Continue from: Paradigms and Psychology as related to abnormal behaviour and classification (notes)

Freud Id, Ego, Super ego. Anxiety - Egos’s reaction to danger in external world - defence mechanism.Retreating to behaviour patterns of an earlier age. Primitive definitions: regression (sucking thumb as an adult is too wordy. Tantrums - retreating to behaviour patterns of an earlier age. If you want a good read, read Freud’s original. First: unconscious - People are not aware of doing things - Free associations - repression. Patient laying on the couch: free association - class- mother cold and distant; runaways- transforms into butterfly where warmer, on palm. cold->run->butterfly->hot->tree Noise- possibility of flying a little higher and giraffe swallows leaf: Popcorn->giraffe. Patient male depressed- can always tell a story. This is an art, not science. Rorschach Ink blot test: ten at a time. Projection Psychotic people have difficulty with associations. Example: Female patient, 19, incest with father? Did test. Pleasant conversation - down elevator going home next day. First card: looks at card and “freaks out” - a lot of blood (suicide). Your brother got it for me to show me. Tried another card: same reaction. Brother is here and becomes psychotic. Stops - let’s go upstairs. Cards stimulate. TAT - picture scenes: Gave her a neutral card “tree comes into my room through the window and tree strikes her. 15 minutes. To get patient back to the 9th floor, first had to go check if brother is in it. Tells psychiatrist there is a potential for suicide. A visitor tells patient that if she wants to kill herself, to go ahead. Psychotics - sit back and watch. Stressors occur in environment where can’t confront them openly. Therapists - confronts them with themselves. We are all uncomfortable about something in our lives. If it causes us stress, we go for help. Next…………………Learning/Cognitive Paradigms

More advertisement for the summer

For your information I am advertising in the Guardian Paper in Toronto, The Catholic Register, monthly in Toronto, Psychology Today, OAMFT, CAMFT and CASC. That should be it for now. I may be missing one or two. Of course I am here which is where I sold most of my books, as well as Twitter and http://linkedin.com/ I do not twitter too much. Regarding book clubs, which has nothing to do with my private practice, I am available to come and talk about my books and sell them to you if you are interested - no pressure. Regarding insurance companies - I do belong to several but have non-disclosure contracts so you need to check with your insurance company if I am a provider for them. You may also check if your insurance company accepts registered psychotherapists as a provider. I am covered as a pastoral counsellor for some and not a psychotherapist. I am now availabe for pre arranged telephone psychotherapy/pastoral counselling. Have a wonderful weekend. Next week I go back to my regular blog posts. Am enjoying the wonderful weather and playing outside.

Telephone Psychotherapy/Counselling - Temporary trial basis

I am routinely asked if I provide telephone counselling and I always say no. I wrote a paper on internet counselling, which you can look up since I posted it a while ago. I examine the various methods, concerns etc…..I prefer face to face because I do believe that it is best for the client and myself for offering the best I can. The body language is lost which is very important. However, I am told that there are people out there who do no want to be seen. They do not want to be exposed, and so I have discerned over this. Then there are those in isolated areas who simply do not have access to facilities. So, though I have resisted for several years, I am willing to give it a try. I want to see if there is a need and also if I feel that this will work out in the best interest of the client. As you know I have two web sites, one for psychotherapy and one for selling my books. For the sake of ease I am using my book web site for payment for telephone psychotherapy. The fee is the same in American dollars because that is the way the site is set up. I will not be offering this service during the weekends. So, if interested, contact me via email so we can arrange something mutual. I will also send you two basic client forms which I need compiled for my files. My web sites are www.redigondapsychotherapy.com and www.silvaredigonda.com My books have nothing to do with my practice. Appointments need to be pre-arranged. I hope you had a nice weekend.

Elder abuse

I was supposed to go to two seminars yesterday but after the day, I was too tired to go to the evening one, one of my associations was doing at U of T. I had already turned down the meet and greet for my other association. Why does everyone pick the same day? This is how I decide which ones I go to. I will attend a full day event rather than a short one. I thought I could go to a day one and then later to a night one, but I was wrong, so I know for next time. I hate cancelling at the last minute, I really do, but when tired I have to come first. So I am fresh for today. The day was sponsored by the elder abuse organization which I have attended before. It was free which is always a bonus and a full day. I didn’t really learn anything new but I believe I was the only therapist in the room so my learning experience was the response from the audience. What I normally take for granted as common knowledge is not. I have to be mindful of that. The speaker talked to the group about self esteem as it applies to seniors. She spoke about depression which she said is common among seniors and she stressed that a big problem for seniors is how everyone wants their money. They have a “nest egg” and a monthly pension which is attractive. Her advice is to socialize and not isolate themselves so that this can be controlled. There was no handout with numbers listed that was shown on a slide, so I won’t be able to provide that for you, but I am sure that you can type out elder abuse and some numbers should pop up. Popular scams were talked about. It is unfortunate that there are so many scams, - the granny scam, the door to door scams, the banking scams, the holiday scams, the revenue Canada scam etc… There are so many scams out there that it makes one wonder why not more is done at the government level to stop this? Don’t even get me started. They will be decreasing about 450 police in Toronto within the next three years and closing police stations. And why not? There are more shootings than I can ever remember in my home town and in three areas, within a few miles of each other in my neighbourhood there has been separate shootings. Makes sense than to close down police stations and reduce police right? One of those police stations is my police station. Anyhow, back to seniors being scammed right and left from everyone - there was also a representative from Health Canada, talking about nutrition. This hasn’t changed except that margarine is no longer considered a healthier choice than butter. I love butter. My mom once told me that butter was what makes everything taste great. So, I am back to butter. Actually, I have butter in my fridge. At the end of the day there was a member of the fire department talking about fire prevention. One person asked him how high the ladders can reach. “Seven floors” he responded. “What?” I gasped. He continued how they rescue in high rises to appease me, I'm sure. I think I will stick to a condo under seven floors, if I ever decide to take that route. He asked us how many sleep with their bedroom door closed? He was the only one. He showed us slides of how fires are prevented from spreading by closing the door etc… He was very informative and his slides were very telling, and I learned something important. The carbon dioxide sensor should be in the same room as the furnace. Mine is between the living and dining room. I will be making modifications and buying new smoke alarms. So, though I did not learn much about my profession, I did learn about fire prevention because it was in-depth and I had not attended one of those in a long time. Since this is all free, I would encourage organizations in Toronto to contact the Fire department, elder abuse people and health Canada to speak to the various organizations or work places. The Senior population is a growing one. The baby boomers are babies no more. I often hear people (who are not therapists of course) acting as if seniors are stupid. Seniors are not stupid. They are not confused as part of aging. The person I enjoy the most is 96 years old, and will be celebrating his 97th birthday next month. He is also one of the happiest people I know which is probably why I like his company so much. He is always providing me with newspaper clippings of articles he thinks I might like. He sings, he dances, he socializes etc….He enjoys life. He is also a World War Two vet who does not receive a pension for those years. Now tell me how that has happened? Anyhow, my point is that yes more elderly men kill themselves in Canada than any other group. However, there are also happy people out there, who are much more intelligent and accomplished than the people labelling them as less than. So, if you are a senior and you are sad (what they talked about yesterday is true), do not isolate yourself. If you find that you are doing that, make an effort to get some help. There is help out there. Spend your money on yourself. You have earned it. If you are being abused, call the police or get advise from Senior organizations. You have earned your years and you have earned the right to be yourself and do what you want. If you are depressed please do something about it. What do you think?

A week of tragedy in Orlando

I have been watching the news regarding the tragedies happening in Orlando. It is my vacation paradise and it is sad to see so many suffer. However, I also see the unity and love of that beautiful city. It is tragedy that can bring people closer together or can divide. There is so much grief and I hope that all involved receive the counselling they need so much. There is no harder grief than losing a child. An alligator attack at a Disney World resort I dreamed of one day affording was shocking. I am sure that even an intern lawyer will have a field day with that one, but I am not here to talk about the legal implications of failing to warn that alligators are in the water or can be. I am here to talk about grief and trauma. Grief is difficult. But these situations where so many people were killed in a gay bar that they thought was safe and which turned into a blood bath may cause severe trauma to the survivors, families and even the emergency responders. It is so important for everyone concerned to get the help they need to talk about their feelings. The first month is so important so that the suffering can be managed. I will talk about PTSD, but not today. The first month is crucial to get the help needed so healing can begin. Grief can become “Complicated grief” when an image repeatedly re-occurs. This requires therapy as well. I understand you have the support there, so please take advantage of that - heart wrenching. Grief is different for everyone. If someone is grieving, allow them to grieve on their terms. The new DSM has made grieving one year a disorder. However, in my experience, I have found that quite a few may grieve longer than that and recover fully. It takes time. And time is different for everyone. My suggestion to you who have friends who are grieving is just let them talk freely and be themselves. You may suggest therapy to help them but think of what you say because it hurts them rather than helps them. Saying things like, thank God you have more children, or you can have another child etc…..is very hurtful. No child can be replaced. The best you can do is really not judge but be a good friend by just listening. Many who grieve re-assess their friends during this difficult time.

Orlando - My condolences

To all the survivors, families and friends, my prayers and thoughts are with you.

Friday, Jun 10, come and say hello and see my office.

Tomorrow, Friday Jun 10, I shall be catching up with paperwork in my office so if you want to come and meet me, buy a book, see my office, ask a question or just say hello - come on down. I am at 2045 Dufferin Street, the Dufferin Medical Centre Building which is between Eglinton and St Clair, North of Rogers on the East side of the road. Take the elevator to the third floor and make two turns to the right. I am at Room 301. The door will remain open unless I have to step out for a few minutes. I am an early riser. Feel free to call me at 416-878-4945. I am available for any questions or concerns.

Pope Francis

Pope Francis (Pastoral) (Please exuse any errors. I have to run) I attended a lecture one evening at my old College. I went by myself because there have been many lectures about the Pope and I suppose it has exhausted some but I love lectures and so I went. The speaker is American, the topic was “Rebuild my Church: Pope Francis and Church Reform: by Thomas Reese, S.J. The speaker is a senior analyst - reporter So, it begins with the name: Francis. What is in a name? It is about remembering the poor, love of creation, peace (peacemaker-inter religion understanding. It is about reform. Francis was one of the first church reformers. As I type what the speaker reported, my mind returns to when I studied Francis in one of our lectures. He has always been one of my favourites and I had a small statue of him in my front lawn which I ordered from the States. Eventually, he lost his hands and head and I cannot recall where he now is. I remember one of the students getting very angry when we talked about Francis never speaking to his father again. As I type this I decide that I will be posting my student notes from theology as well. I like variety. Anyhow, this student stated that what was being taught was not true because he is a Saint. Well, some Saints have a history which I will not get into. However, my point is when someone does not like to hear truth because it contradicts another belief that generated from where?….Well that happens. “What do you mean the world is not flat. I don’t believe you.” This is simply history, like it or not. Now back to the lecture. Fr Thomas Reese continues that there are three steps to reforming the Church. There is a change in the culture of the institution. You appoint the right people in the right institutions and you change the structures and policies. Pope Francis’ words were simple. “Buona Sera” (good evening) and “Pray for me.” A first miracle was performed - the Italians were silenced. (What I like about American speakers is that they have lots of humour. I usually get into trouble with mine. I find this very funny because I was born in Italy, so I am allowed to find it funny). Pope Francis refuses to live in papal apartments and he drives a Ford Focus. Is it really 20 years old? I have a 20 year old car and now feel I have one more thing is common with the Pope. His first mass is at St Ann’s, Vatican Parish (where the vatican staff go to mass). The Pope washes the feet of young male and female prisoners. He reaches out to the poor and sick. That is not new. It is consistent with the past. As Archbishop of Buon Aires he refused to live in the Bishop Palace. He takes the bus and subway (I try to avoid that here at home). So what about all this? Fr Reese continues. Style is substance. There is a direct attack on clericalism. Leadership means service. Modality of what it means to be a good priest/bishop. He is trying to change the culture. We are a Church of symbols. We communicate through symbols, sacraments, evangelize through witness, not just words. There is more open discussion. Open and fraternal debate makes theological and pastoral growth. There is an argument not to divide but to unite. At Synod, “Speak clearly. Let no one say, “This can’t be said, they will think this or that about me. “Everything we feel must be said, with Parrhesia (boldness).” Council of Cardinals: Outsiders of Rome - One from each continent. He appointed new leaders. He needs people who will accept reform. He brings them from the outside to come in and advise. This is very much in tune with what the Jesuits do. People he trusted are wise. There is Cardinal Pell, secretary for economy. He wants three bids. No one’s nephew is getting a contract. He is a tough guy (excuse me for repeating that Father) - perfect for the job. The Vatican replaced officials. The Secretary of State is like a Prime Minister, the number two guy. He is a first grade professional and supportive of Pope Francis. The Commission of Cardinals Vatican Bank : The previous ones - fired! ( I use the exclamation mark on my own accord to depict my pleasure). Regarding appointments of Bishops - They are Bishops until they are 75 and then can submit retirement request. The Pope wants Pastors who “are close to the people, fathers and brothers.” Shepherds should smell like their sheep. In other words, they are so close to the people. They should be gently, patient…. What will Pope Francis do? What is reform - better management. There is redistribution of power - who makes decisions in favour of decentralization collegiality? “There is a need for a greater appreciation of local and regional elements. Central bureaucracy is not sufficient. What has been done? There was the Papal commission Scandals. The Vatican finances were re-organized. There is a standard business practice. There is a Papal commission on sexual abuse (check out my research proposal on pedophile priests. Just search for it.) There is a merging of offices: Laity, family and life; Charities, Justice and Peace; migrants; vatican radio etc….Now for the Prof’s personal opinions. There is a comprehensive reform of urea curia. There is a new vision for role of urea - 17th century court serving absolute monarch. Nobles and Princes helping monarch rule. Civil service as staff to Pope and College of Bishops- Don’t make curia. Officials of Bishops or Cardinals. Separation of Powers - legislation, executive and judicial power. Regarding Celibacy - compassionate but strict. Eastern Churches priests can be married. It is a matter of discipline, not of faith. It can change. He is in favour of maintaining celibacy, with all its pros and cons, because we have ten centuries of good experience rather than failures. “For now”. A poor church for the poor by serving, accompanying and defending - charity, love and justice. For his birthday he invited ten homeless people to come. The church as a field hospital for the wounded. Compassion, mercy and reconciliation. The Church through the heart. A church with a simple message - Pope Francis, “We lose people because they don’t understand what we are saying, because we have forgotten the language of simplicity and impart an intellectualism foreign to our people.” The Church of Emmaus - why did they leave? “the church appeared too weak…..distant from the needs, cold…..caught up with itself. a prisoner of its own rigid formulas…a relic of the past, unfit for new questions.” Church of Emmaus. We need a church unafraid of going forth into their night - capable of meeting them on their way- capable of entering into their conversation - Abide to dialogue with these disciples who having left Jerusalem behind. “Are we still a church capable of warming hearts? A church capable of leading back to Jerusalem? Do we see to it that our work and that of our priests is more pastoral than administrative? Are we creating a pro active mindset? Do we promote opportunities and possibilities to manifest God’s mercy? Do we make lay faithful share in the mission?etc… In conclusion, a pastoral Church, preaching a gospel - based message of love, compassion, and justice - not a nagging church wagging its fingers at people. Christianity is spread through witness, not argument; the heart not the head. ….” I prefer a church that makes mistakes because it is doing something to one that sickens because it steps in.” A church willing to leave the sacristy and go out into the streets.

Montreal you are so beautiful but please I speak only two languages and the other is not French.

I had removed this from my post. I did so mainly because I did not want to offend anyone. However, this is not meant to offend. Opinions here, unless I say our mine, are not really mine. Some is hearsay. So, I have reposted this with some amendments because I have an objective in how I see life and wish to write about it. I think positive change is important. We are emotional beings but we are also intelligent beings. We see life from our own persepectives. Sometimes, we need to see life from the perspectives of others who suffer. To move ahead in life, we need to think what it is we want in life for ourselves? Why is it difficult for some people to examine a difference and not get emotionally charged where they will insult or even kill another? There are different opinions and different perspectives. We can live in no where land and never know there is a life out there different from our own. Communist countries are famous for that. Ask China. Oh don't. Recently a diplomat got very upset with a reporter for asking about the arrest of a Canadian. The diplomat though here in Canada as our guest thought he was in a position where his view was more important. Of course it made the news. I was proud that our Prime Minister was not impressed with him either. This is a free country and I hope it shall always be free. However, I think that all people should be free. So read and enjoy, two days in my life. I write about it because I think it speaks. My monthly trips to Montreal is almost becoming routine. I am now greeted by my hotel manager by name, as I enter. That is a bonus. I do not destroy hotel rooms and I do not steal towels. I leave a tip which I am sure is below standard but I am now a regular. On my last trip my tooth flew out of my mouth and I gasped in horror. I was fortunate enough to find a dental office where I was asked if I could wait for fifteen minutes. “Wee Wee, yes I can wait.” I found the service was cheaper than where I go to in Toronto, however, I can still smile without looking like the wicked witch of the West. I may have to incur the costs of the dental work since the insurance rejected their claim. I have yet to write a letter of explanation to the insurance people. However, I am just grateful that they took me in immediately. I love laughing and smiling etc….so ……………..However, I am delaying going to my own dentist until I am sure my tooth does not pop out. Everyone was so polite and obliging even though I could not speak French. However, on this trip I found some subtle hints by a few incidents that perhaps not everyone is so welcoming to non speaking French visitors. I normally spend time in company of people who fully embrace me and love me regardless of my English speaking handicap. I love it immensely that I can look outside my hotel room and have the best vista ever. I love it that I can cross the street and get my second best coffee and walk a block away and get my Starbucks. I had Lebanese food for the first time on this trip out in the patio enjoying the best weather ever with zilch humidity. Being surrounded by university students and profs is always a comfort in whatever place in Canada and abroad. For others it may be a security blanket. However, during this trip when I went to the Business section of Via and sat where I normally sit where the coffee is of course, my screen no longer had an English station. Now there are two other tv screens at either end, but the main screen (I call it as the main, now reports the news in the French language). Why I asked the woman who normally checks my ID? As she left to find out, one of the American men smiled at me. One for me for speaking up. Would I speak out about something like that in another country. Of course not. Especially if they throw me in jail for having a voice and being a woman. No sireeeeeee. But hey, this is Canada, the land of opportunity, right? So, if I am curious about why my tv screen is now “French” where I like to sit at the bar and drink my coffee and watch people walking by to go to work, What is wrong with that? I enjoy listening to what tourists think of our city. I want them to have a pleasant vacation and return. I love it when a tourist stops me to ask a question and I oblige as if I am getting paid by the city to do so. I have travelled much and always appreciate kindness and not having a submachine gun pointed at my stomach. I hear a few Americans talking. I like Americans perhaps because I grew up with American television and feel a kindred spirit. “I was at the York years ago and I am amazed at the improvements. Did you stay there?” Mr American is asking another Mr American, “No. But I was in the lobby and that was very nice.” While they are talking, I think of the last time I was at the Royal York having high tea which included a tour of the roof garden and bee hive. They were talking nice of my city and I always enjoy that. “Look at all the people!” another Mr American declares. I look at all the people and do not think that they are all that much out there. “…. and they are not wriff wraff either.” I am still looking out and no there is no wriff wraff. No, only business people are walking at this time of the day but I remain quiet. After all this is not my conversation (wriff wraff? I haven’t heard of that expression since……? I have brought two books to read, one is a psychology book which I won at a seminar and I am close to reading two hundred pages but it is very dry and I studied personality psychology, so a lot of it is boring. Actually, most of it is. It was written by a professor at York University but I never had him. During my time, all the texts were American. “Why?” I had asked. The answer was that Canadians were not writing them, but that has changed. The other book is a page turner that is difficult to put down. “No Time For Goodbye” by Linwood Barclay. His photo looked familiar and why not? He is a former columnist for the Toronto Star. They usually have a small photo of reporters telling their stories so that is probably why he looks familiar. I never did read my text book on the trip (my bad). I have to read, etc… for my college. It would probably just be easier to go back to school and do my PHD. Actually, I was checking out the best school in North America and dismissed it immediately when I read that the professor’s one regret was torturing an animal. He used psychology to explain that but there is no way on earth that I would ever, ever torture an animal or person and so I have finally dismissed that university. I would not be able to shake hands with the man. Now I did have a student once tell me that she felt bothered that she had to kill pregnant rabbits to study their fetuses. She could not understand how to deal with that bothering her. My response to her was that she should start worrying when it stopped bothering her. Now this is from me who had to drop science which I loved so much in high school because Mr Meanie high school teacher wanted me to dissect a frog and I refused. Really people! I feel for students who have problems with their elementary and high school teachers. Don’t give up. Hang in there. Anyhow, really if you are going to advertise your university and their profs in that matter, I don’t care how much money you attract, how old you are and how long you have been number one, I would never, never, never go there, even for free after reading that bio. Sometimes reputation is all about money. Anyhow, enough about torture for now. The train lady comes back and tells me that the French screen decision derives from Headquarters in Montreal and they cannot change that but I can complain to Via. “No” I respond. I pick my battles and because they picked my favourite screen, in front of my favourite stool, where I love to drink my coffee, and not see wiff wraff, why should I complain? “There are two screens on either side of the French speaking one, speaking English. So the French have centre stage? Anyhow, I am nice to the Via employee because I love Via, the food is great, the service is spectacular and I consider our service the best. However, I would love to see the French speaking screens somewhere away from my main coffee area. I tell the Via employee that I pick my battles and will not be complaining because Via is good to vets, giving them 25% off. I don’t think anyone beats them in Canada. Though many vets complain about what they are getting, I remember a time when nothing was given, nada. You will have to read my second book to learn more about that (www.silvaredigonda.com go ahead I dare you to buy one of my books). So, I am not complaining about anything at all, just remarking about the French speaking screen which no one was watching. It may look like I am watching the screen but I am reading the other. I read about a Japanese seven year old boy who was left in a forest by his parents to punish him and now he cannot be found. I wonder how scared that little boy is and feel for him. I understand that the parents probably love him very much and will have to live with what they did because the little boy has still not been found (I am glad he was found and is ok). That is why we need to educate parents on how to be parents. They have the most important job in the world and no tools on how to be the best they can be for their young ones - very sad indeed. So, now I am alone. All the Americans have gone. They would sneak peeks at me. Yup, this is what a Canadian looks like. A few smile and I smile back because I am a polite and nice Canadian. I can see that one of the Americans loves it that I was brave enough to make a comment, polite as it was, about a French speaking screen, in the main part that people like to grab their coffee and pop. Yes, sireeeeeeee. Of course they do not need to know that we do not all have manners. When Via had a bowl of chocolates at Easter, I was surprised to see one woman fill her pockets. They really should be teaching manners in school. Can you imagine, “Ok listen here girls and boys. When you see a big bowl of chocolates meant for everyone how many would you take? Little boy raises hand. “My mom takes as much as she can. She says she has paid for them?” “And what do you think?” Little boy looks very seriously at the teacher. “I did not see her pay for anything.” I decide to get a head start to the area where I will get on my train. I go by the endless line where a mob of people are waiting for the train to Montreal. I casually stroll by them all and stand behind a man and his young daughter in the business class area. The man begins to talk to me, while his young daughter gives me the eye. She is cautious about me. I smile at her. The smile is not returned. He is a visitor and I encourage him to come and live in Canada where his daughter will have more opportunities, than she ever can living in her home country. He ponders the possibility. I see my fellow business class people (they removed First class to make it sound nicer and more inclusive?). Euphemisms have replaced what may sound unpleasant or offensive. We live in a very non -offensive city. Hey just last weekend I was at a garage sale and saw an old fashioned chalkboard with a protruding cup of java and some inscription etc…. “How much do you want to pay for it?” The tall charismatic, very self assured man said as he approached me from nowhere. “How much do you want” I asked in reply and this was repeated back and forth and then he suddenly declared $50.00. I walked away. Mr Charismatic apologized for offending me. “I guessed he was a teacher because he was so concerned about offending me.” Is he impressed? I guessed correctly which was not too difficult since I was at a school bazaar. “How is 4.00?” he asks. I look at the sign and wonder if it will look tacky in my kitchen. I give him the 4.00 and after seeing it on my kitchen wall replacing the famous cafe shop in Paris, I knew it was a good deal. It has lots of character and I have not seen anything like it before. I thought it would look good only in a bar but my gut was right. Anyhow, how did I stray to my find? Of course - First class, primo or prima classa - no more - now business class - Same difference. There is some confusion of where we are supposed to go, because once again there is construction. I overhear the female Via employee who pops up speaking into her radio explaining that she was not at her post because she was helping someone. Me thinks, perhaps calling someone to help one person may be better than a group of business - 1st class looking like lost sheep trying to find a detour to the train. A tall elegant looking black woman in a fine business suit is behind me claiming she is lost. She is American and it is her first time with Via. I assure her that this is a mere hiccup and that service is wonderful at Via. She admits she heard me ask about the French speaking screen. I let her know that it was a new change. With monthly trips you get to notice change, which becomes the new normal if no one notices, like our grocery packages and cans getting smaller and smaller while the prices carefully grow. You are not fooling anyone Corps. She follows me to business (first class). We enter the train and she wonders where she is supposed to be sitting. I assure her that I shall help. There and behold we are sitting on opposite seats from each other (I was supposed to sit by myself - a mere hiccip). By the end of the trip we are buddies. I think I have convinced her that Via is the best and Amtrack not so much. She raises an interesting point. Why does Amtrack not learn from Via? Very good question. At one point I said it. “How is Trump?” She grins, “I was waiting to see how long it was going to take?” She gets it all the time We talk about Trump for a bit and we seem to be in agreement with the politics. We depart at the train station to our respective locations. I have met so many interesting people travelling. I realize that I want to do it more and that I miss it. When I called for my hotel room there was only one remaining. I did not expect what I was given. She said it was a suite. I thought it was a condo. It had two bedrooms with three beds, a kitchen dining/living room with wall to wall glass. I sit at the arm chair by the window and look up at the hill and all it offers. I’m in heaven. I look down at the street and see the liveliness of the city. “This is all I would need” I think or do I say it out loud? Of course I need a balcony? I ponder at how long it has been since I actually lived in an apartment. A house needs so much care but a condo? Something to think about. I think back to my view of a condo on the waterfront which I fell in love with, however, my school mate did not appreciate it. I was asked to come along since I love water. I saw the planes landing and the CN tower beside me and even the 17th floor did not dissuade me. If I had no pets who love fresh air and the freedom of being spoiled in a house, I would have grabbed it in a second. Options are always open. I love options. I go visit my cousin and he tells people how I visit him (monthly) and how it is good for me because he forces me to take a vacation. I marvel at the insight. I love my cousin and there is no doubt that he loves me. He is like a second dad to me. He is dying and I have promised to visit him monthly until he does. I am exhausted but he insists that I stay longer and so I do. He tells me his arms feel itchy and so I go to “Metro” It is a big grocery store and we have them all over Toronto. I enter and I ask for skin cream. She responds in the French language. I tell her I do not speak French. She appears angry for some reason. I find the cream and then I try to pay for it but there is no one at the counters. I return to the woman who is engaged in a conversation in the French language with another employee. She is looking at me as she continues speaking in French. Finally she takes the time to address me again in the French language. I ask where I can pay for the product. She points to the same register where I have just returned from and glares at me. I return to the register and a young woman later comes to the register. I am fuming by now at the rudeness of the older woman. The younger woman smiles. I don’t think she likes the deportment of the older woman. I go to an adjacent pharmacy and buy sun block for myself since I was informed that Metro does not carry it. I am sure Toronto does. The woman at the pharmacy is so civil in contrast to the “Metro” woman that I thank her for being kind. I share my experience. She nods. She tells me that she tries to explain to people who feel that everyone should speak French that she has travelled throughout the world and everyone speaks English as a second language. I nod in agreement. We both agree that it is too bad for Montreal. I have another experience and I am asked if I come from England. This is from a hospital porter I believe. I miss it at first. I do not realize initially that he is being smart. He tells me he is joking. I accept it and dismiss it and recall hearing on the news that at a particular hospital some staff member was refusing to speak English in Montreal. It is not the same hospital. I have the opportunity to talk to many people and one immigrant tells me he wants to go and live in St Catherines since he is tired of the anti English dissidents. I tell him that he would love St Catherines. He is angry and he speaks French fluently. “It is the government, the Separatists!” he declares. I think about that one. He begins to swear in anger and I wonder how such a beautiful city can be so divided by mere language alone. It gives me a lot to think about. There are countries where they fight about religion, gender etc……..However, we are in Canada. I returned to Metro deciding I will complain to the American Corporation about the English/French incident. Regardless, of a person’s political view, when employed they have a job to do for that company. I approach the woman who had been so rude, not wanting to speak English when she knew how and behaving quite condescending. I ask for a card. There is a complete round about change in her personality. She knows I will be complaining. She is suddenly polite with flawless English speech, aside from the accent. She says she does not have a card. I accept the change in her demeanour. I suddenly feel sorry for her. So much hostility for something so silly as not speaking a language that others wish to impose on you. I thank her and leave. I met another elderly woman who does not speak French but has lived in Montreal all her life. She tells me that she has gotten used to people being rude to her. I look at this gentile woman, dressed meticulously, and her husband and realize that I could never live in a city where one demeans another by simply something as mundane as language. Of course, when they speak European French, I am amazed at how much I do understand. One man tells me not to go to a particular place because they have “separatists.” He tells me how he goes there only when he must for business and how fast he leaves it. I tell him that this can only be temporary. I see so many new immigrants now living in Montreal and that as it becomes more multicultural things will change. Then I am told, “Did you know that a Saudi Arabian has bought the Fairmount and is renovating it?” “The Fairmount?” I ask stupidly. “Yes, like your Royal York in Toronto?” I respond in kind, “Really?” I recall being told that a California woman was sexually assaulted by a Saudi Prince and that it was hushed with money. “How do you know about it then?” I asked. “The underground paper” he replied, “from our country.” I ponder once again. On my return to Via to come home, I check the internet but cannot utilize my email because if is in French. On my last visit it was the same and I tried to change it to English but though it had about five other language options, English was not one of them. I wonder how much energy it must take to be angry. I will always love Montreal. I have fond memories of my time there. I have met so many caring and loving people. I get on a taxi here after a relaxing trip with a wonderful meal in the train on the way home. I meet someone who wants to work in Dubai. He will do well. There is no middle class there, only rich and poor he informs me. He seems pleases about that. He is sure he will be rich. He is a student with a promising career. “Perhaps since you are male, but not me as a woman.” I respond. He is shocked that I would think that. “I am very vocal.” I continue, “I believe they threw an American woman in jail for complaining about something.” He does not refute it. Only poor and rich - I personally think that it is horrible. So much money and who suffers? I wonder if we were headed that way in Canada? We need to stop that. There should be no poverty anywhere. There is no need for any child to be hungry anywhere. There is no need for anyone to suffer because they cannot get health care. I turn on the news this morning and see that there is “girl voice” or something like that being held in Toronto. The narrator says it is a difficult time for girls nowadays. I wonder why he thinks that? There are many opportunities now and I respect young people today. When I was young we were quite self absorbed. Teens nowadays start up their own organizations. Both boys and girls get involved with causes. I see a future that with education we can teach that it is wrong for someone to have no food and to feed them and teach them to learn how to resolve that. We can take a stand against bullies who think they can rule countries and cities and have them accountable for their actions. We can teach parents to not repeat the errors of their own parents but to provide a safe and loving environment for those who have the highest gift of bringing new people into the world to be the best that they can be. We can teach that rather to be divided by differences we can learn how to embrace each other. There is so much strength in unity. I wonder if what I learned in educational psychology is being utilized in the business world? We have a long way to go but we can get there with the right tools. I wish you all a wonderful day. I love life. It is precious. What do you think?