A tribute to Carlo

My cousin died yesterday at 0100 am. He was one of my favourites. When I was in Europe, and I went to visit my family, they always welcomed me warmly. When they came to visit Canada, my cousin would remind me cheerfully, that it was he who was my blood relative and not his wife, who is now alone in grief. If there was an ideal marriage, aside from my own parents, it was them. They had romantic love which is very difficult to maintain, they had mutual respect and they had a bond that fastened each other. I love them both equally. "He has gone to heaven, she wrote." Just a few nights ago, I was watching a program, that I had taped. Scholars from various universities were reporting God as fiction and wishful thinking. I thought it was interesting because normally more than one perspective is provided. The more I live life, the more I learn, the more I realize how little I do know. There is just so much to know and learn and that is why I consider myself a life long student. I can never cease to learn. There is so much contradiction out there, that it is difficult to know what is truth. What is true one day is disproved on another. Even experiments, cannot prove but only disprove. What is fact? What is fiction? What is fantasy? What is wishful thinking? We used to believe that the world is flat? We used to deny evolution? We are constantly evolving, though repeating mistakes. There are definitely good people out there and there are those who commit such horrible crimes, that one must question why? There is always a truth. But, how does one find it? When I look out at nature in my backyard. When I see the birds and squirrels feeling safe in the nature I cultivate for them, I am quite aware that others are ridding themselves of anything natural. When I look up at the stars and moon, I am aware that I cannot see what is really there. I am aware that my planet is moving along in a galaxy, that my human eyes cannot see. I do not feel myself moving. I do not see. I sometimes imagine what it must be like to watch our planet from space. We know that there are many planets, moons, stars, galaxies etc....We know because we are a curious people who thrive for truth. We have science and we have technology. Is there a God? Is there an afterlife? Am I delusional because I believe there is something more? I was watching a Nova series, one was about utilizing nature to improve our industry. They were duplicating the movements of specific animals to enhance what is available today. They were also altering DNA of a specific part of a fish to have it function as a battery. We as a people are always growing, tampering and experimenting. Yet when it comes to believing in God, it is wishful thinking. Why is it that some people believe in a God and others don't? One scholar in another session I was watching, said that he believes it is in our DNA. Has anything ever happened to you that you do not understand? Have you ever felt someone near and no one was there? Have you felt someone close to you when that person has died? Is it all psychological? Is there the possibility of something more? Is it only faith? And who are the fraudsters and fortune tellers explaining all this and taking money from those suffering? There is always an opportunist. I have had a great and interesting life. I have people in my life that I would not trade for all the money in the world. I have been provided with one gift after another. I was sad and and stunned to hear about the non-expectant death of my cousin. I was more sad for his wife, who will grieve a life time. I know that my cousin is not suffering anymore, nor scared anymore. I appreciate every moment, I have on this earth. There is a phrase that says only taxes and death is a sure thing. I don't know about taxes, as I understand there is an island or two where that is not a problem, but I know that we cannot escape death, as we know it. I remember being horrified when I realized that people die. I am not horrified anymore. It is a process. I think of death as a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. We all have a belief system and part of that is a selection of what to believe. I had one professor in a psychology class who said you can prove there is a God. He suddenly began a class saying that the solar system is not as perfect as we think. He said if you threw something in its' path, it would cause chaos. I wondered at the time, why he would introduce that in class? What was he thinking about, that made him say that in a motivational psychology class? I think that we all have different lives. Some of us are fortunate to have a lot of love in our lives which began in infancy, others naught. Some of us were raised in a particular religious background that was nurturing or was the opposite for others. Some of us had the opportunity to grow intellectually, spiritually etc....Some of us were stunted by life. Some of us reached out and felt a hand pulling us out of an abys. Why not take the time this weekend to write down what you believe in. Then write down below each belief why you believe? Is it rational? Is it spiritual? Is it right in your opinion? Is it wrong in your opinion? How do you search for truth? How do you search for the possibility of a God? Is your God terrifying and cruel? Is your God loving and warm. This is a challenging year. Someone very close to me said that she cannot wait til the year is over, because there has been so much loss. But, I do not share that view because I think of years as merely strings that ultimately comes to an end at any time. I enjoy each day and breathe in the air that allows me to live. I enjoy each morsel of food that I eat. I enjoy each flower I can inhale. What is it that you enjoy. What do you think? Bye Carlo. You gave so much love to others. You had such a beautiful and infectious laugh. You were a beautiful charmer with so much to give and you gave it. You had such a sense of humour. I am sorry that in these past three months you had to suffer so. Now, please watch over us, as the angel that you are.