I wish you all a wonderful New Year and thank you so much for reading my blogs

I love life and freedom and good food and lots of fun. I also love to write as a passion and help people as a vocation. All my careers has been in service of others and country. I am thankful for all I have in life, especially my health. If we are healthy we can work and dance and explore. That includes mental health. Each year I ponder if I shall continue to practice and I have decided to continue. I shall also continue to live in Toronto because of obligations. My ideal city is New York; my favourite place in the world is Disney World. It is no wonder that my American neighbours are my most dedicated readers. Thank you. I always have fun whenever I cross the border. I find a kinship with the people. And why not? I grew up with American television which is still my favourite and all my texts of psychology were actually written by Americans rather than Canadians. I asked why one year and was told that we were not writing them. That has changed. I am reading one text now on personality. It is rather boring and I have studied most of it but I did win it at a conference so I am determined to read it all. I have read about 600 pages. My education especially in psychology has been very repititious. That is why it is inprinted in my brain. I have memorized so much in my life and because I continue to utilize my brain in such a matter, I exercise it. The world is changing and so is how we study. Speaking to a retired principal which I mentioned to you before, I learned that youth today do not have the same learning capacity simply because of how time has changed. Information is as simple as pressing a key board. There is no need for retention. I was thinking about that yesterday. I know that for myself, I have always re-invented myself to meet the changing times. I upgraded my education so that it was relevant. A Masters has replaced the BA's. Education is more important now than it ever was in the past. Corporations have blended and want the brightest of minds for creativity. We have artificial intelligence as the new future. There are so many positive possibilities for the future that it is mind boggling. Yet, we have problems as well. Extemist groups are often replaced by others who are hunted and destroyed. I was reading an article about India the other day which stated that it is difficult for women to be educated and more so for getting work. We still have a disasterous amount of children starving and dying. There is another concern of politicians of questionable intellect being in control of countries. But, there is hope. The planet is ill and scientists are too often ignored about global warming or silenced. I took a three day seminar about global warming years ago and I couldn't watch a disaster movie for years. I would have definitely taken that direction of study if I were young. That is where we are headed and it is purely a fact. I believe I heard on a newscast that 25% think it is a concern. However, I have hope. I believe that the majority of the world is good. In every religion, culture, and leadership there is goodness. Sometimes, good people do bad things. Then there are the extremests in many groups who are so lost that hate and conquering is their ownly motive. This is usually motivated by ignorance and it is not surprising that the first thing they do is kill intellectuals and dominate and control women and the men who try to protect them. This is often done by death. I abhor communism and that is why I like to take shots at China and not buy products from them, but it is not only China. Look at North Korea and the list goes on. People in these countries, good people, are controlled and manipulated. Just the other day I threw out garlic I had bought at Fortino's because I learned it was made in China. I was not surprised when China told Canada there would be serious consequences if we did not release a Senior VIP arrested at the request of the USA. This is an agreement in the free world not to be negotiated. I always take threats very seriously expecially when it comes from a dictator. However, I have hope. This morning while watching the news I heard talks of trade among countries that will exclude tariffs. I am so happy to hear that. There is hope. I believe that we have a lot of brilliant people in the world who want a better life for the entire world. As the year ends I wish for all of you to have hope. I sincerely thank you for reading my blogs. I wish you a wonderful New Year full of love and joy. Thank you. www.silvaredigonda.com www.redigondapsychotherapy.com

A Christmas Tale - Published by me

I found myself standing alone, as the snow fell gently, Creating a pure white blanket on the asphalt, I was standing on. Looking at the Christmas scene outside St Charles Church, I felt sad that I did not have enough money for Christmas to shop; that I still had to prepare for a four hour exam. As I looked at the empty cradle of Jesus, my sadness increased. “Oh Lord, we have made such a mess of things. Here it is Christmas approaching, and our planet is suffering from global warming, we still fight and kill, in the name of God. The middle class is disappearing and corporations are merging and becoming powerful. The rich are getting richer while our poor are getting poorer. Our governments are deserting us Lord. Please do not give up on us. Please forgive us.” “I am hungry miss?” I turned and found a beggar beside me. I wondered why I had not heard him approaching. He was big framed, with dirty long hair, a fat and heavily pimpled face and a foul smell that not even the cool air could dissipate. His face was so dirty that I could not determine his skin color. His mittens were black and he wore a long woolen brown coat that looked frayed but thankfully warm and he wore heavy worn boots that had seen too many winters. “I am hungry miss.” He repeated with patience. I was holding my submarine sandwich which I had just bought. I had decided to give myself a treat. After all, Christmas was approaching and I deserved something. I had just stopped to admire the Nativity scene. I looked into those sorrowful big brown eyes and saw more sorrow than I could ever bare being reflected back to me. I handed him my submarine and whispered “Merry Christmas.” I didn’t know if wishing him a Merry Christmas was politically correct, but I did not care this evening. I wanted to be free, in my seemingly democratic country to say “Merry Christmas.” What has happened to my city, to my country, to my world? I thought with sadness. I had lowered my head and looked up to see my hobo gone. He had taken my sandwich and I wished him well. I walked back to my old, rusted car in the Church parking lot and unlocked it. There was my submarine sandwich waiting for me. I looked back towards the nativity set and saw the boot prints on the snow from the Nativity area, I had just come from. There was only one set of boot prints this late night that marred the soft blanket of snow.

Merry Chistmas everyone

I want to wish each of you who read my blogs a very special Christmas and Happy Holidays.

Christmas time in the city

I am in the Christmas spirit and with that comes a bit of laziness since fun, family and friends become a priority. I am still working because it is also a very difficult time for many. This Christmas I ask everyone who reads my blog to think of someone or something positive in their lives. Sometimes, what is going wrong can be very overpowering. I am thankful for my health and my being able to work as long as I have. I am thankful to all who cross my path and make my soul smile. I have learned so much from all. I know there are parts of the world where people have no religious freedom. There are parts of the world where children suffer from starvation and lack of love. There are parts of the world where people suffer from complete domination. I am so grateful for being Canadian and having all the opportunities I have had and still have. I am mindful that I need to give back in some way. If any of my words have helped just one person from not hurting themselves further or ending their life, than I am grateful. If one person has been able to make a decision to make a positive change for themselves or any other, that I am grateful. This Christmas season why not reach out to someone, anyone, and wish them your best. Why not do something nice for just anyone, regardless of what it is? This Christmas why not remember why we celebrate? Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone. What do you think?

My books are for sale at my web site www.silvaredigonda.com

I have written three books and am aching my way through my fourth. I call it aching because the book will be dark, focusing on good and evil forces. This will be very different from the first three. I am spending more time thinking about this one than the previous three which were rather automatic. I realize that as I write each book, I get a tad better. I am in no hurry this time. I want it to be scary but I also want people to think. My first book, "Hey Guy Buy Me" was fun to write. I wrote it for pleasure and I was surprised by the reaction from men. Some hated it and me as a result. Some adored me and some well........My second is my biography, my rite of passage. More than one person who has bought the book said it was honest. I have to read it again to understand why people find it honest. It is honest of course, but what do readers see? My third book is my favourite. I had fun writing that book and it was an easy flow for me. I used a board to write that one and I will probably use my white board for my present book. In this book, though the main character's gender is female, and is a reporter. I may change that. I want a strong male character as well. I will probably make him a policeman or maybe not. When I go to shows/events etc... my books sell quite well. I always enjoy myself especially when I have someone come to me and tell me what they loved about my books. I don't so much when someone returns to insult me, mainly from their perspective of what they read from Hey Guy Buy Me. What I do recommend from women is that if you buy my first book, give it to a man you want to understand and see his reaction. If he is hostile, maybe that is something you should be mindful of. Remember I wrote it for fun. People are asking me more if I have written any books about my psychotherapy, couple therapy etc... I am asked this so often that I am considering it. However, because my life is very consumed with my work, my writings are my break. I have written stories since I was very young. I loved reading them to my mom and she enjoyed hearing them. My mom was my greatest fan and she was a great motivator. Fr Bill was my second motivater. However, I don't need much motivation, just time. If I ever retire, than I will become a full time writer. Now it needs to take a back step from all else. It is my hobby. Some bake and well some write. Has I said, I do well at the events I attend, but not on line for some reason. So if you want want to order my books on my web site, please feel free to do so. You may want one for yourself or as a gift to others. I am a one person operation so feel free to email me or write to me about any concerns or requests. My web site is also secure which you will note by the tiny padlock you will see. So, why not consider buying a book from a self published author who writes for the fun of writing. I can mail you any of my three books (autographed of course)or you can download my second and third. I wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. www.silvaredigonda.com

A retreat

Last Saturday I went to a Retreat at my old school at Uof T. As I approached the doors to my college, my eyes rested on the homeless statue that lay out beside the front doors. It was representative of the homeless which all the colleges (religious) had rejected at the time. I actually read about that in the paper and marvelled. Regis had accepted it with warmth. It was fun and exciting to see my old classmates and catching up. One of our alumni had died a week earlier and seeing the Dean of Students become emotional when talking about him, I knew the reason I had picked the discipline of Spirituality and Ministry. Regis College is run by the Jesuits and we were informed that when we are educated by the Jesuits we are never let go (or words to that effect). We were reminded of our high quality education and our obligation to educate and to give back. We examined passages and dissected it casually and honestly. The alumni post grads had gathered together and it was like a wonderful family re-union. There has been no organization, association, education etc…that has made me feel like being home as at Regis. When I was greeted with warmth and excitement from my classmates, it reminded me of my fun time at university. One of my classmates is now the President of the alumni and I know that she is well suited for the job. When I noticed the surprise that I had attended, I asked “why?” I was reminded that I had not been at an event since I graduated. I do go to the annual Culture event once a year, but they were right. Often there is a conflict in schedules and they hold meetings when I see clients. I have failed to attend alumni events after the first meeting. However, it is not intentional. During the last invitation, I had accepted, but had to cancel it because I went on a code of ethics refresher which lasted a full day, at a downtown hospital. Continuing education is mandatory for me and ethic courses are important. I have had more than my share. Each occupation I had required a degree of ethics and when studying for my Masters, I had more than I required. However, though the Ethicist of one course I took, had a PHD degree in ethics and had worked in hospitals as an ethicist, taking her course was rejected by one of my associations. I was in three programs at the time and trying to find courses accepted by all was challenging at times. There is always some prejudice we need to face and I am aware of it, so I just took more and therefore graduated with more courses than I actually needed. I choose my battles. I also took a Research Course regarding family therapy at Guelph university that is not on my transcript and keep forgetting to include that. I certainly had no interest in research at the time, but I am not so disagreeable about it now. It has to be of very much interest to me. If I ever consider to go back for a doctrine or PHD, I know exactly what the topic will be. However, getting someone interested in the topic might be another story. Being with my peers at Regis felt good and the positive feelings of being with each other all returned as if I had never left. One of my fellow students is also teaching at the school and that's great. I quickly got to hear who was doing what, who was sick, retired, etc…..It really is like a family re-union that meets after years and really catches up, being happy for each others successes and sad for those who are ill. Food was shared and what I really like about Regis is the warmth, I would love all to experience. So, the retreat did the trick. I was nourished and what better time than at Christmas. What do you do to relax, reflect and renourish yourself? What do you think?

Silva Redigonda, Registered Psychotherapist/Registered Marriage and Family Therapist : Christmas Season - Making peace with partner/fami...

Silva Redigonda, Registered Psychotherapist/Registered Marriage and Family Therapist : Christmas Season - Making peace with partner/fami...: One Christmas season I was visiting a cemetery. Someone close to me had died and the pain was fresh. As I was leaving, I noticed a w...

Christmas Season - Making peace with partner/family

One Christmas season I was visiting a cemetery. Someone close to me had died and the pain was fresh. As I was leaving, I noticed a woman probably in her forties or fifties, pacing anxiously where her mother rested, inside a wall. I smile at everyone and she took that as an invitation to explode her feelings. She talked about her mother dying and her estranged sister who was married with a family. She was single and grieved being so. She longed for her sister and was hoping that the sister would visit their mom so she could see her. They were angry over matters of the will. They had different perceptions of events. Since, she obviously had the need to vent her suffering, I listened patiently. When it was over I left and she remained hoping her sister would visit. She wanted to mend differences and her sister did not. As I wondered what to write for December which for me is precious, she came to mind. She is representative of so many this season with families struggling in their relationships. During couples or family therapy, the initial sessions (though not always) normally consist of defusing emotions and outbursts. People are emotional beings and often (though not always) the suffering pours out in angry outbursts, name calling and blame. My objective is to dig underneath all this fury so that the families and couples can look at themselves and others more objectively. Having each member speak about how she/he feels and their perception of events shared, sometimes differs very opposite from what is perceived from the other(s). Often there is much love and there are feelings of betrayal, deception etc…..There are many couples and families who would benefit from therapy. Not all are comfortable with therapy and some find it beneath them. However, often even working with one person can help the person make changes in their own thinking and behaviors which has a domino effect. In families there is often one person who is different from the rest. He may be more educated, more creative or think polar opposite from the rest. Because of this he may be seen as the problem, while he may be not at all. This Christmas why not think about someone you are not at peace with. If you believe in God, why not pray about this? Why not ask for help? If you do not, why not reflect on your relationships? Think about what happened with this person to make you distant yourself? Think about the possiblility if another perception is possible? Sometimes one thinks they know the other person and that is often not the entire truth. One builds a perception of the other from one’s own experiences etc…Ask the other person instead of thinking you know the other person so well. I do hope that this Christmas if anyone reads this blog, they actually reach out to someone who they are having difficulty with. Take it slow. Do you miss this person? What is it that you miss? How close were you? What changed? Why not be that person to take the first step. As I think of that woman who was waiting for her sister to arrive, her sister who no longer wanted her in her life, I wonder and hope that they did see each other again, and if not, I hope that one has had the courage to pick up the phone. In each relationship, one person needs to reach out for help and resolution. If this blog has helped only one person to consider reaching out, than I have been rewarded. What do you think? www.redigondapsychotherapy.com