Conference, November 3, 2018 Person of the Therapist

Saturday I was at a conference for the Ontario Association of Family Therapists. I have been with this group since I began as a student. As you know I also belong to the American Association of Family Therapists. To continue with my title of Registered Marriage and Family Therapists I need to belong to the Canadian Association of Registered Marriage and Family Therapists who have divorced from the American Association of Family Therapy. Are you confused yet? I am a clinical fellow. So, moving forward I will drop the Ontario Association of Family Therapists by not renewing next year. I informed one member of the board I was leaving because it can be very expensive belonging to all these associations. If you have caught up reading all my blogs, you would know that I dropped my title of Pastoral Counsellor, Specialist, for two reasons, but mainly one. The name of Pastoral Counsellor has changed and I cannot call myself a Psycho Spiritual therapist. It was causing too much confusion. I was mistaken for a spiritualist as in fortune tellers etc…..It was quite awful and though it may be working for people working in hospitals, it certainly was not working for me. I am not a fortune teller. I do not read minds. I do not consult with the dead, etc………..I am a Registered Psychotherapist in Ontario and am regulated. Many provinces are not regulated and be mindful of that if you assume we are all one and the same. The college exists to ensure that the public is protected. We are moving towards change and I am in agreement with that. I would like to see more consistency among all colleges without one being more difficult than the other, including the medical profession. I think we should all have a high standard of ethics without exception. I think that because we have an enormous responsibility to people who come into our care. So, I shall continue to be a clinical fellow with the Americans (AAMFT) I will be dropping Ontario (OAMFT) next year because it will no longer be relevant for me due to the changes and keeping in mind my budget. I will continue to be a member of the Canadian Association (CAMFT) because that will be required to maintain my status as RMFT. I will continue as an associate with CASC because I do not have the heart to drop them since I know so many people there. I can also keep up with what is happening in hospitals with chaplains. I was wondering why an email went out cautioning therapists not to refer to themselves as Registered Marriage and Family Therapists when they are not, but now I know it is because they have opened the doors to other practitioners who began referring to themselves as such. Catching on? It is important that you know if you are a therapist, what kind of therapist you are and it is also important for the public to know that they are seeing who they think they should be seeing. I see individuals, couples and families and am qualified to do so. My degrees and some certificates are on the wall. I have a drawer full of other certificates that if I put on the wall it would probably overwhelm people and it is not necessary. When I walk into an office and see only one day seminar certificates I pause. Now, some time ago there was a program indicating how much of a scam there is with people practising or teaching at colleges with degrees they purchased on line. I am so happy they got caught even though one teaching at a college was not fired. That I found very disturbing. Look up to see if the certificates or degrees exist. Dr John, may not be Dr John at all. Anyhow, the speaker of the conference is Dr Harry Apponte, HPhd, MSW, LCSW, LMFT, a family therapist, spirituality in therapy, etc…….He is presently a clinical associate professor in the Couple and Family therapy program of Drexel University in Philadelphia. I did not buy a book this time because it appears I learned what he was teaching in how to form a therapist. However, his book is “The Person of the Therapist Training model, Mastering of the Self, Edited by Harry J. Aponte and Karni Kissil. He reminded me of my own Supervisor, Dr Beech who ran the programs I studied in a very similar way. I have a degree of psychology from York University and a Masters of Ministry and Spirituality from Regis College at the University of Toronto. I also have another three years years of Pastoral Counselling from the Toronto School of Theology, University of Toronto, which I squeezed as much as I could in not to make it four years. It all cost me lots of money. Education is expensive however, don’t let that discourage you. In this time of age, it is more important than it was in the past. There are many who cannot proceed with an education. They have the funds but not the determination or ability and that is ok. Then there are others, who are brilliant but who do not have the funds or able to do so because they need to take care of their families. However, if you can and if it is only one course at a time do so. There are amazing professors out there and then there are others who enjoying watching students fail. As far as I am concerned they should not be teaching. They may have knowledge, but they may not have much compassion. I never heard of Dr Harry Aponte, but I could not help but like him. I believe he was born in Peurto Rica. He was raised in black Harlem. He was poor. As an intern he was assigned to go in a white, rich area where movie stars reign (my language; not his). He felt he had nothing in common and I heard some struggle in this but eventually he saw them as fellow humans. I learned that as a teenager taking swimming lessons. “Whom ever you see in distress, recognize in him a fellow man.” Dr Aponte talked about the importance of self knowledge and about transference and countertransference but not in those words necessarily. One woman who practiced for 54 years informed me that her clients have all been physicians. I remember another advertising for lawyers. I pondered over this specific selection of clients. How does one broaden their knowledge and range if who they see is so specific? Of course this means big bucks. How do we care for all? Also this is not quite ethical but if the fee is 400 hr a session, who else could afford it? I believe my education and training has been quite intensive. I charge a particular fee of 130. a fifty minute session. I went through a stage where I wanted to spend half a day with the poor at another location but as a white straight woman, my services have been rejected. As I mention this to some therapists, I am informed that I should understand. Of course I understand how my appearance which has served me well, will cause concern for certain groups, but is that not what self awareness is all about? When does personal biases and past history effect the best care and needs for your clients? It is so important to work on the personal affect because it can get in the way of being a good therapist. If emotions are being evoked of what a therapist is suffering, when with a client, can she or he, be fully present to their client? How much of that gets in the way for helping the client. There are enough services in Toronto for people who cannot afford to pay. They are always looking for clients as well, since they are funded. I know that now. Dr Aponte stated that therapists are not receiving the care that they need to become the best in the U.S.A, because of money. A woman in the audience states it is the same here. I wonder about her response. I think it is getting better here. Everyone is now regulated and if caught without being so is in trouble. That is a movement towards progress. As for quality of one who is qualified? I think we are doing ok. Therapists who are not qualified are being filtered out. There is no such thing as perfection. We are only human. I know that for the first five years or so, I so worried about causing harm. I am now confident as a therapist which can be very isolating. I have and have had a variety of clients from all walks of life, rich and poor, religious, spiritual and atheists, educated, non educated, people abused from partners either male, or female. Adults who were abused as children in ways that are not imaginable. People who were tortured and raped because of their religion and people who were tortured because of war. People who suffer grief, either through abortion, having a child killed or loss of a parent etc….. Living in Toronto, I have the opportunity and gift to serve all people regardless of religion, class, colour and race, opportunity and lack of. As a therapist I need to really know myself and to be focused on self care and ensure that my personal life is a healthy and happy one. That can take years for a therapist to achieve and if money is a problem and the forming of a therapist is not developed, than there can be a problem. I did enjoy Dr Aponte’s lecture. I think his students are lucky to have him as I was lucky to have all the mentors I have had such as Dr Beech who instructed me and supervised me and Fr Bill German, a Jesuit, who ensured I was on the straight and narrow. My own personal growth is as important to me as ever. In closing if you are a therapist, I hope this has helped. If you are looking for a therapist, I also hope this has helped. I have one more conference to go to, and I have a few plays to go see this month and a book selling and signing at York University (I only write for fun). This is a busy month working and having lots of fun. I shall keep you briefed. My next blog will probably be about the next conference I shall be attending shortly. Take care of yourself and know what your limits are and how much self care you need. Are you pleased with the life you are leading? Are you suffering? Why not take the time to make some needed changes in your life? Take time to go for a walk and be with nature. Read a book. Watch a movie. Listen to the laughter of children. What is triggered in you? What do you think?