Festival of Authors - (Toronto Harbourfront) Come and meet me and buy Ominous for $25.00 - Bring cash (receipts provided of course)

Next Saturday, not tomorrow, I will be down at the Waterfront with the Crime Writers of Canada from 11:00 to 7pm selling my books. I am going to bring all four of my books but two are about crime so I hope it is ok. I will be selling "Hey Guy Buy Me" for $5.00; "For Love of Country Military Police Woman" $19.95; "The Internet Murders" for 14.95 and of course "Ominous", my new release, for $24.95. I will provide you with a reminder next week. I do believe there is an entrance fee for this one. I have been so busy this year that I haven't had time to write my next book though there is a preview for you. If I ever get organized, I will be able to start. Mr Attitude swatted the St Bernard next door yesterday and he looked like he was going to attack the alarm man this morning.....I may have to put him in jail. Naw!!!!!At 21 years of age he is becoming less scared and more territorial. I have created a monster. When I was dancing he debated jumping on me but I realized in time. That would have been a knock out for me. He loves it when I pick him up to dance. Since I wasn't doing that, he almost didn't give me a choice. I therefore picked up the little guy and we danced. I love the little guy but boy what Attitude! Good talk. Have a good weekend. Come and say hello next week. If we are friends or related, I take my coffee small and black........ You may always purchase a book from me directly or on my web site. www.silvaredigonda.ca If you have a book store, reading club etc..... in Toronto or area, I am available for any meet and greet.

We need to protect the Jews. Never again……….

I have been trying very hard not to talk about this topic, but by not talking we may become complicit. Due to the rise in anti-semitism in Toronto, which I find shameful, I need to speak and to speak loudly. Never again! What prompted me? I was reading an article which is not up to me to share but I will quote this, “I never heard an Anti-Semitic slur ——-in 43 years.” It broke my heart. This person said much more about how Jews are now afraid to go to school, in my beautiful city. I know I complain about my town all the time. But it is mine. I want it to be better. I love my town. Aside from my travels and work I have always been here since my parents brought me here when I was one year and a half years old. Yes, I will probably move to Niagara Falls but that has always been the plan though I prefer New York City and/or Disney World. I realize I have worked hard all my life, getting my first pay check when I was 13 years old which taught me independence. I am still working and wonder if I would be able to retire due to the economy. Seniors are now living in the streets. There are struggles never seen before and this has now reached our Jewish community. Where did we go wrong, because this is very wrong. When I was in elementary school, we learned about the killing of six million Jews. We learned about slavery. We learned that this was wrong. When I was a life guard as a teen we learned that “whomever you see in distress, recognize in him a fellow man.” I would go home and I was fortunate that my mother was able to explain further to me the complexities of human nature. Then I joined the Military Police and spent four years in Europe and six months in the Middle East of those 20 years and learned more about the complexities. I returned to school and majored in psychology until I did finally understand how and why, and how to help people heal, which continued into my Masters where I studied under the Jesuits. That was not enough and so I attended the Toronto School of Theology and learned more and more and more. My life has been helping people by providing them with a sense of justice and later by helping them heal. I have helped people of all religions, colour and cultures. I have continued learning by those who have reached out to me for help. My life has been enhanced by my work and love for the people - all people. A Priest friend of mine whom I met and served with in the military told me that he had had been rejected from going to Sunnybrook Veteran Hospital when he developed ALS, because he was not a world war veteran. You see his medals included serving in the Gulf War which was not enough. I cannot forgive that. He said to me, “You know Silva, we learned from the military that we should live with the people.” He did not want to be with his peers, he wanted to be with the people. As I reflect, I have been so fortunate to have been surrounded by such inspiring loving intellectuals - all men. I have been blessed so much. When Hamas attacked and killed, it was the beginning of a war. When I called out Hamas as the Terrorists and not Jews as I was asked, on Facebook, there was a barrage of verbal hatred spewing of the most venomous acts towards me. I know that I was safe here in Canada but it didn’t feel that way. Of course I reported it to Facebook. This was apparently an American who had led me to believe what he wasn’t. I do not accept invites from people I do not know and this is why. If I haven’t actually met you, sorry….not…This is the world we live in today. I knew Israel would retaliate. Hamas knew as well and they hid in hospitals, in tunnels, where children were being the cowards and terrorists they are. But do they have the intellect? Who is pulling the strings? Who is behind all this? Who is at work? Do I like what is happening in the Middle East? Of course not. I deplore war. I detest that so many children and woman and other innocents have died and are suffering. I believe in freedom, but what is happening here in Toronto is not freedom. It is not freedom when Jews do not feel safe going to school. It is not freedom when art work releases smoke of hate. It is not freedom when shots are fired at a Hebrew elementary school. Yesterday, I watched the news and American Lawyers who are Jews have come to Toronto to support our youth. They will be suing schools not doing enough to protect them and I am so glad. It is about time, something is being done and it does not surprise me that it is coming from the States. Again on the news about a week ago, a woman was protesting at Parliament Hill and I was startled when she said she wanted to leave Canada because we support the Jews. She said she had been living here for 25 years. I had to wonder why did she come to Canada? Was it to escape? Was it to have a better life? The reason to leave is because we support the Jews? It pained me to see a physics professor at the University of Toronto upset because as a Jew he was feeling victimized. Hate of any kind has no place here in Toronto. Regardless, of religious beliefs, political beliefs etc….we should all feel safe. That is changing. We are failing, but we still have time. Every student should feel safe at school. There should be no tolerance for any kind of hate. We cannot have staff and professors, TA’s or assistant professors intimidating students. Students need to feel heard regardless of their religion. They need to feel safe, while they are learning. We need some very strong leadership to deal with this mess and it is time for people out there to start voting. Do you want to vote for someone who is kicked out of Parliament like the NDP Jill was in my riding? We need politicians who can protect all people; who represent all people. No Canadian should ever feel that they don’t belong anymore. Get out there and vote! No, politicians are not all the same. Stop complaining and actually do something, even if it is voting. While some politicians are suitable for a board meeting, it involves another class to take a strong leadership role and upgrade the laws which are failing us. People have struggled to be able to vote. What has surprised me is that in all of this mess there has not been the same vigorous outcry to release the hostages. What are you waiting for Hamas? Let’s stop this war and don’t you dare bring it to my home.

(Men’s Conference) What Guy Wouldn’t Want It? Young Male Victimization Experiences With Female-Perpetrated Stranger Sexual Harassment by C.Erentizen and others, Toronto Metropolitan and York Universities, Toronto Canada.

Stranger Harassment: Unwanted attention from a stranger (high percentage of women report regular experiences). This causes a negative impact on mental health and body image. Historically this was men to women. It is happening in the digital age. Public spaces have changed as we move online. Technology - facilitated sexual violence (TFSU). Unsolicited nudes; solicitation; generally aversive to recipients, leads to shame, disgust; anger. Male victims show significant psychological distress. Participants 323, male identified, ages 16 to 23. (M=19.45). Prevalence of female perpetrators harassment in the past year; seven in person items, 5 on line items - open - ended description. Prevalence: one third - none consensual touching; 20% received nude pictures and 10% money in exchange for sex. Three women bothered a male on a bus. He said no, he had a girlfriend and had to get off the bus. It was unwanted and uncomfortable. Aggressive women: She touched me and wouldn’t leave me alone. Aggressive and non consensual touching/assault. Woman kept touching his crotch. “I hated it and didn’t know what to do. She was laughing.” There was a second study of 261 male identified (16-23 of age). Same results. Study Two: Question imposed. How did you change so this doesn’t happen. Avoidance locations: 58%, choose clothing: 50%, unsafe on transit 50%. About 25% had to get off line. Themes: In person 6-19. Sexual abuse and assault, older women, gender role conflict. 15 year old and “woman came and fondled me.” 15 year old and mom’s friend - Kissed and touched him and he didn’t know what to do. "Woman got off the bus and wanted me to go to a different location." "I was nine - cousin's friend - kissed him and touched him and he didn't know what to do. In another case a female went on him for a lap dance which he didn’t want and she called him a pussy. There was a huge experience of being asked for nude pictures on line. Conclusion: There is prevalence among young males. Begins early, is unwanted and has serious impact. Future Directions: - intersectional identifies - Intervention and educational strategies. It is ok to say no to a female. This is not ok. There is more I have to report from the conference. Unfortunately I have to miss it this year because I will be at Word on The Street. I will have to also miss the American Association of Family Therapy Conference because they are having it in person and of course I cannot leave Mr Attitude. Oh well.

Wonderful weekend and a meal at Hogan's Restaurant is the best - Wonderful Weekend .......almost

I don't often critique restaurants but I had the best meal in a year at Hogan's Restaurant. It's located at 12998 Keele Street, King City. L7B 1H8. Just outside Toronto. It is a bit far for me, but well worth the trip if you are in the area. It all melted in my mouth. I had the mushroom, feta salad and the Rissoto/mushroom - mama mia! And for dessert I had Tira Mi Su, which I am probably spelling incorrectly but it's my blog. This was a bridal shower I was invited to and I have been informed to wait til I taste the food at the wedding (at a different location in Aurora). I have to admit I did eat too much and could have taken half home easily but my taste buds said no way hosay - Eat now! All of it. I am still weighted down. We are having a mini heat wave in Toronto. I put on the air conditioner for Mr Attitude since yesterday. The fireworks scared him, it being Victoria Day in Toronto. Of course there were people throwing fireworks at cars and pedestrians downtown. Too bad. I used to really like seeing the fireworks before it became so crowded. Of course the news bashed the police for not doing anything but when they do, they get bashed for doing something. - Can't win. We need professional reporting but corporations are taking over!!!!!! I had a wonderful time at the shower talking to an old neighbour from where I grew up in Toronto. She will be 103 years old in August. She is such a kind soul and still able to take care of herself. She made a comment to me about how things have changed so much. You think? I am glad I am not the only one concerned about changes to my beautiful town. I did have a great weekend which was altered quickly when a good friend of mine came to visit me to tell me she has cancer. You know that feeling when you get bad news and want to cry but don't because it is not about you? I am offering a perpetual mass for her and place my prayers with God to help her through this ordeal. I will ask you to say a prayer for her too if you don't mind. On the light side I watched and agreed with America's choice for the winner of Idol. I shall miss Katy Perry. I am hoping she returns. As for the Voice, I am crossing my fingers for Asher HaVon. His voice is amazing. The arts is so important. We need it. As for Books, I have been reading Stuart Woods, the Stone Barringon series. The first book I read had a bit of sex in it, but the rest is a bit more explicit. I don't use sex in my books. I did look him up on utube and he was a funny guy. Unfortunately he died recently. As for my books, I will be the waterfront with the Crime Writers of Canada 8 Jun 24. I do hope you come and visit me. You may also find my books on my web site. Just type out my name. https://silvaredigonda.ca Talk soon.

The Pathways from Childhood sexual abuse to substance abuse etc….Ohio State University. Speaker UWE Wernerk, NCK. MSc, MSW, LSW (from men’s conference)

In the USA people who deal with addictions are in recovery themselves (this is common in Canada as well). He wants to ensure he has no history of this. In the USA it is easy to be an addictions counsellor (40 hours only education). (I believe we have certificate training as well). Numerous male clients disclosed history of severe childhood sexual abuse (SCA) leading to substance abuse. Thematic Analysis: Anger mediates the relationship. The more anger, more is at risk. Negative cognitions about self will mediate. Alcohol is used to deal with cognitive intrusions. Avoidance behaviours increased odds of drinking. Tendency to dissociate increases odds of alcohol use. PTSD mediates relationship. Not all drink but when one has sexual abuse and PTSD the chances increases. Men use substances to deal with psychological suffering associated with Child sexual abuse. It brings upon more problems. Of his research of 24 people (he described his research) all we know of the culprits was an uncle, and a priest. Sexual Abuse was slow movement. Enjoyed it too which caused (guilt). How do you get pleasure? (In my own practice this is something I always explain. Children are sexual beings as we all are. The sexual predators know that and use it to their advantage. This needs to be explained to those who have been abused. Telling them it is not their fault is not enough.) How do you say such a thing about an uncle? Unfortunately, this year I will have to miss the men's conference because it is being held during the same time that I have booked to be at Word on The Street to sell my books. I also have to miss the American Association of Family Therapy because they are going live and I can't leave Mr Attitude. I love the States and will start venturing again when Mr Attitude is no longer among the living. How old does a cat get? He is 21 with full time attitude unless he is eating/sleeping or sitting on me; near me. Last week I attended the York U webinar that I posted and will check to see if they have the video the I can post here. Last week I also attended "The Application of Somatic Interventions in Clinical Practice; Attachment, Trauma, Neurobiology, and the Body. That provided me with 5 hours of continuing education hours. It was presented by Kathy Steele, MN, CS, APRN. It was meant for therapists and we were asked not to share. I already use some of the techniques but not as intensely as in the lecture, but I may begin to use more in my practice. Refresher is always good. Bye for now.

A Day at Niagara is Refreshing

We started early and arrived in Niagara's St David's Chocolate Factory. They make their own and it is tasty. I spoke to a tour guide who caters to small parties attempting to convince me to move there. However, I shared my dream of waking up and having a walk along the falls each morning. Next we went for a pairing which I have shared a photo with you at Niagara On the Lake's Chateau Des Charmes www.chateaudescarmes.com I loved the cheese and bought both displayed. I enjoyed the first glass of wine you see and so bought a bottle of that as well as another small bottle, a 2016 unoaked Chardonnay. The chocolate is made by a local woman who designs beautifully and provides them with all the chocolate they need. Our Host was a charming retired CEO Executive who lives in Old Town and works there to meet and interact with people. He provided us with a history of the manor. It was very elegant and I loved it. Next we went to the Mandarin for lunch. As you know I like the Mandarin and hadn't returned since my old professor died. We had spent endless hours of discussions and debates without needing an encampment. I am glad he doesn't have to see what is going on at the University of Toronto now. Next we went to the Casino where I wasted the 35.00 they provided and then went to soak my eyes of my beloved Falls. One of the people I was with mentioned how relaxing it was to leave Toronto. Another who had lived in Niagara misses it and wants to return. Me- well you know I plan to move there when Mr Attitude decides to go to heaven. Anyhow, Niagara Falls, I love you and I am looking forward to moving there eventually. Back to the city. Last night they cut some poor soul's throat and of course he died. Friday night before heading off to Niagara I woke up to the sounds of gunshots. I counted 10. Apparently they were shooting cars on Westmount. They also killed a woman on my street, closer to Eglinton. Yup, as one woman said, it is a different environment at Niagara and I for one, want more of that!

Social-media break has huge impact on young women’s body image: York U study April 30, 2024 - I attended the Scholar's Hub.

Psychology prof says online exposure to idealized images creates ‘infinite’ opportunities for comparison TORONTO, May 01, 2024 – There’s a large and growing body of evidence pointing to potentially negative impacts of social media on mental health, from its addictive nature to disruptions in sleep patterns to effects on body image. Now, a new study coming out of York University’s Faculty of Health found young women who took a social media break for as little as one week had a significant boost in self-esteem and body image – particularly those most vulnerable to thin-ideal internalization. Headshot of Professor Jennifer Mills Professor Jennifer Mills “The statistician inside me was excited – we don't often see effect sizes this large in my area of psychology research because human behaviour is complicated and there's lots of variability,” says Psychology Professor Jennifer Mills, co-author of the paper. “We hope this study can be used to help protect young people and influence social media companies to give users more agency in how they interact with these platforms.” The paper, out this week in the journal Body Image, is thought to be the first to look specifically at social-media breaks and body image. Mills, whose lab has been on the forefront of this kind of research, collaborated on the paper with graduate researcher Lindsay Samson and undergraduate Olivia Smith, both students at York. They expected that there might be recruitment challenges, but it turns out there was enthusiasm for taking a social media pause among the 66 first-year female undergraduates who participated. Half were instructed to continue their social media as per usual, while the other half were given instructions to refrain from Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok and other social media use for one week. They conducted baseline surveys before the experiment, and tested the participants again after the week was over. “There's natural variability in how people feel about their bodies and about themselves in general, so we took that into account statistically, and even after that there were still significant differences between the groups after one week,” says Mills, who is also the director of clinical training for the graduate psychology program. The differences in the social media landscape are remarkable compared to when Mills started researching eating disorders and the effects of media, like magazines aimed at women. “Back then, you could only spend so many minutes or hours looking at fashion and beauty magazines and they only came out once a month. There was a finite amount of content that you would be exposed to. With social media it's infinite. It's always new and novel, which triggers our brain's reward system that makes us want more and more of something.” Mills says the improvements found in this study might be explained both by women spending far less time engaging in behaviours known to have a detrimental effect, such as comparisons with others, but they may have also replaced social media with healthier behaviours. “If we're spending more time in real life, socializing with friends, getting sleep, getting outdoors, getting exercise, there could be secondary behaviours that fill the void left by social media. Future research will try to disentangle that.” There is a video that was sent via facebook but I can't seem to post it and it won't be available on utube yet. I have it on Facebook so feel free to see it there. Friday I shall be attending a full day workshop regarding "Appliction of Somatic Interventions in Clinical Practice: Attachment, Trauma, Neurobiology and the body. I shall let you know if anything can apply to you for general interest.

Amazon Mexico is selling Hey Guy Buy Me without my authority

I was selling my books on Amazon but due to problems, I have stopped which didn't until I actually spoke to a representative from Canada Amazon and the USA. I found the USA more helpful. No one claimed responsibilty for Mexico. USA tried to communicate with them. I should let you know that when I first published Hey Guy Buy Me, I shipped about 100 books to Amazon. When I decided not to sell on Amazon any longer, I requested my books back. I was asked if I would offer them to charity. I refused. Then they mysteriously vanished. I took the loss. However, now Mexico is selling Hey Guy Buy Me and of course they offer no English dialogue for me to argue. They are also charging me $43.40 a month. So I have cancelled any further payment with Amazon, period. Certainly do not ever pay $100.00 for a $9.95 book. If you ever have doubts of any of my books or ebooks out there, don't hesitate to contact me. At the moment, I am selling my books, myself, through my own website. Unless, I receive royalties, this will continue. Good talk.

Holocaust Remembrance Day - Memories from my book - For Love of Country Military Policewoman www.silvaredigonda.ca

During one break I went to visit a concentration camp in France. The countryside was beautiful and wooden buildings neatly marked the rows of the hills. Everything was so manicured. I went into the buildings, saw the ovens, saw the showers where the people were killed and the contrast of the beauty of nature and the cruelty of humanity was too much to bear. In one of the buildings, after looking at the shrunken heads and souvenirs from the torture of Jews, tears flowed down my cheeks. I did not cry, but the tears kept coming, and I leaned against the wall horrified at what I was seeing. I would visit one more concentration camp in Germany, Dachau. I remember looking at a black and white photograph of a young beautiful man, a Jew, hanging dead by a rope. They had drained his body of oxygen. I stared at that beautiful face that death could not tarnish, and felt sadness for this man. He would have been so easy to love. I explored the grounds. I saw where people were tortured, where they slept, and the black and white pictures depicted their emaciated bodies. There was hopelessness on their faces. I stopped at a wall which still had blood stains from the people who had been shot against it. Another building had a shrine in honour of two women British Officers who had died bravely in the concentration camp. Why had I never heard about the women who served and died as soldiers? I did not cry or tear up this time. I had hardened, I suppose, during the time of my tour. One thing I was sure of: although I knew that I could kill, I would never, under any circumstances, torture. I was in the military because I believed in peace, because I believed that people and countries need to be protected by those who could do this. Anyone who had anything to do with this should pay the price with their own lives or spend the rest of their days in jail no matter how long it would take to track them. Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman. www.silvaredigonda.ca

I got sick. Don't worry, I shall live.

It was bound to happen. I have interacted with so many people and attended so many functions, that oops, my body said that is enough and so I have shut down. I am stuffed but thankfully no fever. I didn't quit in my dreams though. I had a dream that I was having so much fun. Good thing my body didn't have to go through it. I was flying all over the place in the country. It was the wind propelling some gadget I was wearing which actually doesn't exist. Initially, when I tried flying, I purposely started from a dangerous path, I had to fly or sink in some quick moving cold stream and the other side was forest. That surely motivated me to soar. Once I got the hang of it, I had lots of fun, flying around all over the place, coming down for a while to socialize along a row of meeting places and then off I went and returned, having a great time. I wasn't the only one flying, so we had to be careful not to get too close to each other. I am not going to anaylize this, just enjoying it. Saturday I did go and sell my books at the Legion and I had lots of fun and enjoyed some conversations as I was selling my books. I am glad to see that people still enjoy buying Hey Guy Buy Me and when one woman bought one, a male told her that it was a book for men. She pointed humbly to her husband. I love it. I also had to tell children that I could not sell them my books and one 13 year old, the eldest of her group which the younger ones insisted she was old enought - wasn't. It did have me think though. Do I really have to write a kid's book so I don't have to consistently get them mad or sad? Another approached me about being bullied in school and so she now studies school on line. She said that teachers, knew and did nothing, and that really get's me mad. Yes, I can get mad. See me in the morning without my coffee. If you check out my face book, you will see a photo of me in the morning. I am in the shape of a doggie. I do not accept "friends", unless I actually know the person, but most of my pages are shared to the public. I do this mainly for security reasons. I had no idea when I went on facebook, that I would connect with so many people I have worked with in the past or friends I have had since childhood. My next appearance will be with the Writer's of Canada at the Motive Mystery and Crime Festival 2024, at the Toronto's Harbourfront Centre, from 1100 to 7pm, Saturday 8 Jun 24. Hopefully I will see you there. Come and say hello if you are in Toronto or want to come to Toronto. Word on the Street has moved to Queens Park, but I have always loved being on the waterfront. Anyhow, I know I have much more to share about the Men's Conference so please be patient if that is your interest. NOw I have to do some more resting but I would rather be flying. What do you think?