#Toronto Strong

I have lived in Toronto for most of my life. I came here as a baby and aside from being transferred away because of my first career, this has remained my home. Regardless, of where I move in the future, Toronto will always remain my home town. Have I thought of moving - yes. Will I move? Recently at a barbecue I was asked what I do in Toronto. Where do I go? I was surprised by the question and than it was demanded that I answer the question by another, because I didn’t respond fast enough? We cannot always pick who we want in our vicinity. However, the question stumped me because in Toronto there is so much to do. If I had been asked what my interests are or what I do for fun etc….Where I go? Well last weekend I went to the Bloor fest. I went to a movie. The weekend before I was in Burlington. The weekend before I was at the Harbourfront where I had a great pizza I am still dreaming about. The weekend before that I was at Scarborough Bluffs with an old professor of mine enjoying fish and chips and watching the Swans below on the water. I have been at the gym, at the movies, at the theatre etc…There is so much to do and I do different things depending on who I am with. In Toronto, they often close a section of a street and they sell food, promote the city, have politicians promoting themselves as well as other festivities. Last weekend there were also live snakes for sale which I found disturbing at the street fair. I was not a fan with the woman who breeds them. “Do you sell them to anyone?” I asked. She was not a happy camper, since she had removed the snake from the plastic container to show off one of her prizes. I saw a group of four police people walking and wondered why all four were together. There has been an increase in violence and the amount of police has decreased in the city. It has been a rough few years for the police, where groups bash them. This is not from the majority of the people in Toronto. This is certainly not from me. The safest I ever felt was in New York City as I arrived at 10:00 pm. Why? Because there were police everywhere. That made me feel safe. As our city has grown the amount of police has decreased and has not been replaced. I do not compare my city with others as I hear politicians compare. I compare mine to what is was and what it has become. As we grow, we do not need to decrease but increase. Politicians may be voted in and politicians may be voted out, not by the loudest cries, but the silent majority. We have more guns and deaths and gangs than ever. We have faced two mass shootings and our latest victims were a child of ten years of age and a young teen who had such a promising future of helping others. Not that long ago there were children shot by a gang running after someone. When children die and get shot, we wake up that something needs to be done. We need to protect our children. What happens worse is no longer justifiable. I used to have a pizza night with my elderly pastoral counsellor on the Danforth many times. Unfortunately he died. I have had desserts at Demetres on the Danforth where the gunman shot through the window. Every Christmas with the federal retires board, we celebrate at a popular Greek restaurant. Queen Street is another popular street my mother and I used to spend many great times enjoying the jazz festival before it became so popular that I don’t even attempt going there now. Yonge street is well, Yonge street, the longest street, and who has not been there? As Toronto gets bigger, I have my own isolated spots to escape in quiet which are increasingly being discovered such as the Scarborough bluffs. I enjoy sitting on outside patios for lunch or an evening meal. They didn’t have it so much when I was a child. Violence used to exist in pockets of the city where crime was controlled. Shootings didn’t happen here; only in the States. But whatever happens in the States usually comes here. Why? Do we really need guns in Toronto? The Police definitely need them, but do the gangs need them? We have also had killings where people just happen to be living or walking in an area because rival gangs live there. The police have become so demonized that gangs can control the reporting of crimes. We need responsible reporting. We need to reach out to the vulnerable. We need to protect the vulnerable. We need to have mental health provided by all not only for those who can afford to pay for it. Why is psychotherapy not covered by OHIP? We need more support groups and availability for group therapies. People who are psychotic should not be alone walking the streets. People who are suffering from severe mental illness should have the care, they deserve. We can see how one person can do so much damage by running down people or shooting people at random. This affects all of us. The Police and other emergency personnel have to run into situations where others are running from. Now two police people will have to face inquiries from the SIU. Why can this not be exempted for mass killings? That only makes it harder for the Officers. Therapy is very helpful for people who are dealing with this trauma of what they saw and experienced, of being shot, of trying to rescue, of trying to help those injured or dying. Sometimes people just shut down and don’t want to talk about it but that will continue to haunt if it is not dealt with. Parents who have had their children killed will suffer what they did not think was possible. The community is doing all the things, they normally do and this is therapeutic. The community gathers, the community leaves flowers and notes, the community attends services and the community supports each other - a ritual which provides solace and connections - a grieving process. We are living in different times where one person can do so much damage. However, we also see the generosity of people, the goodness of people, the caring………I love my city. It has and will be forever my home. I normally smile at everyone and offer greetings. I talk to everyone, anywhere. I like it when I sit at a patio either by myself or with a friend(s). I love it that in Toronto we have people from every culture and religion one can imagine. Yes, we have our problems and we need to make changes for a changing world. Do we need guns in our city? What can we do to rid ourselves of arming the disturbed or gangs? What can we do to rid our selves of the gangs? What can we do to prevent burn out for our rescuers? What can we do? We can do lots. We have an educated city with three universities. We have an abundance of museums, and entertainment. We have our waterfront where every summer I get on a tour boat just for fun and listen what the tourists are being told about our city. I watch their enthusiasm which gives me pleasure because I do love my city. It is an unconditional love. However, I would like to see changes to help it grow in a healthy way. To ask me what I do in Toronto is somewhat difficult because there is so much to do and I ensure self care is a daily and weekly and monthly process. I indulged in self care before it was popular because of my previous careers. Self care and who I keep company with is paramount. I surround myself with people who are nice in my spare time. There is always one in every crowd who may challenge you because they think they are better or smarter or have dirty minds, but it is them projecting. Normally someone who is acting smarter may be making up for a sense of intrinsic insecurity. So, what do I do for fun? It would probably take pages. That is one of the things that living in a city is all about. I may go to the zoo, a museum, an art gallery, a park, a festival, a patio, a library, a conference etc……or I may just sit and read a book. Who cares? One thing I do know and which causes me a bit of concern of leaving my beautiful city, is all the options that I do have and take advantage of. I do not live in fear but I am cautious. I love people. I have always had careers helping people and thrive on it. I get fulfillment. So, if you have suffered a loss, it is heartbreak that has to be experienced, but no matter how painful, you will be able to get through it with time and care. Survivor’s guilt is also a struggle. Why did she get killed and I was spared? Re-living the experience over and over again - get professional help. Talk about what has happened to you and what you are feeling. Get the support that is offered. And for the parents of children who kill others. Get the professional help you may need as well. You may have done the best you could, you may feel the pressure of responsibility, you may feel antagonized. You too may need help for yourself. Toronto is a beautiful city with an abundance of good people. Let’s just work a bit harder of making it better for all of us. What do you think? My condolences to all who are suffering from the Danforth shootings.