Suicide

Well I finished a two day workshop of sorts for suicide prevention, intervention and post- vention strategies. I have had my fair exposure to suicide prior to even being a therapist and mostly having to do with work. I became a therapist because I wanted to understand human behaviour and I now do, but it does not mean that I don’t get mad. Every year when I go to confession, it is the same. I have no patience. I like to go to someone I know, so it is quick, and easy (painless). That does not mean that I do not try to be more patient. That means, I like my own style of confession. For the last few months I have been attending every conference, seminar, workshop that I have been invited to. I have also taken two outside my own disciplines for 4 days, as well as attending many more several hour information sessions regarding elder abuse, fraud etc…….Knowledge is important to me. If I could find a part time PHD level to enter right now, I would. I do not believe in wasting time getting more than one BA or MA when I can advance to the next level and the next level is a PHD or equivalent. I have been dealing with the topic of suicide more so since starting my practice. I did learn on this two day course, but I also knew most of it. However, I also learn from everyone else and that is why I love actually going to school. I have taken only two courses on the internet, one being an elective in undergrad. Whenever I needed a break from psychology I would take an English course. That would clear my head. I still love to read and write for fun and I must admit, I contemplate retiring again and just writing books. However, I take a long time to make important decisions, weighing all my options. I have two passions. I love to help people and have been doing so in all my careers and I love to write stories. I have still to finish my third book which is annoying but I think the next ones after that will be about therapy and one about theology or pastoral. I have lots of ideas to write but for somethings like this third book, I just need to be left alone for two weeks to bring all my plots together and that is not possible right now. However, I will make it a priority as soon as I catch up, once again. Don’t get me wrong. Self care for me is a priority and I ensure I have lots of fun in my life and do things I like with people I like. I suggest you make that a priority too. You cannot help others, if you cannot care for yourself. Now for some tidbits from my manual, Suicide Prevention, Intervention & Postventions Strategies, 2015. P 5. Approximately one million people kill themselves worldwide each year = one suicide every 40 seconds. It is presumed that this is much higher because “in most countries many suicide death statistics are hidden in undetermined injury reports.” In Canada, my beautiful country, about 3,700 people commit suicide annually, approximately 10 people a day. In some psychology courses I have learned that in Canada, though more women try to kill themselves, elderly men are the highest among anyone to commit suicide. I may have written about that in earlier blogs or some are yet to come. I can’t retire until all my notes are out there as well as a few therapy books of one kind or other. The college likes that kind of stuff. Looks like I should be teaching too. They like that kind of stuff too. I actually like teaching - on my to do. I think it is important to reach out to the average person. That’s enough about the two day session course. Now I would like to talk to those of you who want or are thinking of committing suicide. Please don’t do it. You may think no one cares but I see so many people out there volunteering at crises centres, starting various charities etc…because they care about regular people just like you. There are those on the internet who have encouraged young people to commit suicide and that is where I have a problem with patience, because that really gets me mad. December is a wonderful time for many. It is my favourite holiday. I say Merry Christmas to everyone unless I know that someone hates Christmas or finds it offensive. I embrace all religions and if I know that there is a festive season for another, I will wish them a good or happy this or that as it pertains to them, because quite frankly if there is a reason to celebrate, I celebrate. I really love Christmas and this is the time of the year that I make time for everyone in my life, I may have been neglecting because of one thing or another. But as much as I realize how much I love Christmas and what it means to me, I know that there are others who are so sad and feeling hopeless at this time of the year. I cannot fathom how much sadness some people experience but I can empathize. In my previous working life while in a car or walking, I always talked to people and always found a teen or two who was suffering. It is amazing how effective being there for someone is. Normally I would recommend they talk to a professional and some tried but they didn’t like the therapist, or felt that the therapist was only learning etc….. If you are one of those people needing help and felt it did not help you in the past, don’t give up. In almost every community there are charity organizations to help you, if you cannot afford to pay for it. First and foremost I recommend a person who is actually qualified to help you. I am amazed at how many people provide psychotherapy and are not qualified to do so and I am dancing circles that it will be controlled, at least here in Ontario. In Ontario you must have at least a Masters, and belong to a college. Masters is the bare minimum, not including all the additional schooling within the field of choice and endless practimums (my opinion). A psychiatrist is a medical doctor with about 3 years of psychology. Then there are psychologists, social workers and now Registered Psychotherapists. The person you should be seeing must belong to a college for the work that they do. There is a certain amount of education, ethics and various criteria to remain. Education is a constant. There are people out there making lots of money for something they are not qualified to do. Be careful. Check them out. Take a look at their certificate and look up the college and find their name. If the person states that they belong to the college and do not, feel free to report them. This made me mad in undergrad to learn that anyone could hang up a shingle and say they were a therapist. Those days are slowly coming to an end and now they either have to go back to school or stop. My question is why not want to be qualified for what you do? Can you imagine a medical doctor practising without credentials? I am sure that has happened? Would you accept, “Well I have been doing it for 20 years.” Dahhhhh!!!??? In the old days, if you had therapy yourself, apparently you could have provided it yourself. I had to shake my head, when I heard that. So, please see someone who is qualified to help you. Even if the person is qualified, but there is a lack of comfort with the person, see someone else. When my wonderful physician retired, I went to interview about three before I found someone I liked going to. Now they thought they were interviewing me, but it works both ways. No therapist should have a problem with you leaving them, if they are not a good fit, for you. I would prefer anyone not feeling comfortable with me, to just keep going to someone else until they find that someone they consider a good fit for them. There are many support groups and crises lines available. You can look it up on line, in the phone book, at a community resource etc…….Be careful with who you meet on line. You do not know who they are. Too many hide behind false images. Don’t be impressed by what these people tell you. They may be predators. I do not believe in lost causes. I believe that anyone no matter what they have suffered can re-discover a purpose to live again. Sometimes, you can be so consumed with hopelessness, and you become so immersed, that you cannot find a hand that may be reaching out to you. If you are a student who is failing or you are not getting the mark you want, regardless of your culture, there can still be a wonderful productive way of growth. If you are suffering any kind of abuse, report it and if that person does not help you, go to someone else. Pick up the phone, tell a trusted friend. No one has the right to make you feel less than you are and no one is better than you. They make think it, but really, that is their problem, and do not let it become yours. Teachers, do not allow bullying at school for any reason. I must admit that I am stunned that it still happens. Children and teens need to be protected. If you are victimized by anyone, either physically, emotionally, sexually etc…report it and get help. Don’t fall for it being your fault or that your family will be killed. Regardless, of what you may be told of the police, they can help you. If you are in an abusive relationship and want out, begin an escape plan. There are shelters and resources to help you. Why not take some time this Christmas season to look at your life and decide for yourself that you do deserve better, even if you feel from having had a horrible life and being convinced of the opposite. No parent owns you. They are liable. Please take that one step to get help and take it as slow as you need to. Life is so precious and we can do so much. Why not take your own stand today. Now, close your eyes and take yourself somewhere that makes you happy. What do you hear, feel and with your eyes closed what do you see? Take a few moments to be aware of your breathing. Breathe in through your nose and get all that awfulness within you out through your mouth. Breathe in deeply via your nose and exhale completely through your mouth. When you are ready, bathe yourself in peacefulness and then take a moment to think about what you really want in life. You can find a way to it, if you want. It may not be easy but it is possible. What do you think?