A while ago I watched this true story “of an Oregonian father who plays tribute to his teenage son, Jadin embarking on a self-reflection walk across America to speak to heartland citizens about the real and terrifying costs of bullying.” I recommend it for all high schools. Since my notes are hidden due to the staging of my home, now is the time to share.
I have changed names and a few other things to keep the people’s identity hidden.
Myself and my fellow interns were provided with a tour of the hospital so we could decide where we wanted to work. My heart was set on working in the ward for general medicine because I thought it would be the most interesting. This was a ward where patients were waiting to be diagnosed. It was during that tour that my mind changed because the head person of a ward told us we were needed. No one was interested in working with HIV and so I volunteered, not because it was my choice, but simply because I was needed. And so I was assigned to work with HIV and cancer patients as well as palliative care. Now let me tell you about Phil. I used to see Phil everywhere laying down on his portable bed, in the elevator, the hallway, and going to and from somewhere in the hospital. I always talked to him about one thing or the other and never received a response, until I did. We talked a bit and then I went to casually inform the Head, that the patient had spoken. “That’s impossible.” I was informed and off she went to confirm her theory. She returned hyperventilating and excited. “It’s a miracle! He spoke. He doesn’t.”
I asked about Phil’s family and she called the family to be let down. She had spoken to Phil’s mother who wanted to know if he had insurance. When she learned he didn’t have any money for her, she said she wasn’t interested in seeing her dying son. You see, Phil was kicked out of the house when he was thirteen years old because he was gay. I spent time with Phil after that and brought him a rosary because he told me he was Catholic. When I gave him the rosary, his eyes lit up and I never saw him without the rosary again. It was a cheap rosary and I was chastised for giving away too many rosaries. I immediately stated that I would initiate a fund raiser for rosaries which was dismissed immediately. I continued to give out rosaries. Phil had a brother and he suddenly showed up one day and provided him with the support he needed - family. Since, in private practice I have seen quite a few people afraid of exposing their sexuality, mainly because of the fear of how their parents, fellow colleagues and society will react. That is a heavy burden to carry. I often tell clients, Toronto is the best place to be who they truly are but still they decide and it is their decision to remain in the closet so to speak. They may be single or married but they are living with a weight that they cannot be themselves because of the judgment of others. So please do watch Joe a father who loved his son so much that he began to walk across America because his son committed suicide. I have never suffered so much as when I worked in that hospital. I saw so much pain and I was working everyday for about six weeks which was too much without a break. Not only was I working at the hospital but also seeing clients on days I was free. I wouldn’t do that to a student. Of course I was seen as more than a student by my supervisor and he was right. It is so easy to judge others who may be different than ourselves. Next time you want to make fun of someone, take a good look at the mirror and ask yourself, why? What do you think?
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