Difficult Week for the World - Grief/Trauma - Where is God?

There is always something happening in the world to talk about. My heart felt sympathies to the tragedy in Nice, France and to the senseless killings of Police in the States. Baton Rouge, you asked for prayers and you certainly received them from me. The Coup attempt in Turkey caused death and now an endless amount of people are being jailed there. Then there is the despicable killing of a woman by her own brother, considered honour killing in Pakistan. What honour is there when a brother strangles his sister? The list goes on and on. This causes grief and it causes trauma. In a church I visited on Sunday I heard a Pastor ask, “Where is God in all this? How can God let this happen?” He talked about evil and good and the contrast. I remember my own question when I asked, “How can God let this happen?” in reference to Global warming and the unavoidable destruction of our own planet, by our own greed and negligence. The answer was “free will.” We have the free will to do good and we have the free will to do terrible things. I have always had a curious mind and I have questioned to death and still do. When I didn’t know something that interested me I would read and read and study about it. I have had so many people ask me as they receive their death notice due to cancer or other terminal diseases - why? Why has God allowed this to happen? There is a privilege in having those precious moments of trust. You are with a person at his or her lowest point and you are witness to a truth, in its holiest form. I was watching a mass one Sunday when I heard a Pastor talk about suffering. His answer had me cursing and I immediately prayed for forgiveness and looked up at the screen to see a person I recognized because he had been educated at the same institution as myself. I went to visit an elderly wise Jesuit who is also my friend and I shared what I thought. He guided me in my thinking. People need to find their own answers within them he solemnly said. That is also so much a part of psychotherapy. I have had people come to my office and when I ask, how I can help them, they sometimes say, “I need you to tell me what to do.” My reply, “I don’t do that but I can help you find and explore what it is you want to do.” Sometimes people really want someone to tell them what to do because they are so overwhelmed and want to take a break from all the emotions that are drowning them. No one is perfect. There are nice, caring and wonderful people who do make terrible mistakes. We come from a place of our own experiences, our own cultures and our own successes and failures that define us. We spend a life time searching for something whether it be God, security, a better opportunity etc….I do believe that there is more good than bad in this world and I do believe that good will triumph eventually. There is a lot of talk about walls and killings etc…..but one thing I know is that we are all the same. There are differences but there are similarities. I often hear people spewing, “mind your own business” when someone interferes with something one person is saying or doing. One of the benefits of living in a free country is that it is everyone’s business to ensure we live in a wonderful world. The old days of minding your own business permitted men to kill wives, to rape women and to beat children or humiliate them. Parents need help in raising their children because children are not private property. They belong to all of us. They are our future. It is all our of our business to protect them. Again I have heard of parents in the States this time sending their young children into the desert to punish them. I feel bad for the children, but I also feel bad for the parents because it appears they don’t know any better. Recently parents in Canada were found guilty after their child died because they did not bring them for care to a physician when the child was sick. We all have different opinions,however we all have a responsibility to each other. How can we make our world better? There are many people grieving and what I can say is let them grieve. If it is you, allow yourself to grieve. Don't think that you should decide how your friend should grieve or when it is enough. People are different and one does not necessarily know the pain of another. If you are a friend, be a friend and allow your friend to grieve, to talk, to release themselves slowly of the hurt. Don’t judge others because you really don’t know what is in their hearts and soul. However, a bit of kindness can go a long way. And when you fall, or make a mistake forgive yourself because being human means not being perfect. When grief becomes complicated, when you visualize a horrible incident over and over and you can't seem to get beyond it then please go for help. When you are dealing with trauma, remember that the body is protecting itself automatically from harm. It is not a sign of weakness. How often to you hear, “I am strong and they are not.” If you are one who thinks you are strong, think why? What have your struggles been? Under the right circumstances anyone can suffer and that has nothing to do with weakness. I have a simple philosophy if there is an act that hurts someone, than it is my business. When I see women being killed because someone thinks they are personal property, than it is my business. If I see a child being molested than it is my business. If I see someone controlling another against their will than it is my business. If we have terrorism in the world than it is my business. If we have a planet that is dying because we have abused it, than it is my business. If we have a country that allows its people to starve than it is my business. If we have children in the world suffering than it is my business. If you are suffering why not take the first step to help yourself. If you are feeling suicidal because you have lost hope, have lost yourself than walk into an emergency hospital or clinic or see someone to help you regain your hope because hope can be regained. Try taking a step back from the overwhelming emotions you may be feeling and find that one person who will help you because there is good in this world. You just need to find it. What do you think?