Why Pastoral Counselling and what does it mean?

I am at times asked by a few of my peers, why I have an interest in Pastoral Counselling, since I do not require it for my practise. I take questions asked of me more seriously than before, perhaps because an important aspect of my practise is active listening. We are all the product of everything that has touched us. We are never the same after any experience. We change sometimes for the better and sometimes for worse. Change is constant unless there is no change at all and that I think is impossible. We are a reflection of all that has been imposed on us and what we have imposed on ourselves. Religion, Politics and Sex, three things that may cause great and interesting arguements are part of that experience of life. To ignore or dismiss any part of a person is in my opinion not healing for the entire person. I think it is important to understand the spirituality and religion of the person because it is a very important part of that person. Sometimes there is trauma associated with the "three non topics." People come from cultures where there is no freedom. People come from cultures where they have been raped and dismissed of any individuality. People come from cultures where they have been exploited. People are frightened of their sexuality because they have been raised to think of it as dirty, they have been sexually abused; they have been exploited. People come from religious backgrounds where they think they need to be subservient, or not worthy of love or full of sin. We live in a world where there are so many ideas, values, and possibilities for opportunity. Yet we live in a world where too many are obstructed from finding their true self. They do not know who they are because they have not been allotted the opportunity to find themselves, even from their own homes. In my opinion Pastoral Counselling is counselling with love of the person. It is counselling with acceptance of the person as who and she is regardless of the respective past and confusion. It is in my opinion, providing a hand and walking with the person through the wilderness so that the person is not alone and comes out finding his or her promised land. There is no need for candles in my opinion or literal prayer because the journey is a prayer. Pastoral Counselling is going beyond the science by incorporating all the possibilites that may be. Pastoral Counselling means different things to different people because that is who we are. We come from different places with different baggage good and not so good and that too is brought into the counselling room. So, do I need to be a Pastoral Counsellor. No. I do not. I am quite functional and effecient as a Registered Therapist. However, I want to be able to be an inviting figure to someone from any faith so he or she can come to me and share their experiences and spirituality without judgement or disbelief. You see, I believe my clients with all that is brought to me. As a Pastoral Counsellor, I accept their confusion and lost of hope based on the conflicts they feel from the after effects of their own perspectives from their religion. Do I need this? Perhaps I just want this for myself and my clients who have their own spirituality and religion aspiration, confusion, etc..... to feel comfortable to bring it to the table and be taken seriously. This weekend why not take some time to reflect on what you believe and why? Do you feel that your beliefs are healthy? Do you feel that you have been judged harshly? Do you believe you are better than someone else who believes differently? Have you been rejected because you are from a different faith than your family of origin? Have you married someone from a different faith which is confusing to your children? How do you cope with what is happening to you? Are you happy where you are at? Where do you want to go to? Have a nice weekend and do something nice for someone you love. Spending time with that person may be all that is required. That is the greatest gift.

On line Counseling

Counseling On Line With the introduction of computers, society has evolved to another level. That level is one, that is wireless. Technology is on a continuous path of progression, instantly connected to the entire world through the lens of a computer, as compact as a cell phone or as large, as a screen is available. Each home now is equipped with some sort of social media technology and a generation is being born into this new wave of banking, buying, selling and studying all on line. It is only a matter of time that counseling on line will become routine, as all else is becoming. Is on line counseling practical? Is it safe? Is anything safe on line? The benefits and risks of counseling on line, to the therapist and to the client, need to be investigated and solutions found by addressing the following questions: 1. What are the on line counseling opportunities, complaints, and reviews? 2. What zones from a respective Code of Ethics are there to determine if there is provision for counseling on line and which codes would be inclusive for the protection of both the client and therapist? 3. What difficulties and dilemmas may be encountered in theory and in practice and what is positive? This paper regarding the ethics of counseling on line will focus on these three questions. What on line counseling is available? Counseling On Line 3 The internet provides an international source of information for on line counseling. Type on line counseling, on a key board and 17,600,000 sites are available (Google). Type it again, a few hours later and about 40,400,000 sites are available (Google). This is the world of the web, where information is constantly changing, altering, increasing and decreasing. This is the web where people have instant information world-wide. On line counseling is email, skype video conferencing, blog and any other counseling possible on line. For the purposes of this paper, on line counseling will be restricted to email, mindful of associated problems. While searching for on line counseling on the internet, there are on line counselors who provide and list their credentials, while others do not. A counseling site named Cozy Therapy, promises, not to sell the information received from the client, and an informed consent is available to preview on line. The advertisement for this particular site reveals that the counseling is not recommended for one who is suicidal, and a potential client must indicate as such, on the informed consent site (Burris). One of the questions posed to potential clients, stipulate that “the use of therapy for sexual gratification will not be tolerated. Your session will end immediately and no refund will be given” (Burris, Getting Started). In the questions and answers portion of the same site, one of confidentiality is cited. “Is on-line counseling confidential?” The response is “Yes. We use the most trusted software in the industry to enure confidentiality. Our therapy sessions are encrypted. Also, you have a transcript of our session...you can review it and process the information for as long as needed” (Burris). The spelling mistake of “enure” rather than ensure is that of the web site and not this writer. The “most trusted software in the industry” is not identified. There are Christian counseling sites, and one in particular claims to be free. Scrolling on this site is lengthy, with biblical quotes. No qualifications of the counselors are Counseling On Line 4 listed. The site also suggests that any client taking medication should not stop. Also, advertised is the option of sharing of one’s journal, with others in a forum (Christianity Oasis). The “program was created to help lost souls and troubled Christians find truth….”(Christianity Oasis). There is extensive counseling on line opportunities, providing different arenas of counseling. Some who do not list qualifications, may lure clients with attractive advertising. Who is the counselor? Is the counselor qualified? Endless sites contradict what others offer. The opportunity for on line counseling is available at a large scale. How would a client identify who is a legitimate on line counselor? What are the online Complaints and Reviews? There are complaints about therapists in general. None seem connected to the internet counseling. One site depicted 13,193 visitors, indicating that there is an interest regarding complaints against therapists. This service was shut down due to spam and malicious users (Therapist Ratings). On line counseling is not altogether a recent discovery. One article provided a 1997 review, questioning on line psychotherapy and listing a definite availability of 50 counselors but a possibility of 100 counselors. This review lists one advantage of on line counseling, as people believing they are anonymous and therefore behaving differently. This behavior will have Clients introduce, more serious issues quicker, than face to face. A disadvantage is that the client may not know who the counselor really is. There can be a question of lack of credentials. Counseling On Line 5 A disadvantage for the counselor is that geographical boundaries are being crossed, and therefore the counselor may be breaking the laws, of another country (Psych Central). What zones from respective Code of Ethics codes, pertain to on line counseling and would be inclusive for the protection of both the client and therapist? The Canadian Association for Spiritual Care (CASC), Code of Ethics, Ethical Principals in Relationships with Colleagues, 5.3, indicates to “Exercise due caution when communicating through the internet or other electronic means.” This is nothing specific to on line counseling but this section could be used as a guideline. Defining “exercise due caution” is left to the opinion of the counselor. This is open to interpretation and therefore ambiguous. The Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association (CCPA), Counseling Relationships, B16, Computer Use, is more in depth. Clients and Counselors identity need to be verified. The client should be capable of using the computer and application, and follow-up. This section also refers to D5 Evaluation and Assessment, Use of Technology which indicates: “that counselors recognize that their ethical responsibilities are not altered… or diminished” by using technology “for the administration of evaluation and assessment instruments” and maintaining ethical principles of “privacy, confidentiality and responsibility for decisions regardless of the technology used.” Though the section D5 pertains specifically to Evaluation and Assessment, the same principles could be updated to pertain to on line counseling. B17 is specific to the Delivery of Counseling on line 6 services, by telephone, teleconferencing and internet. This section informs counselors to follow additional, ethical guidelines as those pertaining to telephones. Again, these additional guidelines are left to the discretion of the counselor. The American Association of Pastoral Counselors, (AAPC) Principle 111 – Client Relationships, I, is specific to Interactive long-distance counseling delivery when the pastoral counselor and client live in two different locations. There is also a restriction that this mode, cannot completely replace face-to-face therapy. The section also indicates that all “reasonable steps” be taken to ensure the client understands the limits of “long-distance” therapy but does not specify what these limits are. The client is also to understand the “computer application, what it is used for, and its possible effects.” Principle 1V, regarding Confidentiality A, requires all records kept on a client be stored under lock and key. There is no provision for on line records. The Canadian Psychological Association (CPA), Code of Ethics has no zones connected to on line counseling but the Ethical Standards, Respect for Society, 1V.17, indicates that psychologists are “to familiarize themselves with the laws and regulations of the societies in which they work.” This would be applicable to on line counseling, that the counselor be aware of the laws, from where the client is being counseled from. Does the counselor really know who the client is on the internet and where the client is actually from? The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) Code of Ethics has no code specific to the internet. But Principle 11, Confidentiality, 2.5, does indicate that a “therapist arranges for the storage, transfer, or disposal of client records in ways that maintain Counseling on Line 7 Confidentiality, and safeguard the welfare of clients.” How confidential is counseling on line? How are files contained? What difficulties and dilemmas may be encountered in theory and in practice and what is positive? In 2006, the internet was regularly being used by almost one billion people (Spinello, ix). Over 90% of undergraduate students use the Internet daily, and 67% are on line from 0.5 to 4 hours daily (Scott and Thompson, 33). Personal information on the internet can be collected and exchanged. Spyware and cookies allow for internet surveillance (Spinello, 141). Spyware is a program, which is usually installed on a person’s computer, without consent, to track a user’s habits and transmits the information to a third party. Some spyware steal passwords and credit card numbers. Cookies can monitor a user’s behavior to web sites (Spinello, 149). Computers can also remember everything indefinitely (Spinello, 147). What can be used on the personal computer to increase security is a firewall. It is not always effective, but in cases where a breech has occurred, there is a detection system. This software monitors the network to look for signs of an intrusion, takes steps to stop it, and highlights the security hole for repairs (Spinello, 197). There is a public apprehension about the Net’s security flaws. New problems are exposed “underscoring the internet’s fragile infrastructure. Despite the use of firewalls, security scanners, intrusion prevention products, and other security devices, Web sites have been a major target for hackers.” (Spinello, 182-184). One form of “malware” is the “Trojan horse” used to corrupt information into a program, and providing the opportunity to steal passwords and destroy files. Counseling on line 8 The Net’s architecture is radically open, designed to share information and not conceal it. It is possible to develop adequate security, with acceptable risk, but this requires time and money that many government agencies and corporations have been reluctant to undertake (Spinelli, 184-185). The key words here are “acceptable risk,” which even with intensive security measures in place confidentiality cannot be guaranteed. What kind of security is in place for emails? One way is encrypting one’s communication. This makes the information “undecipherable” to anyone not having a “key” to encrypt the data (Spinelli, 185). Private key encryption has been in widespread use since the 1960’s (Spinelli, 198). The best way to verify identity, which would be imperative in counseling, is through the use of digital signatures, which is possible by the use of public key encryption. In this situation a private key is used to verify a signature, after it has been sent (Spinelli, 199). Data protection legislation was formulated in the early 1970’s in Europe. Countries such as Germany and Sweden believe “that privacy is rooted in basic human rights.”(Spinello, 160). This was contrary to the States at that time, where Americans were occupied with debates about the justification of privacy (Spinello, 160). There are laws in place to protect credit and financial information. There are also rules (HIPPA) to safeguard sensitive medical information (Spinello, 165). In 1986 the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act (CFAA) amended in 1996 (U.S. legal system) made it a crime to access “virtually” any protected computer connected to the internet. According to the CFAA, trespass is a federal crime when one pilfers “classified information to perpetrate fraud or to cause damage (eg. to destroy files or disable an operating system). It is also a federal crime to cause the transmission of a program or piece of cod (such as a virus) that intentionally causes damage to a protected computer.” The CFAA also prohibits unauthorized Counseling On line 9 access that causes damage, regardless if it was caused recklessly or not (Spinello, 190-191). A 1998, copy of the Criminal Code of Canada (CC of C), section 310.2, reveals that the user of the unauthorized use of computer, if found guilty of an indictable offence, is liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding ten years. AAMFT’s magazine for therapists offers a more positive outlook for online therapy. One of the first demonstrations of the Internet at U.C. Berkley was a simulated chat therapy session. Renowned founder of Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, Dr Albert Ellis, used online therapy from the early period of the internet, to meet with clients from all over the world (Derrig-Palumbo, 24). Online therapy is beneficial and not restricted to, people who suffer from shame or feel stigmatized going to a face to face visits, people who are homebound, people who live in rural areas, and people who travel extensively. Online therapy is an additional option to enhance accessibility, but not replace face to face therapy. Dr Derrig-Palumbo founded MyTherapyNet.com, which is a global online therapy service with over 2,100 licensed mental health providers. Studies demonstrate that online counseling may be as effective as face to face therapy (Derrig-Palumbo, 24-25). Derrig-Palumbo argues that though client identity becomes important in emergency situations during therapy, face to face clients are rarely asked for identification. They compile an intake form with whatever information they wish to fill. If the client pays cash as well, a therapist may not have an accurate location for the client. However, the client online will need a credit card with a valid billing address which can be used to locate the client in an emergency. An IP address can also be tracked by the Internet Service Provider and an exact location may be provided (Derrig-Palumbo, 26). Derrig-Palumbo recommends that online therapists check with their state boards regarding counseling outside one’s area. A benefit Counseling On line 10 that therapists have, is the ability to offer services, outside of their locality. It also provides their clients greater flexibility such as when they are sick. This permits more regularity for clients and the minimization of revenue loss for the therapist (Derrig-Palumbo). Are online clients satisfied? A 2006 study by Leibert, Archer Jr., Munson and York concluded that online clients were satisfied but not as satisfied as face to face therapy (Haug, 29). A 2006 study by Shaw and Shaw concluded that from 88 counseling web sites they followed, fewer than half, of the online therapists followed accepted ethical practices, and a number provided no licensing information (Haug, 29). Haug reports that most mental health organizations, including AAMFT do not take official positions regarding the practice of online counseling. Exceptions to this rule, are the ethical codes of the America Mental Health Counselors Association and the American Counseling Association (Haug, 29). Haug reports that “informed consent requires the therapist to inform clients of potential risks and benefits of treatments for which generally recognized standards do online counseling may “hamper assessment and effective treatment” since there is an absence of visual or auditory clues (Haug, 30). There is a concern about text-based online counseling. To have every word typed, there is concern that what is being said may be taken out of text. A disgruntled client may have multiplied avenues for discrediting and harming family members or the therapist (Haug, 31). A breach of confidentiality on line has the same consequences as any other breach (Family Therapy, Ethical and legal, p 44). Mills however, has another perspective. She finds written records beneficial. Mills reports that the client can reread the conversations so that something not understood initially can be given further thought. She further indicates that Counseling On line 11 supervision would also be easier since the entire written record can be provided (Mills, 107). The benefits of the client writing emotional events that has happened can be therapeutic in its own right (Mills, 110) and email permits an in-depth relationship between the therapist and client to be “psychologically useful” (Mills, 107). Email may be used to convey positive regard and empathy. A client in the early stages of stress can also be helped, for better well being, through email (Mills, 115). One of the main differences between online counseling and on line pastoral care is the religious element (Mills, 108). There are no known evaluations of pastoral care from the religious aspect since it is presumed to be present in the relationship (Mills, 114). Studies do exist that some clients, value spiritual support alongside clinical therapy (Mills, 115). There is an entire generation being raised without a preconceived notion of living without the internet. Though there is no guarantee of a breach of confidentiality on the internet, there is no guarantee of such a breach, when counseling clients face to face. Society evolves and those that refuse to do so are left behind. There is a concept of balance in life. On line therapy is becoming an option for the public. It is presumed that therapists use the guidelines of the existing Code of Ethics pertaining to their discipline. But the Code of Ethics needs to be brought up to date and training upgraded to include on line counseling. The internet has a different language and offers more challenges. Confidentiality cannot be guaranteed and there is a “reasonable risk” that would need to be included in a consent form. But there is also a positive aspect to the openness of the internet. Breaches of ethics are more Counseling On line 12 visible and as the laws in Canada begin to regulate therapists, breaches on the internet can be corrected and therapists who are not qualified identified. The internet is not fully integrated by all in society and among those are therapists who may not have been integrated into the system. New technology can become a frightening aspect when it is unknown or not part of one’s culture. There was a time when there were no airplanes. There was a time when there were no vehicles and there was a time when there was no internet. Though internet counseling can still be delayed, there is a new generation who will demand it. Internet counseling will be no different than anything else which has been discovered. It is part of evolution. Theology will need to grow along side it and it is. Jesus walked among the people and was always in conflict with the leaders of that time. Jesus was progressive as a man of his time. Pastoral Counseling needs to be as progressive. On line counseling does have potential problems and face to face counseling in this transition will not necessarily become obsolete. We still go to the bank and not all feel comfortable with internet banking. What is important is reaching out to people in areas where there are no counselors. There is an opportunity presented to be leaders and develop and refine the Code of Ethics as it pertains to on line counseling. There is an opportunity and duty, to educate the public of what is ethical, when it pertains to on line counseling. Concerns regarding on line counseling may disturb one counselor but may be found to be an asset to others. When counseling is recorded indefinitely, that may be a concern for some therapists. Counselors are not immune to mistakes and are not perfect and that is why there is always a notation of the word “reasonable” in ethics. It is not that counselors will never make mistakes. When those mistakes are recorded, there can be a concern of liability. Since the internet is now part of the world, pioneers in this technology will make mistakes. Until case Counseling On line 13 laws begin appearing in relations to online counseling, counselors can only ensure that they counsel on line, remembering that they are bounded and responsible to abide in their respective code of ethics and that all listed in the Code of Ethics and more pertains to on line counseling. Counseling on line 14 References American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Code of Ethics. 1-9. Internet. Alexandria, VA, 2001. Available: www.aamft.org. American Association of Pastoral Counselors. Code of Ethics. 1-8. 2010. Internet. 2010. Burris, Tammy. On line counselor. Internet. 21 May 2011. Available: www.cozytherapy.com. Canadian Association For Spiritual Care. Code of Ethics. 1-8. Internet. Counselling and Psychotherapy Research. Routledge, 2009. Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association. Code of Ethics, 1-23. Ottawa, 2007. Internet: www.ccpa-accp.ca. Canadian Psychological Association. Code of Ethics. Third Edition. 1-32. Internet. Ottawa, Ontario, 2000. Christianity Oasis. Internet. 21 May 2011. Available: www.chrisitanityoasis.com. “Considerations for MFTs Working with Clients Online”. Family Therapy Magazine May/Jun. 2009: 24-27. Google. Internet. 21 May 2011. Available: www.google.ca. Counseling On line 15 Haug, Ingleborg E. “Is Online out of Line” A View From the Sidelines. Family Therapy Magazine May/Jun. 2009: 28-31. Martin’s Annual Criminal Code. Criminal Code of Canada. Greenspan, Canada Law Book Ltd: Aurora, 1998. Mills, Stella. Caring Through Technology Using e-mail for Christian pastoral care. On line. Staffordshire University, UK, 2011, 106-116. Available: www.elsevier.com. Psych Central. “Why On Line Psychotherapy? Because There is a Need.” 24 October 1997, Editorial. On Line. Last reviewed by: John. M Grohol. Psy.D., 27 Jan 2007. Available: www.psychcentral.com. Scott, William., and Thompson, Charles. Digital Immigrants, In A World of Digital Natives. Family Therapy Magazine May/Jun. 2009: 32-35. Spinello, A., Richard. Cyberethics. Third Edition. Sudbury: Jones and Bartlett, 2006. “Traversing the World of Distance Therapy” Ethical and legal Matters. Family Therapy Magazine May/Jun. 2009: 44-45. Therapist Ratings. Internet. 21 May 2011. Available: www.therapistratings.com

Preparing to have my second book published. I have vacancies for therapy.

I have begun my third book, before publishing my second. It is exciting. I spent some of the day working things out. However, the weekend is here and I am balancing work with play as I always recommend. I have vacancies for you out there who require therapy. I have one spot Saturday at 11:00 and I am filling Mondays from 1pm. I do charge $100. for a 50 minute hour. My books however are much cheaper. "Hey Guy Buy Me" is 9.95. I am not charging postage and handling at this time. Cheques may be sent to my office for now. My publisher recommended a web site and face book for my book(s). I may do that after my second book is sorted out. In the meantime, thank you for reading my blogs. Take some time this weekend to sort out how you balance your life. I spent some time at High Park this week and also paid a visit to their zoo. The animals are such a delight. Try to spend one day a week just relaxing and having fun, even if you are a workaholic. Balance is more important than you may think. Recharge, re-energize.

Perceptions

Today I was leaving a work location when someone asked me if I would like to join a knitting club. I almost roared with laughter. I left the building still laughing. I walked down the street and would break into laughter. I found it so very funny. I had told the person that if my mom had heard that, she would turn over in her grave. I suggested that asking me to join a dancing club would be more appropriate for me and a very young person beside her remarked quite innocently, "Really?" My mom used to knit. She used to knit beautifully and I have things that she knitted that will outlive me. That is how it all started. I was asked if I had knitted my hat. I do not normally wear anything on my head, but today with the falling snow, I decided to walk to my destination. I wore the hat to keep my hair from getting wet. I wanted to feel the brisk cold. There is nothing more beautiful in the winter than that first clean burst of snow. Of course we have had plenty of snow. People have a tendacy to project. If I am having an affair, I accuse you of having an affair. Did that ever happen to you? I like to knit and therefore you like to knit or should. I do not believe that anyone over the age of thirty would like to dance because I do not know anyone in my family over 30 who does. Look at the way she dresses. Isn't that dress to long, too short, too this too that for her? "Look at him thinking he is the cat's meow. He will never amount to anything, just look at him now talking to that married woman. I bet her husband does not know......" They cannot get along because they are mixed cultures, mixed race, mixed, mixed, mixed. How to nick this in the butt? I probably mentined this in an earlier blog. I was on a touring bus and sitting next to an old guy. I was starting to feel crowded (as he was getting closer) so I sat on the adjoining seat. The old guy than continued to talk to me while leaning his arm on my leg. Not being one to mince words, I kindly told him to not touch me. A woman seated one seat down, sarcastically asked me if I thought I was a teenager. I wondered what she was projecting? The old guy is 35 years older than I am. The eldest I have ever dated was four years older. "Date them young and raise them the way you like." A sweet neighbour once suggested. I thought he was very cute. The point I am making today is that you need to live for yourself. Sometimes people mean well and sometimes people do not mean well at all, but ultimately you need to live and be comfortable with yourself. We are each influenced by all we have experienced. Sometimes one thinks that he or she knows better because he or she is right and that is it. He or she may have 10 friends who thinks like he and she and therefore everyone in his or her opionion, thinks the same. Some people need support. Instead of saying this is how I think and therefore you are wrong to think the way you do is because, "everyone thinks that" or "everyone does that" Really? That is why research is so important. There are samples of the population, you have a Control group and an Experimental group and you can still not prove anything, just disprove it. You can live in the middle of nowhere land and be lost among those who think differently than you do. You can live in the middle of a big city and still feel lost if everyone else seems to be acting differently. What is important is not what others think you should do or be or act, but what you think that should be. Communication is a very valuable tool. Why not spend sometime today or tomorrow and write out these questions: Who am I? Why am I as I am? Am I happy being who I am? Is it who I want to be or is it who others want me to be. Am I stuck in life? Why? What can I do about it? So, as I turn on the music and do a little dance, I shall chuckle again about the thought of knitting. (oops cannot help it. I am laughing. And as for dirty old men? I prefer to raise them the way I like. Any man older or near my dad's age is simply not an option (Yuky!) And how was your day?

Homosexuality

I have promised to write about this topic. Since the topic is in the air again with Rob Ford wanting only the Canadian Flag up, I have to agree. In my opinion only the Country and Province should fly boldly in the sky. But that is not to bash the gay community. That is only to respect our flag and what it represents to me. That is only my personal view. There are many views regarding homosexuality. Sometimes we fail to see the person because of their colour, gender, sexuality and station in life. We live in an imperfect world. We enjoy bashing others who may be different then ourselves. Sometimes by putting anyone else down, one feels superior and elated. This way he and/or she does not have to look at herself. There is a mentality of I am right and you are wrong. I am smart and you are stupid. I am better than you, because you are not like me. Is this right? Everyone should be free to express themselves without offending fallacious comments. I was once in a restaurant where one of the women in my party began bashing the waiter because he is gay. She justified it with quoting the Bible. I put an immediate stop to that. I was furious. One of the other women later told me that she wished that she had the guts to say something. That surprised me. I thought I was alone in defending the waiter. He was working and he was polite. If the woman does not like homosexuals, that is her right. Not everyone can like everyone. However, she does not have the right to berate someone because he is gay. I reminded this woman how her own people had been discriminated against simply because of colour. Her hate could not let her simulate the information. That is what prejudice is. It is hate. It is prejudging. I like to think of people having a template where ideas, traditions and values have been ingrained by their respective exposures. A child growing up with same gendered parents will think that is the norm, until she goes to school and realizes there is another way of living. This applies to children who are abused, come from loving parents etc………How you are raised, you consider the norm, until you see how other people live. There are also other factors. I have worked with people dying from HIV. It was my choice only because no one else in my group wanted to. I wanted to experience a wider range. However, what I learned about the effects of prejudice, about hate and what it does to people and how one may suffer in the gay community, is an experience I would never trade, even though I suffered to see how cruel people can be to each other. It opened my eyes wider than I thought possible. It is not too long ago that Trudeau legalized homosexuality. I remember those days. It was not all that long ago that it was removed from the DSM, which derived from peer pressure. I grew up in a homophobic era. I have been in a taxi cab, listening to a driver tell me how homosexuals are killed in his country and how he is horrified in Toronto. That causes me concern. Because I live in Toronto and have been educated at two universities here, my exposure to the homosexual community is no big deal. I study with this group, I work with this group and I do not feel that I am any better or any less. I have come to learn that this is the norm. I am tired of listening to people who think they are so much better than the rest of the world. Sometimes it is thought that I can magically “cure” someone who happens to be gay. There is no cure. There is no illness. I do not cure. In my studies it was indicated that 10% of the population is gay. That is the recorded estimate. However, those are the statistics of people who are openly gay. There is an unknown number of people whose orientation is unknown. I forget that there is a stigma against homosexuals because I live in a relatively big city compared to the rest of my area. To me it is a normal way of life that is not concerning, except when I hear the occasional bashing which is one too many. At a Conference recently one therapist thought that the speaker was bias because she was speaking of couple therapy and believed she was omitting homosexual couples. I did not think that. Couples are couples regardless of their orientation, skin colour or backgrounds. Those may be factors which can be brought into the therapy room but may not necessarily define the problems of their relationship. It is the relationship that is worked on. However with this therapist, she is exposed to the problems faced in a small community. I realize that because I live in a city where homosexuality is the norm; it is no big deal for me. However, in a small community where there is more isolation, there may be more factors involved for a couple who may be the minority in the community and face other challenges. So I am going to conclude that homosexuality is not a disease. There have been studies (in my undergrad) that male homosexuals use both sides of their brain as women, compared to men who do not. Keep in mind that people are also born with both female and male sexual organs. In the past this would be kept from them and decisions made for them. There are so many variations in life. Nothing is simple as two extremes. For some of the religious people who think that they have all the answers, keep in mind the way Jesus lived among the poor and those ridiculed. Jesus was always in conflict with what was considered the norm. Why not begin showing a bit of compassion and love towards others and take a better look at how you can improve and grow yourself. If you have a son or daughter who is gay, what you can do is love your child. They have not chosen their orientation. As someone once told me, “Do you think I would have chosen this life, if I had a choice?” Love your child and try to understand the differences. This child is not your private property. This child is a gift for you to love and nurture. For Roman Catholics you should know there are masses at Our Lady Of Lourdes for the gay community. I have attended a one day workshop for counselling gay Catholics. Have a nice day and remember your best friend may be gay. Would that take away your friendship? Oh and while I am at it, bashers are sometimes gay themselves, who hate that part of themselves or want to hide that part of themselves. Remember that the next time you want to bash someone to make yourself feel better.

The Environment and the developing brain --- pending…….psychology notes….

The Environment and the developing brain Cont….from Lead (PB) Exposure . main routes of exposure through air and soil pollution; . Main focus of concern - moderate exposure levels - early childhood exposure . Currently accepted “safe” level: 10-15 /100 ml . Lead poisoning (plumbism) >50 - 80 /100 ml Common Environmental Sources - paint (especially in older buildings) - electrical battery casings - automobile emissions - lead plumbing - pottery and cooking utensils (eg. Old pewter, some paints and glazes). - Leaded crystal Effects of Lead . Blocks absorption of Iron, zinc and calcium (critical to nervous system and bones). . Accumulates in body tissues and selectively in certain brain regions: Hippocampus Amygdala Neocortex Behavioral Impairments (primate and rat studies) Results are very mixed. There are more studies of monkeys than others. . Delayed alternation (animals in maze goes one way and another, another way). . Delayed matching to sample. (visual stimulus). . Spatial and non-spatial reversal learning. Reversal learning is a measure of cognitive flexibility. Simply put, the basic idea is that simple learning is not impaired but when it becomes more complicated there seems to be impairment. Human Behavioral Studies . umbilical at fetus and teeth in children for lead exposure . Prospective studies - mixed results on IQ measures . School achievement - Some evidence for delays and lower achievement in children with moderate exposure to lead.