Christmas spirit lingering

I have been on a roll with family and friends. Aside from scheduled appointments and emergencies, I am on vacation for the rest of the week. I hope you all are enjoying yourselves. This is a time for reflection and finding pleasure in the things that are important to you. It is also a time to reach out for those who may be less fortunate. Next week I will be back in business, writing for you. Happy Holidays and best wishes for the New Year.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays

I want to thank you for reading my blogs. As I mentioned before for those of you who have read my blogs for sometime, I am here because years ago before my private practice, I was informed at a seminar by a Communications Expert from Washington, that if we as therapists were not on the internet, we would be out of business in ten years. I took that seriously. In all my studies, business was never implemented. In a private practice, I have learned that to reach out to people, I needed to explore the business world. Hopefully, mental health will be covered by OHIP one day soon. That is my wish. There is still a stigma regarding getting help and there should not be. Mental health is just as important as physical health. A person's entire self needs to be taken care of. If you can not afford care, there are many charity organizations that do help according to your affordability. A psychiatrist is also at no cost, since she or he is a medical doctor with three years of psychology (at my last count). I wish you a wonderful season full of joy and peace. There is a lot of bad news internationally this season, but I am also mindful of how that only unites us globally. Be kind to someone this season and I do hope you find joy in this amazing world. Merry Christmas Silva

Silva Redigonda, Registered Psychotherapist/Registered Marriage and Family Therapist plus: A Christmas Tale (published)

Silva Redigonda, Registered Psychotherapist/Registered Marriage and Family Therapist plus: A Christmas Tale (published): I found myself standing alone, as the snow fell gently, Creating a pure white blanket on the asphalt, I was standing on. Looking at the Chr...

THE CLASSICAL AND MODERN WORLD VIEWS - Theology (one of my papers )

THE CLASSICAL AND MODERN WORLD VIEWS The classical world view is a view that is cosmic centered and static. The modern world is dynamic. There is a foundational shift from one world view to another. This paper will provide the world view of the Classical and Modern world and explain why there is a shift from one to another. What will also be explained is how these worlds are present in my image of God, spirituality, prayer, theology, ministry and in my ways of living, feeling and interpretation. Static World vs Dynamic If a juggler has three balls it is important that they are each of equivalent weight. If not, the balance is affected and the balls fall. Think of three balls as one being the world, one being God, and the other being humanity. In theology one may understand our evolving state by utilizing this concept. We live in a developing universe. There was a time of nature gods, there was a mythology, but not a history and therefore a divine purpose could not be declared. By the time Christianity appeared, the Roman world would have been entirely familiar with the thought that the universe might have gradually come to be as it is. The biblical writers showed little if any interest in a causal explanation of natural process. The Greeks however were fascinated by it. Greek natural science attained its height with Aristotle. He created whole fields such as physics, theoretical astronomy, logic and biology. Aristotle foreshadowed evolution, "we should venture on the study of every kind of animal without distaste, for each and all will reveal to us something natural…Nature's works exemplify…the conduciveness of everything to an end, and the resultant end of Nature's generations is a form of the beautiful." (McMullin, p22) St Augustine (5th century) stated that if there is a conflict between a literal reading of Scripture and a well-established truth about nature, this is sufficient reason to take the scriptural passage metaphorically. There cannot be a contradiction between nature and Scripture since God speaks to both. In the mid 1200s, the natural science taught in universities, including theology students, was that of Aristotle (McMullin, p 27). Aristotelian cosmology and Christian theology were merged to form the medieval picture of the universe. Earth was the fixed central sphere surrounded by the spheres of the heavens. Man was unique and central in location and importance. This view would soon be challenged by science. Galileo (1564-1642) combined mathematical reasoning and experimental observation. Galileo formulated a new picture of nature, that as nature in motion. Galileo called mass and velocity, primary qualities. Galileo was a devout Catholic and found no conflict between his scientific and religious beliefs. He upheld the importance of scripture but claimed that it reveals not scientific facts but spiritual knowledge for man's salvation, truths that are above reason and could not be discovered by observation. Galileo put nature and scripture on the same level as avenues of God (Barbour, pp 23-30). In the year 1616, the Holy Office declared that the sun is the center of the universe, and consequently does not change place and that the earth is not the center of the universe and is not motionless, but is in motion as a whole and its daily rotation. We know with absolute physical certainty, that the stellar universe is not centred on the earth, and that terrestrial life is not centred on mankind Newton (1642-1727) invented calculus but he was also an ingenious experimenter in mechanics and optics. Newton's law of motion and gravity, a novel insight, was the idea that the earth's gravitational pull might extend to the moon. Newton believed and found time for God and the human spirit (Barbour, pp 34-37). The eighteenth century saw itself as the Age of Reason (Barbour, p57). Charles Darwin and the Church Darwin spent twenty-five years studying in detail the breeding of domestic animals, such as dogs where new breeds would be produced that never existed before from greyhound, to St. Bernard to Chihuahua. Here was evolution with human choice replacing natural survival. Darwin studied problems as diverse as hybridization of plants, comparative structure of embryos and the geographical distribution of animal and plant forms, both living and extinct. The range and magnitude of information he brought into correlation with his theory is staggering. After all this research, he published Origin of Species in 1859 (Barbour,p 86). By the close of the century, the fact of evolution was accepted by virtually all scientists, and by the vast majority of theologians. In 1951, an address of Pope Pius X11 cited with approval the views of several astronomers that the universe had a beginning in time. In general, it is maintained that the creation of both the universe and the first man and woman were historical events, but that the biblical portrayal of these events is figurative (Barbour p 374). The shift from the Classical World to the Modern World was altered by science. The weight of the juggling balls required to be balanced. What was once considered a static world where angels held the earth in place shifted because science provided a new reality that could not be dismissed. This view eventually was accepted by the Catholic Church, thus altering the theology of the Church. Our world is dynamic and evolving. This shift is also seen as a shift from God-centered to man-centered. I believe that world views is a transcendence, a process, that of evolving towards God. This is achieved by keeping the juggling of the balls balanced. The classical and Modern World views are present in my image of God, spirituality, prayer, theology, ministry and the way I live feel and interpret. Spirituality My view of God is not of an old man with a cane often projected by the Classical world which continues to persist. I believe that God is beyond my comprehension. God is neither man nor woman but so much more. God is all good which I sense in the beauty of creation and in my relationship with God. I do not fear God, as is common and was promoted in the Classical World. I cannot fear goodness. I certainly cannot fear anyone or anything close to my heart. However, I do fear evil. I believe that God is everywhere. In the Classical world it was common to believe that God dwelled in the heavens and demons were beneath the earth. I believe that demons are very much a part of our lives. I see this by living in the modern world. The classical World cannot be dismissed. Jesus came to us in the Classical world. Jesus came to us as God and teacher preparing us for future world-views. I also recognize evil transcending into the modern world. Spirituality requires careful examination. What is ethical in Modern society? Was it more ethical in the Classical world? Was it more spiritual? I say naught. Can ethics be separated from spirituality and prayer in our way of living, feeling and interpretation? Can it be separated from our ministry? Again I say no. Christian Spirituality and Theological Ethics defines ethics as “the critical of morality, namely, the direct, lived experience of human values and obligations. Ethics stands to morality as theology stands to spirituality, the lived experience of faith.” During the evening news, I watched in amazement as “500 tons of oranges” were being used in a “massive orange fight” [playful] for a medieval re-enactment of a revolt against a local tyrant in northern Italy. My thoughts went to the people of Haiti who had suffered so much from an earthquake and where there was an outpouring of love with support of medical care, food, and money to rebuild their country. My thoughts continued to sweep across the poor in Canada and the poor in the States and the poor in the rest of the world. I thought of the millions of people, more often women and sadly children who die from malnutrition and starvation. I saw all this as I viewed the vivid, colorful, images of hundreds of crates of oranges to be used in a mock fight. My spirit cried. This is the culture of our modern world. There is a shift arising because this tears at the hearts of men and women. A balance of the balls is required. Berry professes that “the first thing we must begin to teach our children (and learn ourselves) is that we cannot spend and consume endlessly. We have to save and conserve….An economy based on waste is inherently and hopelessly violent…” Where is compassion? “Compassion…helps us recognize what the suffering need and inclines us to meet that need.”(Spohn, p 275). Poverty was prevalent in the Classical World but now there is an expectation, that we should know better. Technology permits us to view the world from our living rooms. The ease of travel permits us to live among others and return home at a moment’s notice. Then why are we not balanced? Spohn states that” …emotions can be educated. They are not blind instinctual reactions but learned behaviors” (Spohn, p 277). Therefore, in my spirituality, when I viewed the news and felt the emotions I was feeling, others may not, since they have learned differently from myself. This is also encouraging because it reveals that there is hope for the future through learning. Pope John Paul II visualized a renewal of conscience, “…in the last few decades some consoling signs of a reawakening of conscience have appeared: both among intellectuals and in public opinion itself.” This is also the stirrings of another shift to come for humanity. Berry states that “we accept uncritically the belief that technology is only good; that it cannot serve evil as well as good; that it cannot serve our enemies as well as ourselves; that it cannot be used to destroy what is good, including our homelands and our lives.”(Berry, p 1). Life seems to offer polar extremes. There is good and there is evil. There is positive and there is negative. There is light and there is night. There is life and there is death. There is God and there is Satan. Some like to choose a particular extreme. Other’s like to look at both sides and still others pick a point in the middle. “There is no need to seek Truth; only stop having views…The ultimate truth about both Extremes is that they are One Emptiness..Whether we see it or fail to see it, it is manifest always and everywhere… Prayer I consider prayer powerful. For me prayer is a blanket which provides me with warmth and protection from cold and evil. Prayer connects me directly to God. Prayer engulfs me with grace. Prayer does this for me and so much more. Prayer is my protection. Jesus taught us prayer and Jesus taught us forgiveness. Prayer is being removed from our schools and government. Spohn speaks of prayer which is my prayer, “when rightly done, liturgical prayer has significant moral consequences…Expressed in prayer and interpreted through preaching, ritual should help the congregation realize what God is empowering and requiring them to become. The complex affections shaped by Holy week ought to leave believers to take a definite moral stance toward their own culture and world ” (Spohn, p 280). This is another example of world views transcending into our modern time. The key words “when rightly done” is important because such harm can be harvested when it is not done right. Fundamentalists waving their bibles quoting the bible verbatim regarding hate can be used as an example. My spiritual director, as well as my studies have convinced me that reading the bible literally can be quite destructive. Interpretation through preaching is imperative in how we interpret the bible as we relate to others. And how is the community being effected by religion? “An estimated 20 % of adult Americans pursue spiritual experiences apart from organized religion…When, (however) spiritual pursuits are extracted from a community context of interpretation, they can easily become superficial or distorted” (Spohn, p281). This superficialness and distortion may also arise from religions which causes a person to seek spirituality elsewhere. What is positive is that there is a revival of spirituality and I argue that the spirituality renewal is a search for God in a quest for balance, another shift in perceptions and another world view. “In every era, Christian spiritualities mediate between religious tradition and the needs and challenges of a particular society” (Spohn, p 283) Ministry In my ministry I want to be a non-judgmental presence for people who come to me for counseling. People have come to me unhappy, discouraged, frustrated and confused about their relationship with others. Most need only to have their stories told in a safe, controlled environment. All have needed their feelings to be validated. I am preparing for my ministry which is a continuous transformation. I am in a position where I can take the time to study, think, read and pray. I have the opportunity to pause. I have choices as we all do to sink into a world of negativity or to look at the options and do something good even if it is a small step. In our modern world most must focus on so many things in urban society that the self is lost in the process. But I also believe that we are living in an amazing time with endless opportunities. Of course we are also living in a dangerous time. Wars kill more people, exploiting our planet has caused global warming, our rainforests are recklessly being stripped robbing us of medicinal opportunities. We are as a people in trouble. Regardless of our scientific discoveries that continue to expand along with our technical and medical knowledge, we are still allowing people to starve in major portions of the world while we exploit our world in others. Hopefully we can continue to evolve intellectually as well as spiritually without destroying each other or our planet with our tampering. There is an end for all of us including our universe. As Catholics we should take our faith seriously, try to do something good for others and our world, even if it is in a small way. We need to understand the changes we are introduced to in science, economics and politics because we need to understand our faith in the context of a changing world. We need to maintain the balance of the three balls, of humanity, God and the world. We depend on our Catholic leaders to educate us, to enlighten us and to help us with our faith. We depend on our leaders to help us to help others. We depend on our leaders to guide us, nurture us and to help us understand God in our changing world. In June 1988, in a message to a group of scientists and theologians, Pope John Paul 11 urged scientists and theologians to come to understand each other for their mutual benefit. Pope John Paul said, "Science can purify religion from error and superstition. Religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes."(Korsmeyer, p20) Bibliography Barbour, Ian G. Issues in Science and Religion. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall, 1966. CTV news, Toronto, Ont. 1800 hrs. 15 Feb 2010. Korsmeyer, Jerry. Evolution and Eden. New York: Paulist, 1998. Spohn, William. Ed. Holder, Arthur. The Blackwell Companion to Christian Spirituality. “Christian Spirituality and Theological Ethics”, Massachusetts: Black, 2005. McMullin, Ernan. Ed. Evolution and Creation. Notre Dame: University of Notre Dame Press, 1985. Novak, Philip. The World's Wisdom. New York: HarperCollins, 1994. Teilhard de Chardin. Christianity and Evolution. New York: Harcourt Brace Jamanovich, Inc. 1971. Vatican Translation. Letter To Families From John Paul 11. Sherbrooke: Paulines, 1994. Wildiers, N.M. The Theologian And His Universe. New York: Seabury, 1982. Windell, Berry. “Thoughts in the Presence of Fear.” Orion, Autumn 2001, www.orionmagazine.org/index.php/articles/article/214.

Thank you, USA

It appears an American in the West Coast, read a Canadian blog regarding a teen who was going to go to a local high school and hurt people. The American called the Police and reported it. Subsequently, the police traced the blog back to the computer at the high school and the teen was arrested and Oakwood Collegiate was spared of suffering. I want to thank you. The States is our closest neighbour and friend. I was listening to the Vice President speak so wonderfully at the Ottawa dinner (on the news). He said that the States is like a big brother to us. I agree. I have always felt a kinship to the States. I grew up loving American televison and tolerating Canadian television and avoiding English all together. I remember a time when kids knew who the president was and assumed he was the prime minister. Television has improved and now I like Canadian television as well. I am still stuggling with the Brits, though I like, "Murder in Paradise." So thank you America for looking out for us. There was also a fire in the Niagara falls area and apparently the Americans saw it and were first to arrive. I believe they were on the river. I found it amusing that Americans could respond prior to the Canadians. However, we are friends as well as neighbours, so thank you.

Suicide

Well I finished a two day workshop of sorts for suicide prevention, intervention and post- vention strategies. I have had my fair exposure to suicide prior to even being a therapist and mostly having to do with work. I became a therapist because I wanted to understand human behaviour and I now do, but it does not mean that I don’t get mad. Every year when I go to confession, it is the same. I have no patience. I like to go to someone I know, so it is quick, and easy (painless). That does not mean that I do not try to be more patient. That means, I like my own style of confession. For the last few months I have been attending every conference, seminar, workshop that I have been invited to. I have also taken two outside my own disciplines for 4 days, as well as attending many more several hour information sessions regarding elder abuse, fraud etc…….Knowledge is important to me. If I could find a part time PHD level to enter right now, I would. I do not believe in wasting time getting more than one BA or MA when I can advance to the next level and the next level is a PHD or equivalent. I have been dealing with the topic of suicide more so since starting my practice. I did learn on this two day course, but I also knew most of it. However, I also learn from everyone else and that is why I love actually going to school. I have taken only two courses on the internet, one being an elective in undergrad. Whenever I needed a break from psychology I would take an English course. That would clear my head. I still love to read and write for fun and I must admit, I contemplate retiring again and just writing books. However, I take a long time to make important decisions, weighing all my options. I have two passions. I love to help people and have been doing so in all my careers and I love to write stories. I have still to finish my third book which is annoying but I think the next ones after that will be about therapy and one about theology or pastoral. I have lots of ideas to write but for somethings like this third book, I just need to be left alone for two weeks to bring all my plots together and that is not possible right now. However, I will make it a priority as soon as I catch up, once again. Don’t get me wrong. Self care for me is a priority and I ensure I have lots of fun in my life and do things I like with people I like. I suggest you make that a priority too. You cannot help others, if you cannot care for yourself. Now for some tidbits from my manual, Suicide Prevention, Intervention & Postventions Strategies, 2015. P 5. Approximately one million people kill themselves worldwide each year = one suicide every 40 seconds. It is presumed that this is much higher because “in most countries many suicide death statistics are hidden in undetermined injury reports.” In Canada, my beautiful country, about 3,700 people commit suicide annually, approximately 10 people a day. In some psychology courses I have learned that in Canada, though more women try to kill themselves, elderly men are the highest among anyone to commit suicide. I may have written about that in earlier blogs or some are yet to come. I can’t retire until all my notes are out there as well as a few therapy books of one kind or other. The college likes that kind of stuff. Looks like I should be teaching too. They like that kind of stuff too. I actually like teaching - on my to do. I think it is important to reach out to the average person. That’s enough about the two day session course. Now I would like to talk to those of you who want or are thinking of committing suicide. Please don’t do it. You may think no one cares but I see so many people out there volunteering at crises centres, starting various charities etc…because they care about regular people just like you. There are those on the internet who have encouraged young people to commit suicide and that is where I have a problem with patience, because that really gets me mad. December is a wonderful time for many. It is my favourite holiday. I say Merry Christmas to everyone unless I know that someone hates Christmas or finds it offensive. I embrace all religions and if I know that there is a festive season for another, I will wish them a good or happy this or that as it pertains to them, because quite frankly if there is a reason to celebrate, I celebrate. I really love Christmas and this is the time of the year that I make time for everyone in my life, I may have been neglecting because of one thing or another. But as much as I realize how much I love Christmas and what it means to me, I know that there are others who are so sad and feeling hopeless at this time of the year. I cannot fathom how much sadness some people experience but I can empathize. In my previous working life while in a car or walking, I always talked to people and always found a teen or two who was suffering. It is amazing how effective being there for someone is. Normally I would recommend they talk to a professional and some tried but they didn’t like the therapist, or felt that the therapist was only learning etc….. If you are one of those people needing help and felt it did not help you in the past, don’t give up. In almost every community there are charity organizations to help you, if you cannot afford to pay for it. First and foremost I recommend a person who is actually qualified to help you. I am amazed at how many people provide psychotherapy and are not qualified to do so and I am dancing circles that it will be controlled, at least here in Ontario. In Ontario you must have at least a Masters, and belong to a college. Masters is the bare minimum, not including all the additional schooling within the field of choice and endless practimums (my opinion). A psychiatrist is a medical doctor with about 3 years of psychology. Then there are psychologists, social workers and now Registered Psychotherapists. The person you should be seeing must belong to a college for the work that they do. There is a certain amount of education, ethics and various criteria to remain. Education is a constant. There are people out there making lots of money for something they are not qualified to do. Be careful. Check them out. Take a look at their certificate and look up the college and find their name. If the person states that they belong to the college and do not, feel free to report them. This made me mad in undergrad to learn that anyone could hang up a shingle and say they were a therapist. Those days are slowly coming to an end and now they either have to go back to school or stop. My question is why not want to be qualified for what you do? Can you imagine a medical doctor practising without credentials? I am sure that has happened? Would you accept, “Well I have been doing it for 20 years.” Dahhhhh!!!??? In the old days, if you had therapy yourself, apparently you could have provided it yourself. I had to shake my head, when I heard that. So, please see someone who is qualified to help you. Even if the person is qualified, but there is a lack of comfort with the person, see someone else. When my wonderful physician retired, I went to interview about three before I found someone I liked going to. Now they thought they were interviewing me, but it works both ways. No therapist should have a problem with you leaving them, if they are not a good fit, for you. I would prefer anyone not feeling comfortable with me, to just keep going to someone else until they find that someone they consider a good fit for them. There are many support groups and crises lines available. You can look it up on line, in the phone book, at a community resource etc…….Be careful with who you meet on line. You do not know who they are. Too many hide behind false images. Don’t be impressed by what these people tell you. They may be predators. I do not believe in lost causes. I believe that anyone no matter what they have suffered can re-discover a purpose to live again. Sometimes, you can be so consumed with hopelessness, and you become so immersed, that you cannot find a hand that may be reaching out to you. If you are a student who is failing or you are not getting the mark you want, regardless of your culture, there can still be a wonderful productive way of growth. If you are suffering any kind of abuse, report it and if that person does not help you, go to someone else. Pick up the phone, tell a trusted friend. No one has the right to make you feel less than you are and no one is better than you. They make think it, but really, that is their problem, and do not let it become yours. Teachers, do not allow bullying at school for any reason. I must admit that I am stunned that it still happens. Children and teens need to be protected. If you are victimized by anyone, either physically, emotionally, sexually etc…report it and get help. Don’t fall for it being your fault or that your family will be killed. Regardless, of what you may be told of the police, they can help you. If you are in an abusive relationship and want out, begin an escape plan. There are shelters and resources to help you. Why not take some time this Christmas season to look at your life and decide for yourself that you do deserve better, even if you feel from having had a horrible life and being convinced of the opposite. No parent owns you. They are liable. Please take that one step to get help and take it as slow as you need to. Life is so precious and we can do so much. Why not take your own stand today. Now, close your eyes and take yourself somewhere that makes you happy. What do you hear, feel and with your eyes closed what do you see? Take a few moments to be aware of your breathing. Breathe in through your nose and get all that awfulness within you out through your mouth. Breathe in deeply via your nose and exhale completely through your mouth. When you are ready, bathe yourself in peacefulness and then take a moment to think about what you really want in life. You can find a way to it, if you want. It may not be easy but it is possible. What do you think?

Emotions - psych notes continuation from (cognition)

Emotions function completely different from cognition that we discussed last. Cognition in it’s purest sense is logical thinking. Emotions takes the stimulus and either amplifies it or de-amplifies it. You don’t have the 1 to 1 correspondence. Eg. Someone smashed my fender. I can rant and rave and the unfairness of the world. Or, 2, I will look at what it will cost, about $1000. to repair. 50 h x 20= to pay - won’t gain by wasting energy so will repair. Latter process is a more rational approach. What happened? How will I deal with it? This is the difference. This is idealized because even when we think we are being rational and calm, there is some colouring of emotion. There are six basic emotions. Fear Anger sadness disgust surprise happiness There are three colour receptors in the eye; same concept as six emotions. If you look at any diagnose, you will find that one or another of these systems is out of wack - way to easy too activate or way too hard to activate. I will write about “fear system” which will activate far to easy. Think, do we go on which system is too high or too low? Eg. Schizophrenia - which is a thought disorder. (I just watched a program last night about marijuana testing which depicted the usage and brain study to be the same of that as schizophrenia. I believe it was 20/20 or the fifth estate. The study was conducted in the States, as marijuana use is still not legal here. I am glad that they are releasing studies that can show how destructive marijuana can be for a developing brain, since I see the negative effects of it in my private practice. Back to my notes now). There is also a problem in emotional regulation. It get’s in the way of what they may be able to do. Anti-social - too little fear. This is framework to categorize and understand mental disorder - not the whole. Cognition is not only in processing - also issue of what part of experience goes into these emotional bins. eg. flashing lights in class - not auditory just sights. There is something a bit different for each bin of the six. There is an intermingling of emotions and cognition and you find in each culture abnormal, if have a cognition in an emotional bin that does not belong there. Eg. laughing at a funeral - that is abnormal behaviour (not necessarily disorder). At biological level these systems can be too finely tuned - eg. people prone to depression - anything happening in the world can be awful at other end. Is that not wonderful? Always can find a positive. Both may be found as strange. Not called fear disorders but anxiety disorders. Question: How does this come to be? It is a blue print. There are different perceptions. There is a general overview: Biological : Fear processed in part of brain called Amygdala (if fear centre is activated, feels fear, if not does not. Neurotransmitter is involved in regulating. This is called GABA, an inhibiting transmitter. Normally, GABA functions as a gate. When something is extremely intense, eg. only person walks into class and big guy comes in. I may start to feel threatened - magnitude of stimulus, that makes me uneasy. I’m getting a few more impulses coming in. If man shouts, experience more fear. Also if exposed to extremely loud noise, even if benign. For example, jet engine - fear because not enough inhibition at the centre. This is biological level. What happens if a person has only 1/2 GABA as rest of us. They have a lower threshold to experience fear. One quantum alone may exhibit fear - not nearly as much fear to experience. to be continued…….. (this is one notebook completed from Abnormal Psychology). I hope some of this information is useful to you.) Next week back to theology)

Theology notes Cont: New Testament continue

Pharisees - oral law to interpret written law. Jews - what do we do? Christians what do you believe died before creed “ through kingdom come as it is in heaven”. What do you do, not what you believe. Midrash - how to interpret the law. Honour mother and father, hospitality to travellers, visit the sick. Could serve God wherever you are. Each person has a priestly role. If everyone did their own thing, then would wipe away vocation of the people. Therefore, persons in community. Pharisees - school of rabbis - Hillech, Shammai - schools of interpreting the law. note: as a chart The Pharisees written law - { Moses oral law < { Moses I persons in community Jewish law tells you how to cook and run a business. When men and women are cooking they are doing a liturgy. After the death of Jesus there is criticism of Pharisees. Both Jesus and the Pharisees resisted Greeks about integrating themselves with them. 1962 - 1965 Vatican II If you were a Jesuit before Vatican ll, you had to be in by a certain time, eat at a certain time, wear a black gown and have a collar on all the time. After Vatican ll, each Jesuit was given a key to come and go. Jesus never questioned the observance of the sabbath. He justified his actions. Sabbath made for people and not people for Sabbath - curing the sick etc…. Jews of today follow Pharisees tradition. Therefore, if you say nasty things of Pharisees, you are saying nasty things of Jews - so know what you are talking about. The fact that Jesus argued with Pharisees, it is a cultural thing. 1. means nothing; 2. Jesus did not abolish the law, “truly truly if heaven and earth pass away not all the land…..” Jesus wanted to remain a Jew. There were at least seven kind of Pharisees in Jesus times. If you read Babylon - Jews poking fun of Jews. 1. Shoulder Pharisees (internet download) 2. Wait- a little - would do but is requested, but first must do something else 3. fleeing - walk into wall (from not looking at woman). 4. not bumping into him. 5.reckoning (confession, or forgiveness) 6. Pharisees - always looking for a spiritual director. No matter how good, go to heaven. Many would argue that Jesus was a good Pharisee. To be continued with Dialogue Decalogue - discussion not debate

Busy times but now able to slow down - more education days to come.

I have been attending seminars, lectures etc and it has been informative and fun. I always love to reconnect with former classmates and profs and everyone else. It is a time to learn, refresh ideas and create new ones. It is a time to network and make new friends. Today I am taking a "me day" but I wanted to write to you and bring you up to date. I know I was supposed to write some notes about theology today, but it really is a free day and I want to just keep it light and easy. Next week for sure, I will be back to a normal routine. Showcase at York University was fun and I sold the same amount of books as the year before. When I look my books up online, they seem to be posted and unavailable. They are available - www.silvaredigonda.com. I have added pscyhotherapy for those who are interested in telephone counselling Canada wide or out of the country. Anyone wanting more information can email me directly at silva.redigonda@utoronto.ca or through any links I am associated with. Next month I will be taking a two day course regarding suicide. As Christmas gets closer, some feel isolated, sad and at times suicidal. There is hope and I suggest giving it a try for yourself - HOPE. I am always prepared to take names in Toronto to start up a group therapy weekly session which hopefully can turn into a support group. My interest is veterans, military and other emergency persons and I am always willing to work with other therapists to accomplish this interest. In my adventures lately I met a woman from London Ontario who has set up a support group for adult survivors of child abuse. I bought her book which I have barely started but am sure that it will be wonderful and a support for those who may want to read it.The book is Let Your Light Shine by Sheila M. Stevenson. Next month I have also been asked to keep a day free to attend lecture for providing therapy to LGBT. So next month will be very interesting for me. I have connected with more insurance companies so please feel free to ask them if I am covered by your policy. I have non disclosure contracts and will have to check with a few to see if it is ok to share. At times I am asked why certain insurances cover some and not others. I have been told that it is not the insurance companys but the employers who make that decision. Also, note that you can claim psychotherapy on your income tax deduction under health. I believe you need to spend 1000. in heath costs before claiming. I would love to finish my third book by Christmas and hopeful, I will find the time. I need about two weeks off to do it and may not be able to. I do not like to take time off at Christmas because people can become so sad. I always manage my time according by priorities but my own physical and mental care comes first, because I cannot take care of others, if I am not taking care of myself. Sounds like a cliche but it is so true. So, I shall leave you with some thoughts. Have you been made to feel less than you are? Remember that other people are just like you. Regardless of colour, nationality, culture, religion, education etc......we have basic commonalities. We love, we hate, we suffer, we find pleasure etc.....No one has the right to control you. No one has the right to belittle you. People may do terrible things to others, but they are still people with their own cross to bear. Remember that if you are being abused, you can do something about it. Children are not property to belittle, emotionally demean, physically or sexually abuse. Children are innocent of anything that happens to them by those who should be protecting them. I remember the first time I said to a client as a student, that he should not feel shame because it was not his fault. So, often shame is misplaced. Therapy does help you take control of your life and that has a ripple effect. People who control, do not like it when the people they are abusing seek help. They begin to lose control, the isolation induced becomes threatened. I advise you, the tormentor to get your own help too. Remember if you are feeling suicidal for whatever reason there is help. I ask you to please not kill yourself. You are worth so much, just help yourself to discover it. You just need to step back and have someone help you clear up the forest in your mind. I suggest all of you who read this blog today, to take some times to pause and reflect. What is it you want in life? Have you lost your motivation? Do you isolate yourself? Do you feel shame? Take a reached out hand for they are out there and walk out of the darkness. So, now I am going to enjoy the rest of my day and just have plain fun. What do you think? Next week - for sure - unless a tree falls - I will write more notes about theology. What was that you thought?

Busy, busy times with conferences etc......and hey come and buy a book, or say hello at York University

Well, I have been on a roll. I attended one business seminar, one conference day regarding different types of therapy with the American Association of Family Therapy, another annual conference with Spiritual care, including ethics and PTSD, at North York Hospital, and another at Adler's school of Psychology. It is a good thing I take notes. I will be taking or signing up soon for a two day event regarding suicide. It is held in the beginning of December which I think is very appropriate. They are having a seminar next year at Deerhurst and I really want to go because one speaker, a physician will be speaking about the benefits of music in the operating room for the patient. Next week should be my last busy week for this month. I love conferences, seminars etc....I get to meet interesting people, doing wonderful things for people. I get to learn the latest there is to offer. I get to reunite with old classmates and see how they are changing the lives of so many to live happier lives. I also got to spend Hallow'en giving out over a hundred treats again this year and spending time with friends on one on one. I am looking for a big tree for Christmas and have not quite found one that is pet safe. I really liked one at Lowe's and it was beautiful, but the chemicals would not be healthy for my chewing pets, or the possiblity of, so I will either put up my old one which is sturdy but a tad small in the room. There was another fair I went to geared for seniors, I almost forgot to mention. I am looking forward to slowing down and enjoying the Christmas season. This Tuesday I will be selling my books at York University, Showcase, Central Square from 0900 hrs. I always look forward to going there since the University was a very important part of my growth. I would recommend a psychology degree there for anyone. If you are in the area, drop by to say hello and or buy a signed book. This reminds me that I really need to find some time to get that third one done - so little left to do. If you have a question for me, do not hesitate to ask. If you need an appointment for therapy and or couple therapy, do not hesitate to contact me. So, if you are looking for a therapist, do some research. Is the person registered and accountable to by a regulated body? Do you feel comfortable with the therapist when you meet? It is ok if not, and then go to another. The tip for today? Are you living the life you want, or the life that others want for you? What do you think?

Disorders - continue from psych notes

Disorders - a number of ways people have conceptualized content - will introduce another way of conceptualizing - by looking at what is it of abnormal behavior and what goes wrong. Abnormal Behavior : Cognitive and Emotions gone array. Two types of processing: Cognition (thinking) - Prob. neurologist and Pys. - In about every neurological disorder there is emotional too. eg. Multiple Sorosis - has emotional sequel. Once mess up things in one area, normally effects other. eg. A parent dies - feeling sad is normal and not irrational. There is a learning component to emotion. Learn when to be happy and sad- context that evokes emotions is probably not inborn. Brain probably constructed for rational thought. (a) There was a paper written in 1920- Bektrant Russel and North Whitehead. Question posed is what is basis of mathematics? Point is math can be reduced to logic and logic - which can be reduced to the a/m. Emotions: clinical psychology - get changes of patterns of thinking. There are a few ways we can have abnormal behavior occurrences. a. problem with thinking processing behavior will be unusual because of abnormal behavior or have problem because some emotion is not enough or overcharged. There are some basic fundamental emotions. 1+1. eg. Shepherd job is to take the sheep to carrell in the evening. One night he was not sure if he had brought all the sheep back. He had no real way of checking. Being clever he did as follows: used pebbles to put in a bag as sheep went through- which was the 1 to 1 correspondence between sheep and pebble - process same at night by removing pebbles when went through- if less than had to go find sheep. *Logic - any logical statement can be reduced to 1 to 1. Cognition in purest sense is logical thinking. 1 to 1 - if pay bill - for same amount - exact correspondence. Emotions function completely different. Emotion takes the stimulus and either amplifies it or de-amplifies it - don’t have 1 to 1 correspondence. eg. someone smashed my fender. 1. Can rant and rave and unfairness of the world; or will look, will cost $1000. to repair. 50 h x 20 = to pay; won’t gain by wasting energy so will repair. Latter process is more rational. What happened? How will deal with it? This is the difference. This is idealized because even when we think we are being rational and calm, there is some colouring of emotion. Next: this topic is to be continued with Six Emotions (basic emotions). However, let's not forget we are alternating with theology notes. Have a nice day.

Hey Guy Buy Me

Hey Guy Buy Me

Positive changes coming to a hospital near you? Check this out.

This month and next will be busy with seminars and conferences as well as my regular work but today I would like to share information with you regarding my second last conference a few weeks ago, Oct 5 at Sunnybrook Hospital. The speaker was Dr. Darcy Harris, regarding Spirituality and Health. Dr Harris is an Associate Professor and Thanatology Co-ordinator at Kings University, at the University of Western Ontario. She serves on the board of directors for St Joseph’s Health Care in London, where she is also current Chair of the Quality Committee of the Board. This is among her other credits. I found the day quite exciting and motivating because we are in for positive change and that I think you all want to hear. The following information is provided to you from handouts that Dr Harris supplied, the seminar and my notes. The topic The Sustaining Capacity of Compassionate Care. She reported what we already know and what the National Health Service Upheaval in the UK (Francis Report, 2013) divulged that the health care system was focused on doing the system’s business - not on patients. The standards and methods of measuring compliance did not focus on the effect of service on patients. There is disengagement, disinterest, and tolerance of poor standards and risk to patients. There is failure to address challenges that interfered with maintaining a positive work culture, in nursing and especially the medical profession. The findings of the Francis report - “”It should be patients-not numbers which count…””” “”””A fundamental culture change is needed…””(Francis Report, 2013) “Patients tolerate and even expect to endure some suffering with their illness;however, many describe a different kind of suffering that resulted from the way they were treated by their doctors and other professional staff in the health care setting”””(Ballatt & Campling, 2011). A movement began in Scotland as a way to re-humanize health care (www.whatmatterstoyou.scot) Multiple studies has depicted that compassionate care improves health outcomes, reduces expenses, increases patient satisfaction, better adherence to treatment recommendations, fewer medical errors and malpractice claim and more resilience in health care workers. Research found that kinder care and improved information sharing resulting from compassionate practices leads to a range of improved outcomes including, faster healing of wounds, reduced pain, reduced anxiety, reduced blood pressure, shorter hospitals stays and shorter duration and severity of the common cold (www.dignityhealth.org/about-us/press-center/press-releases/scientific-literature-review-with-standford). Sunnybrook Hospital in Toronto is affiliating with Harvard University to incorporate empathy and compassion. (I had to stop jumping from my seat at the news). (Check out www.ccare.standord.edu) Sunnybrook hospital is affiliating with Harvard ““to make the unbearable bearable’’’’, the Swartz Rounds (Ken Schwartz). The mission, “”to support and advance compassionate healthcare in which caregivers, patients and their families relate to one another in a way that provides hope to the patients, support to caregivers, and sustenance to the healing process. Sponsor education, training, fostering rounds that focus on compassionate approaches and recognition of caregivers who embody the values of compassionate caregiving. The goal is for compassionate caring to rise above institutional rules and practices, encourage health workers to reconnect to the heart of their practice, to increase the happiness, well-being, and resilience of health care workers. Finally, to provide connections between health care workers across the globe in order to support compassionate care. You can also check out www.heartsinhealth.com) One movie clip we watched touched me as a patient talked about her hospital experience. She was on life support and doctors would come in with their interns and talk over the patient never acknowledging her. Of all the doctors and nurses only one would come into her room and touch her shoulder and talk to her. This nurse would talk about tidbits on the news, the weather outside, and anything else. She said that after 20 years she still remembers him and feels the gratitude. He talked to her. She heard everything on life support. One of the questions asked was if there are any other hospitals who have incorporated this method of empathic and compassionate care. I remembered being in Montreal at St Mary’s Hospital and I was so impressed with their cancer care. The chaplain told me that staff and doctors are informed to care for patients as if they are members of their own family. I was so impressed with the care and patience I saw there. I had never seen that quality of care before. However, it is Children’s hospital in Montreal which has implemented the care as mentioned in our lecture. Parking at Sunnybrook alone cost me $26.00 (ouch!) However, parking in Toronto is getting crazy along with everything else. But the day organized by Bill Ford was amazing with lunch to boot and another certificate for me, which I keep in my file drawers for counting educational hours, for my college). I have shared this with you and provided you with references because how we have been taking care of patients is changing and we are moving towards positive change. Any errors which I have typed, I hold myself and only myself responsible for. Have a nice day, balance your life with fun, work and play and do not forget to rest. What do you think?

New Testament - Notes (studies with the Jesuits). Note that the current Pope is a Jesuit

There is anti-Semitism in the New Testament. Let’s assume Jesus was born in year one. Let us assume that Jesus died in year 33. Who was the first person to write anything about him? Paul never saw Jesus (50’s). |______________| _____________50 Paul |_______Mark (2nd) 68’s Rome ____70 1 B Destruction of Temple |___________80-90 Mathew \ Antiac Syria 85 - famous counsel Jamnin - Christian continuing to attend synagogues |__________________Luke 80-85 debate most Rome and say Luke disciple of Paul; many say Luke was not a Jew but a gentile.|______________90 John Ephesus Turkey. Early Christians had two religions. They wanted to be Jews. The point is that the further we go from the death of Jesus Christ, the more anti-Semitic we begin. We have two communities. Our first gospels (Symantics MM+L Q source). John for example is not - it is high. God is the word etc….not history. Gospels were written at a time when the Jewish community was divided among themselves. They were not objective. Each theologian had their own interests. Gospels were written many years after the death of Jesus. Mark is least anti-Semitic. Luke is not a Jew. Mathew- after the temple fell. Sadducees - priestly interpreters of law. When the temple fell- no more temple needed. Mathew - some passages are very anti-semantic in tone. Chapter 21 - “Therefore I tell you kingdom of God is taken away from you.” - squeezing Jews out of the Jew. M —22 vs- parallel of the King. Supercessionist - replacement theology. M 27 - Key to anti-Semitism. “I am innocent of this man’s blood. His blood be on us and on our children. Therefore, Jesus is accepting the blame. Most Jews did not even know about his existence. Evidence that Jews accepted blame for death of Jesus. Deicide - the death of God. Anti-Semitism also focused on the Pharisees. Mathew - Chapter 23 - where collect all the nasties and put it in one sermon - the same person who said forgive your enemies. We have Mathew consistently putting down the Pharisees. In Luke, the Pharisees are on Jesus side. Go away - Harold wants to kill. Mathew wrote at a time when there was a struggle to separate the Christians from the Jews. Division was to differentiate the Christians from the Synagogues (no more vicious fight as that of a family). John wrote in 90. He preached to Gentiles, but Gentiles did not understand the Jewish law. It is difficult to understand Jews in John because there can be a variety Judaism, Jewish religion, high priest, etc……According to some scholars, it refers to problems as a whole. But same as movies with good/bad, emphasize Jews wanted to kill Jesus because made himself equal to God. Jesus is bread in heaven, life and light of world. Jesus becomes good shepherd, replaced Jewish leadership. Jesus body replaces temples. 8:44 - Jews were children in the devil. Christology is the left hand of anti-Semitism. The most vicious wars have been religious wars. Remember that the Gospel of John was written after - hate literature - concluding with Word of God. If written today would take him to court. Historical - Who killed Jesus Christ? What killed Jesus Christ? - theological. Theologically we killed Jesus, not the Jews. “The hand of God who takes away the sins of the world.” New Testament to be continued ………….(in about 2 weeks) next week back to psych.

Word on the Street - Yes!

Word on the Street was fun and extraordinary at the same time. There is an excitement that generates when you get writers and readers alike at one grand festival. I do love the waterfront and having a view of watching the lake with boats and planes passing by is just about perfect. Again I met tourists and one complained to me about paying 600. a night and getting served with paper plates and cups. I told him he should complain but he didn’t want to. Then I informed him (once again - since last year) that our Mayor loves tourists and he should write him a letter of his experience with the hotel. I have never paid $600. a night for a hotel, but I would expect proper plates etc……Well this is one tourist who will return to his country and tell them how horrible the service is here in Toronto and how expensive. That is too bad, because we do have a beautiful city with lots of real plates and glasses too. I met many wonderful people from Toronto as well who just love books and talking about them. I promised my third book for sale at the next “Word on the Street.” It is so meaningful when people return to find my next book. I can only hope that I bring some joy to people. I love writing as you may have guessed. This is such an amazing world and we each need to find a way to make it better for someone else as well as ourselves. What is your passion? What do you think? ( I will be writing another entry having to do with theology this week as promised)

"Hey Guy Buy Me" selling used for $45.00 plus shipping. Please don't fall for it.

Every once in awhile I like to type out my name and see what comes up. I do this mainly for advertisement purposes. Today I have to run to play but before I do, I ask you to be mindful when buying on line or anywhere else. My "Hey Guy Buy Me" sells for 9.95. To see it displayed for 45.00 is sort of sad. I know that people like to make money but really - 45? I sell, "For Love of Country - Military Policewoman" at a loss at $19.95. I write for fun. I am hoping to devote more time to writing books, but life always seems to get in the way. So, be mindful when you see a book being sold, to be sure that you are not cheated. Regarding Psychotherapy I realize that there are communities that don't offer my services. Make sure that who ever you do decide to see is qualified for the work that they do. I am still in the process of establishing myself. I do charge $100. for 50 minutes and know that I could charge more but do not. I think that is a good price in regards to my education and experience. You can claim it as a health benefit in your income tax. I believe you have to have $1000. expenses of health benefits before you can claim, however always check since there are always changes. Right now, I believe that is how it works. There are so many scams out there. Be careful and research anything you find on line. I wish you a nice day, a nice weekend and hope to see you at Word on the Street. If not, I will let you know how it went next week. Have you been a survior of a scam? What do you think?

Word on The Street this Sunday at the Waterfront. Come and visit my booth.

It is that time of the year for me again. I shall be selling my two books (which I write for pleasure only)at booth 153. Look for my sign "Hey Guy Buy Me." I will be at the East side of the waterfront by the Power plant. Do come and buy a book if you have not, or just come by and say hello. I love writing and unfortunately do not have the time to focus on my writing as much as I would like at this time. However, I shall continue and find a way to make time. Regarding my third book, I do need a few weeks to just focus on the ending with no distractions which is not possible right now. I am hoping to find that time in several months. November 8, 2016, I shall be returning to "Show Case" at York University, in Central Sqare. You may buy my books there, if you cannot go to "Word on the Street". If you have a passion why not start to work on it? What is stopping you? If you do not have a passion - why not?

continue with K Scale - psychological testing - psych notes -

K scale is another way not answering in valid - 30 items - above 22 or so eg. I never worry about anything. K scale is defensive. Empirically found there is a relationship between how you do on K scale and how done on test. Scale 1. - hypochondriasis scale - reflect hypochondriasis Scale 2. - depression Scale 3 - hysteria Scale 4- psychopathic devoit scale (high value routinely). Scale 5 - male/ female scale - interest scale. Used to be used to be a homosexual detector (m less violent - f) Scale 6 - Paranoid scale Scale 7 - Psychosemia - observe compulsive Scale 8 - Schizophrenia Artistic and creative has perception of world we see strange. Scale 9 - mania scale 10 or 0 - Social Introverted scale Biological Assessment - CAT or CT - (glorified x ray) - x ray gun moves around with different slices of the brain. Density of lesion different than density of layer lesion. If mass on one side of the brain, it pushes structuring to one side of brain. You may not be able to see tumour but can infer there is. Another problem is bone, because of shadows. Size of tangerines have been missed. MRI O / H+ / H + Person is put inside - electrified. Water molecules put into electro magnetic field. _________+ high frequency disorganizes and then snaps back. Sensory device and makes _________+ density. _________+ _________+ 80% of body is water Functional imaging depends on auto regulation of blood flow - get flushed with blood - weight lifting and stationary cycling. PAT scanner does - inhale radio active gas. Radio active has short life span. Can’t scan for more than 13 minutes. One set of cells in brain. MRI - looks at changes in brain activity. EEG - old stuff. Next - Disorders -continue. Please keep in mind that I am typing all my written notes for myself so I can dispose of my paperwork. This I share with you. Information is always changing and improving as we grow in research and science.

Sully - the movie (I really liked it)

I remember watching the news when it happened. A passenger airplane had landed on the Hudson river. What amazed me was that there were no fatalities. I didn’t know the pilot had been a fighter pilot in the military. I remember watching a documentary some time ago about crashes and how the pilots today do not have the skills as those pilots with years of experience before everything became so computerized. The documentary depicted that flying today is so automated that when something does happen, the skills of old are not there. Sully, a pilot with 42 years of experience was able to land that plane when how many others could? I was aware of Sully as a hero for the people and no wonder. What I was not aware of was the internal investigation that he and his co-pilot suffered. Recently, the media proclaimed that the investigators did not like the way they were portrayed in the media. I can understand their perspective as well. No one likes to be judged and shamed world wide. Because, this is what will happen. The judging has become reversed. I wasn’t aware that Sully had to worry about money during this process and that he could have lost his pension, pending the results of the investigation. I went to see this movie because I was interested in the details especially since Sully was such an active participant in all it’s making. This has been from my perspective very therapeutic for Sully. I often advise my clients who have suffered trauma to begin writing their story, though I recommend it during therapy, so they can bring into therapy, the emotions that come with it, so as it is not too overwhelming, depending on the trauma and how long ago it happened. It is natural that even Sully second guessed himself during the process. There have been studies depicting a person in the right, changing his stance where everyone else in the room is different from what is occurring. That Sully has such an analytical brain, that he was able to direct the investigation to where it should have started with in the first place, was his saving grace. That it took 17 tries I believe for the simulation piloting to land on a runway, should have been considered, without him having to ask that question. That the “human factor” had to be considered for timing was also missing from the investigation. How does one investigate? Each and every possibility needs to be considered, how, who, why, what, when, has to each be taken apart, and studied and re-examined through a process of elimination or not. Was this done in the investigation? It did not appear so. We have as a society become quite dependant on computers. Not that long ago, a friend of mine told me to leave my car, on the driveway as she reversed her car from the garage, planning to drive around my car. She had just bought a jewel of a vehicle, fully equipped and automated with a stylish screen, to ensure she could reverse safely. I hollered out for her to stop as I could see she was going to hit my car. However, since her screen indicated that she could reverse without hitting my car, she trusted it, more than my eyesight and sense of perception. Yes, she hit my car. My car cried. Though she was quite upset about it, it was her disbelief that the computer failed to see the collision which surprised me most. No, I did not take her money. I mean the car was 20 years old but if it wasn’t, it would have been me crying. Though this is a real dismal and poor analogy, I hope my point is understood. I am sorry that this pilot had to suffer. I hope that he makes lots of money selling his books and from the proceeds of this movie. I hope the airliner has compensated him and I hope he gets a hefty bonus for saving so many lives as well. Give me a computer or a military pilot with over 40 years of experience. Well, for me that is a no brainer. Thank you Sully for saving all those people. Yes, it was a collaborative success. This is a movie which demonstrates integrity, skill, team work, the importance of wonderful co-partners, the importance of a supportive family, and a system that can fail those who deserves the best. Aw, to be human!

World Religions - theology notes

World Religions (notes) Keep in mind that stats will fluctuate with time passing. Well, I promised and now I am delivering. I thought we would begin with World Religions. What is the purpose? To promote understanding and collaboration; to live in a multi-cultural society in Canada. Ecumenically - exchange of communication of different faiths. Buddhists do not believe in God. Some people practise more than one religion. Japan - four religions. Why belong to one when there are four? 2 1/2% of Asians are Christians. Cultural Imperialism - trying to make others like you (in a country)? Why study World Religion? 2 out of 3 Roman Catholics marry non Roman Catholics in Toronto. Thailand is the only country in Asia, never christianized. Power has nothing to do with God. Asia what you say and opposite of what you say is all true. Only 1/3 of the world is Christian. One book to read is “Jesus was a native Indian” (I have not read that book so if you have, I would appreciate feedback). Zen meditation is used in RC (Roman Catholic). Required reading for me was Paul F. Knetter, Introducing theologies of Religions. Publisher, Mary Knoll, NY: ORBIS, 2002. Another author for World Religions who I had for two courses in my Masters and who worked me to death more than any professor I ever had is Ovey Mohammed, Muslim-Christian Relations, Past, Present, Future, Mary Knoll, N.Y. 2002. 38% in U.S.A, do not accept Jesus. Among intellectuals Buddhism is the choice (I am not an intellectual). Most of the parables of Jesus Christ are Buddhists. Jews have a high regard of Jesus. Dialogue Decalog - always respectfully (no one has the truth). What I hear is……….Dialogue is not a debate. It is to be respectful; to contribute in the world which is a mess at the moment. Ideally people should have a religion because they are shopping. Ideally if you are going to be in a multi faith community. Your views are only, your views. Other people have views and ask why they have those views. There is no such thing as a Christian belief. Catholic ———Jew (Orthodox, Conservative, reform. Different beliefs. Religions do not dialogue, it’s people. Therefore, I am an Anglican and from my perspective that is what it appears. Maybe we should learn to talk to teach each other how to speak from our own perspectives and what our religious background is - respectfully. Inter religious ecumenical. RC - make statement to Presbyterian. You can not tell Presbyterian what it is. People are sensitive about culture and religion because it touches their identity. As Roman Catholics we have four dealings. 1. Life: when know each others person, we can ask more. 2. Action: dialogue without killing anyone. 3. Spirituality: how do you pray? 4. Theological. So when we talk about dialogue, it is not only theology, we should be able to be self critical regarding our religion and not apologize. We should try to understand the other person’s church. When Jesus said go preach. He did not say go kill. Walk a mile in his Mohicans. Unless you know to some degree how to be a Buddhist, you should not criticize. Dialogue must be practical. It must have an outcome - how that person sees the world. Dialogue has spiritual dimension. Today people have increasing amount - of spirituality and less theology - less of war - live and let live intelligently. Next: New Testament. However, next week is back to psychology notes.

Word On The Street - Come and visit me and or buy a book while you are at it.

It is that time of the year again where I will be at "Word on The Street" held at the Waterfront selling my books. You will find me right by the water at Booth 153, near the Power Plant. Look for the sign, "Hey Guy Buy Me." I should be set up by 11:00 and the day ends at 6pm. Of course I am always early so visit earlier if you wish. I should be there by 10:00. If you are a friend of mine you may bring me a black coffee. If you are not, why not bring me a smile. Both are great! Books for sale will be Hey Guy Buy Me (9.95)and Military Policewoman: For love of Country (19.95). The date is Sunday, 25 September 16.

continue from last week’s Diathesis and illness. 1st step of assessment:

how many intimate relations, when started, how many times divorced, vocational history, how many jobs in last four years (25 in one year). General medical history: Ever banged in the head with a period of unconsciousness, substance abuse history, rate of alcohol, how many prescriptions drugs (go to more than one physician for prescription drugs), caffeine, nicotine both substance (eg. grad lived with Dean, drank about 25 coffees a day, anxiety reduced when coffee reduced. Previously thought it was the thought of separation but it was the coffee. Psychological Tests: MMPI - | T Scores | Raw score converted to T score Therefore, general population is 50 as far as T | score Standard Deviation: reflect amount of vulnerability in population Curve - + 1 68% _________340 bottom curve - + 2 95% +3 99% of population So in T score S.D. = 10 L- lie factor F- Impression management (want you to think they are crazy). If try to make selves virtuous - if try to pass off as mother Theresa will be nicer. Some do think they are Saints. to be continued with K Scale I know this is probably boring for you but please bear with me. I need to have this for myself as notes. I write all my notes at lectures etc....Did you know that if you write your notes rather than typing them in a session, you retain it more? Next week, I will give you a break from this and begin writing my theology notes as promised. This will interchange every two weeks. Have a great week, balance your life and if you are not happy, why not begin a new trend for yourself to move in that direction? What do you think?

Diathesis and illness - psychology notes (part one - I will complete this portion next week)

Concept is vulnerability of individual for particular disorder. Salient - notion of stress studies of animals: they all came down with the same disorder. Example: (I have deleted part of these notes from the blog because I do not think that the example is appropriate for the public. However, I have kept the notes for my self. Suffice to say that the experiment conducted on animals to induce stress caused more general responses such as stomach ulcers. Humans - relatively small set of responses - some backaches, some headaches, some ulcers. General adaption syndrome: Does not matter what stressor is the type of response a person has - seems to be genetic in a large roll. eg. two parents with ulcers - children also. If parents develop headache when stressed - children also get headaches when stressed. This all falls under the notion of diathesis - High diathesis: more vulnerable. Reference to the DSM in these notes is prior to recent changes. There is mention of some changes to the DSM in prior blogs. DSM - why formulated. DSM looks at either you have it or you do not. If there is a possible nine criteria and you have 5 or more, you have diagnosis. If you have 4, than you do not. There is a problem with that. Hypothetical case: You have two people with different symptoms and they share only one symptom. In theory because they have the same amount numerically but share one, should the treatment be the same? The second problem - There were 11 personality disorders. Eg. A- schizophrenics , paranoids etc. B. narcissistic, border line, anti socials etc… C. avoidant, dependent, obsessive compulsive, depressive 7-9 symptoms for most of them 4-5 7/4 x 6x5x4x3x2 etc = 5000 ways to see how many different ways can people be so broad and lacking makes you wonder if it is good. So, what are alternative ways of looking at abnormal disorders. Behaviours can be measured. The notion that behaviour can be measured. Look at it two ways. 1. Dimensional Constructs: {_________________} ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ if IQ scale ‘ ‘ more intelligent than 2. It allows you to fractionate into smaller sub units. Example memory - with careful measure - know individually stored and can be disrupted by drugs etc… 1 disease - know it is a woman but not if she is a daughter, wife or neighbour. Looking at things dimensionally rather than -categorical is finer. First step of assessment 1. Clinical interview. First goal is to determine what the problem is. Example. Male comes with mother in law problem. The problem is not her, it is his temper, among other things. People would think they have one problem and find out it is another. Example: one male went to a Chiropractor for six months for a back problem. Then he went to a MD - He had a tumour and died three weeks later. Sometimes it is easier to know what it isn’t then to know what it is. To rule out, establish a rapport. If there is no rapport established then the person will not open up and you do not get the whole picture. Often you won’t get it all in the first interview. Interviews can be helped if you have a type of structure. It does not have to be rigid. Semi structure - Free to modify suggested question. If interviewing grade 5 level - no 50 cents words. Semi structure interview is the SCID. Another approach is in structured interview - it can be fun if you have time for patients. Patient may be uncomfortable. Example a pedophile - would talk about something else. Another thing is that it may not be known to them such as the mother in law mentioned above. You want to get a sense of their history. Prof does it: Family of Origin, siblings and order- parents married? When remarried, divorced, dead. Get what life was like, school, education, friends - what kind - music, scholar, holding up stores etc…. how many intimate relations……….to be continued….. I have taken some notes out for you not to see because I consider it a tad inappropriate outside the classroom. I will be continuing with these particular notes next week because I have been very busy - sorry. I do not diagnose. If I think that a diagnosis is required than I ask the client to see a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor with three years of psychology as per my latest info. Sometimes medication is required and sometimes there is a chemical imbalance. I like to have my clients have a complete physical to ensure that there is nothing physical going on as well. My interviews are somewhat unstructured depending on the client. However, I have had many years of interviewing people and so most of my previous education and work experience aides me as a psychotherapist. Critical listening is very important. I do have forms with much of the information that is indicated in the first step. I have found that it is very common that someone believes he or she has one problem but when the client is able to take a step backward and examine his or her situation, often there are other reasons which has impacted him or her. Sometimes people have kept so much within themselves that they do have to really trust the therapist to disclose what has haunted them for years. What do you think? Do you have a therapist you trust? Are you too embarrassed to be honest? If you are not comfortable with your therapist, shop around until you find one that you do feel you can tell all you need to, to move forward. Some people feel like they have had a bad experience and give up. Please do not. Therapists know that clients need to have a connection and it is nothing personal. What is important is what the client needs. There have been studies which has depicted that the relationship the client has with his or her therapist is even more important than the knowledge the therapist has. I will be continuing with this line of thought next week from my psychology notes. After next week, I will begin my theology notes and continue this way in alternate weeks. I do hope you enjoy reading this. Feel free if you ever want to comment. Thank you.

Religion vs Culture - Pastoral

In North America we have freedoms that we often take for granted. Sometimes we may feel that the entire world operates as we do but then we get glimpses of reality through violence experienced, terrorism etc….that we can experience life’s altering moments or get a perspective from the suffering of others. Recently I watched a documentary ‘Women” by Gloria Steinman who depicted the femicide of women in El Salvador. It seemed incredulous to me that so many women are being tortured to death by men. Even more so that it is considered the norm. Men in powerful positions often get no penalty whatsoever for beating or even killing their wives or girlfriends. Where does all this anger come from? Gangs enjoy torturing women because as one ex gang member put it, they scream more. He considered it art. We had two Canadians college students (not university) who considered torturing an animal to death as art too. Torture is not art. In my opinion, it is pure evil. One man interviewed in El Salvador said that he beats his wife but added that she likes it because she stays with him. He has thought of killing her at times and perhaps will. It is such a problem that they have special police units to investigate these killings/torture. One Policewoman in charge of her unit stated that she has arrested policemen as well for such crimes. The female reporter is shown entering a bar full of men only to interview and get their perspectives. They speak of growing up having their dads beat up their mothers. When I went to school there would always be a protest from a student regarding our notion of countries we do not think are civilized. We are educated to see life from the perspective of others. We can send women to space and elect them to parliament while women in other countries are being whipped for being raped, not allowed to drive cars and forced into prostitution. How civilized pray tell, is all this? I am glad that my country opens the doors to the repressed. Religion is becoming a dirty word in some circles and Spirituality is the objective to replace religion. How many people who are abusive are religious? How many children grow up to hate religion because it has been distorted for them? How many men go to Church or equivalent and then beat up or rape their wives? How many religious people beat up their children, humiliate them and then say that they should honour the parent because it is God’s wish? The name of God has been utilized so often in the torture, killings and terrorism of others. Is this God? Is this religion? Is this madness, needing an excuse? None of this has to do with God. Because the God I know is not evil. Evil is called something else, and it is certainly not God. Changing to a lighter subject, I was reading a booklet, “Echo from Africa and other continents” May/Jun 2016 pgs 20-25, by Fr S. Arockia Doss, a Catholic priest who works in Tamil, India. He has organized a project to help Dalit children through education. Fr Doss reports knowing the status of Dalit women and girls in India from personal experience. His own father had taken his three sisters out of school, who today he describes are worn and aged before their time from work. Women and girls are molested within the homes of high-caste landlords. Nearly 90% of his parish consists of Dalits. Nothing has changed. These females are still prevented from going to school; forced to work as domestic servants. It is no surprise that Fr Doss explains that the poverty is mostly due to exploitation and injustice (sounds familiar?). Dalit women work under harsh circumstances while being abused both at work and home. They experience “filthy verbal abuse, sexual abuse, and unimaginable violence.” Many are forced into prostitution. I find it interesting that Fr Doss clarifies that Dalit Christians have 300 years of experience with Christianity yet do not even know what their faith is. Many Christians there do not view Dalits as people. Fr Doss states that only education can save them from an endless cycle of slavery and he is doing everything in his power to provide this education. Stipends from the church collections pays for teachers. These female children are now altar servers and readers and of course this bothers the high-caste Christians of the parish. “Even though there are only 16 high-caste families in the parish, they have much influence and are trying to impede the changes I have made.” Fr Doss is looking for funds to continue educating females. “When a Dalit girl is educated, their entire family benefits. Our shoulders have carried the weight of slavery for 3,000 years. Education was always beyond our reach. We have been forced to carry out menial jobs in unhygienic conditions, making cleanliness a basic issue. Traditionally we are not allowed to enter temples or places of worship. As unclean beings, we are forbidden to enter holy places according to the Hindu religion.” There is a photo depicted of two rows of children. It demonstrates that the Dalit children are not allowed to eat while the children of castes eat. They must sit separately and eat later from specially marked plates. I find this shameful. That they call themselves Christians is even more so. Fr Doss writes, “I know what poverty is. I have been hungry and felt the sting of insults. I have known the shame of not being able to afford even the small amount needed for school fees. I have known the yearning for new clothes and the embarrassment of wearing tattered rags when every one else was clothed in new outfits during festival times. There are many thorns and pains in my heart and mind from my childhood - a small replica of Jesus’ passion, as viewed through the eyes of a child.” Why not say a prayer for the work that Fr Doss is trying to do regardless of the obstacles against him? In what way can any of us help the wrong doings in the world? How can we contribute to stop the exploitation of those who cannot protect themselves? What do you think?

Don’t Tell Mummy a book by Toni Maguire - review

I knew by the photo and title what this book was about. I had just speed read six books from a popular author and I couldn’t finish any of them. I wanted to read for fun but blood and guts and psychotic killers are not my style. Yes, I can write about psychotic killers and I am, but no blood or guts and I don’t think I swear like a trucker either. I guess I have to write my own to enjoy them. I don’t know why I cannot seem to get really interested in a fluff book these last few months. I do enjoy reading for fun and clearing my head up a bit. I did not choose (Don’t Tell Mummy) this book. It chose me. It is not the type of book I would buy because I do deal with child abuse, at what I thought for the longest time was epidemic. My research on pedophiles about four years ago would have to be updated. However, as I was walking home one day, I noticed this book pop up at me from someone’s grass. The grass had an array of spiritualist organic type psydo quasi therapy books which I briefly scanned and discarded while standing. I certainly didn’t need to read more about pedophiles but the haunting eyes of the little girl on the picture would not allow me to move on, and so I picked it up, brought it home and read it in two sittings. I am now in my office where I will add this book to my book shelf. When I think that a client will need to read this, I shall loan this one out. I don’t normally loan out books anymore because too many times I have not have them returned (I am referring to previous fellow students and colleagues). So, now I may recommend a book instead, but this book is special because I could not simply walk by without taking it home. The book is Toni Maguire’s autobiography. I like bios and have written my own. What I normally do with adults who have been sexually abused as children is provide them with the opportunity to report who molested them. If they are children I have an obligation by law to report it. However, adults who have been molested as children grow up, remember and all too often are tormented by their visions. Pedophiles unfortunately know exactly how to find their preys but all too often children are molested by their own family members. I remember years ago taking a three day sexual assault course and the initial speaker was a brave soul who spoke of being raped by her father and brother. When she reported it to the Police, she was abandoned by her entire family including her mother. Did the mother know? That is a question many ask and many know the answer. Though in my practice I let the clients know they can report it, it is also about giving them the power to make their own decisions. They can take their power back. Pedophiles do not consider themselves pedophiles. I know of therapists who will not provide therapy for pedophiles. Several months ago I read an article in one of my therapy magazines about the difficulty for pedophiles to seek help. Who do they go to for help? We really do not know what is hidden within those who walk among us and therefore we have a responsibility to protect our children. Pedophiles are fathers, mothers, other family members and among authority figures. I believe that pedophiles seek occupations where they hold trusting positions with access to children. If you are a parent and your child tells you that he or she has been sexually abused please report it, even if it is your mate. It has to stop. Why I am writing about this book today is because the author at one point is upset because the psychiatrist asks if she enjoyed the sex. The response was denial and the writer was quite upset about it. However, and this is why I am writing about his today, fear causes orgasms. You can be absolutely terrified and this will cause arousal. Also, children are sexual beings. We are all sexual beings. And this is important because the pedophile knows that. Therefore, if you have been victimized and you have felt some pleasure, please believe it is still a crime and it is not your fault. That the pedophile kept asking this child if she liked it and forced a positive response on her, this is what pedophiles do. They try and make the child think it is his or her fault. That since there may be pleasure,it is ok. It is not under any condition. It is the adult and only the adult at fault. There is no reason or justification for any adult to molest a child in any form. What did bother me about this book is how the entire community when this was exposed blamed the child. These witch hunt responses of blaming the surviver has always annoyed me - how cruel. What I also recommend for adults of child abuse is to write their story while in therapy. Writing may trigger too much for the adult child to deal with. A therapist can help guide the person not to overwhelm themselves and to help them understand the process. So, I do recommend this book. And if you have been molested, you do not have to carry it all by yourself. Tell someone and if they do nothing about it tell someone else who can recognize it for what it is. What do you think?

Killing of elderly Priest while conducting mass in Northern France is so unholy.

I cut my psychology notes short today because the killing of an 84 year old Catholic priest while conducting mass touched my heart. So did the slaying in Japan of special needs persons and so did.........but I want to focus on the elderly priest. Catholic priests have always been good to me. To this day my mentors are mainly elderly Catholic Jesuits. Though their bodies have become sickened with aging and disease, their minds are sharp as a whip. If I could ever be slightly as wise, I would be most fortunate. Growth is important to me. I have been fortunate to have been surrounded by brilliant men who respect women. That is why I like helping people because I think that all should have the opportunity to love life and enjoy what it can offer to each person. They need only want it for themselves. ISIS has claimed responsibility and report that it is in retaliation for the Americans seeking them out. Really? I am sure that there are some among them who are educated. However, I am not quite sure. There are many people out there who are preyed upon. People who are dischanted, unwanted, unloved, feeling worthless etc....are targets for the satanic acts in the name of extremists which has nothing to do with God. So many people use the name of God to commit the most horrific crimes. They need to feel that they have the authority of the highest. However, they have the authority from the lowest. Targeting the elderly, the holy, the children, the innocent has nothing to do with Allah. Some of the nicest people I have met are Muslims. Annually they are reminded to donate to charity and they do. I will be writing about organized religion and the various religions because all too often religion is blamed for horrific acts but the acts have nothing to do with religion. Kids in school join gangs because they need to feel that they belong somewhere. Kids in school want to take part of drugs because they think it makes them better, more popular......among who? I think society needs to really take a serious look at the mental problems that people have because some may just tip over. The internet can be a deadly place for youth who are innocent. How many have killed themselves because of sociopaths targeting them? How many are targeted by pedophiles in the guise of being handsome youths. We live in a society where there is so much good, so much beauty but sometimes it can all be lost for those who find themselves unwanted and unloved. Many times this is only a perception and sometimes it is not. There are many malfunctioning families out there and why not? There is a cycle of violence which can be and needs to be halted. ISIS must know, but maybe not because perhaps they are short on the smarts. Attacking innocents does not have anyone stopping from getting you and they will. It only enhances the urge to do so more. People who live in free countries, love it. They are willing to die for freedom and have done so since the beginning. This morning while watching the news, a pod of dophins was shown to make a good start of our day. The parents swam at each side of them to protect them. It was wonderful to see. We should learn from the animal kingdom. So, while I mourn for the elderly priest who was killed so brutally and I understand there is another parishioner in grave condition, I know that the Americans will hunt down the persons responsible. Allied countries will follow and hopefully we can rid ourselves of venum attempting to terrorize but not succeeding to tarnish the souls. Killing children, the holy, the innocent does not dissuade, it encourages. Now who is the source of income for these sad creatures? What do you think?

continuing from Abnormal psychology notes: Learning/Cognitive Paradigms

Behaviorists Stimulus > Cognitive > Response—————————Persons A and B , Response 1 for person A and response B for person 2. Why do persons behave abnormally? If hang around anti socials as a child and not scholars, re- enforcement is for the delinquency that occurred - anti social behaviour rather than pro social. Think of people growing up in one environment and came out of another. Classification and Diagnostic - Why does DSM exist? It is psychiatric not psychological. Historically, pre 1950’s, it was only psychiatrists involved with mental patients - post trauma of war soldiers - shell shock (WW1 term) - battle fatigue (WW2 term). How psychiatrists used to diagnose - eg. Schizophrenia 1. Kraeplin - Biological approach - too much nitrogen. It was felt that the fece of the schizophrenic had odour, kidney etc conditions which gave rise to chemical imbalance. 2. Bleuler - words get linked, get sentence link and paragraphs and threads that bind everything together. Split minds/thoughts - schizophrenia (other disease symptoms). 3. Schneider (approach) First rank system. Paul Meehl did study in which he asked five or six psychiatrists to interview and diagnose the same patients. He found six different diagnosis (Inter rated reliability). This caused a blow to psychiatry. Meehl did the same thing with psychologists - MMPI - control group were relatives of mental patients (farmers) —good interatcial reliability, even though work was needed. to be continued with: Two features of the DSM -

Difficult Week for the World - Grief/Trauma - Where is God?

There is always something happening in the world to talk about. My heart felt sympathies to the tragedy in Nice, France and to the senseless killings of Police in the States. Baton Rouge, you asked for prayers and you certainly received them from me. The Coup attempt in Turkey caused death and now an endless amount of people are being jailed there. Then there is the despicable killing of a woman by her own brother, considered honour killing in Pakistan. What honour is there when a brother strangles his sister? The list goes on and on. This causes grief and it causes trauma. In a church I visited on Sunday I heard a Pastor ask, “Where is God in all this? How can God let this happen?” He talked about evil and good and the contrast. I remember my own question when I asked, “How can God let this happen?” in reference to Global warming and the unavoidable destruction of our own planet, by our own greed and negligence. The answer was “free will.” We have the free will to do good and we have the free will to do terrible things. I have always had a curious mind and I have questioned to death and still do. When I didn’t know something that interested me I would read and read and study about it. I have had so many people ask me as they receive their death notice due to cancer or other terminal diseases - why? Why has God allowed this to happen? There is a privilege in having those precious moments of trust. You are with a person at his or her lowest point and you are witness to a truth, in its holiest form. I was watching a mass one Sunday when I heard a Pastor talk about suffering. His answer had me cursing and I immediately prayed for forgiveness and looked up at the screen to see a person I recognized because he had been educated at the same institution as myself. I went to visit an elderly wise Jesuit who is also my friend and I shared what I thought. He guided me in my thinking. People need to find their own answers within them he solemnly said. That is also so much a part of psychotherapy. I have had people come to my office and when I ask, how I can help them, they sometimes say, “I need you to tell me what to do.” My reply, “I don’t do that but I can help you find and explore what it is you want to do.” Sometimes people really want someone to tell them what to do because they are so overwhelmed and want to take a break from all the emotions that are drowning them. No one is perfect. There are nice, caring and wonderful people who do make terrible mistakes. We come from a place of our own experiences, our own cultures and our own successes and failures that define us. We spend a life time searching for something whether it be God, security, a better opportunity etc….I do believe that there is more good than bad in this world and I do believe that good will triumph eventually. There is a lot of talk about walls and killings etc…..but one thing I know is that we are all the same. There are differences but there are similarities. I often hear people spewing, “mind your own business” when someone interferes with something one person is saying or doing. One of the benefits of living in a free country is that it is everyone’s business to ensure we live in a wonderful world. The old days of minding your own business permitted men to kill wives, to rape women and to beat children or humiliate them. Parents need help in raising their children because children are not private property. They belong to all of us. They are our future. It is all our of our business to protect them. Again I have heard of parents in the States this time sending their young children into the desert to punish them. I feel bad for the children, but I also feel bad for the parents because it appears they don’t know any better. Recently parents in Canada were found guilty after their child died because they did not bring them for care to a physician when the child was sick. We all have different opinions,however we all have a responsibility to each other. How can we make our world better? There are many people grieving and what I can say is let them grieve. If it is you, allow yourself to grieve. Don't think that you should decide how your friend should grieve or when it is enough. People are different and one does not necessarily know the pain of another. If you are a friend, be a friend and allow your friend to grieve, to talk, to release themselves slowly of the hurt. Don’t judge others because you really don’t know what is in their hearts and soul. However, a bit of kindness can go a long way. And when you fall, or make a mistake forgive yourself because being human means not being perfect. When grief becomes complicated, when you visualize a horrible incident over and over and you can't seem to get beyond it then please go for help. When you are dealing with trauma, remember that the body is protecting itself automatically from harm. It is not a sign of weakness. How often to you hear, “I am strong and they are not.” If you are one who thinks you are strong, think why? What have your struggles been? Under the right circumstances anyone can suffer and that has nothing to do with weakness. I have a simple philosophy if there is an act that hurts someone, than it is my business. When I see women being killed because someone thinks they are personal property, than it is my business. If I see a child being molested than it is my business. If I see someone controlling another against their will than it is my business. If we have terrorism in the world than it is my business. If we have a planet that is dying because we have abused it, than it is my business. If we have a country that allows its people to starve than it is my business. If we have children in the world suffering than it is my business. If you are suffering why not take the first step to help yourself. If you are feeling suicidal because you have lost hope, have lost yourself than walk into an emergency hospital or clinic or see someone to help you regain your hope because hope can be regained. Try taking a step back from the overwhelming emotions you may be feeling and find that one person who will help you because there is good in this world. You just need to find it. What do you think?