Heart felt prayers and sorrow for Manchester

It is a very sad day for Manchester. The youngest child killed is only eight years old. I normally do not make remarks when terrorism strikes because I realize they thrive on it. I also try to avoid politics. However, today I want to break that silence because that too can be victory. Last night while I watched the news I also felt sorry for the terrorists because I cannot imagine what it is like to be driven with so much hate. I have felt hatred near me and it was quite powerful. I cannot imagine how much hatred is fueled among themselves. This has nothing to do with the goodness of religion. This has all to do with darkness and evil. I believe that good is the majority and will prevail. Our children are our most precious. To all the families and survivors and citizens, you know the world cries with you. Silva

Available to see new clients.........More books to sell

I want to let you know that I am available to see new clients. My price has remained at 100. for a fifty minute session. I do accommodate people for payment. People have the option of paying what they can in their sessions and owing the rest without interest according to their own payment plan. Receipts are provided which can be claimed on Health Benefits section when you do your own income tax (Canada). I am with certain insurance and EAP programs however if I am not with the particular plan you have, you need to pay in advance and claim through your own insurance plans/EAP. Check to see if you are covered for seeing a Registered Psychotherapist in Ontario. I do provide Telephone Counselling however some standard paperwork is required before hand. An appointment is also required. I have written books for fun which has nothing to do with my work. Writing is a hobby and I do sell them at www.silvaredigonda.com. I am presently re-assessing what is best for my practise and book selling. To connect with Canada Post I need a Canadian Company so I am presently researching my options. That's it for today. Enjoy your day.

Nice Long weekend

I did not look at my emails until this morning and that is quite an achievement. I am all caught up and I decided to write my weekly blog for you and then just take the rest of the day off to finish off the long weekend. Due to the ugly day outside, I have decided to stay home and spend it with my little family. Next weekend is Doors Open and I want to spend the better time of the weekend checking out what I have not seen yet. Last weekend I again went to Niagara Falls and the best part was sitting on a rock watching the roaring of the falls with my elderly war veteran buddy who is now 97. He is getting more frail after suffering a fall. I marvel at all the people who have come into my life only enhancing my appreciation for all I have and have known and continue to know. As you know by now, Niagara Falls is one of my loves and I continue to watch the market there for something I want. It has to be near the falls or clifton hill so I can continue to see people. Some like to escape people however, I thrive in the company of others. Being social is very important for people, however some do not know that. I also need a home office that would be accessable to all. I have never really worked from home aside from my writing so that would need a good security system. Still, the problem is that I frequent conferences, eduational institutions and etc and the best is right where I am. So, I continue to discern while watching the market. Friends is a no brainer. I have a work partner there I have known for years. I also know that people would love to come and visit and that is something I also need to consider. I would like to have a private area for guests. Yet, I do not want to become a slave to a home. Of course there is that dream of a pool. So, that is it. Throw in a sun room and nice porch I can grow old into and I am a happy camper. Aw, to dream! I am actually quite happy with my present life so it is always nice to just have fun. This weekend has been nice too. Yesterday I just chilled, watched movies, ate etc...with tiny family. Saturday I was on a retreat all day. It was rather long and I don't think I would repeat the day with only one speaker. I have seen him several times before and have bought and read his books but a full day is too much. I took notes during the morning session but in the afternoon he just related history with his personal views and I became confused with what could be superstitious. It is for that reason that I am not naming him since he is very popular and well known. What I also found quite annoying was that he was getting information from his cell phone. I think at least one course on how to use tools while lecturing would would be beneficial. I did buy a book by another author, by Fr Gabriele Amorth with Stefano Stimamiglio. Fr Gabriele is a renowned exorcist in Rome. I just finished reading a Paterson book which I believe was a movie that I had watched. I am taking a memory and aging program at York University for five weeks which is only several hours long once a week. I have three more weeks to go and then I will give you some tips. I studied this in undergrad and what was said in one lecture is being spread out to 10 hours. I keep forgetting what I take for granted as common knowledge is not for everyone and so need to be cautious of that. I am also making crafts once a week (when work permits) for a senior community centre which is sold with everything profiting the seniors. Now I am off to just play today and back to seriousness tomorrow - maybe. Have a nice week and if you ever have questions to ask, do not hesitate. What do you think?

Dr Brescia, Calvary Hospital, Bronx New York

I read almost everything that is mailed to my home and this magazine is one I get periodically from the Sisters of Life, Spring 2017 issue. I was so impressed with this article and so I am sharing it with you. Dr Michael J. Bresicia, is the Executive Medical Director and co-founder of Calvary Hospital. In the article Dr Bresicia indicates that before 1966, people with kidney failure lived from three weeks to three months. He joined the VA hospital in the Bronx because soldiers were returning from Vietnam dying from kidney disease. Dr Bresicia explains how one day feeling “desperate” since he had ten young veterans who were going to die. He was having lunch and there were two french fries lined up side by side on his plate. While taking a bite of his hamburger, a blog of ketchup falls perfectly between the two fries. It looked like a vein and an artery in the wrist. He wondered if ““I connect this vein and artery with a fistula, would this vein, and all the other veins, actually change and become like arteries.”” Dr Brescia realized that he would not only have one artery but 200 arteries and the patients could be kept on blood-cleansing machines indefinitely. He went upstairs, successfully did the fistula and 50 years they are still doing it. Dr Brescia confronted with a drug company interested in the procedure guaranteed financial success. It would be 60 billion today. However, the company wanted him silenced for one year and this would have caused the deaths of many. Dr Brescia who had consulted with his dad, took his advice. This procedure would be free to everyone who needed it. He gave it away. What impresses me most about Dr Bresica is his heart. In the article Dr Bresica speaks that emotional suffering can only be treated with love, by being present, contact by touching, holding and to say “I love you. I promise to never abandon you.” Dr Bresica reveals that 80% of their day at the hospital is spent with families. 6,000 patients a year are treated. No one after being there for 24 hours , asks for assisted suicide. This is a man of incredible faith. He states, ““When I enter a patient’s room, I always stop on the saddle of the door, and I pray…When someone is dying, you think that room is part of this earth? No! You are not in this world. You have entered the vestibule of heaven.” Dr Bresica shared his view of assistant dying. His response, ““ I don’t think we as a society, as a nation, can survive all this killing. You talk about the culture of death; assisted suicide is a slippery slope where it becomes easier and easier to kill. There are plenty of examples where we can cure people who are suffering from diseases that used to be fatal…” Dr Bresica was asked if there is any suffering that cannot be alleviate. His response: “At Calvary we have found that absolutely any pain and any symptom can be alleviated……”You can’t allow someone to lay there in agony.” There is more to read but I don’t want to re-type it all, so if you are interested I suggest you read about this further on your own. Since my first seminar on assistant dying and being barked at by a colleague who was all in favour of assistant dying, this has made me think and think. I remember in an undergrad course (which is somewhere to be read for the blog as I transfer all my notes for you to read) that I believe was during the Roman Empire, assistant killing was authorized. But this changed to becoming illegal when it was found that patients were being killed for their inheritance/money. How much has the culture of greed changed? I was very concerned here at home in Canada when this law came into effect. There has been much concern and debate. As I have worked with people, I have seen people at the brink of suicide who with therapy have later lead happy successful lives. I too believe that the entire person needs to be treated. Their spirituality and emotional needs as well as their physicality is all inter-wined. It is too bad that Cavalry Hospital is so far away because that is one place I would love to work at to learn from Dr Bresica along with a private practice which I love too much to give up. Have you struggled with a terrible physical ailment? Did you at any point want to give up? Would you have opted for assistant dying if it was legal? Do you feel the same now? What do you think?

Update on the "Internet Murders" for you hopeful writers out there.

Well yesterday I sent my draft to my publisher who I have been with since I began writing. I write for fun and my priority is my private practice and I promised my sole fan that I would have my book out by this years "Word on the Street." So I decided at the spur of the moment while my grey cells were processing all the information I had been gathering, to reach out and self publish. I did send my manuscript out to several traditional publishers however the waiting period to hear something can be four months. Imagine writing to one publisher at a time and waiting forever to get a response. I can die of old age by then. You see some want to be the first and only publisher you seek out. Others want you to have a particular genre. Others want you to be from where they are and others etc..........I even thought of getting an agent and that was interesting. I did not know there were so many scams when it comes to the writing world. So, I gave that up quickly. Simply put, my love for writing stories has been intrinsic since I can remember, writing them in the kitchen and reading them out to my mother who loved to hear them. Of course my grade seven teacher declared to the class that I could not have possibly have written my story. I blurted out in class that he could ask my mother, if he didn't believe me. It is no wonder that I am allergic to teachers. So, I took the easy but more expensive pathway to self publishing. I now have to figure out in my spare time how to get them distributed to bookstores. I figure if I write enough books maybe someone will notice who is legitimate. I wonder why I have a suspicious mind when it comes to scammers? So many out there perhaps? So, if you want to write, write for the love of it because it can be time consuming on the business side of the house. What do you think?

Grief seminar

Grief Last week I attended Dr Darcy Harris’ lecture at Kane Funeral Home. I didn’t realize until I actually saw her that I had attended a seminar by her before which I recorded on a blog for you. At the time it was held at Sunnybrook Hospital. Dr Harris asked the group some questions which she didn’t get any answers to because she was sparing the introverts in the room. This was open to everyone including the public. Questions to ponder were: 1. What is most important to do and what is your guiding principal? She reported that the average life expectancy in Canada now is 80 for men and 84 for women. We women still live longer. Other tid bits she shared: approximately 42% if marriages in Canada end in divorce. The lower rate from previous stats is seen as a reflection of couples choosing not to marry versus choosing to stay married. In 2011, 747,000 Canadians were living with Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias. That’s 14% of Canadians 65 and older. One in 5 Canadians aged 45 and older provides some sort of care to a senior family living (with long term care requirement). She asked us if given the choice (raising hands this time) would we prefer organ failure, human frailty or terminal disease as we got older. I picked human frailty which is what the majority of us will have due to modern medicine. What was once considered terminal are now chronic conditions. As a result, the nature of care and experience of grief have changed. Families are often involved in the care of loved ones who experience a prolonged process of deterioration - a process that is often marked by extended and ongoing needs for care, accommodation and difficult decision making. Dr Harris provided some questions which I will probably ask if I ever teach. Again we did not answer any but these are questions you may want to ask yourself as you read this blog or save for another time. Exercise 1. (This is important because this determines your grief) Do you believe that most people are good and trustworthy? What guides your expectations of others? 2. What does “justice” mean to you? Do you have a “guiding” principle for life? What are your “core values”? 3. How do you tend to think of yourself? What roles define you? There was a major point which I often hear is to support and not fix. The loss of our assumptive world is what triggers the grief response. Dr Harris reported the 10 - 12 % of grief is complicated grief. ( I have written about complicated grief before). Dr Harris reported that some are not able to relate to God as they previously knew God. Cannot relate to others who feel the same as before. How can God let this happen to me? Dr Harris spoke of emotional intelligence. What is your feeling? What is it? How do you deal with it? Journaling? Underneath the emotions there is a reason. Dr Harris spoke of Disenfranchised Grief such as having an affair and the person who was married dying. Suffering the loss of a pet. Often one does not get the support needed. Social messages prevent them from getting the help they need. Sitting with someone and being present is a real gift - the gift of presence. I have certainly recommended that for people who have come to me for a consultation regarding helping friends suffering from various diseases, grief etc…… Dr Harris has written a book Counting Our Losses: Reflecting on Change, Loss and transition in Everday Life. Another book is Disenfranchised Grief. New Directions, Challenges and Strategies for practice by Kenneth J. Dora/Editor. I have written much about grief and if there are any questions please to not hesitate to ask. The information above was related by Dr Darcy Harris in the seminar and provided as well from her slides. I hope you find the information useful. I told Dr Harris that I wrote in my blog about her previous lecture. Have a nice week. I have read an article about an amazing physician working in a Bronx hospital. I will be sharing this with you probably next week as part of the Pastoral notes. It has to do in reference to assistance dying which I have much concern about, although I would never refuse to be with anyone requesting my presence. What are your thoughts? What do you think?

Update - pending workshops etc......The Internet Murders

I am pondering regarding trying to find an agent, traditional publisher or self publish again. I would say that in its self, can be a full time job which is why I always self-publish with a publisher I trust. I normally try one or two regular publishers and then submit to what I am comfortable with. I should probably try to find something before I complete my work. Also, some want you to wait for six months for a reply. Really? That can take me a life time. Others want to be the first you have submitted your work to. Than there are those who are rather rude. When I submitted my second finished work to a publisher in Toronto I got "I'll pass" as an answer. Of course I keep all the info and never send the rude ones another manuscript. However, I do not give up and I suggest for those of you with a passion do not either. This week I have attended a FSNA meeting and I encourage all Federal retirees to join their respective branches. I am the Assistant Benefit Health officer in Toronto. Though I do not believe in volunteering, I sure do a lot of it. This is one of my projects since it was time to give back. This week I will also be attending another Grief seminar. I have written about grief before and will be giving you an update next week. I live in an amazing city where all the education, seminars etc....are here in abundance so it makes it harder to leave. Last year at the same Grief seminar there was a woman attending from South America. I find it amazing that one attends a seminar for a morning from another country and that is because for me it is a simple drive. Next week I will also be attending a five week (2 hour weekly) work shop regarding aging and memory. It has been over ten years since I took such a course as part of my undergrad degree so I am curious to see if there are any changes or updates. This course is open to everyone regardless of education and it brings me back to my undergrad university. It is always nice to see people I know there. I am also taking a weekly crafts workshop at a community centre that I love. Balance is important in life. I have a rewarding career where I help people and self care is very important. So, I hope you consider finding a hobby you enjoy, learning something new, and spend time with people. Isolation is not healthy. If you are unhappy in your work, perhaps it is time to look for something new,if you can. What do you think? Silva