Allow people to grieve

              Whenever there is a loss of life, there is enormous suffering for those who remain behind.  I have had quite a few sessions, seminars and practicum with those dying and those grieving.  I have heard the voices of those dying and suffering that will remain with me and not for print.  What I have learned is that people need to grieve.  Allow that please.  

     Many people project their own feelings on others.   I feel this way, therefore, you should feel this as well.  I emptied my mother’s closet a month after her death and therefore you should have emptied your daughter’s closet after one year.  There is so much judgment, which should be replaced with love and support.    

     People need to be allowed to grieve in their own way.  No demands should be placed on their shoulders than they already have.  People grieve differently and need not to be judged.

    Grief may also open doors to re-examine friendships regarding the support or lack of it from family and friends. 

     If you are grieving, allow yourself the time to do so, if it is what you need.  If you want to return to work and be busy sooner than others think you should, go by what you feel.  Being busy can help.  If you are feeling any type of guilt, remember that it is common.  If I did this, than maybe……….

     If you are supporting someone who is grieving do so by listening.  This is not the time to talk about your own aches and pains.   This is a time when it is not about you, but how you can support someone you care for.  Sometimes grief can tear people apart, but it can also be a time when people become closer and united in sorrow.