The last day of the year. A time for pause.

What a year it has been! I never thought I could spend so much time at home. Things were the busiest for me since I started my practice. I had to quickly learn everything I could about Covid and about starting an online practice - something I had really not been interested in doing. Talk about changing quickly to adapt to the environment. I was concerned about achieving my education hours which was not necessary because I surpassed what I required. I attended more seminars and conferences than I ever had before because it could all be done on-line. It came to a point that I had to decline opportunities because I was simply just too busy. This is the first time I took so much holidays during Christmas because normally it is the most difficult time for people, but this year was difficult throughout the year for most people. We saw as a society the worse of people and the best. There was a surge of racism, much to my disappointment. I expected more from my fellow Canadians. We need to educate people more regarding this issue. We cannot have fellow Canadians target others because of religion, race, culture, colour etc.....We are all Canadians. Neither should we target our guests from other countries. Canadians also stepped up to help those who could not help themselves. Many volunteered their services for others. Children also participated in raising funds for those who needed it. I believe the goodness that came from people in helping others, far surpassed those horrible instances where people in their ignorance attacked others. Some were caught and charged, rightly so. We cannot tolerate this behavior. All people have the right to feel safe in this country. So many come from far away to find freedom here and we all have a responsibility to help each other achieve that. Freedom is not about exposing others to a virus. Freedom is about our protection so we can all be free to live. One of the things I usually ask from clients is how they manage their self care. Drugs and alcohol is not managing self care. Sometimes people need to face their fears and find a healthy way to manage that. We have people in this country who have suffered so much in their country of origin. They have been silenced, raped and/or tortured for their refusal of denouncing their religion or families. Canadians and those educated in this country have been incarcerated in other countries for no reason other than to promote freedom. Others have been incarcerated because dictators are mad at our country. I am in awe of so many people I have provided psychotherapy for. I have been offered a gift in being able to help others. I wish you all a safe and healthy new year. I wish you joy. In January I will return to providing you with notes from my conferences, seminars and other. I will also continue with theology notes and blurps from my books. My new Year resolution is to work a bit less and spend more time on my love of writing my stories. I also would like more time to be able to accept an opportunity which is of interest to me, rather than to causually dismiss offers. I would love to open up my home office again to people who prefer face to face. I will also continue with an online practice or telephone. I want to be able to offer someone an opportunity of their own choice. Many even young people are not tech savy and are intimidated by on-line therapy. I understand that. Regarding book #4, I have written about 30 pages so far and am hoping to write 200. The book I am now writing about is spooky with a touch of policing, mystery and more spookiness. Of course Holy Terror, my baby is in it as well. Holy Terror is sleeping right beside me as I am typing away. Mr Attitude is at his favourite place - my bed. I want to thank you all for reading my blogs. Thank you for your patience. Keep warm, eat well, keep moving and remember there are a lot of good people out there. It just may not seem so when you are a target. What do you think? Happy New year.

It is wonderful being on holidays - Even if it means staying home- Pandemic vacation - Keep safe - Stay home

I hope you are following the health guidelines and staying home. This has been very different for us all over the world. I am enjoying my first Christmas holiday in a long time at home. I am enjoying my own company with brief distance drop off's from neighbours with gifts. Sometimes I hear the exterior door open and a brief discussion arise. Needless to say I have a lot of security in my home which keeps clients and me safe. There is video, a panic alarm, fire alarm and intrusion alarm. Love our tech. For Christmas I was introduced to Alexa and I must admit it has become my favourite Christmas gift. I love technology. Now if I can only get her to clean up the house and cook, but it will all come eventually. I am enjoying this downtime. Anything having to do with therapy is off the board. All is fun and relaxation. I still get up at my regular time most days and do check my emails. I have done almost everything electronically this year including my work. I feel like Sandra Bullock in the net. Who knew that I would be living like a recluse for a year? I had been so busy working that I had no time to write for fun which is what I am doing now. My brain juices have come alive with ideas and I am pleased that I can focus now on my book 4. If I could this full time, it would be a breeze, but I still like my full time job. It seems I have been designated to be in the service of others. I have been asked at book events if I write about therapy and I always say no. I see the disappointment on their faces. I am also asked if I write about spirituality and again I say no. There are so many books out there about these topics so do they really need me to do it? I love books written by Stephen King and Dean Koontz and remember the first time I introduced myself to their books. Each of the three books I have written have been different from each other. Now in the one I am writing now, I am adding a bit of therapy because I do try to keep my few fans happy. I write for fun however. So, I will try to give you tid bits of my third book on most days while I am on holidays. Once I go back to work however, which is 5 Jan 21, I shall go back to providing you with my study notes. I am of course behind but that is ok. As I record all my notes here in virtual everland, I destroy the paperwork. Please keep safe. Our numbers of COVID are going up and it will increase even more after the holidays. I cannot wait for the vacine and I have to admit if I was a politician I would be trying to get it out as fast as I could 24 hours a day. There would never be a two day vacation depriving anyone of having another loved one die. This has been a time where one person's negligence can cause the death of so many. Yesterday I heard on the news that 1 in every 1000 Americans has died from the virus. So sad. I look at my Disney ornament on my tree and think about my last vacation in the States. None of us expected this virus which would change our lives. Once the vaccine is available to all of us, we will be safer and it won't matter so much if others continue to ignore the seriousness of this disease. For now, I wish you all a Happy New Year. It will be better and soon. What do you think?

The Internet Murders - Order now in soft cover or ebook...........Cosy up by the fireplace and stay inside. www.silvaredigonda.ca

“Ruby sat quietly, waiting for the computer screen to come alive. She could hear the rain tapping on the window by her desk. Leaning forward and looking out, she saw the dark figure leaning against the coffee shop building across the street. She was being watched again, but she felt secure in her warm apartment, though the soft glow of her desk lamp revealed her features to the outside world and the computer screen lit her face. She signed on with her pseudo name, “Hot Babe.” No message tonight. She looked outside again: the ominous figure was gone. There was a rustling sound somewhere in the apartment. It must be the cat, she thought. The outside night seemed distant to her. It was quiet now. She didn’t hear or see anyone approach and then something tightened around her neck, choking her. She gagged. In the struggle she knocked over her computer and lamp, but not before she saw the shadow strangling her, in the reflection of the window. Her eyes widened as she realized that she was dying. She was amazed that it was not painful. No pain; she could not breathe, she thought, as she heard rasping sounds[…]” Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “The Internet Murders.” iBooks.

Am I having Holy Terror for Breakfast?????

Holy Terror likes to jump up at the breakfast table after having her own breakfast, since she and Mr Attitude comes first. Mr Attitude goes back to bed but Holy Terror likes to sit by my computer while I write. Here is my baby girl turning 18 next year. She loves it when I write about her. www.silvaredigonda.ca

A Christmas Tale

I found myself standing alone, as the snow fell gently, Creating a pure white blanket on the asphalt, I was standing on. Looking at the Christmas scene outside St Charles Church, I felt sad that I did not have enough money for Christmas to shop; that I still had to prepare for a four hour exam. As I looked at the empty cradle of Jesus, my sadness increased. “Oh Lord, we have made such a mess of things. Here it is Christmas approaching, and our planet is suffering from global warming, we still fight and kill, in the name of God. The middle class is disappearing and corporations are merging and becoming powerful. The rich are getting richer while our poor are getting poorer. Our governments are deserting us Lord. Please do not give up on us. Please forgive us.” “I am hungry miss?” I turned and found a beggar beside me. I wondered why I had not heard him approaching. He was big framed, with dirty long hair, a fat and heavily pimpled face and a foul smell that not even the cool air could dissipate. His face was so dirty that I could not determine his skin color. His mittens were black and he wore a long woolen brown coat that looked frayed but thankfully warm and he wore heavy worn boots that had seen too many winters. “I am hungry miss.” He repeated with patience. I was holding my submarine sandwich which I had just bought. I had decided to give myself a treat. After all, Christmas was approaching and I deserved something. I had just stopped to admire the Nativity scene. I looked into those sorrowful big brown eyes and saw more sorrow than I could ever bare being reflected back to me. I handed him my submarine and whispered “Merry Christmas.” I didn’t know if wishing him a Merry Christmas was politically correct, but I did not care this evening. I wanted to be free, in my seemingly democratic country to say “Merry Christmas.” What has happened to my city, to my country, to my world? I thought with sadness. I had lowered my head and looked up to see my hobo gone. He had taken my sandwich and I wished him well. I walked back to my old, rusted car in the Church parking lot and unlocked it. There was my submarine sandwich waiting for me. I looked back towards the nativity set and saw the boot prints on the snow from the Nativity area, I had just come from. There was only one set of boot prints this late night that marred the soft blanket of snow.

In the Christmas Spirit - A reflection of the past year and wishing you the best of the holiday season

I have been singing everyday since I have been on vacation. I have one pet “Holy Terror” the star of my two books (one is still incomplete) who hates it when I sing. She even howls for me to stop. My other pet, “Mr Attitude” loves it. He comes running, wants me to hold him and dance as I sing away. My mom used to ask me to sing with her every Christmas whether I was in the mood or not. She would have me sit with her by the fake fire place and sing along to her favourite song, “Silent Night”. Tonight on the tube they are focusing on that song and so I shall watch it for her. Christmas day I have memories of exploring the unknown with my mom. She had the same sense of adventure and throughout the year we would drive and explore the country. Day trips were lots of fun. We spent time with the entire family and I also got away to spend time with friends. Last year several close friends, including a neighbour died. This year I recently lost another close friend of mine due to the complications of COVID 19. However, with all the loss in recent years I have so much joy in my soul. I believe in God and I believe that we move on to heaven or purgatory and I won’t even mention the other hot spot. I think of it as a caterpillar turning into a beautiful butterfly. There are so many mysteries we do not understand. This has been a busy year for me. I have dealt with much suffering from the people I care for in my practice. Because of that I have focused much on my self care. I don’t normally take this much time off at Christmas but COVID has increased the suffering of so many. It has compounded suffering. What has been consistent is the echo of shame and guilt but what has also been consistent is the voice of hope. There are many who have lost their careers and with it their sense of identity. They are grieving but with that some have shown such resiliency in searching for jobs to sustain them during this pandemic. There has been more difficulty with partners and families with polarized views of the pandemic and more disturbances as families have to spend more time together. This Christmas if I may make a suggestion is to focus on what you have. This may be a time to explore what you actually enjoy in life. Try a hobby, try music, try writing, try finding something that moves you. I know that I can live in a castle and I can have the same enjoyment living in a cabin. I love nature and spend a bit of my day looking outside at my trees, birds and squirrels. I spend a bit of each day in prayer, reflection and reading. I love life. I am adjusting to social distancing and have actually in this second wave closed down shop and have done all therapy on-line. I am aware that people do not all social distance or wear masks and may not be honest in revealing this. Safety always needs to be the first consideration. Who knew that my entire practice would be virtual or via telephone. This has also been a time to reflect regarding my future. I would like to spend one year travelling. I can take a Sabbatical and continue working part time while travelling. After all what I need is a computer and a secure site. I just need to check with my college. Of course with my pets it is not possible, however soon they will be both 18 years old. I don’t want any changes for them that will cause stress. They have brought me many years of joy and I intend to care for them properly. I like seeing them happy. They make me laugh each day. I am aware that I have many choices. Which road should I take? The one I wish to take at the moment. In my practice I try to help people achieve their own goals whatever they may want. Sometimes, they don’t know what that looks like. Sometimes they do not know who they are because people have always told them who they are and forced them to be what they wanted for themselves. Why not this Christmas make a decision for what it is you really want for yourself? Whatever, your religious belief is try to think of it has a positive. I hear so much of a punishing God. Think of God has a loving God. What would that look like? Try some soul searching. It is difficult to make choices when feeling overwhelmed and that is the time to step back and refocus. It has also been a year where I have been alerted of some support groups which may be representing themselves. Do your homework and if something doesn’t feel right move on. Dial 211 to find help in determining what you are looking for in mental health. People need to be ready to get help for themselves. Families suffer when there is addiction or mental illness within family members. We need to find happiness and joy in our own lives. This Christmas I wish you and your families a wonderful holiday and positive experience. Look into your soul within your search and not what you own. The best of you is within yourself. Merry Christmas. Silva (http//: silvaredigonda.ca redigondapsychotherapy.com

VACATION VACATION VACATION - Why not buy one of my books for the Holidays - Ask for a signed copy

Wow, it feels great to be on vacation. I wasn't even going to read my emails, but then I remembered that I sell my books and how am I going to sell them if I don't check out who wants one? So, I am glad that I did today. Also, I don't want to return to work and find that I need to spend a week reading all the emails so I am glad that I managed to get on today. However, I am not booking any courses or planning anything that requires me to use my calender. I want to get back to writing my book and stay in the mindset. I will begin tomorrow. If I can write a bit everyday I will be quite pleased. I should start cutting and pasting some for you here as well. Why not. Maybe that will motivate you. I am now with shopify and you can find me at silvaredigonda.ca. I can deliver world wide so there is no excuse if you live in Timbucktoo. I have done all my Christmas shopping and deliveries and so I am good to go. I have been watching Christmas movies til I was able to memorize the format. I actually went grocery shopping and never thought that going shopping for food could be such an event. That my car made it there and back only enhanced my joy. I cannot wait for the vaccine to be available to me and return to things being more normal. For now, I am concluding my day. I will talk to you more often and try a sales pitch. If you have bought all my books, I thank you. If not let your fingers do the walking. Awwwwwww, did I mention I love vacations????? ">

Conquest Joshua 1-6, 24, Joshua 24 and Judges - Theology notes continues

Historical Prolouge Vassel - Subordinate group of people Sovereign - wants to illicit a commitment from the vassel. Look at all the benefits. Look at how there is freedom. Look at benefits received. Positive reasons why should be engaged. What are the stipulations after receiving gifts? Vassels return fugitive slaves. If you are going to be faithful, you must return, another don’t remove markers, paying taxes; oath making promise is made and you have witness. Blessings and curses are associated with it. Some kind of ritual for curses, consumed blessing and curse so when fulfilled treaty - body could carry blessing or curse, body would carry curse. Let me be torn like this broken animal if not kept. We have people of Israel and God being bonded. Priestly - forever - difference is lack of curses. Vassel Treaties - no mediators. Be aware of what is unique in the story. Two rituals - 1. Blood 2. Sacrificial meal (both Sinai Covenant). A vassel never embedded a social God. Is embedded to obey his laws. Joshua and Judges Conquest - Infiltration - Revolt in between period of Sinai Covenant and the question behind this. What is the manner Israel came to have this bond? It is hard to ascertain for there be a lot of from the group of being left behind. We don’t have that. We’re in a period of time. How did Israel come into the land? Conquest- Infiltration - revold. Joshua - linear narrative, shows Joshua receives leadership from Moses. The image of conquest is highlighted in the book of Joshua. Integration - local people joined this group as Israelites. Not too much evidence of revolt. There are three manners of possessing the land. Story of Rahm - spies protected by women. Crossing of Jordon River - begins but not completed. (Richard Hess is a good article to read) (Dever William - Archeology of that time). Deuteronomy - Moses is sent out and spies to check the land - it was good - they had to be purified - Joshua again spies. Killed because polluted the land (with idolatry and injustice). Prime evil justice in Genesis. Motif of wrath of Joshua. To be continue

Domestic Abuse

I have another week to go and then I am taking holidays and back to work 5 Jan 20. I will still be writing but writing in the Christmas Spirit or holiday spirit. I am taking a break from psychotherapy. But today I want to continue with the Conference I attended and will probably add tidbits from other sources. I want to talk about Domestic Violence. Severe violence happens to one in four women. One in seven are men. Severe violence is being struck with a fist, beaten, slammed against. There is physical violence, sexual - forcing sex. Abuse is also emotional - harming self worth or emotional well-being - domination, degradation, constant criticism, continual blaming, isolation, economical (Financial ) control, property damage, jealousy etc… Theoretical - holding sexist attitudes, seeing or being a victim of violence as a child - Having insecure attachment platforms - Not having a job or other events that cause stress. Secondary violence - using drugs or alcohol esp. drinking heavily. Depression and Trauma. Q+A: Usually hit in the face. Couple Therapy - negotiation. Determining if couple therapy is safe/possible. Dr Gunnur Karakurt, Phd. Reporting Issue: not sure of exact number of male victims. Not many seminars for men. They go to Emergency. May not be believed by Police. Few studies - emotional abuse. Male victims did not report separately. Not known what treatment is available for men. So far not really out there, maybe one or two. Health Correlates of Violence: Victims/survivors - PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, substance abuse. Treatment: Domestic violence shelters/educational program supporting victims/survivors. Group therapy: High drop out rate unintentional consequences, evidence minimal on the effectiveness of these interventions. Treatment is focusing on the whole person by improving mental health issues, safety and support. My input. I still owe you about domestic abuse which will eventually come. It is true that there is a focus on battered women and much less of men being abused. As a therapist, I too have been chastised for having an interest in protecting men. However, I have worked with men all my life in an environment that was mostly men and though I have met men who I have little use for even outside of work, whom I have tolerated because they were married to people I like, they have been the minority. I have had wonderful friends who are men and wonderful mentors who are men, mainly because my interests were careers traditionally chosen by men. Times are changing. I have provided psychotherapy for both women and men who have been abused from childhood times to the present. For women who have had different level of abuse from their partners report that psychological abuse was worse than the physical abuse they sustained. They lose their self worth and self esteem and we work to have them regain a truer sense of self. Beautiful women think they are ugly because they have been told so many times. Imagine having life start with sexual abuse as a mere child and have it continue to adult hood with various partners. Can you break the cycle? Yes, but it takes time. There is much to talk about this topic. But not today. Talk soon.

The pandemic, virtual practice education and what do you think?

Time is just flying. I completed one hour with the CRPO regarding How to Expect the Unexpected in on line practice. This is becoming old hat for me since my entire practice has moved on line with a few exceptions, preferring in person is not one of them, during this second wave. I make exceptions for emergency response persons, domestic abuse etc…..At the beginning it was a mad dash to learn everything about this pandemic and on line therapy. I have opened myself to provide help to those living in remote areas etc…..So, though I shall continue to accept invites for tele-health or other terms for on line therapy, it is not with the same starvation. I can dwindle what I think may be repetitive. One thing not mentioned today but was mentioned with the AAMFT conference was to be mindful of spyware from the perps on the computers of their victims/survivors. I do want to mention a few things from an hour talk on 29 Sep 20, York Circle COVID 19 and the Environment, Behaviour Policy Implications for Sustainability. The talk was from Dr Mark Winfield, Faculty of Environmental and Urban Change. Does anyone actually think of benefits from COVID? Dr Winfield stated that there has been a 15% to 20% global reduction of emissions, air quality improvements. There is a vulnerability of global supply chains - no domestic availability. We did have manufacturing abilities. Gov’t responses - two discoveries - a return to normal vs building back better. Exodus from urban core to suburbs and exurbia. Is this temporary or a long term trend? There was an 80% reduction of TTC (I haven’t taken the TTC during the pandemic even though my car is dying). Regarding the European union - moving investments into climate change. This was an opportunity to move forward in this pandemic. There was a dismantling of any protection by this provincial government for the environment here which was put in place during 1975 - all dismantled. I found this so disappointing. Remember when I wrote that global warming is more abstract than this pandemic? Keep that in mind. I am so looking forward to the vaccine. I am not a recluse but have been living like one trying to protect mine and me. I would like you to take a moment and think about how the Pandemic has changed you? Have you been reflecting about things that you disregarded before? Have you changed because of it? I want to wish you my best. Take care and if you want to read one of my fluff books you can order at http://www.silvaredigonda.ca Take care.