A moment with a veteran

It has been busy. Too busy. However, now I can slow down. I have attended at least three conferences, education days etc….revolving around the person of the therapist, ethics etc….I have been to functions and was even a clown at the Christmas parade. When I got a call for another function, this weekend, too tired, I had to decline. Play hard and work hard has its moments and too much fun can be exhausting as well. So, it is time to refocus and R&R. I have been thinking of my horror story which I have spent more time on thinking, than any other book I have written. Normally I have a thought and just write. However, this is a scary story and in the Christmas spirit which is my favourite time, it is difficult to think of horror. Or is it? There is much sadness during the holidays for too many. I will figure it out. Yesterday I had a day off for a bit of fun and other stuff so after an appointment, I decided to have breakfast at Tim Horton’s, prior to my next function. I normally prefer to make my own breakfast because I buy free range eggs which are bigger and healthier looking. It also tastes fresher. That is just me. I brought my Dean Koontz, The Silent Corner with me to read. I am almost three quarters finished, and read portions whenever I just want to read for fun. Dean Koontz is one of my favourite writers. After one book, I was hooked. So, I get my order, ask the server to clean my table, which I never had to do in the past. Tim’s was always clean. I sit, open my bag of an egg and cheese on a tea biscuit with hash brown and my enormous coffee which they call medium. I begin to eat and then while sipping my coffee, I open my book and begin to read. I become fully immersed, oblivious to the full coffee shop. I have read for about ten minutes, no longer noticing that I am turning pages when I hear a man with a loud and anxious voice asking who is the vet. It distracts me, partially thinking that the man is looking for a veterinarian since there is an animal hospital near by. I don’t look up as I am really enjoying my moments with Dean Koontz. Again the man bellows who the vet is and talks about the make of my car with my IV plates. He gets my attention. I am wondering how my car got into trouble without me in it. I feel my heart pacing, from the tranquility I was feeling, reading about a woman, bad guys want to kill as she tries to find answers of who killed her husband. I look up towards the voice and see the anxious tall man, looking at me. I wonder how he knows, as I say “I am.” He tells me he served for ten years and where. He asks me and I tell him, how many years I served outside my country. He continues with which regiment he served and now it is my turn, and I comply. He then tells me his occupation now and wants to know if I am doing anything. I reply that I am a psychotherapist. He is standing in the middle of the coffee shop while I am sitting by the window. He found me. He wanted a moment with a fellow veteran in a city which he travels to work but does not live in. The commute seems incredible to me and I wonder how often he gets to go home. There is no time. He came in to get a coffee to go, but he also had a need to know who the veteran was because that is the connection. That is the recognition of one knowing another by shared experiences. He leaves and I return to my reading. I continue to wonder how he knew it was me. I look around the coffee shop and believe there could have been others who were veterans, but he knew. One woman almost turned around to look at us, but stopped herself. All others seemed as oblivious as I had been earlier. It was a special moment. I too have approached other veterans but a tad more subtle. I ponder how when there is education of therapy in how to deal with the veteran the focus is the mindset of the military culture. I know that there are some trying to reach out and wonder of the effectiveness. Treating veterans as a strange specie is not the answer. I haven’t seen that with any other group. If I was wealthy I would have a place where veterans and emergency persons could go and only be surrounded by others who are the same and are now therapists etc…. It would be a safe place where one can find opportunities for therapies, including group therapies, help with resumes, or any other supportive requests. I think of the homeless veterans who do not identify themselves as such because of shame. They are proud. They need a place to be where they can re-adjust and feel valued by being with their own. It would have a recreation area, a library, a fire place and a few cots to sleep or rest. It would have a cinema room, a pool table, a dart area. It would be alcohol free and that would need to be enforced. No others would be allowed except for special functions or open houses. However, there would be a coffee shop adjacent to it where one could bring their loved ones and there would also be a space for couple and family therapy adjacent to that coffee place. Why don’t we have this? What do you think? www.silvaredigonda.com www.redigondapsychotherapy.com