Peel Committee Against Woman Abuse. Continues : An Emotional Safety Plan

The experience of being abused and verbally degraded is usually exhausting and draining. Find support: Attend as many crises counselling group sessions as possible. Join support groups of other women. Become involved in community activities to reduce feeling isolated. Find a part time job to reduce isolation and improve finances. Enrol in school to upgrade skills. Take time for yourself to read, mediate, play music etc… Spend time with people who make you feel good and provide support. Take time in social activities eg. movies, dinner, exercise. Take care of your sleep time and nutritional needs. Keep your client profile up to date to help you feel prepared for up coming events. Keep a journal to write about your feelings. Keep it in a safe place or burn it. Take time to prepare yourself emotionally before entering stressful situations like talking to your partner, meeting with lawyers or attending court. Limit yourself to one appointment per day to reduce stress. Be creative and do what makes you feel good. Write something positive about yourself each day. Don’t find comfort in drugs, alcohol and food. It is ok to feel angry. Find positive and constructive ways to express it. This is what I am going to add: Partners who are abusive try to isolate you from friends/family. Siblings or other important people in your life will be put down by your partner. Be careful. This may be the beginning. The more isolated you are, the more your partner will try to control you. Be aware of the honeymoon effect. I have written about it previously. The Police will help you. They are not the bad guys/gals, your partner is. Check out the support they may offer you. The list above may be too much for you. Look at what is manageable for you. Try something and then add to it when you are ready. Toronto has a lot of free resources. Call 211 for what is available to you. Be kind to yourself. Some may feel shame for what is happening to them. This can happen to anyone. Also, men too are abused by their partners which often causes additional shame since they are men and the culture believes this cannot happen to them. Often in their cases, it may not be taken seriously. This series will continue with a child’s safety plan.