Single Parents - Is it enough? continues and concluded

Discussion - Rusults and Conclusion The group (class discussion) agreed that stress and financial aid as well as emotional support are all factors to be considered in single parent families. The group also felt that should the factors be consistent for the single parent family than their success rate in par to a duel family with the same strengths would be very high. The ideal family was considered to be the nuclear or extended family. It was felt that more people in a family offer more emotional support. Some group members believed that the refugee woman had too many benefits which would discourage her from becoming resourceful. Others believed that the benefits were required in order for her to become independent. The majority felt a mate was important for the sole parent to offer emotional support. The ideal work for a single parent was that which offered the children more time with the parent. The majority felt the child was the main concern. A healthy development for the growing years was considered essential. Social assistance was considered imperative but not to be abused. None of the group were single parents. All had two parents living together. Single parent families was considered the trend of the future considering the changes in society. Women becoming more independent are more anxious to risk raising families alone. Men too have accepted the challenge. In view of this, the group feels more research is required in this country. All sources of research excluding the interview were from American texts. Canadian texts were not available in the library (at the time). Single parenting is becoming a new trend in Canada. Women have babies without wanting husbands. Is this fair to the child? Is it another issue? Regardless - is it enough? As an alternative to despair, hate and unhappiness - it is. The research has discovered obstacles such as a poorer standard of living, stress and the requirements of emotional support. It has also shown that this may be overcome by love. “The home…ought to be the safe warm place we all can crawl into.” (Carol Lynn Pearson) Concluded. I received a mark of 85% for that paper. It was a family studies course. As I look at this essay from a therapist’s perspective, I am quite pleased with this high school perception. Of course if I were to do this today, I would want to list how many students, their ages, etc….I would want more info in general from the audience. However, that is high school. I remember one boy in the class laughing when another student was working on a project of special needs. We were watching a film and him laughing at a special needs child irked me. So during discussion I asked what he found so funny. He replied that he found what he was watching disturbing and it frightened him. He was laughing because he didn’t know how to deal with his discomfort. As a therapist now, I would find it very interesting to probe. However, this was mega years ago. I think about the men who I have known raised by single mothers and how wonderful they turned out. One told me his mother held down three jobs to keep the family afloat, after his dad died young. He not only loved his mother dearly, he also held a high level of admiration and love for her. Some others felt smothered as adults. There are many different opinions among therapists who have written books, but what is consistent is that children should feel safe, they should have a routine, and they should have consistency. I will add they should be loved and shown it. I cringed when I heard a woman complain that her foster nephew was clingy and needed to be shoved away from his foster mother because she felt smothered. There is an assumption that mothers automatically know how to raise children. I usually refer single parents who have no clue how to raise children to support facilities. Fortunately in Toronto there are a lot of resources. However, we need to do a better job at having resources for all of Canada. One of the complaints I often hear from children is when they are having quality time with their parent, the parent is on the phone talking to a boyfriend or girlfriend or work. Take that time to be devoted to your child and turn off the phone if it is not an emergency. Degrading a child is also a no no. Comparing siblings is a no no. I have however seen the most dysfunctional families have so much love for each other that you can feel it (In family therapy). Those high school kids I was with were on the right track. They were quite smart actually and I wish the best for them. That is all from this paper. I have trashed it. What is next for you? I have not decided. I still have the ethic notes for you. Oh yes. Today I am attending a York University presentation about families managing the pandemic by Dr Heather Prime. I shall certainly be bringing that to you. What do you think. Always feel free to ask a question or share your own views or experiences.