American Association of Couples and Family Therapy

      I haven't quite decided if I will be retiring or not and am leaning more on the not at this moment.   I had planned on retiring and focusing on my books/writing which I seem to have so little time for.  But,  there was still a nudge.  I will be attending a full three day conference with AAMFT and I shall be kept very busy.  Of course I shall be sharing anything new with you.  Friday, well it's Hallowe'en and so my focus will be spooky.  Talk next week...Happy Hallowe'en and Go Blue Jays........ 

Cartel Canada | W5's Avery Haines investigates a Canadian meth pipeline

M.A.I.D. (Medical Assistance in Dying)

 

     I have been trying to do catch up with my education hours since I haven't decided if I am going to retire or not.   I have worked for most of my life so this is a tough decision.  I’ll figure it out and if I don’t, I may just keep working.

     My staged house is gone and my own things are back, some broken, some damaged and that will all be discussion for a  topic on another day so you become aware.  The experience of trying to sell a house this time as been an eye opener.  

 

    What I want to talk about today is a webinar I attended last week.   I was supposed to get slides which didn’t happen and is quite annoying.   However, it would not be the host’s fault.  I have provided you with information before and so this will be an update.

When Assistant Dying started in Canada, I was horrified and wanted no part of it.  For the first two years of my career  “Do no harm” was my motto.   For years I have dealt with suicidal ideation.  Some began as children.  They didn’t really want to kill themselves and were crying out for help, though the thought was always there.  I began to realize that I am only human, and if it were to happen it would be beyond my control.   I knew that statistically before MAID, when people tried to commit suicide and failed, they felt differently.  They no longer wanted to die.   So, when MAID  was introduced to me at a full day conference at a hospital, I saw division among the entire medical field.  I still remember a woman sitting beside me complaining of a noted physician that she was opposed to MAID.  She asked me what I thought and I told her I agreed with this infamous physician.  She got up in disgust and sat somewhere else as far from me as possible.  Since then, no one has ever asked me to accompany them through this process. Usually people wanting suicide or thinking about it keep it as a secret and the first thing I do is encourage them to tell a parent or trusted friend.  Then with therapy and them finding a support group, they usually feel better about themselves.  However,  after much struggle, I decided that this is not about me, it is about them and their choices.  As therapists, we always have to be aware of our biases so we can work through it for the benefit of the client.  MAID is something I try to keep up with so I was surprised at the update.  I learned that about nine out of ten patients who had wanted MAID changed their minds when they were shown that they were cared for and this became a focus.  Their psycho-spiritual care was taken care of.   This made me think of that article I read, about the Catholic Bronx hospital that  had every patient who wanted MAID change their minds because they were taken care of with compassion.  You should find that somewhere in my blogs.  That stuck with me, because even  COMA patients felt they were cared for by nurses who talked to them. They were able to talk about his when they came out of their coma. You should find that here too.  Patients now wanting MAID are asked three times during the final process if they want to go to the next phase, the final one being their death.  Families are not informed if the patient doesn’t want them to be.  What bothered me this time round is that two provinces in Canada are forcing all  Physicians  to perform this procedure even if it is against their religion, or moral compass.  They simply do not have a choice and what is happening is physicians are leaving their professions as a result.  Canada is now facing what I believe is a health care crises.  We simply don’t have enough physicians which I have spoken to you about before.  So, who is the genius that thought this is a good idea and promoted it?  It would cause moral injury and/or  trauma for a physician who believes in causing no harm to help a client die,  if his/her perception is that this causes harm.  So why is this happening?  The other disturbing thing I learned is that they are working on having children as young as 12 making the decision to end their life, even without their parents approval.   I have heard discussion before from physicians working with children that parents try to prolong their children’s lives, even when they probably shouldn’t and even the children are ready to die more than their parents are to have them go.  My question was how many parents are going to leave the country if this law comes to effect?  What is now happening when patients are provided with  options of their treatment, MAID is included as an option.   This arose because someone decided that if people don’t know about MAID, then this should be included.  Now they wanted to include Mental Health Patients, but this has been delayed because of the uproar among Mental Health Providers.  Note, I say delayed and not stopped.  As they work on all this, the public is not notified ( I wonder why).  I have to admit that the morning after this webinar,  I had tears welling up as I thought about all this that I have written here.  How far are we going to go?  Why don’t we provide people with compassionate care?  The research is there, why not act on it?  If you remember in an earlier blog I wrote about American Insurance companies covering MAID, but not all the treatments the patient requires.  Money!!   

Busy-----------------------

 I haven't forgotten you.  It has simply been too busy.  I attended a webinar about M.A.I.D (Asssistant Dying).  I shall bring you up with that.  I attended another meeting and just finished now.  I am de-staging my house.  I am having car troubles and need to get that done.  If I still have any energy I shall attend another webinar about our court/prison system.  It is of interest because of who the speaker is.  Retired from teaching law school.  Anyhow,  Thanksgiving got delayed so I am trying to give that priority as well.  So, you see, this is why.....Please be patient because I have lots to tell you.....Yes there is more.  Have a good week.

I have been reading a lot - Here goes and one meeting - sick too

Well,  I got sick.  That's what happens when you shake hands with the devil.  Actually, I shaked more hands.  Normally, I use sanitizer afterwards but I couldn't make it obvious so I didn't.  Doesn't look good when someone wants to shake your hand and you pull out a sanitizer afterwards.  Remember Monk?  It started with a sore throat and then congestion but I really let myself slow down because I wanted to heal quickly and now I am 95% good.  Only, my family is now sick but we are all celebrating Thanksgiving together so that should be good.  It appears they have the flu, but getting together has been awhile and so it appears I shall risk it.  Since it was beautiful out for the week I was ill, I accomplished reading a lot.  I completed reading  "Eruption"  written by James Patterson and Michael Chrichton (creator of Jurassic Park).  He died but was planning to write this book so his wife seeked James Patterson's help.  She had all of her husband's notes.  A nice tribute to him.  That is why I wanted to read the book.  The setting is in Hawaii and if you like Volcanic eruptions, this may be the book for you.   I also wanted to read the books from "Word on the Street."  First, I read, "Light From Darkness" by Matthieu Bonin.  He gave me the book when I was talking to him at the end of the last day.  I will use his words at the back of the book, "This is a story about darkness and light, suffering and joy..."As a therapist I do at times recommend that people write their story as part of their their therapy.  The option is always there.  The author has the uncanny ability to fully describe the depth of darkness and dispair he can feel.  Normally, it takes time to build to this.  Some have difficulty describing the emotional hell they experience.  I also recommend that clients journal and they bring it to the therapy session if triggers exist.  What I also see when people write their stories is that they remember good things that happened in their lives or/ and good people all of which was forgotten due to the overwhelming sadness.  Next is a booklet, written by Thanh Dinh, "Salt & Ashes."  I met Thanh and her daughter gave me the book, indicating that her mom wanted me to have it.  It didn't take long to read and I was wondering how to describe it, when poetic suffering came to mind.  I found her family to be delightful at Word On The Street and wish them all well.  The last book which I haven't completed is, "Hate Story" by Jeff Cottrill.  We shared a table during our second day and he wanted to trade a book so I gave him, "The Internet Murders."  I am enjoying the book and have read 83 pages.  It begins with a riot at a funeral where a man who has died is hated and the target of what I would call mass hysteria on the internet.  That would never happen, right?  Anyhow, a small time reporter also working at a call centre, which she hates but has to pay the bills is assigned to find out why this man was so hated and so the mystery begins.  I love the satire and mystery and didn't think I would like the book as much as I do.  So, that is where I am at.  I will talk about the meeting another time which will only be a tidbit.  That's all for now.  

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Word On The Street - Conclusion

 

     I greeted my fellow Authors.  One came to look at my books and said she loved bios so she bought, "For Love of Country - Military Policewoman".   She did really well selling her books - galore.  People were buying her books about how to write ……..

     The first person who is not an Author who came to my table was wearing a blue jay cap.  So, unable to keep my mouth shut, I said, “blue jay.”  He said I was going to see many of them today and then I was stumped.  I don’t watch sports.  I am clue less.  When a good friend of mine kept bugging me to see a game at the then called Sky Dome, I kept declining until I agreed that if he couldn’t find anyone to go with, I would, as long as he was oky with me wearing ear defenders (for shooting) and bringing a book to read.  He found someone else to go with.  So, all I know about sports is what I see on the news when I am not fast forwarding that part.  I know they are on a winning streak but sometimes they don’t.  So, I just ignored what he said and tried to disappear, but he did that for me.  He was tall, definitely in shape but had sustained an injury.  He also had red hair.  Not too long after I saw a group of men with baseball (?)uniforms , Americans, huddled, talking.  I noticed they were smaller than my blue jay and a bit pudgy and wondered if that is why our team was on a winning streak.  I recognized one of the names on the news that night when they were talking sports.  Yup, Americans, I was right.  Easy since I can still recognize uniforms as couples wear them, babies wear them and itsy bitsy children wear them so it is no big deal for me to just assume everyone is a fan and not a player.

I didn’t do very well on my first day but did sell a copy of "Hey Guy Buy Me".  It is still my most popular book.  Go figure.  

Then I saw the devil.  He was dancing with a woman and then they stopped dancing and he came to me to shake my hand.  I complied.  He then proceeded to another table not that far from me and war started.  There was shouting and things flying and I could see that things were going to go very bad, very fast, so I got up and went to speak to the writer.  No, that didn’t work so I asked the devil to come with me and brought him back to my table.  I offered him a copy of Hey Guy Buy Me which he didn’t want.  He was very upset that the writer had called him the devil and to get away from him.  Sometimes, you have to see the man within the mask of the devil.  I suggested that he had probably scared the man or he thought he really was the devil.  I mean he looked like the real thing that you see in well produced movies, or not.  He had some sort of realistic face shield  with horns and a tail and red blood all over him including the hand I shook.  This is not what you want to see in a dark lane and really not even on a bright sunny day as we had.  He told me it was Hallowe’en (see what happens when everyone sells stuff for Hallowe’en before the date?).  All he wanted was to make friends with someone.  I felt bad for him and have since asked about community services for people to meet other people and make friends.  Someone promised to look into that and provide me with a list.  Older men are at the top of the list to commit suicide and we need to start working on something to discourage that.  Friendship is important and loneliness is something many people suffer from.  Find a way to have them unite, get to know each other and become friends.  Not everyone has family and not all families are supportive.  We need to help within our communities.  Anyhow, I told him to just ignore the writer and to walk along a certain path and be the bigger person.   He complied ignoring further jabs from the writer who began fighting with an author who had also tried to get him to stop.  I was fortunate that he didn’t feel angry at me.  The fun was not over.  Two policemen came with a few members of Word on the Street and the writer was asked to leave.  Well, after some loud complaining and wanting a refund,  he yelled out at the policemen that he knew that they wanted to shoot him and to kill him and then challenged them to do so.  The policemen looked bored as if they have to do this every two hours.  Of course people would come to my table and disappear once they heard the man shouting,  “Kill Me!”  I was impressed how everything was dealt with very quickly and all traces of any incident disappeared.  Table gone……space cleaned……… A magic wand.  By now I really could use a coffee.  So, I asked a volunteer how there can be no coffee at this event.  This is what I was told, but don’t quote me.  Tim Hortons did not want to sponsor the event, so they couldn’t get a spot.  It made me wonder how much money do they have to donate.  Tim Hortons is no longer Canadian so is that why?  Are they mad at us?  People still drink Tim Hortons.  I see them everywhere.  Then one of the Authors reminded me that Star bucks is shutting down stores in Canada.  “100”  I responded.  I love Starbucks.  I know I will still find them in Toronto because they are everywhere, but what about Niagara Falls?  Am I going to Niagara Falls?  Who knows.  I am taking my house off the Market in what 21 days?  Is this a hint from Toronto that I won’t be going anywhere?  

The day ended before I realized it.  It went so fast.  I didn’t sell much but people loved to come and talk.  They were all from Toronto.  Come on Americans, “Where are you?”  I didn’t see the regular visitors and none of my three fans.  I decided I was going to have a huge cup of coffee when I got home.  But, now going home was not going to be easy.  First of all I parked at Roy Thompson Hall because when I tried to park below the square, I scanned the entrance payment thing of a jig and what do I get?  Those casino games where you pay and lose all your money without going to the casino.  When I finally got out I had to wait because there was grid lock.  A fire truck was trying to travel East and was just sitting there siren and lights screaming and people just waiting stationary in their vehicles.  After about five minutes there was some movement and I managed to come out of the lot.  I know there is a lot of congestion in the city but I didn’t think about how this impacts the survival of others, needing emergency response.  It took me forever and as soon as I could travel North, I did.   I passed Hooters (I didn’t even know we still had any in Toronto) and saw our American players inside.  They certainly were not reading any books.  It took me forever to get home…….over an hour easy.  Traffic was everywhere.  I think we need to trade our cars in for golf carts.  Would that help?  They keep decreasing the speed limit so that may just be an option.  We can winterize the carts.  It would be very affordable.  I got home, took a bath and forget coffee.  I woke up once during the night with a headache from caffeine withdrawal.

     I awoke the next morning  feeling fresh and bushy tailed.  I was ready.   I made a big peanut butter and jam sandwich.   I drank two coffees with a heated scone and I filled  a huge cup of coffee with a mug I got for Christmas.  I have two which keeps coffee hot all day.  I got into my car and drove there in no time.  I parked under the square, ignoring the scanner.  I parked right next to the elevator which took me directly to the square where my table was nearby.  I stopped first at an eatery asking them if they have vegetarian meals.  She assured me they did and that would be my final trip of the day (to go).  The nice lady remembered me and not only did she give me a discount, she gave me two days of Indian food.   I sold more books during my second day but nothing like, "Hate Story" by Jeff Cottrill.  There is me offering him suggestions when I saw his pink overused blanket holding his books.  I felt sorry for him but not for long as everyone seemed to buy his book.  It is about a fight or riot that breaks out at funeral.  All he was saying was, “Do you like mystery and satire?”  They would stop, all genders, and buy the book.  I kept looking at him and trying to figure out how he was accomplishing that.  I decided I have to use the word “hate” in my caption of a book which he discouraged saying that Bookstores don’t like that word.  He told me that people really like his pink blanket.  I looked at another Author who was doing well and he used black garbage bags as a base.  Jeff wanted to trade a book for his and The Internet Murders cost the same so we traded.  Jeff is very likeable.  He told me about a few places in Hamilton and was it Ottawa or Montreal where I should go to sell my books.   I have it written somewhere.  I am presently surrounded by my books as I wish to write my blog first.  Matthieu Bonin, another Author gave me a copy of his work called Light From Darkness.  He had tried to talk to the writer when the Devil came around and I wanted to check on him to make sure he was ok.  I am looking forward to reading his book as well.   As I was leaving I saw a woman reading his book on a bench.  Thanh Dinh also gave me a lovely book marker and a booklet named Salt and Ashes.  She was selling books with her family and they are all very nice.  She had balloons and when one popped everyone got scared so I mentioned it to her that people in Toronto get edgy sometimes because of all the people shooting guns, they don’t know how to shoot.  I had a young child come to me to look at my books again and I felt horrible.  I gave her a book marker and pen and told her to come back when she is 16.  I have to write a kid’s book because I don’t like to see them so disappointed.   How hard can it be?  I’ll find out.   I also learned from one of the Author’s that a young woman was charging people whatever they could afford to pay and she would write them a poem using a typewriter.  Another told me about someone selling plots?  “How can they write a book, if they can’t write a plot?”  When I thought about it later, it is pretty creative of how to think up ways for young people to make money.  It was a great day and I met and talked to so many people.  I have to still table how many books I sold etc…and should finish off tomorrow.  I have to finish off what I am presently reading and then I shall read the other books and let you know about them.  The other highlights?  I got chocolate dipped ice cream all over my pants and top.  A woman who said she teaches English at York University wanted to take a picture for her Instagram and then I found myself live on video answering her question of what The Internet Murders is all about.  I was taken completely off guard and felt like a babbling idiot.  I couldn’t sell her a book because she didn’t have cash and I didn’t have a tap machine.  I need to get that figured out because I do lose too much money.  Jeff Cottrill was so nice to me that  he would eventually let people  use his stripe and he would pay me. I had a man come to my table to tell me he was a blogger, “me too,” I replied and then he disappeared.   I had another wanting me on her pod casting channel.  I declined telling her I am low profile.  Another Author I met previously came to say hello and he was with his Influencer he wanted to hire.   Facebook, etc……(and you charge for that?) All in all, it was a great weekend with very many interesting costumes, and people.  I do love my City and all it offers.  Now, I have to slow down again and recharge.  I am really looking forward of taking my house off the market so I can have my home back.   You have three weeks to buy or I stay in Toronto.  Good talk.

Later.