Grief

These last two weeks, my study lectures have been around the topic of grief.  I have been providing you with information about human development and I would like to continue with that sporadically, but I am pausing for grief.  I have been provided with  a long list of recommended books, that I will eventually read.  But for today, I will recommend one that I have used and found very helpful.  It was given to me at a senior home.  It is titled, Time Remembered, A Journal for Survivors by Earl A. Grollman, Beacon Press, Boston, Massachusetts; 1987. I have been told that the exercises within, have been found very useful.   This is a book, I like to loan out when someone is grieving.  Page 33, provides a list of body reactions to the death of someone you love.  It can cause sleep disturbances, difficulty in breathing, a tightness in the throat or chest, low energy, sudden weight loss or gain, headaches and backaches, susceptibility to breathing upsets, constant colds and sore throats.  It can also cause dizziness and blurred visions.  This is your body's response to the mental turmoil you feel.  People grieve differently and for different reasons.  It depends on the relationship you had with that person, on how the person died, etc...What is important is that how you will grieve or are grieving is particular to you.   You will need support.  You will need to talk about it.  Sometimes, you will need to seek out a therapist to help you with your feelings, especially if you feel overwhelmed and it does not seem to go away.  Your voice and feelings need to be heard and understood.  What is worse than hearing that you should be over it?  Sometimes, people mean well but do more harm.  Why not think of your loved one and the good time you shared.  Try to think of your loved one when he or she was healthy.  Why not write him or her a letter, if you can.  You may keep it or destroy it, but try it.  If the life you had together was abusive, this is where you can begin to heal.  Give yourself your own time to grieve in your own way.  It takes time.   What do you think?