Yesterday I went to mass at a Senior Home where I would be attending a Christmas party. The priest spoke of another senior home where he had a mass. I really like this priest. He is so good with the seniors. He was sent to Rome a few years back for a course in his work with seniors and I would have loved to have taken that course, because he is such a gentle heart. The people love him and it is easy to see why. He knows everyone by name (which has never been my strongest suit) and he makes each individual feel as special as he and she should feel.
Yesterday as he remarked about this other senior home, a sadness began to mar his face as he spoke about some senior homes only having a mass service once a month for their residents. This for a Roman Catholic is unacceptable. He spoke about how religion is not adequately provided for those who want it and how it will, in his opinion be reduced further in the future. The provision of religious services may disappear in the future he predicted. These were not his words. This was my interpretation. “Perhaps I do too much here,” he spoke out. He provides mass for these elderly people each day. They responded in unison, that it cannot ever be too much. This is true because whenever I visit this home and there is a service, it always appears more attended than my own neighourhood parish.
At the end of the mass, I approached this sweet priest who so cares for his people. I told him that I related with his sermon. I proceeded to tell him how with all the organizations I belong to, one wanted nothing to do with any course I have taken that has anything to do with any spirituality or faith sounds to it. It disqualified any such course. I have so many courses that it did not affect me. Slow me down a bit, perhaps but not seriously affect me. These courses which were so casually dismissed were taught by an experienced psychologist who happens to be a priest and a Jesuit. The people who dismissed these courses so casually neither have the education, experience nor wisdom of this delightful man (who hates my book. He did not tell me this of course but I was informed by one of his confidents).
As I rushed my words out to the delightful priest he respond, “More contemplation and less medication.” Those words really had an impact on me and I realized that I have not been contemplating enough myself. As I completed my formal studies, I became caught up in life. Starting a practice is a full time job, one that our studies do not prepare us for. We have to become concerned with the business side of things. My mother once said that I make money from the sufferings of others. I quickly responded that physicians make money at the suffering of others. She agreed. “Besides,” I continued unnecessarily, “I do not make that much money at all.” I obviously spent more money on my studies, professional development, seminars, insurance, etc…than what I am paid. “If I did not have income from other sources I would not be able to do what I do,” I argued. She did not say anything further. The point was already made that I needed to survive too. “How is your book coming along?” She asked. “Have you stopped writing?” “No.” I responded. I told her I was still at 171 pages and expected to write a couple of more hundreds but I stopped for a bit, because of life again. It appears I need to upgrade all my electrical in my home. Even though an old house has lots of charm and is solid it needs to be upgraded. And electricians want to be paid like physicians without the education to match. I could have saved so much money going into that field and be making a small fortune now.
But let me return to what I was saying before I was curtailed by life – seniors – religion.
Are religious services disappearing for seniors? Is religion disappearing? Here it is Christmas Eve. I have had two days of parties and I am tired already. I returned home yesterday to watch some Christmas shows that were not too Christmassy at all. I tape everything and then watch what I want when I have the time. I deleted most of what I had taped. I watched a rerun of Home Alone, part 2 and five I believe. Five is never as good as one and did not come close to two - disappointed once again with all the different actors and without the same punch. I suppose I wanted to hear some Christmas music like Silent Night and the only thing that came close was some rock version. I didn’t even bother taping any of the Canadian Christmas shows. The one I watched last year was from a Canadian talent whose satire about Christmas with sexual overtures was so disappointing that I feared watching anything else.
Merry Christmas is a greeting which is said with some reserve these days. Clerks at stores tell me that they are not allowed to say it. They have to say, “Happy Holidays.” I have to add Merry Christmas to my cards now. At one party I went to, a man told me that this year his institution is not having any party associated with Christmas and that ironically it was a Jewish person who complained about that. I did not find that ironic at all. The high school I went to had many Jewish students and I never heard a complaint about Christmas celebrations. It took one college student to complain about angels on a tree to have every angel removed from the trees. Whenever, I see an angel on a tree, I celebrate. What is it that has made Christmas a negative connotation? A lawyer last year in Toronto or was it the year before, had a Christmas tree removed from the lobby. A politician with more sense over ruled her. The Nativity set at old city hall has once again this year been vandalized. A business man at his own expense installed some sort of glass enclosure that he assured cannot be broken. Where is Jesus in Christmas? The only time I have felt this is when I went to a communist country. Is it not in Communist countries where religion is considered a negative? What does this mean?
I do not think that religion should be shoved down anyone’s throat. But where is the respect for those who are elderly and have a religion not to be able to practice it? Where are we moving to? Are we moving ahead or backwards? I understand that religion can have a negative connotation for some. With self professed preachers burning bibles of another religion to instigate them is not very holy. For people to profess to love God while looking down at those less fortunate, to kill, to rape, to abuse all in the name of God is not what religion is about. Christmas should be a time of peace, of joy, of giving and of love.
At this senior home where I was yesterday, this priest who had brought birds to the home had to remove them. Elderly people used to sit and watch these birds for hours. Yet some family members thought them disgusting and so they were removed. I got this from reception, or words to that effect.
It was an American man who was looking for a senior home for his mother but could not find anything appropriate for her, who introduced a new concept. This was brought to Canada. In my undergrad all my courses were in psychology or related to health (except if I felt the need to give my brain a rest. Then I would take an English or creative course). Since nurses had five years to get a degree I had many in my classes. We learned from each other as well. There was always so much experience in the room. Animals were found to enhance the well being for seniors. Seniors having responsibility such as watering plants also improved. Cats would settle on a bed where an elderly person was dying before anyone knew he was. Once a pet owner died, another would take the responsibility for the feeding. It was found that not only did the Seniors live longer but they were healthier and happier as well. We need to step back and reflect when listening to complaints about what one considers offensive. That American man who wanted something more for his mother knew that a senior home had to be more than an institution. It had to have a real home experience with pets and plants. At that time there was one home in Toronto following that concept according to one of my classmates fortunate enough to experience the benefits it has.
I looked at my mother and told her how wonderful her Christmas party was. I told her that each moment I have with her is a gift. I told her that when I grow old they probably won’t be concerned about how much fibre I have. Being a baby boomer, there will be so many of us that they will try to figure out how to diminish our numbers before we drain the system. But I pause as I contemplate. We have a new generation of youths who give me hope. They seem to be more compassionate and take an active role in helping others. I wonder, maybe they won’t put us all to sleep. Maybe they will not abandon the old. Maybe just maybe, they will permit seniors to enjoy their pets or birds. Maybe, just maybe, they will allow a senior to practice their religion and provide the services for it. Maybe just maybe there is hope that we may once again move forward rather than backwards. Maybe just maybe we may once again know what it means to live in a democratic society once again where it means more than just speaking your mind but living it.
Yes Father, I have been contemplating. Your words touched me. Your parting words of less medication and more contemplation I immediately responded to. Medication is important. There are chemical imbalances that can be controlled with medication. However, people do need identify with the source of their problems which requires exploration and recognition. This should not be denied them. People need to be treated as a whole person.
Today I am off for another celebration. I used to be able to party and party but I have slowed down. Yesterday I was more tired than my elderly mom. She was happy and I was exhausted after a three and a half hour dining experience (with no Christmas music. She noticed).
The night before, I was stopped in the ride program. There were about five policemen (no women?) and one lane was cordoned off. I was stopped of course and I had nowhere to pull over since one lane was closed. There was traffic behind me. He asked me how much I had to drink. “Nothing ?” I said. I wanted to say I had ten drinks but I did not want to be arrested needlessly. Besides I really did not drink anything with alcohol in it. It takes one drink to floor me. So if I drive, I do not normally drink at all. “He reached inside my car his head lowered to smell any possible alcohol. I wanted to ask him, if I had been impaired and therefore should not be driving how I would still have to move my car since traffic was being blocked this way. But this was not the time to have this discussion. He waved me through after much surprise that indeed I did not drink anything at all. It must have been my car.
This year I wish you all a Merry Christmas. May each one of you have a special person you can share Christmas with and if not, remember what Christmas is and that you are never truly left alone. Thank you for reading my blogs.
Every time you hear a bell remember that an angel has got its’ wings – It is a wonder life!
Merry Christmas
Silva
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