You may sign your condolences for this beautiful Police Dog who died protecting his partner. Such a tragedy for this two year old

https://www.tps.ca/media-centre/stories/tragic-loss-of-police-dog/

How do Children Remember? Research by Dr Thanujeni Pathman, Associate Professor, Department of Psychology at York University and a bit about me.

“This presentation examines what we know about children’s memory and the factors that support memory development. Learn about changes that are occurring in the brain as kids get older and the sophisticated memory abilities in young children. Viewers will also learn about the implications of child development research for forensic settings (eyewitness testimony) and education.” I attended the one hour lecture. Initially I found it dry. I studied memory and aging at York University in my undergrad so much was a refresher for my grey cells. However, it soon became interesting as new good stuff came up. Research is so important, though it was clinical work that interested me. Dr Pathman spoke of her research, in the lab and at the Toronto zoo during a camp week with children. For parents interested in having their children participate in any of the research find the parents page and if there is a study age related for a child, you can sign up. There will be a video of this session probably in a week. Look up York University Scholars alumni for an u tube video. I can keep an eye for it if you are interested and post it for you. What I found new for me and very interesting is that event memories emerges in infancy. This has been my view for ages but now there is evidence to support it. My question to her was: Are there memories before birth? For ages, people have refuted my belief. Here is my happy dance. There have been studies when a child is in the womb, when stories are read and music played. There is evidence that after birth the child is able to show familiarities to those materials and also to recognize voices heard when in the womb. Another area of interest to me is forensics regarding the idea of children not being able to be believed. Remembering my own military police training (ages ago) we were informed that testimony of children was unreliable due to exaggeration. However, as a Psychotherapist the memory of horrific sexual abuses people have experienced even as babies is remembered. They can remember clothing and who abused them, too often a parent and their friends. I see people who have come from throughout the world and too often their abusers are dead. I often think there is a pandemic of child sexual abuse. In Canada we have to report the sexual abuse of children, but we notify them of our reporting and confidentiality regulations. When people are notified what I have to report, how many people will be open? Anyhow, back to the session. There will be more research conducted and so there will be evidence for therapists to provide in court regarding a child’s testimony. Anyhow, that is all for now. Someone asked the question if more memory is remembered in real life rather than screen time. During screen time, though it is possible to learn, it is better to learn when more engaging. I am also going to add that note taking by hand is best to retain memory than typing notes on your computer. I still take notes by hand even though I can’t read my writing at times. I also prefer attending conference live, but by attending on line, I have the opportunity to attend more. Anyhow, what I thought was going to be boring, turned out to excite me. Saturday I shall be attending a sister’s of crime event again by my American sisters. It will be regarding how IT will effect us as writers. I am thinking of adding an IT component in my next serial killing book so I need to learn as much as possible about it. Unfortunately I had to miss a few on the topic but I need to make it a priority from now on. That’s it for now. I will be attending a Mississauga meet your local author, with me there selling and signing my books. I missed Word on The Street and didn’t do any signing what so ever so I want to be more motivated for that as well. So much to do. Anyhow, have a nice week. I don’t know if I shall have the time to write more this week, but I want to cut and paste one of my books for you. My publisher is now reading Ominous, so wish me luck. I have more to talk about that too. What do you think?

Peel Committee Against Woman Abuse. Continues : An Emotional Safety Plan

The experience of being abused and verbally degraded is usually exhausting and draining. Find support: Attend as many crises counselling group sessions as possible. Join support groups of other women. Become involved in community activities to reduce feeling isolated. Find a part time job to reduce isolation and improve finances. Enrol in school to upgrade skills. Take time for yourself to read, mediate, play music etc… Spend time with people who make you feel good and provide support. Take time in social activities eg. movies, dinner, exercise. Take care of your sleep time and nutritional needs. Keep your client profile up to date to help you feel prepared for up coming events. Keep a journal to write about your feelings. Keep it in a safe place or burn it. Take time to prepare yourself emotionally before entering stressful situations like talking to your partner, meeting with lawyers or attending court. Limit yourself to one appointment per day to reduce stress. Be creative and do what makes you feel good. Write something positive about yourself each day. Don’t find comfort in drugs, alcohol and food. It is ok to feel angry. Find positive and constructive ways to express it. This is what I am going to add: Partners who are abusive try to isolate you from friends/family. Siblings or other important people in your life will be put down by your partner. Be careful. This may be the beginning. The more isolated you are, the more your partner will try to control you. Be aware of the honeymoon effect. I have written about it previously. The Police will help you. They are not the bad guys/gals, your partner is. Check out the support they may offer you. The list above may be too much for you. Look at what is manageable for you. Try something and then add to it when you are ready. Toronto has a lot of free resources. Call 211 for what is available to you. Be kind to yourself. Some may feel shame for what is happening to them. This can happen to anyone. Also, men too are abused by their partners which often causes additional shame since they are men and the culture believes this cannot happen to them. Often in their cases, it may not be taken seriously. This series will continue with a child’s safety plan.

Peel Committee Against Woman Abuse. Continues…At work

Each woman must decide when and if she will tell others about her abusive partner. You may choose to do if any of the following: Tell your employer, the security operations and other key people or friends. Ask to have your calls screened at work. It would help to have these calls documented. Discuss the possibility of having your employer call police if you are in danger from your ex partner. When arriving or leaving work: let someone know when you’ll be home. Carry your keys in your hands. get a remote or keyless entry car door opener. Walk with someone to your car (security may also do that). Scan the parking lot (I would add to park where there are security cameras as close as possible to where you will be working). Walk around your vehicle, look under the hood and check if anything has been tampered with and check brakes. Remember to keep your car seats forward, so you know if someone is hiding in the vehicle. If your partner is following you, drive to a place where there are people to support you eg. a friend’s house; police station. If you have underground parking consider parking across the street. Keep a sign in your car with “call police”. When walking ensure it it populated. Keep changing patterns of when you arrive/leave work and other places. If you see your ex partner on the street try to get to a public place, eg store. Call attention to yourself and request help. Next: An Emotional Safety Plan

Taking advantage of the summer

I noticed that the three day conference I posted regarding systemic family therapy didn't quite work. Oh well, the actual courses are not listed yet but it should be a great event. I love the American Conferences but unfortunately can only attend virtually because of Mr Attitude. They have a big one in London England and that is a country I tried to go to about three times. I talk about that in my bio. www.silvaredigonda.ca. Well I had to bring my car in but no worries, they needed a part which was of no cost to me, so it appears that my new old car should do me well. I actually really like it. It doesn't look so big when it isn't beside my old car. I actually got attached to that car and feel like I abandoned it for a newer model. Imagine getting attached to a car. I seem to get attached to all my cars and pets. I worked out all the details with my publisher and now that is good to go. This Saturday the Sisters of Crime have a guest speaker talking about self publishing so I need to find the time to attend. It is only an hour and a half so I better make the time. It is the advertising and getting my face out there. People seem to like me at events so I need to be more visible in person. If you are in Toronto and have a book club or book store, I am available. I am planning for next summer. I went to the Bloor festival as the pick of the week and though they have vendors I would have to supply my own table, chair and tent. What do I look like, Superwoman? There has to be something more realistic like you supply the table, tent and chair and I will supply my books and bring my own pen. How does that sound? I still have lots to supply you with but I have also been cheating and having more fun. Also, beause of my injured leg I have also joined a mini gym so I can use the bicycle which has less stress on the leg or so my physio therapist tells me. He prefers that I swim but there is no parking at the place I really want to join. I also like to spend more time having fun because I have been working very hard and I must practice what I preach. Mr Attitude wasn't feeling so well last night and so I prayed until he got better. Like I said, I get attached to my pets. He is now fine once again. Summer is so short and we need to enjoy it when we can. That's all for now. New car, good as new leg (almost)and Mr Attitude is still alive. I am also spending any free time reading for fun. Good talk. Next : Creating a safety plan to get away from your abusive partner continues on Thursday.

Event Registration - 2023 Systemic Family Therapy Conference

Event Registration - 2023 Systemic Family Therapy Conference

I am still here. Busy busy busy My dealership just provided me with one year free roadside/towing. What does that tell me?

This time when I brought my car in for oil change etc..I was informed that my car cannot endure another winter. So, I had to quickly find another car, not that I haven't been looking. However, I need to go out of town twice for an important family event and that is why I bought a car I would not have ever considered. It has almost 200,000 miles. It is huge and I like small, especially in Toronto where I can squeeze in for parking and not have an accident when driver's are on the phone and cross their lanes. I mean if you have read my bio, you would have discovered that I trained on 2 1/2 ton trucks but that wasn't in Toronto. I actually did prepare to buy a fiat and called the family owned business. I was so sure I would buy it that I prepared the insurance company for it. I went to see it and guess what? I did love the car with red leather seats and white exterior but you see there was a complication. There was no battery in the car and when I saw tape used to connect stuff in the engine and a daggling plastic thing, well what would you do? On top of that there was a car with a car tarp on it blocking my car from ever going to a test run. I was stunned and that is hard to do. The family manager informed me that I had not made an appointment for a test run. Apparently telling her I was coming to see the car did not include I might want to drive it to see if it feels good to buy? Well after all that and I was "pissed" I decided to just buy the other car from my dealership. It is the last German vehicle they have because now everything is made in countries where labour is cheap. When I checked the car I wanted to buy, apparently the Italian made Fiat was not made in Italy, but in Syria. Whats this about? However, because the car was so pretty and I was desparate for a car I would have done it anyway except for this family manager failing to meet the grade. I did tell her that in all of my buying of cars this was the worse. The last time was bad for wasting my time and dance which I do not do when purchasing but this took the cake. So, I am picking up the big new car which has increased my insurance to a rediculous amount. I called CAA and they quoted me 650 cheaper. Guess where I am going? I will get more for my money and they also added perks to beat. Now if I stay with this insurance company I am covered for earthquake, etc.... but not with CAA but you know what? I just make the total move because if I just cover my house, my rates will increase 35%. So, this is why I haven't written to you. I have been pulling my hair (metaphorically speaking because, actually, I do not do that). I also have news about Ominous. I decided to stick to my own publisher since I trust her and it should be out by next February or March and I retain all rights. I will talk about that hopefully next week, unless the sky falls. I know I haven't finished with tips for women running away from their abusive spouses. Men like it too. It's coming. If you want to make me feel better you may buy one of my books which I will mail in any part of the world regardless of politics, religions etc.....Books are good for the soul for everyone. If you have problems ordering let me know because I pay more than I should for that too. Check it out....www.silvaredigonda.ca In the meantime I have posted a horse and buggy which is the norm in St Jacobs Ontario. I spent a wonderful day there, checking out the market and being mistaken for a local in town by a nice gentleman. I can get used to a calmer place than my boisterous city, but what the heck. There is no place like home. Or, is there? Niagara Falls? Have a good weekend. I am afraid this is all I got to give this week. What do you think?