Couple Therapy

Couple Therapy Couple therapy helps people to communicate their feelings and wants from their partners. It is not about who is right or wrong, but how to maintain a healthy balance. There may be people who have distinct roles in their relationships and they may also be quite traditional. If they are both happy with those roles, than fine. However, in some relationships there may be an imbalance in power and that is when problems may occur. One person may have been silent for years and then suddenly finds that he or she has had enough and wants to leave the relationship. I have found that it does not matter how long a person has been married, there is always an element of surprise when one partner reveals what the other didn’t know about the partner. I usually ask for two months of sessions if it is required which decreases as the couple feels fit. Normally, the first few sessions can be very emotional. Much has been kept withheld or there has been emotional fighting at home which drowns the ability to listen to each other. There is name calling etc…..In the therapy room this is controlled and clients learn to listen which can take several sessions. Couples learn how to be couples from their own perspectives from seeing how their own parents interacted. Some couples live very separate lives with one party having an affair to avoid working on his or her relationship. This is referred to as a triangle. One may avoid his partner by working and spending time away in the garage etc……I do not judge people regarding how they choose to live. I do not take sides. It is not about taking sides. It is about one person who has had a different life and identity finding a partner who has also had a separate life, coming together and deciding to become a couple. What one may find not to be a problem, maybe very much for the other. Therapy is about learning how to respect each other and finding that balance in their relationship which is mutual for both. I have barely touched the surface and if anyone has any questions for me please feel free to ask. I will not see couples where one is not willing to let go a person he or she is having an affair with. This defeats the purpose of couple therapy. I also do not take sides regardless of who is paying for the sessions. If I find that the therapy as an ulterior motive, than I will recommend that the couple see another therapist. What is also very important for any type of therapy is that when one is not comfortable with their therapist, than they should find another. What do you think?