Affairs and Couple Counselling

Is it possible to work on your marriage and still have an affair?  Personally, I won't work with a couple who is not willing to let go that extra party.  Why?  Because how do you work on your marriage, if you do not close the exits?  What is an exit?  It can be an affair, another life on the web, a tool shed.......It is your escape from your marriage.  Everyone needs their own personal time.  That is not what I am saying.  However, if you are having an affair, you are not giving your marriage the attention it needs.  Why don't you examine today, your relationship with your partner?  In couple counselling, you each tell the other how you feel.  It is about listening to the other, really listening.  It is about equal time, equal respect and equal effort.  Our template in our relationships, is our own family background, our early relationships.  Something to think about.  Where are you in your relationship with your partner?