Homosexuality

I have promised to write about this topic. Since the topic is in the air again with Rob Ford wanting only the Canadian Flag up, I have to agree. In my opinion only the Country and Province should fly boldly in the sky. But that is not to bash the gay community. That is only to respect our flag and what it represents to me. That is only my personal view. There are many views regarding homosexuality. Sometimes we fail to see the person because of their colour, gender, sexuality and station in life. We live in an imperfect world. We enjoy bashing others who may be different then ourselves. Sometimes by putting anyone else down, one feels superior and elated. This way he and/or she does not have to look at herself. There is a mentality of I am right and you are wrong. I am smart and you are stupid. I am better than you, because you are not like me. Is this right? Everyone should be free to express themselves without offending fallacious comments. I was once in a restaurant where one of the women in my party began bashing the waiter because he is gay. She justified it with quoting the Bible. I put an immediate stop to that. I was furious. One of the other women later told me that she wished that she had the guts to say something. That surprised me. I thought I was alone in defending the waiter. He was working and he was polite. If the woman does not like homosexuals, that is her right. Not everyone can like everyone. However, she does not have the right to berate someone because he is gay. I reminded this woman how her own people had been discriminated against simply because of colour. Her hate could not let her simulate the information. That is what prejudice is. It is hate. It is prejudging. I like to think of people having a template where ideas, traditions and values have been ingrained by their respective exposures. A child growing up with same gendered parents will think that is the norm, until she goes to school and realizes there is another way of living. This applies to children who are abused, come from loving parents etc………How you are raised, you consider the norm, until you see how other people live. There are also other factors. I have worked with people dying from HIV. It was my choice only because no one else in my group wanted to. I wanted to experience a wider range. However, what I learned about the effects of prejudice, about hate and what it does to people and how one may suffer in the gay community, is an experience I would never trade, even though I suffered to see how cruel people can be to each other. It opened my eyes wider than I thought possible. It is not too long ago that Trudeau legalized homosexuality. I remember those days. It was not all that long ago that it was removed from the DSM, which derived from peer pressure. I grew up in a homophobic era. I have been in a taxi cab, listening to a driver tell me how homosexuals are killed in his country and how he is horrified in Toronto. That causes me concern. Because I live in Toronto and have been educated at two universities here, my exposure to the homosexual community is no big deal. I study with this group, I work with this group and I do not feel that I am any better or any less. I have come to learn that this is the norm. I am tired of listening to people who think they are so much better than the rest of the world. Sometimes it is thought that I can magically “cure” someone who happens to be gay. There is no cure. There is no illness. I do not cure. In my studies it was indicated that 10% of the population is gay. That is the recorded estimate. However, those are the statistics of people who are openly gay. There is an unknown number of people whose orientation is unknown. I forget that there is a stigma against homosexuals because I live in a relatively big city compared to the rest of my area. To me it is a normal way of life that is not concerning, except when I hear the occasional bashing which is one too many. At a Conference recently one therapist thought that the speaker was bias because she was speaking of couple therapy and believed she was omitting homosexual couples. I did not think that. Couples are couples regardless of their orientation, skin colour or backgrounds. Those may be factors which can be brought into the therapy room but may not necessarily define the problems of their relationship. It is the relationship that is worked on. However with this therapist, she is exposed to the problems faced in a small community. I realize that because I live in a city where homosexuality is the norm; it is no big deal for me. However, in a small community where there is more isolation, there may be more factors involved for a couple who may be the minority in the community and face other challenges. So I am going to conclude that homosexuality is not a disease. There have been studies (in my undergrad) that male homosexuals use both sides of their brain as women, compared to men who do not. Keep in mind that people are also born with both female and male sexual organs. In the past this would be kept from them and decisions made for them. There are so many variations in life. Nothing is simple as two extremes. For some of the religious people who think that they have all the answers, keep in mind the way Jesus lived among the poor and those ridiculed. Jesus was always in conflict with what was considered the norm. Why not begin showing a bit of compassion and love towards others and take a better look at how you can improve and grow yourself. If you have a son or daughter who is gay, what you can do is love your child. They have not chosen their orientation. As someone once told me, “Do you think I would have chosen this life, if I had a choice?” Love your child and try to understand the differences. This child is not your private property. This child is a gift for you to love and nurture. For Roman Catholics you should know there are masses at Our Lady Of Lourdes for the gay community. I have attended a one day workshop for counselling gay Catholics. Have a nice day and remember your best friend may be gay. Would that take away your friendship? Oh and while I am at it, bashers are sometimes gay themselves, who hate that part of themselves or want to hide that part of themselves. Remember that the next time you want to bash someone to make yourself feel better.