Addiction

Though my interest has never been addiction, I don’t think it is possible to do my line of work and not have to deal with it. I have dealt with alcohol addiction, sexual addiction, porn addiction, marijuana addiction, pain killer addiction and gambling. I don’t think I have missed any, but could have. Addiction touches so many people. It also plays havoc in relationships. Addiction is not only suffered by the survivor, it affects everyone he or she lives with. One addiction is bad enough but I have found that multiple addictions can be common as well. In my psych studies, I learned how a person needs a little and then a bit more to get the same high which continues until it reaches a peak and then on the decline it requires an amount just to no longer feel high but just not to feel so bad. Addicts do not want to be addicted. There is a process there as well. First there is denial, then there may be an awareness that there may be a problem. There may be an awareness that there is a problem but the person is not prepared to do something about it right now, and then there may be a day when the person becomes determined to do something and goes for help or tries to stop on his or her own. There is so much shame for the person who may be a pillar in the community or not. There is shame and so much hurt when a person tries to stop and discovers that he or she cannot. An addict will lie and steal and blame others. An addict suffers. I remember a Priest once saying that he had conducted a funeral service for an alcoholic who had died. He had been homeless. No one but himself was at the funeral. I remember thinking how sad that was. I have worked as an intern where one particular alcoholic who was dying told me how he had lost his job, his family and how worthless he felt. He too ended up in the streets. How do we care for our people when we leave them to die in the streets, consumed and alone, due to addiction? I was recently reading a special section in my latest copy of AAMFT I believe it was. I am always reading daily and when I want to keep something I tear out the page. I don’t have the page number(I’m bad) but Anthony J. Mele, Psy.D, Chief Clinical Officer, Sovereign Health reports that by adolescence, most personality disorder traits are obvious and the average age of the first use of drug or alcohol among minors is between 13 and 16 years old (according to John Hopkins Center for Alcohol Marketing and Youth). He continues that while the etiology of addiction is multi-determined, it manifests as chronic and maladaptive ways of dealing with one’s environment. This suggests that treating the underlying personality disorder is important. He continues that there is a 50% to 75% chance that an individual with a drug or alcohol addiction will also have one or more personality disorders. I normally try to deal with the underlying issues of addiction while directing them to therapists who deal only with addiction. I also like to recommend rehab and that all can take a long time for someone wanting help. Honesty is a problem, again due to shame. I don’t know how effective short stints in rehab are. I am sure there are stats out there if you want to do your own research. I attended a Marian day where a speaker spoke of his addiction. He is popular among Catholics because there is a documentary film, “The Triumph” which tells of his story of overcoming addiction. Ben and his mother were speakers and it was noted that addiction was in the family. Ben spoke of feeling bad and not worthy which is something I have so often heard in relation to addiction. He went to Medjugorje and lived in community for three years. He had to go to Europe to get the help he needed because he could not find it in North America. Though it worked for him, “many could not do it.” There was “ a lot of praying” and discipline. After lunch or dinner there was always someone to do talk to. There was always something to do and talking. Being placed in a state of being uncomfortable was also practised. For example if one was a wonderful cook, he or she would never see the kitchen. One was to be quiet. As he spoke, I could understand the rational of what was being created for the addicts. They were offered discomfort because they were being provided with a setting of what would normally cause them to turn to their addiction, but this exposure would also teach them that they can cope without turning to their addiction and begin learning how to cope without it. Distraction is used and even if someone does not believe in the power of prayer, it provides a calming effect and can be another distraction. Apparently this was started by a Catholic nun, who obviously impressed him when he saw her. Ben reported there are 60 community houses in the world. Ben stated that initially he was self absorbed (I find this to be common among addicts initially as well). Then Ben experienced the guilt at hurting others and making peace. He was living in the world. Some cannot stop their addiction and will use and get kicked out of community liveing. Others who used would be dead six months later. Once a month parents would come for counselling. The question would be, “Why do you think your child is like that?” Hope was being reborn. He said that you go through the process of pain and suffering to be stronger. Ben is now a public speaker. He landscapes which offers him the opportunity to speak. It offers him the opportunity to pray when working. Ben states that there are two to four community houses in each state but none in Canada. Ben Wasiniak was very open regarding his experiences. I am aware of some community houses in Toronto. I know of one place where I applied for an internship. In my opinion I found that the methods used in this particular location was unethical and therefore turned down the opportunity. It did not have government endorsement either. Ben Wasiniak said that he is on Facebook and encouraged the large audience to friend him for job opportunities. He also provides information. There is no doubt that addicts suffer. How can an addict learn to cope with what life throws at him or her without reaching out to the deadly habit? Remember that even when you are in your pit of darkness and you think that no one cares and you are struggling to just make it through one more day, there is hope. Also, be mindful that if you do quit and start again, it is part of a process, and do not give up. I am a firm believer that there is help for anyone who wants to change their lives. You just have to make that decision for yourself. What do you think?