Killing of elderly Priest while conducting mass in Northern France is so unholy.

I cut my psychology notes short today because the killing of an 84 year old Catholic priest while conducting mass touched my heart. So did the slaying in Japan of special needs persons and so did.........but I want to focus on the elderly priest. Catholic priests have always been good to me. To this day my mentors are mainly elderly Catholic Jesuits. Though their bodies have become sickened with aging and disease, their minds are sharp as a whip. If I could ever be slightly as wise, I would be most fortunate. Growth is important to me. I have been fortunate to have been surrounded by brilliant men who respect women. That is why I like helping people because I think that all should have the opportunity to love life and enjoy what it can offer to each person. They need only want it for themselves. ISIS has claimed responsibility and report that it is in retaliation for the Americans seeking them out. Really? I am sure that there are some among them who are educated. However, I am not quite sure. There are many people out there who are preyed upon. People who are dischanted, unwanted, unloved, feeling worthless etc....are targets for the satanic acts in the name of extremists which has nothing to do with God. So many people use the name of God to commit the most horrific crimes. They need to feel that they have the authority of the highest. However, they have the authority from the lowest. Targeting the elderly, the holy, the children, the innocent has nothing to do with Allah. Some of the nicest people I have met are Muslims. Annually they are reminded to donate to charity and they do. I will be writing about organized religion and the various religions because all too often religion is blamed for horrific acts but the acts have nothing to do with religion. Kids in school join gangs because they need to feel that they belong somewhere. Kids in school want to take part of drugs because they think it makes them better, more popular......among who? I think society needs to really take a serious look at the mental problems that people have because some may just tip over. The internet can be a deadly place for youth who are innocent. How many have killed themselves because of sociopaths targeting them? How many are targeted by pedophiles in the guise of being handsome youths. We live in a society where there is so much good, so much beauty but sometimes it can all be lost for those who find themselves unwanted and unloved. Many times this is only a perception and sometimes it is not. There are many malfunctioning families out there and why not? There is a cycle of violence which can be and needs to be halted. ISIS must know, but maybe not because perhaps they are short on the smarts. Attacking innocents does not have anyone stopping from getting you and they will. It only enhances the urge to do so more. People who live in free countries, love it. They are willing to die for freedom and have done so since the beginning. This morning while watching the news, a pod of dophins was shown to make a good start of our day. The parents swam at each side of them to protect them. It was wonderful to see. We should learn from the animal kingdom. So, while I mourn for the elderly priest who was killed so brutally and I understand there is another parishioner in grave condition, I know that the Americans will hunt down the persons responsible. Allied countries will follow and hopefully we can rid ourselves of venum attempting to terrorize but not succeeding to tarnish the souls. Killing children, the holy, the innocent does not dissuade, it encourages. Now who is the source of income for these sad creatures? What do you think?

continuing from Abnormal psychology notes: Learning/Cognitive Paradigms

Behaviorists Stimulus > Cognitive > Response—————————Persons A and B , Response 1 for person A and response B for person 2. Why do persons behave abnormally? If hang around anti socials as a child and not scholars, re- enforcement is for the delinquency that occurred - anti social behaviour rather than pro social. Think of people growing up in one environment and came out of another. Classification and Diagnostic - Why does DSM exist? It is psychiatric not psychological. Historically, pre 1950’s, it was only psychiatrists involved with mental patients - post trauma of war soldiers - shell shock (WW1 term) - battle fatigue (WW2 term). How psychiatrists used to diagnose - eg. Schizophrenia 1. Kraeplin - Biological approach - too much nitrogen. It was felt that the fece of the schizophrenic had odour, kidney etc conditions which gave rise to chemical imbalance. 2. Bleuler - words get linked, get sentence link and paragraphs and threads that bind everything together. Split minds/thoughts - schizophrenia (other disease symptoms). 3. Schneider (approach) First rank system. Paul Meehl did study in which he asked five or six psychiatrists to interview and diagnose the same patients. He found six different diagnosis (Inter rated reliability). This caused a blow to psychiatry. Meehl did the same thing with psychologists - MMPI - control group were relatives of mental patients (farmers) —good interatcial reliability, even though work was needed. to be continued with: Two features of the DSM -

Difficult Week for the World - Grief/Trauma - Where is God?

There is always something happening in the world to talk about. My heart felt sympathies to the tragedy in Nice, France and to the senseless killings of Police in the States. Baton Rouge, you asked for prayers and you certainly received them from me. The Coup attempt in Turkey caused death and now an endless amount of people are being jailed there. Then there is the despicable killing of a woman by her own brother, considered honour killing in Pakistan. What honour is there when a brother strangles his sister? The list goes on and on. This causes grief and it causes trauma. In a church I visited on Sunday I heard a Pastor ask, “Where is God in all this? How can God let this happen?” He talked about evil and good and the contrast. I remember my own question when I asked, “How can God let this happen?” in reference to Global warming and the unavoidable destruction of our own planet, by our own greed and negligence. The answer was “free will.” We have the free will to do good and we have the free will to do terrible things. I have always had a curious mind and I have questioned to death and still do. When I didn’t know something that interested me I would read and read and study about it. I have had so many people ask me as they receive their death notice due to cancer or other terminal diseases - why? Why has God allowed this to happen? There is a privilege in having those precious moments of trust. You are with a person at his or her lowest point and you are witness to a truth, in its holiest form. I was watching a mass one Sunday when I heard a Pastor talk about suffering. His answer had me cursing and I immediately prayed for forgiveness and looked up at the screen to see a person I recognized because he had been educated at the same institution as myself. I went to visit an elderly wise Jesuit who is also my friend and I shared what I thought. He guided me in my thinking. People need to find their own answers within them he solemnly said. That is also so much a part of psychotherapy. I have had people come to my office and when I ask, how I can help them, they sometimes say, “I need you to tell me what to do.” My reply, “I don’t do that but I can help you find and explore what it is you want to do.” Sometimes people really want someone to tell them what to do because they are so overwhelmed and want to take a break from all the emotions that are drowning them. No one is perfect. There are nice, caring and wonderful people who do make terrible mistakes. We come from a place of our own experiences, our own cultures and our own successes and failures that define us. We spend a life time searching for something whether it be God, security, a better opportunity etc….I do believe that there is more good than bad in this world and I do believe that good will triumph eventually. There is a lot of talk about walls and killings etc…..but one thing I know is that we are all the same. There are differences but there are similarities. I often hear people spewing, “mind your own business” when someone interferes with something one person is saying or doing. One of the benefits of living in a free country is that it is everyone’s business to ensure we live in a wonderful world. The old days of minding your own business permitted men to kill wives, to rape women and to beat children or humiliate them. Parents need help in raising their children because children are not private property. They belong to all of us. They are our future. It is all our of our business to protect them. Again I have heard of parents in the States this time sending their young children into the desert to punish them. I feel bad for the children, but I also feel bad for the parents because it appears they don’t know any better. Recently parents in Canada were found guilty after their child died because they did not bring them for care to a physician when the child was sick. We all have different opinions,however we all have a responsibility to each other. How can we make our world better? There are many people grieving and what I can say is let them grieve. If it is you, allow yourself to grieve. Don't think that you should decide how your friend should grieve or when it is enough. People are different and one does not necessarily know the pain of another. If you are a friend, be a friend and allow your friend to grieve, to talk, to release themselves slowly of the hurt. Don’t judge others because you really don’t know what is in their hearts and soul. However, a bit of kindness can go a long way. And when you fall, or make a mistake forgive yourself because being human means not being perfect. When grief becomes complicated, when you visualize a horrible incident over and over and you can't seem to get beyond it then please go for help. When you are dealing with trauma, remember that the body is protecting itself automatically from harm. It is not a sign of weakness. How often to you hear, “I am strong and they are not.” If you are one who thinks you are strong, think why? What have your struggles been? Under the right circumstances anyone can suffer and that has nothing to do with weakness. I have a simple philosophy if there is an act that hurts someone, than it is my business. When I see women being killed because someone thinks they are personal property, than it is my business. If I see a child being molested than it is my business. If I see someone controlling another against their will than it is my business. If we have terrorism in the world than it is my business. If we have a planet that is dying because we have abused it, than it is my business. If we have a country that allows its people to starve than it is my business. If we have children in the world suffering than it is my business. If you are suffering why not take the first step to help yourself. If you are feeling suicidal because you have lost hope, have lost yourself than walk into an emergency hospital or clinic or see someone to help you regain your hope because hope can be regained. Try taking a step back from the overwhelming emotions you may be feeling and find that one person who will help you because there is good in this world. You just need to find it. What do you think?

Do you do volunteer work? Share your opinion here if you like.

Volunteer? Summer 2016 publication of SAGE (National Association of Federal Retirees) Borrowed Time by Sharon Kirkey, reported that Canada’s charitable sector is the second largest. The Netherlands reigned and the USA ranks fifth. Half our country’s estimated 170,000 non-profits and charities are run entirely by volunteers. This means that Canadians worked 1.96 billion hours in 2013. The concern for the writer is that there is a worrying trend in the decline in volunteering in the 35 to 45 age group. Seniors score the highest average hours and a “windfall” for charities “if they don’t lose them to Florida or cruise ships first.” Health wise, volunteering is associated with reduced depression, lower rates of hypertension and hip fractures among seniors. However, there is a tipping point. About three hours per week is all it takes for the benefits. Studies have “suggested” the more cognitively or socially complex a paid position is, the better cognitively and lower dementia risk. About 750,000 Canadians currently have Alzheimer’s or other dementia expected to double within 15 years. More than 50% of the risk of developing dementia is due to modifiable life style. What do you think about all this? Do you have the urge to volunteer? Have I recommended volunteering to clients? Yes, when they are financially secure. When they are not, I recommend workshops for retraining or updating skills. If people are living isolated lives than yes I recommend some type of work, either paid or not. There is a need to socialize and if volunteering gets them outside, then yes volunteer. It also provides a sense of accomplishment and it can feel good to help others. I myself have never volunteered for anything, and yet I was volunteered for ever. I have been given choices and when I said no, I was volunteered. I also worked basically for free in my internships and in some cases if not most I had to pay to volunteer. I am happy that they are thinking about actually paying people for their talents and time. I volunteer now in two positions. One I belonged to so long that it was my turn or my dues to volunteer. The other, well that was my old supervisor/mentor who did so much for me that I certainly have a hard time saying no and he knows it. If I counted how much I volunteered or more specifically was volunteered, I would probably sit down and cry and decide to retire completely. At a hospital that I interned at they had 5000 interns (called free labour) and 5000 volunteers (free labour). Maybe the multiple six figure salaries and bonuses should volunteer a bit,huh? So, when do you want to volunteer, if at all? I actually believe in paid labour. All the benefits described in volunteer works, could be equally effective being paid. Or could it? I remember studying in undergrad that when a hobby one enjoyed became a job, the joy was lost. Something to think about. I know that if I did not want to volunteer, I could simply say no. However, how much time does it really take for what I do? Everything I do requires thinking. However, my paid work requires thinking as well as my studies. Does that guarantee I shall never get dementia? No, however, it is less likely especially since it does not seem to effect my family to date. That does not mean that it will not happen, only that I would be surprised if it did. Then again if I got the disease I may not realize it , therefore I would not be surprised. Make sense? So, if you are not working and do not have anything to do with your time, yes, go out there and volunteer. However, give me the option of a cruise or Florida, I think I will take the cruise and Florida both. However, in my real world I work and volunteer for now. What do you think? Recently, I was on a train ride in the town of Tottenham, about a one hour drive, North of Toronto. It was great fun riding in a 1920’s train with the windows open and waving at the people in stopped vehicles, waiting for the train to pass. I had no idea that the maintenance, tracks and service is all accomplished by volunteers. I got so excited that I told the volunteer in his 1920’s clothing, that if I lived in Tottenham, I would definitely volunteer. What a treat! If you are in that town, I recommend the trip! Care to volunteer? Whatever you decide, stimulate that brain of yours! What do you think?

Men and Psychotherapy

I was very surprised to read an article from an authentic source regarding men and psychotherapy. It was American, but I won’t tell you what the source is because quite frankly I found it embarrassing. It talked about female therapists and how some are intimidated by men and how men may find them not up to par if they do not provide input that they are looking for. My interest has always been therapy for men. I am not intimidated by men. I wonder what kind of experience the female therapists have that this male writer is talking about? I grew up surrounded by men and they were wonderful to me. I had always admired the solemn, peaceful exterior of therapists I meet at seminars, both women and men. However, there are times that I feel some carry the weight of the world. I recently read something I thought was fascinating and of interest to me regarding a part time position working with a specific group. However, a calm, etc….was required. God help me if I ever become so boring to myself. It was not until someone I know was complaining about a therapist who was very serious, calm etc…..that I wondered if it was an asset? “You don’t like that peaceful exterior?” I asked. “Hell, no! I wanted to shake her, to come alive.” I grinned from ear to ear. I guess some may find that boring, rather than a plus and so I will not try to change that in myself. There is a time and a place. When someone comes to you, to pour their heart and suffering, it is no time to crack a joke. They need to feel validated, heard; respected. However, it is also important to establish a relationship and humour can be important and I do not try to take that away from me. I find that the majority of people who seek help, really want to feel less sad, less suicidal, get back on track with their relationships etc….They need to find someone who they feel comfortable with, because statistically, the relationship they have with their therapist is more important than their knowledge, for the client. There are men out there who get raped, are emotionally, physically, financially and sexually abused by both men and women. I have found that when some abusive women are the breadwinners and control the finances it is sometimes men who suffer. They have the additional burden of living in a stereotypical society where they are supposed to “be the man”, “man up”; “don’t be a pussy.” Men call the police as well for abuse but not as often in my experience. They are not taken as serious as women when they call or they are afraid because the abusive women tell them that they will claim to be the one attacked. There are women right now in Toronto knocking on doors and telling men that they want money and if they are not given the money, they will call the police and say they were sexually assaulted. Unfortunately the men I know of always give the money, though I strongly recommend that they don't. The Police are not stupid. There is always the element of truth. There are all sorts of support groups for women and I know there is not an equivalent amount for men because I cannot find them for men when I search. One support group leader said I was the second person who called in a week looking for a specific support group for a male, that she thought that perhaps it should be considered. Perhaps? You think? Of course I did not say that. I believe in equality with no favouritism toward one group or another. I was surprised to read in that article that men do not go as often for help as women. I have spent a life time with men who have lots to say. I have heard their pain and their struggles. I have seen great men not get custody of children simply because of the work that they do. There are great moms out there but there are also great dads. There are some lousy dads and there are certainly lousy moms. Children need love, security and consistency. Both parents can provide this but not when they are fighting. What they are teaching children is what a relationship looks like. I was about 10 years old when I learned that not all parents loved each other openly like my own. As my parents walked holding hands, my friends could not understand it. I learned what love is for a couple at a very young age. Reading that article about female qualified therapists not being comfortable helping men was disturbing because that is about half of the population. So, let's all get comfortable. I have seen some men in religious organizations uncomfortable with women. I have seen some avoid women as if they are temptresses. We are not so different. Research shows that male and female babies are treated differently. They may be in my notes somewhere which I will eventually share. I surprised myself when I realized that I treat my female pet more delicately than my male. So, what does that tell me about myself? However, I gave train sets to female children rather than dolls. The other day I was downtown and an elderly woman was wearing a T shirt that yelled, “women should be in the home” (or stay in the home). I couldn’t help but chuckle when I saw that because it is so absurd to me in this day and age. She did not look like a happy camper. She has internalized the norm for her time. I think it is wonderful if a woman wants to stay in a home, as long as that is what she wants. I think the same of a man who wants to, if that is what he wants. There are all sorts of people who have an opinion and that is what needs to be compromised and balanced, in a relationship. Is it practical and affordable to stay in the home for one parent? Views vary according to life experiences, good and bad, education, aging etc….So, if a student feels uncomfortable providing help for men, get in there full force, as a student focusing on men, unless they will not be part of your therapy inclusion. But as a qualified therapist, start getting very comfortable in the company of men. We all suffer - regardless of gender.