Happy Canada Day

I love holidays. Canada Day is tomorrow and once again there are events all over the city. The States celebrate Jul 4 th and I have been at two of their events, once at Disney World and another near Virginia Beach. Give me a reason to celebrate and I am in. I wish the entire world a wonderful weekend. Find those moments of serenity and peace. I still pray that wars will cease cold or otherwise. We live in such a beautiful planet. Let's unite and take care of it and all who lives. Later.

This is an event for men in abusive relationships from their perspective. It is free and on line. It should be global.

For Love of Country - Military Policewoman For your own ebook or book, order on line from me at www.silvaredigonda.ca

The following morning, we were rushed out of bed by our senior course leader. She was one of us, a new recruit, and had been appointed our leader for the day. This was to become a ritual, to give us the opportunity to demonstrate our leadership abilities. I soon learned that food would taste better after missing several meals. The day was spent compiling a will. I named my father executor and chose Rose as an alternate should anything happen to my father. (Rose chose me to do the same.) The day would not be complete before receiving our vaccinations. The side effect was exhaustion. Other women suffered headaches, and some felt so ill they were sent to the hospital. The feeling that I had been here a month rather than three days began to weigh. That night I slept soundly. The next morning I received a letter from my mom and Sam. These letters would become an important event in our daily lives away from home. In class we learned about the military rank structure. We were all at the bottom – privates. After four years as a private, the rank of Corporal is attained. After that the structure continues by promotion: Master Corporal, Sergeant, Warrant Officer, Master Warrant Officer and Chief Warrant Officer. Then there are the Commissioned Officers: a cadet parallels us. This is followed by Lieutenant and Captain (parallel to Corporal), Major, Lieutenant Colonel, Colonel, and General. There are also four levels of generals. The day was mostly spent marching. We also viewed a film about drugs and their effects. At one point we gathered in the auditorium where we were welcomed and informed that we had been selected from a vast group of potential recruits across Canada because it was believed we were the best. Here that would be proven or disproven. This was the first day that I did not feel tired since arriving in Cornwallis. The following day we received our “kit,” which consisted of more uniforms and other military accessories. The entire day was spent on fitting and refitting into standard sizes. In between we were taught how to shine shoes and sew. I had to sew a name tag to my housecoat and after three attempts, I was informed to try harder in the future. We were told to ask when we did not understand anything. When someone did ask for any clarification, they were treated as if they were stupid and informed that the thinking could not all be done for them. Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman.

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Peel Committee Against Woman Abuse. Continues……..In the Neighourhood: When not living with abusive partner

Tell your neighbours to call police if they hear a fight or screaming in your home. Tell people who care for your children who has permission to retrieve them. Let your neighbours know that your partner no longer resides with you and ask them to call police if they see him/her near your home. Provide a photo and description. Ask neighbours to watch your children in an emergency. Hide clothing and your Emergency Escape Plan items at a neighbour’s house if possible. Use different grocery stores and shopping malls and shop at hours different from those when your lived with your partner. Use a different bank or branch and take care of your banking at hours different from when you were living with your abusive partner. Choose another doctor, dentist and other professional services you would normally use (My tid bits: It is not always easy nowadays to even find a doctor so if you decide to keep your health providers I would suggest you brief them of your circumstances so they can alert you if your ex partner tries to attend and/or get information about you. Abusers are usually smooth talkers and will try to make you look like the abuser. In my home office I have an exterior camera , panic alarm to police, intrusions alarm and fire alarm. So let your therapist know what is going on, including your fears etc…I have found that some men are embarrassed about their situation. Don’t be. You are not alone.) Do not put your name in your apartment building directory (or place another name there while informing building management and the post office). To be continued with at work.

Voting Day in Toronto today and Fairbanks Summerfest

Well, one of the beauties of living in a democratic society is voting for whom we want. We have 102 people wanting the Mayor's spot and a dog is somewhere in there. I will be so glad when this is over because all I have been hearing about is who to vote for, who endorses who etc....It will be nice to take a break. Many people do not vote and that is too bad. People in history have struggeled to be able to vote and that should never be taken for granted. My attitude is whoever wins - wins. Good or bad. I do hope that there will be a revision to future possibilities of being a Mayor. Right now it appears that anyone, criminal, animal, discontent etc....can apply. We should have some qualifications, perhaps an IQ test. This weekend was full of festivities in Toronto and this time I chose the Fairbanks Summerfest. It was full of children and it was difficult not to walk over one. They had lots of free rides, free popcorn and other free items. This is the Toronto I love. I was also going to go to a community BBQ but by then the sweat and heat was too much. So, I bought lots of ice cream to bring home. I have posted a photo of a 1988 police car next to a current one. Ignore the lady in the photo.

For Love of Country - Military Policewoman www.silvaredigonda.ca

At 9: 45 the next morning we were awakened. The entire day was spent socializing. The girls were very friendly. It became quite clear that privacy and time to myself would no longer be a possibility, as we continued to hear about the endless rules. We were not permitted to close the doors to our rooms unless we were dressing. I started to hang around with a girl named Mary Oster. She was a real country girl with a hearty laugh and wonderful sense of humour. She spoke of her several brothers and how she used to kill the rats stalking her barn. Her dream was to marry and have half a dozen children. (This wonderful, happy woman would be emotionally destroyed fifteen years later, and die shortly thereafter.) Before the day was over, two girls had asked to be allowed to leave. The military, each had said, was not for her. They departed or rather were “released.” I was okay so far. I must have learned a hundred rules that day, as well as how to make the perfect bed. It only took one hour to accomplish the feat. Two of the other women were shouted at, without reason, and some began to taunt me for having an unusual name and for being of Italian descent. That night I slid carefully into my bed, to avoid making it in the morning. The following morning, I tucked the blanket and sheet under the mattress, which was all the bed required to look fresh. That morning I attended a lecture regarding fires and learned more procedures. After the lecture we lined up for uniforms, which they called work dress. Later, in the common room, two of the women pressed mine for me after watching me struggle with the iron. Washing clothes I managed to handle myself. The meals were a disappointment. The food was actually terrible – tasteless and soggy: not at all what I had expected. I had been assigned to a work detail which consisted of scrubbing, washing and polishing the exit section of the barracks. Already I was beginning to miss home and felt like I had been at the camp for a month. Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman.

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Peel Committee Against Woman Abuse. Continues……..If you are not living with your abusive partner.

If you are not living with your abusive partner: Change the locks on the doors and windows. Install a peephole in the door. (In my previous careers one of the problems with peepholes is that a perpetrator would be able to push it out and see inside). Change the locks on your garage and mailbox. Again children should not answer the doors themselves. Keep your restraining order with you always. Ensure the school, day care and police have copies of all court orders, including restraining orders, custody and access orders as well as a picture of the abusive partner. Can you predict the next likely violent incident? Be prepared. If you have call display be careful about who can get access to the stored numbers (eg. last number dialled). Have an unlisted number and ensure your own number is blocked when calling. Have pre-programmed numbers of people to call. Contact your local Victim Services to inquire about their supports for you. -Consider moving your furniture around differently, something your partner won’t anticipate (unless he reads this) and cause him to trip or bump into it which would alert you that someone is in your house. Put your kitchen utensils and knife block in the cupboards. If you live in an apartment, check the area when you come out of the elevator and walk towards your apartment. Alert security. Purchase rope ladders to escape from your elevator ( I would really raise this as a possible problem. You would already be scared and you don’t want to fall). Consider putting wires around your balcony (again check with the rules of your building). Replace wooden doors with steel/metal doors if possible (ensure the pins cannot be removed by the exterior). Install smoke detectors and fire extinguishers for each floor. Consider a guard dog. Install outside a lighting system which lights up when a person is coming close to your house. Install security systems. To be continued with In The Neighbourhood. A reminder that this was provided by the Peel Committee against Woman Abuse. I provided my own comments in brackets as a precaution to think about. Police Stations also have community support where you can go and ask questions.

Mr Attitude - Finding it very warm today so watched a video of my beast to cool me off

Italian Festival not like it used to be - but you know what? That's ok.

Someone asked me if I was going to the Italian festival and I said no. Then I was asked why not? I said there were too many Italians. Is that how I felt? Of course not. Then I was asked aren't I Italian? I said half. Then I got more and more and more questions. At the spur of the moment after visiting my dad on Father's day, I decided I would go. The real reason I was not going to go is that parking is becoming a big issue, I do not take the TTC and well College is a place I usually drive by. They were also expecting 500,000 people during the weekend and the noise. HOwever, I found parking right at the site for $20.00. I told the man I wasn't going to be more than several hours and of course he said I could stay til 2am, I still had to pay $20.00. We are all funny in Toronto. The parking lot is actually a pay for parking meter but of course they put a man in a booth to get more than what we would normally pay. One guy told me he paid $4.00 so that had been a motivator. Oh well. It was right adjacent to the street and a better parking fee than what I normally have to pay elsewhere. And a bonus was that I didn't need a smart phone since my stupid phone is still working for me. Sorry phone, I don't think you are stupid at all. I had debated where I would go Sunday because as always our city has lots of venues. But, it was an Italian festival and my dad is Italian and so to feel close to him, I went on Father's Day. You see my visit with my dad was at the cemetery. Toronto is mulicultural and so was the Italian festival. I stopped at the Riviera for an espresso (single) and croissant for $5.00. I asked the server to heat the crossant and she told me that it was just made and was still warm. What can I say? It was the best croissant I ever had in my life and I have had many. It just melted in my mouth. Next I walk along the street and hear all kinds of music. It wasn't really Italian music but I can never complain about listening to Pit Bull. I saw a lot of dessert ( I forget what it is called)from South America. I tried it once but it didn't work for me. The pastry was too sweet and more like an old fashion donut which is not for me. However they were selling them everywhere so they must be popular. I found myself in front of the CHIN building and was surprised it was still there. That used to be very popular among the Italian people. Right in front is a place called Rudy. It is now some time since I had my breakfast and so it was lunch time. I might also get some Italian music. I walk into Rudy's which is my maternal grandfather's name and ask if they have anything without meat being served. Nope, so I am walking out when they tell me there is Poutine. I return. "Isn't the gravy made from meat?" I ask, as if they are trying to trick me. Nope the gravy is all vegetarian. They go into details into the production which is Greek to me. Why not? "Small or large?" I'm asked. I take the small with water which costs $11.28. I sit out in the patio and have a taste. Wow. Soooooooo good. I can't believe I never tried this before. I take my time eating the poutine with gusto, sitting across CHIN which reminds me of my Italian dad and on Rudy's patio seating which of course reminds me of my Swiss maternal grandfather who though I never met, I heard so much of from my mom. He used to make her toys for Christmas. When my body begins to ache from the walking due to my physiotherapy (I tell myself), I pick my self up from the booth where I can sit all day. "How did you like the poutine?" I am asked. "Fantastic" I reply. "Who thought I would discover poutine at an Italian festival? I am going to put this on my blog." I know that if this place wasn't so far from my home, I would be a regular. Now I am going to have to order poutine whenever I see it and compare. Is it always this good or just at Rudy's. What is poutine you may ask? It is fries coated in delicious gravy and cheese curds. Mmmmmmmm.

International Families Alliance Webinar Series: Legal Perspectives: Challenges and Strategies on High Conflict Separation. (For Men)

Last night I attended this webinar which focuses on the protection and rights of men. Now some of you reading this will be confused. How can I be concerned about men if I am concerned about women? Simply put, I am concerned about everyone. My experiences with men have been positive. Men have for the most part been my greatest supporters. Since I was a child I was surrounded by men. My mentors have all been men. I grew up with men and I worked with men for most of my life. Yes, some I could have done without, but that only taught me to play nice with others, even when I didn’t want to. We are a product of our all that we have been exposed to and then some. In the fall I will be attending the Men’s conference in Toronto. I am interested in men and their well being. Don’t get me wrong. There are some men I simply can’t stand but need to tolerate. That tis life. I stayed with the webinar last night for an hour and a half as scheduled. Mr Attitude is not happy when I work nights and neither am I so I stayed on schedule. When I left they were talking about PTSD and one lawyer was telling a man that he should get a therapist who won’t write notes because that was his concern. That surprised me because as a Registered Psychotherapist I am obligated to take notes. So let’s get this straight. I am obligated to report, if I believe a client will commit suicide. I have to believe it however. In my career I have heard endless times how someone wants to die without really meaning it. If I believed it, I would report it immediately. I also have to report if my client is going to harm someone. I have to report child abuse. I also have to attend court if subpoenaed. That is the law. I take notes. It is required. However it was not my webinar. Now keep in mind that I am in Ontario. I am regulated. There are provinces in Canada that have no regulations. So, lets get back to the webinar. The same lawyer was bashing a psychologist in court because she wasn't forceful enough. Now, I am not going to say that this lawyer belongs in a different era. What I will say is the psychologist was right. There is no agenda. I have been asked to go to court for clients and I have refused and will probably continue to say no. Why? Because when I see a client and see a client with his or her partner, same gender or otherwise and when I see the family dynamics when family members come aboard there is a constant shift of tension or otherwise. More things come out. There is anger and other emotions which at times come out which open core issues before there is healing. So I don't think it would be fair for me to go to court in favour of one person and that is what I have been seeing in the courts. I don't care who pays me. What I found beneficial is that there are five support groups for men virtually. I found the men on the chat line very open about their feelings and willingness to help other men facing the same problems. One of the lawyers was stating that men have it tough. He suggested that if a man is found not guilty in criminal court to let them know in family court. There is also “hybrid” which didn’t exist during my time. An offence was either Summary or Indictable (more serious). Now hybrid can be either, depending on the Crown. If you want to appeal the decision you can go to superior court. Feel free to ask the clerk what to do. I also didn’t know that in Barrie Ontario, the superior and provincial court are in the same building. Have a nice day.

Peel Committee Against Woman Abuse. Continues.... Creating a Safer Environment

2.Creating a Safer Environment -Review your emergency escape plan often. Have a telephone/cell phone list of local police, nearest women’s shelter, assaulted women’s help line, crisis help line, family members, counsellors, and chidren’s friends. make arrangements with family or friends to stay with them if required. try to predict the next likely violent episode (eg. full moon)and make plans to have the children sent to a safe place (family; friends). Teach children to let you know when someone is at the door before opening the door. Teach children how to contact police and fire department). Create a code word for your children and or friends so they know to call for help. Teach the children how to make a collect call if your partner takes them away. Plan your emergency exits and teach your children. Have your children know their own safety plan. To be continued with “If you are not living with your abusive partner/spouse.”

For Love of Country - Military Policewoman - Now selling to the entire world. Any problems please let me know. silvaredigonda.ca

My thoughts dwelled on the future and all the prospects that were open to me. The rest of the trip to Cornwallis was pleasant. There was a bus ride from the plane, and I marveled at the wooden country houses scattered on the hills. The valley was an inviting welcome for visitors. I felt my heartbeat accelerate with anticipation. Saturday, October 12, we arrived at Cornwallis at 5: 30 PM. The woman shouting at us had short-cropped brown hair. She too was masculine and nondescript. She was telling us how we should make our beds. She spoke of hospital beds and bouncing coins off the mattress. It was rather amusing watching someone barking messages across. After a short speech, or rather a list of instructions, we were shown to our respective rooms. I was amazed at having my own room, which was a fair size. This was to become my home for the following ten weeks. The room was sparsely furnished, with a standard military single bed: basically a single mattress over a brown iron spring frame. A wooden desk and a four-drawer cabinet completed the room. A plain beige curtain framed the window. A greenish mat hid under the bed on the wooden floor. The room was painted two different shades of green, depending on which wall you were facing. There was also a huge metal chest near the bed. This was my new home – grim. I looked out the window and saw rows of white and green wooden buildings surrounded by beautiful trees. I felt I had gone back into time. I was no longer nervous.” Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman.” I will mail my books out to the entire world where there is a post office. No post office? No problem. I also have ebooks. For your copy order directly from me at www.silvaredigonda.ca

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Ontario - Air Quality Health Index (AQHI) - Environment Canada

Ontario - Air Quality Health Index (AQHI) - Environment Canada

Just want to say thank you world for helping us fight our fires

Today I am in my home with windows closed and of course making myself comfortable, because I can be. There is an air quality alert because of the fires in Quebec and Ontario. Of course they have fires out West too. It is unfortunate that the world is not taking global warning seriously. They are too busy causing needless wars and/ or justifying control, or attempting to control other countries, and of course making money as if that will be all that matters in the long run. It won't. Take a wake up pill while you still can. Let's take global warming seriously and stop all this nonsense. We have bigger concerns than petty senseless wars. Now that I ranted for a few sentences, I want to say sorry to New York City because our smoke is causing problems in your own city. I really want to thank the States (including Minnesota)I love my neighours, South Africa, Australia, New Zealand and anyone else that I have missed. When we are in crises, we also see the best in people. Keep safe firefighters as you protect us. Last night I could smell the wood burning. That is what gave me a wake up call.

Woman Abuse - Creating a Safety Plan

Well, a long time ago I promised to provide you with a Peel safety plan which I came to when I was working as an Intern at a Women Crises Centre. No men were allowed inside. I dealt mostly with new immigrants who were being abused by their husbands. In some of the countries they came from they were completely dominated by the culture. This is also brought here and some men will not permit their wives to be without them. Let me be clear. This is Canada and women are afforded the same rights as men. Also know that when you come into this country, if you want to leave your husband, you can. Women here, regardless if they are Canadian or not are subjected to physical, sexual, financial and emotional abuse. I worked at the Crises Centre for a year which afforded me much learning. There is a lot of talk about fearing the police. Let me again be clear. Do not hesitate to call them if you need help. There are women shelters, support staff etc...to help you. Men too are abused but for this series I will be talking to women only since the plan was created for them. This package was compiled by women who have survived and offer their advise to you. The following is a list of items you should try to set aside and hide in a safe place (at a friend's place, or family member's home or with your lawyer (I will add that it never hurts to see a lawyer to check what your rights are. Laws change). 1. An emergency Escape Plan ::Take a photocopy of your passport, birth certificates, immigration papers for all family members, School and vaccination records, driver's license and registration, medications, prescriptions, medical records for all family members, welfare identification, work permits, divorce papers, custody documentation, court orders, restraining orders, marriage certificate. Open a bank account in your own name and arrange that no bank statements or other calls be made to you. Save and set aside as much money as you can - out of groceries if needed. Have enough money for a taxi or Uber. Plan your emergency exits. Plan and practice the steps you will take if you have to leave quickly. Hide extra clothing, house keys, car keys, money etc....at a friend's house you trust. Keep an emergency suitcase/bag handy or to pack quickly. Get a safety deposit box at a bank your partner doesn't use. The Police can bring you back to the home later to remove additional belongings. When you leave take the children if you can. If you try to get them later, the police cannot help you remove them from the other parent unless you have a valid court order. To be continued with 2. Creating a Safer Environment.