to go to their respective comfortable homes but encouraged to look into the faces of others and not only see the similarities but also see the differences. This has been turned down because there are four masses of three different languages and the English speaking mass is last. It is felt that the English speaking population would be considered favoured if there was coffee served after that mass. Coffee after each mass is not an option. Oh, for Christmas to be extended Lord, for at Christmas we have many functions, even after the English speaking mass. I see division, rather than unity by the services done in different languages. If the mass was said in only the English language perhaps people would see other cultures and recognize them has fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Even if the mass was done in different languages at the same time, segregation might not be so visible. But this is not noticed by my church and therefore Coffee hour is still a vocation not lost to me. I spoke of this to my mother and she told me that when immigrants were coming to Canada in the past, they would have a separate service in the basement of the church. At least now, they share the same space. When I offered free counselling and parishioners came to me for it, it was at Our Lady of Lourdes where they came to me for counselling, more than 10 miles from where they could have gone if there was space within our own church. Still they did do that weekly for an entire year without complaining. I love my church and my priests. They do the best they can. We all have different perspectives. I pray that God leads me to where I am expected to be and do the most within my ability. I love the comfort of my home. I love my pets and family and friends and I love to socialize. I have always been drawn to people and love parties. Yet, I know that there are people who are alone, who are not socialized and who do not have friends. I make myself available to them as a person and as a counsellor. I see an open honesty and goodness in them. There is so much work to be done in the post-modern world. On Good Friday, and I received a flyer at my home from a fellow parishioner. It was an advertisement that two neighbouring Catholic churches were holding a procession which would pass along my street. The group would gather at one church and walk passes my church and then stop at the second Church. It was requested that a candle be lit and placed on the verandah while the procession passed. I decided to light several candles and brought out an angel (it was pointed out to me by a friend that I have angels in every room. I had not noticed). As night fell, I waited for the procession to arrive. A police vehicle led the sea of lights walking down the hill. It was blocks of people. The policeman remarked how amazing it was as he drove by me. I responded that it was wonderful, never taking my eyes away from the people. I noticed two neighbours who are not Catholic bring out a candle and light it and unwanted tears stained my face. It was the first time during holy week that I had felt touched by the Lord’s passion. At this moment watching Catholics and non Catholics coming together to marvel as crosses and a statue of Mary made its way past our homes, I felt that this was the best that post-modernity had to offer. There was only a mysterious aura of awe. No words were necessary. At this moment I felt proud of my country and church. I felt proud that there was a unity of the faithful and that it touched all. There was a silence as people walked by. I noticed the porch lights coming alive as people who had no candles lit their verandahs. People from other streets came to ours to watch. Though I have seen many processions walk by my house and elsewhere, none impacted me as much. We are living in a world of post-modernity. The authors have clearly depicted a time of computers and economic change that requires and is getting a renewal of attention. With this change there is a movement towards relationships. Our economic culture which has failed to sustain us is crumbling and we are redefining ourselves as people in relationship with each other and with God. It is a new generation that is more educated, more spiritual, and is asking more questions. We are aware of change as we are forced to see our needs revamping. Systems in place are changing. Corporations that have grown strong and powerful are collapsing. Through all this unsettlement, relationship is becoming important not only with ourselves and each other but also with the other – God, if realized or not. Bibliography Borgmann, Albert. Crossing the Postmodern Divide. “The Postmodern Critique of Realism. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1992. Gallagher, Michael Paul. Clashing Symbols: An Introduction To Faith And Culture. “The Postmodern Situation – Friend or Foe? London: Darton, Longman and Todd, 1997.