For those who are interested. I received this email to share the link. I aim to please.

Hello, Thank you for joining us for our recent instalment of the Compassion and Social Justice Series: WHO IS MY NEIGHBOUR: Pluralism & Catholic Health Care on Thursday, May 26th with David Cayley and Dr. Michael W. Higgins, PhD. We are pleased to provide a link to this timely and important discussion, as well as, access to our previous lectures, on our Vimeo Showcase Channel*: https://vimeo.com/showcase/9323983. *Please feel free to share this link with others. The next instalment in this series is planned for the Fall! Watch for information on this in the coming months. With kind regards,

Attachments (notes)

I have already written extensively on Attachment Theory from my undergrad in this blog. In this notebook I am writing from my Pastoral notes. This may be of interest to students or as a refresher for others. 1. Secure Attachment - caregiver responds promptly and consistently to the needs of the child. Feels some stress. 2. Avoidant Attachment - There is little affection, sharing and play as well as little and no response in return (Indifference). 3. Anxious attachment - more distressed. 4. (Chaotic) Disorganized Attachment - Caregiver presents frightening and fearful. Exhibits role of confusion, poor communicators and to mistreat the child. Patterns in the child upon the return of the parent are shown in things as freezing or rocking motions. There is a lack of coherence. Object Relations Theory - internalize attachments and become aware of it. If you could modify one point of attachment/placement what would you change in the position? Think of three to five years of age. What would it ideally look like? This is to empower the client with imagination. If we can imagine, maybe we can have it happen. Object relations is moving from what was to what can be. Of each year of neglect and abuse etc….think of one year of therapy. Able to use as a resource, we come forward enough to help others to heal, assess, emphasize; connect. As I write these notes, I think you should know that the first five years of a child’s life is very important. Some parents simply have no idea how to raise children and thankfully there are many resources in Toronto to help with that. Regarding my notes regarding the duration of therapy, it differs with different people. I would say that one year of therapy for each year of neglect and abuse may be excessive in my opinion. What do you think? Next notes will be a continuation of ethics theology.

It has been a week! Fireworks, Strong Winds and a bit of me

It has been quite a week in Toronto. The fireworks for the long weekend is a continuing disappointment in my city. People were arrested for throwing fireworks at the police, their horses, and towards the crowds. Officers needed treatment. One Police Officer sustained facial injuries because one firework was thrown into his face. People were also robbed. What has my city turned into? One Beaches resident reported on the news that two men were dragging a woman by her hair on the street and they they lit a firework in her face. This is what my city has turned into. Many were arrested. I stopped going to the beaches during the Victoria weekend/Canada Day, when the crowds became so large that I could not find parking. In my own neighbourhood, I stayed home because my pets are scared of the fireworks and there are fireworks all over the place. Mr Attitude was cowering next to my bed on the floor. When I held him, he calmed down. I could see the birds (on my security camera) who live on my front tree flying all over the place because they were scared. So, what I used to really enjoy is no longer a celebration. However, my neighbourhood was well behaved as far as I know. Then we had strong winds which took down trees and hydro wires. I was spared. Uxbridge, a pretty town outside Toronto was devastated. It has been a few years since I went there, hoping to get a ride on their vintage train run by volunteers it appears. They are on go fund me and I certainly donated a bit to help get their train/train station restored. I went on a train ride once North of the city also run by volunteers. They were trying to convince me to move there from Toronto and volunteer at their station. So, cute. My city keeps going downhill, you may just see me greeting tourists for a ride on a train or maybe I can work in the gift shop? All so cute, but not on my bucket list. You never know. Maybe when I reach old, old, age, I may just love doing that. Ok enough fun. Yesterday was a complete me day. Got my hair done, nails, and lunch too. Returned to my stylist of origin and we all reunited as old friends. However, I won't let him cut my hair because he cuts it too short. He coloured my hair blonde and I realize him and I look a lot alike. He too is now blonde. Did I work? Yes of course. Did I attend lectures? Yes. I attended another lecture about the war in Ukraine and the Russians. It didn't have anything to do with the psychology department at york and it was mainly about the historical history. I also attended a lecture for Specialists (physicians)Optimizing Care in Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD): The Role of Emerging Therapies in Improving Patient Outcomes. I don't know who invited me but I am not complaining. Clients who come to me also normally have physical ailments so I will certainly try to expand my knowledge which helps in their care. I won't be adding this to my continuing education since it has nothing to do with Mental Health. You know that mental health, physical health and spiritual health is all be interrelated in my practice. I also attended the "Sisters of Crime" again held on zoom from the States. They had three authors who talked about their books. I hope I didn't delete the email because I wanted to buy a book from them. If I find it, I shall paste the names of the authors. So that was my week to date. Still working today and then it is R&R for this weekend. What do you think? Have a good weekend. I certainly intend to. If you are interested in buying one of my books, don't hesitate. https://www.silvaredigonda.ca

Moral Theology - ethic notes

God is in all things. How do I need to be love? How can I best love by the decisions/choices I am making? If you are making the choice you are desiring, what would it look like? We are made in the image of the Trinity in art pouring love. Practise of Presence. Read the Gospel slowly. Poetry can invoke a calling. Arch Bishop Romero - “If they kill me, I will rise again the people.” A story within a story. As he fell the Eucharist fell, Romero fell and the people and their blood mixed. So, next Bishop was converted. Catholic ethics: Patience? Compassion? Hope? Didn’t want to suffer - total surrender of self. Lonliness/need/ anger. Prayer/concern for others. I must go on. Anguish of his mother. Love for his father/strength. Compassion for the prosecutors. Life/death. Presence of day/darkness. Human, betrayal. Satan tried to tempt him. Patience - Sanctify of Life. Thou shalt not kill. Natural death with dignity. Ordinary means, but not extraordinary means. If burdens outweigh the benefits (eg. series of chemotherapy - not to be obliged to take it) Pius X11 talked about burden. Burdens/benefits. Suffering. What was intended was incarnation. Part of the humanity would suffer for justice and life. How we live is how we die. When we say we walk with someone. Christ suffered, embrace it with love. Also embrace the reality. We become present. We are called to work with compassion and hope. We should be prepared to improve palliative care. Next: Electronic Media

Thoughts are for the children and adults killed and their family, friends and community in Uvalde, Texas

It was with heartbreak hearing what happened in Texas. There is no greater grief than for a parent to lose a child. I cannot imagine how much grief everyone is suffering. I just want to express my sympathies.

The Internet Murder Continues ........Look for me at Word On The Street, Jun 11&12, 22 (Sat & Sun) Queens Park Toronto (Indie Section I should be)

She raised herself up from the soft sofa with a bit of difficulty, to tend to Fr. Francis. She walked slowly to the kitchen. Fr. Francis was still sitting there, her scones untouched. He was praying the rosary. He usually prayed in Church or in his room. She could hear him talking to God sometimes. Sometimes he would be arguing with God. She was sure that God must have a special place in his heart, because she wouldn’t dream of talking to God like that. Fr. Santinelli didn’t talk to God like that. In matter of fact, she doesn’t remember Fr. Santinelli talking to God very much at all. “Now, I wonder why?” she pondered, in a whisper. “Fr. Francis, I have some nice mushroom soup, just the way you like it. Please let me warm up some for you, please Fr. Francis?” “Francis looked up at the frail woman. He thought of her as his own personal angel. She kept him grounded. Her presence provided a sense of normality. She was like a mother to him. “Thank you, Mrs. Delany. I would love some.” Francis didn’t really feel like eating, but Mrs. Delany looked so upset about him that he was concerned about her frailty. He was also very much aware of how he had raised his voice earlier. She beamed with pleasure and walked slowly to the fridge to prepare them both some lunch. ” Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “The Internet Murders.” Apple Books.

My heart is in Buffalo today. White supremacy has got to go.

I was watching a program from the Salt and Light Channel which I got for free as a promotion (I get lots of those and whose complaining. Bring it on!) titled, The Francis Impact and it was after watching the news about the 18 year old white man who shot and killed so many people mostly back except for shooting two white people which probably was accidental. It was the Pope’s words that resonated with me immediately. He was referring to a boat of refugees who had died close to the border where they were seeking the dream of a new life. They all drowned. The Pope said, “We have become used to the suffering of others: it doesn’t affect me; it doesn’t concern me; It’s none of my business! In this globalized world, we have fallen into globalized indifference. This indifference is worldwide.” Those words echoed in my brain because it is so true. In many ways I understand that people need to protect themselves from the overwhelming bad news which is consistent these days. I see it here in my own city. Some how crime, has become out of control. As you know, for those of you who have been reading my blogs for awhile, I had thought we had raised above and evolved from the ignorance of prejudice. Boy, was I so wrong. It is ironic that just before learning about the slaughter at the Grocery Store in Buffalo, I was myself at the grocery store. Walking into the store I saw the cutest little girl, smiling brightly when I told her she was so cute. She was with her young mother, just as bright and happy as her child. They are black. And, actually, that little girl was probably the cutest child I had ever seen. Then after shopping and placing my groceries on my cart, a young man was about to pay for his two beers when he was asked for ID. I looked at him, and his boyish good looks and told him he should be drinking milk. With his bright respectful smile, he told me that he works out at the gym. He was fine. I realized that he did work out. As a therapist dealing with substance and alcohol abuse and knowing that it can start so young for so many reasons, I noted that he had two beers and not a case. It was the weekend, it was sunny and beautiful out. I have a habit of talking to everyone, due perhaps to always having worked in the service of others and belonging to many social groups since I was a youth. I am not what you would call shy. When I got home and later when I watched the nightly news and saw the grief in Buffalo, so close to home, I immediately thought of the young man who was at least 18, because he got the beer and that beautiful child and her mother. It could have easily have been them. People going grocery shopping, minding their own business, enjoying the day and then getting killed by a youth for merely their skin colour which is of course, just pigmentation. Ten people dead and for what? 32 to 86 years old, mostly seniors struck down. This youth travelled 300 miles after checking demographics. He was targeting a black community. A security guard who had been a policeman shot at the 18 year old but unfortunately the youth had body armour protecting him. However this retired policeman who lost his life, probably saved many others. I wonder how the young mother will have to explain prejudice to her pretty daughter? Will that brightness I saw fade as she grows older? How do we find a balance? White supremacy is all of our faults who are white. We can change. We all normally do change and hopefully it can be for the better. We need to speak up more and we need to vote for politicians who can make a difference. I was watching the leaders debate last night and felt like firing the monitors. It got out of control too many times. Politicians were talking over each other and wasting time by doing that. One leader who wouldn’t stop lost my possible vote because it was just too disrespectful. I want to know exactly what each will do, not the bashing of others. I want to know what they will do to reduce crime but much was vague. The green party seemed the most respectful and of course I am concerned about global warming. I am not trying to get off topic but it all comes together. Politics is important in making changes. We need change. Yes, I shall say it. Black lives matter. We cannot have white supremacists grooming and welcoming new disgruntled recruits. We need to disband this hatred. I want to make sure that the little girl I saw at the grocery store and the young man with the beer have the same opportunities and sense of security that I have. I have hope that we will evolve where I thought we were at but that will only happen by hunting down these “white” organizations that have platforms. It is about hate people, promoting hate and allowing that in the pretence of freedom of speech. That freedom is not freedom for all is it? We can only make our world better, if we speak up and refuse to tolerate what is obviously not right. My heart is with Buffalo and all the loss they have suffered. I am glad that the President will be going there today. That will help with the healing process which will take time. We should never get used to the suffering of others. What do you think?

Scholars' Hub @ Home: How families are managing during the pandemic

Single Parents - Is it enough? continues and concluded

Discussion - Rusults and Conclusion The group (class discussion) agreed that stress and financial aid as well as emotional support are all factors to be considered in single parent families. The group also felt that should the factors be consistent for the single parent family than their success rate in par to a duel family with the same strengths would be very high. The ideal family was considered to be the nuclear or extended family. It was felt that more people in a family offer more emotional support. Some group members believed that the refugee woman had too many benefits which would discourage her from becoming resourceful. Others believed that the benefits were required in order for her to become independent. The majority felt a mate was important for the sole parent to offer emotional support. The ideal work for a single parent was that which offered the children more time with the parent. The majority felt the child was the main concern. A healthy development for the growing years was considered essential. Social assistance was considered imperative but not to be abused. None of the group were single parents. All had two parents living together. Single parent families was considered the trend of the future considering the changes in society. Women becoming more independent are more anxious to risk raising families alone. Men too have accepted the challenge. In view of this, the group feels more research is required in this country. All sources of research excluding the interview were from American texts. Canadian texts were not available in the library (at the time). Single parenting is becoming a new trend in Canada. Women have babies without wanting husbands. Is this fair to the child? Is it another issue? Regardless - is it enough? As an alternative to despair, hate and unhappiness - it is. The research has discovered obstacles such as a poorer standard of living, stress and the requirements of emotional support. It has also shown that this may be overcome by love. “The home…ought to be the safe warm place we all can crawl into.” (Carol Lynn Pearson) Concluded. I received a mark of 85% for that paper. It was a family studies course. As I look at this essay from a therapist’s perspective, I am quite pleased with this high school perception. Of course if I were to do this today, I would want to list how many students, their ages, etc….I would want more info in general from the audience. However, that is high school. I remember one boy in the class laughing when another student was working on a project of special needs. We were watching a film and him laughing at a special needs child irked me. So during discussion I asked what he found so funny. He replied that he found what he was watching disturbing and it frightened him. He was laughing because he didn’t know how to deal with his discomfort. As a therapist now, I would find it very interesting to probe. However, this was mega years ago. I think about the men who I have known raised by single mothers and how wonderful they turned out. One told me his mother held down three jobs to keep the family afloat, after his dad died young. He not only loved his mother dearly, he also held a high level of admiration and love for her. Some others felt smothered as adults. There are many different opinions among therapists who have written books, but what is consistent is that children should feel safe, they should have a routine, and they should have consistency. I will add they should be loved and shown it. I cringed when I heard a woman complain that her foster nephew was clingy and needed to be shoved away from his foster mother because she felt smothered. There is an assumption that mothers automatically know how to raise children. I usually refer single parents who have no clue how to raise children to support facilities. Fortunately in Toronto there are a lot of resources. However, we need to do a better job at having resources for all of Canada. One of the complaints I often hear from children is when they are having quality time with their parent, the parent is on the phone talking to a boyfriend or girlfriend or work. Take that time to be devoted to your child and turn off the phone if it is not an emergency. Degrading a child is also a no no. Comparing siblings is a no no. I have however seen the most dysfunctional families have so much love for each other that you can feel it (In family therapy). Those high school kids I was with were on the right track. They were quite smart actually and I wish the best for them. That is all from this paper. I have trashed it. What is next for you? I have not decided. I still have the ethic notes for you. Oh yes. Today I am attending a York University presentation about families managing the pandemic by Dr Heather Prime. I shall certainly be bringing that to you. What do you think. Always feel free to ask a question or share your own views or experiences.

#Freezing Order - A True Story of Money Laundering, Murder and Surviving Vladimir Putin's Wrath by Bill Browder

Wow, what details: corrupted politicians, Putin trying (and unfortunately at times successful)to kill the opposition and critics, Russian spies and killers in Europe and North America. OMG, so unbelievable it has to be true, plus there is an abundance of evidence. Is it Robert Ludlum? Nope, it is Bill Browder, a name worth remembering. He is the author of number one New York Times Bestseller "Red Notice". I do hope that this book evolves into a movie. Putin, Putin, Putin, has got to go. This is a must read for every person including Russians. Oops, half still believe their problems are our fault and why not? Putin decieves, tortures and kills anyone who he views as a threat and that is most of the world who are not his stooges. It did not take long to read, under the sun surrounded by nature, singing birds and happiness which was not deterred. I can only take so much of Putin, so I did not complete watching CNN's "Navalny" which details the 2020 assasination attempt of Russian opposition leader and former presidential candidate Alexei Navalny, in which he was poisoned with a military-grade nerve agent (made in Russia you say? surprise, surprise). Putin continues to cause havac in Ukraine and in the world. His actions are a great threat that needs to be squashed, sooner rather than later. Let's give Ukraine all the support they need to stop this war.

My ebooks being sold without my authorization

I was disappointed to see my ebook of Military Policewoman being sold by an Australian company without my permission on line. I have contacted them but of course have received no reply. It is unfortunate that people think it is ok to make money from the work of others. I suggest that if you want a copy of my work to either buy from me on my web site https://www.silvaredigonda.ca or with Indigo. I wanted to post on Amazon but I cannot as an individual. I have tried. So, have a good weekend. The devestating war in Ukraine continues as Russia breaks every and any rule of war. I have a recommendation of a book and documentary about Putin and his murderers. I want to finish first so I can share some info about it. The weather is improving and so I hope to spend some time reading outside in the sun. That should happen next week. I will also be attending a few lectures next week and the week after which I shall share. Wishing you the best and thank you so much for reading my blogs.

For Love of Country - Military Policewoman continues See me at Word on the street, Jun 11&12, at Queens Park (Toronto)

“The members of SIU section Winnipeg wish Silva a long and prosperous second career, but caution her not to choose any trade related to automobiles. Good luck Silva. Maj Solist, our commanding officer, was seated at my right. I was pleased. I learned that he had not been formally invited; instead he had arrived at the detachment asking to pay his twenty dollars to attend. He had seen a flyer, I imagine. Capt Jones, our Security Officer, was seated at my mother’s side. He had not been in Toronto long and was new to the Military Police Branch. I had spoken to him a few times and liked him. He was amiable, polite, and handsome, even with a beard. His futile attempts to have a conversation with my mother were almost comical. He was not aware of her current predicament. Seated beside the Captain was his Warrant Officer. He too was new to Toronto. At the other end of the table beside Maj Solist was my dear friend Maj Cassidy. I simply called him “Father”. I had known this priest for about twelve years. https://silvaredigonda.ca Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman. Note: Maj Solist and I continued to be friends way past both our retirements. His death was a suffering loss.

Single Parents: Is it enough (from an essay in my earlier years) continues

“Children in single-parent families exhibit more non-compliant and deviant behaviour than children in intact families.” (page 257, E.W. Beal. Carol Lynn Pearson however, has a healthy family in her single-parent dwelling. She is the supporter for other families, “My children have become used to seeing strangers sitting on our couch when they walk in from school, and if its’ a woman who looks a little stunned, and perhaps some children, they know we have another battered woman for a few days, here in a safe home while arrangements are made to get her away from a violent situation in her own home…There was the lovely black grandmother with the three children who had watched as their family, had killed their mother. My impulse was to my hands over my children’s ears so they would never have to know that a man had killed his wife (p 77). Being a single parent is difficult. Responsibilities, provisions and caring may become the burden of a sole parent. Support may be required. However, support is also required in many duel parent homes. Being a single parent may be enough provided there is sufficient love and understanding shared. “The world is a battlefield and too often the home is a theatre of war when it ought to be the safe, warm place we all can crawl into to be warmed and renewed. Family violence is in every edition of every newspaper. Is that the result or the cause of violence everywhere else?” (Carol Lynn Pearson, p 78)