Suicide - Please don't - and stay away from anyone who promotes it

One night this week I heard on the news that every minute 8 men commit suicide world wide. Then the other night again on the news I heard that 50,000 people in the United States committed suicide last year. So that hasn't been removed by my thoughts as I enjoy this beautiful Christmas season. So, I want to talk about it for a bit today. I have a video of PTSD, but I will upload that next week. I took a look at what the stats are for Canada and WHO (World Health Organization). Stats for Canada- suicides are about 4,500 in Canada per year. This amounts to 12 people dying by suicide each day. WHO reports 700,000 world wide suicides a year. The Stats for Americans was approximately 50,000 this year. Just the numbers alone are startling. All these people killing themselves and what are we doing about it? I want to write to our Premiere and ask that OHIP includes mental health and not only physical care. There is money provided to organizations for mental health and charity organizations out there, but we need more. We need to ensure that anyone needing mental health care is covered for it. This should be world wide. There should be support groups initiated specific to this group as there is for AA. And no organization in my opinion who is provided for funding should have MAID on their platform. I believe the objective is to save a life and not take it. There are good insurance plans out there and employers seem to be providing more benefits for this. However, there are so many people who do not have the luxury of insurance and they need help too. I think we fail as a society if we close our eyes. Look at all these lives - gone. Their hope - gone. One of the first things I do if I have a client who is suffering from suicidal thoughts is suggest they share their thoughts not only in the therapy room, journaling et...but with family and those close to them. I also always recommend a full phyisical and psychiatric assessment. Medication can help, sharing can help, learning ways to cope can help and I also try to determine when this started and why? Right now with the internet there are all kinds of people out there who are preying on people. I think it was just this week, that a 12 year old boy killed himself. Someone out there on the internet, told him to pay or otherwise he would release sexual photos of him. Please if there is anyone who is reading this that is being preyed upon right now - go to the police and if you are a minor, please share this with your parents. Talk to them. Don't let some creep steal your life. They are counting on getting away with it because they have you suffer shame. You have nothing to be ashamed of, the creeps do and this extends to pedophiles. Don't give them money because they will ask you for money again and again. Then there are those who who encourage you to kill yourself. We have one guy in jail because he was the cause of so many deaths. He used to be a cook of all things. I know he targeted Canadians, Americans and Brits who are now dead, so he can make a buck. Does he feel responsible? I doubt it. So remember, talk about it.....talk and talk.....If you are at the point where you do want to commit suicide, go to an emergency hospital. Seek professional help. Seek a support group. Practice mindfulness. Work out the problems in your life with support. Nothing is worth your life. Perhaps it is time to make changes. If you are a child please talk to your parents. If you cannot talk to them, talk to a teacher, religious leader, or counsellor at school. If you are bullied, report it and ensure it stops. Tell yourself each day that you love you and that you are worth it. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are a decent person and a loving person. Surround yourself with positive people. Why not this year tell yourself you want to make changes. You want to live. Take care of yourself. What do you think? PS. They release a new number 988 for suicide prevention. Also, be aware that 211 is available as a resource of mental health organizations. Find out what is available where you live. Have a good weekend.

For Love of Country : Military Policewoman www.silvaredigonda.ca and Amazon

We were not in the Middle East long when we learned through the grapevine that two Canadian soldiers were being returned home. This was because one was of Egyptian background and the other Israeli. We were stunned. They were Canadians. I approached them as others did to offer them support and tell them how bad we felt for them and recognized them as Canadian soldiers who should remain. They were like so many of us who had various backgrounds. I never did get used to the women covered completely and walking behind their men. Not all women did that and they said it was religion, but I had a problem believing it was not something more. Time passed rapidly in the desert. Though everyone spoke English, some did so in a limited fashion. I became afraid that my own grammar would diminish, as I had to keep my language simple to be understood. I was afraid that after six months I would continue to speak this way when I returned home. During my first ten days I worked all except one, when I went to Tel Aviv. I worked exclusively with the Dutch Police. Their method of work is entirely different from our own. At least it was in that situation. I spent my first day with Luke examining various report forms. The Sgt Major later informed me that we have over 500 various types of forms or reports. I would never again complain about Canadian paper work. Apparently this was a MFO requirement and not the Dutch way either. When I first spoke to the Colonel he informed me that we had a variety of cases: suicide, homicide and sexual incidents. One of the Dutch military police asked me to guess the age of an Egyptian man. I guessed forties, maybe early fifties. I was surprised that he was in his twenties. The harshness of the sun had drained his youth. His skin, parched with the dryness, seemed baked into place. I was sitting at the station and some Italian officers came to visit. I made coffee and told them how the Dutch didn’t like my coffee. I spoke to them in Italian, grateful that I could practice speaking it. They were quite sympathetic, assuring me that my coffee would be wonderful. As they drank, they spit it out simultaneously, forgetting their manners. "

This is dishwater!” one exclaimed. The moment of truth had come and I must have looked quite offended because they immediately tried to take back what was said though they did not drink any more of my coffee. One of the Dutch policemen made another pot for them. Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman. www.silvaredigonda.ca and Amazon

Happy Belated Thanksgiving to my neighbours - South (USA)

I taped the Thanksgiving Parade and am watching it in segments. It is thanksgiving for the people being returned home to Israel. I would have loved to have seen everyone released but it is a start. Yesterday was a frustrating day. I had signed up with Toronto Enterprise for a two hour lecture on cyberg security threats for businesses. I couldn't seem to retrieve a ticket with code, they advertized, which apparently I didn't need because just before the talk, they sent me the login. It began with acknowledging the aboriginal lands which I am used to. They do it now before any lecture, to be respectful. Then they acknowledged that there are from the Black community, people who had to come to Canada against their will. I was surprised by this and my grey cells started to rotate. I have to admit I know more about Black Slavery when it comes about the States. I did attend a town near Windsor where we were informed that Black slaves came from the Underground Railroad and settled in the town and did well. Niagara Falls has a museum as well regarding the Underground Railroad. I have watched several documentaries. I know that when the slaves were escaping for their freedom to Canada, we had slaves here who were not freed. Sounds absurd doesn't it? I know that in the early 1900's a Black man had his own Taxi Company in Toronto. I know that there was a lot of prejudice. However, in school, I only read "Black like me" in grade 8. So, the acknowledgement did make me think. Then there was talk about the city library which helps start up businesses. So at this point, five minutes into what I thought was going to be a topic about cyber attacks, security etc.....I was sure I was in the wrong lecture, told them in the chat, I had registered for the wrong event and left. Apparently, I was at the right place because I received the slides later. So, that frustrated me. A toaster I was supposed to receive Wednesday, never came til today and it was left on the stairs outside for anyone to steal, if I hadn't seen the truck. My office is by the front window. I had to go to the post office twice because I sold my second book and first book on Amazon. First they told me I had seven days and then it was the next day which was yesterday. The postage cost the same as one book and today trying to increase the postage was like pulling out a tooth that doesn't want to come out. It is really hard getting help these days. Anyhow, while trying to catch up and having to go out, I decided that since everything was going bad, I might as well get my hair done and get lunch. Well, that turned out well. I was already in a mood and was getting ready to turn left into the mall when an older man, driving from the opposite direction decided he wanted to turn left right into my car. I honked and stopped and behold he sees me, missing me by six inches. My day seemed to get worse. He had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, which he must have been trying to light, thus not seeing me. I finally get to my hairdresser and he becomes my therapist as I fume. I get him going and he asks if asking for pronouns can be considered illegal to ask. My grey cells start rotating again and I ponder. Actually, the Enterprise people which means the City of Toronto I presume did want to know if I was heteorsexual or among a list to tick off. They wanted to know my gender and a whole lot of answers to questions. I looked at my hairdresser who I shall call Paul and said I think there can be a case. However, I am not a lawyer. He tells me they want to know that if you apply to work for the city. I think of how in the old days when they added Ms to replace Mrs or Miss and how some got upset about that. Really is it really anyone's business if a woman is married or single? Men were just Mr's single or married. Why did women have to have their marital status revealed? I have heard people complain because they don't want to reveal their pronouns but do because of peer pressure. I decide that my day is not getting better, and ponder that it is no wonder so many people are depressed, so I decide to go have lunch at KFC and a man stands beside me at the counter telling me he is hungry. I observe that he has an emotional disability and I buy him lunch as he demands. He yells, because I won't buy him a big drink, just a small drink with his food. He yells out that he is hungry and wants a big drink. That doesn't fall in the category of hunger, so I just pay for the small drink along with his order of food. We sit separately and another woman who I have seen before (she is a scam artist) tries to scam the woman near me. Today she is pretending not to be able to speak or hear and is producing a card which is asking for money I presume. I call her up on it, so she forgets that she cannot speak, or speak English and responds to me in English. Then something stirs in her brain and she begins talking in a foreign language. Too late, hosay. So, lunch is not as relaxing as I had hoped. There were people begging outside the post office, who looked very healthy. There were more scammers of course. I went shopping for groceries and when I finally got home, I was in a better mood. I realized that I can afford to eat well, can work as little or as much as I want, and am quite pleased with myself. Then there was a grand reporting of the coming together of three religious leaders, Jews, Muslims and Christians outside Toronto and that made me think as well. Though it was a big deal for the reporter, it wasn't for me. That is because I have attended quite a few. It was not news to me. So, they came together because of the increase in Hate, Jews being the most targeted, Muslims next and the LGBQ2+ next in Toronto. Or maybe just because what is happening in the MIddle East is affecting people here. I have often wondered why the major Religious Groups don't speak out more often as a team to the general public. This is a good first step. We need to show unification. So, though it wasn't a great day, it was not my Thanksgiving. However, as I heard people wishing each other Happy Thanksgiving at the mall; I realized they didn't know it was the Americans celebrating. Oh well, we live so close it doesn't matter. So Happy Belated Thanksgiving. I am calling it a day. Have a good weekend.

Ominous - Will be published in the new year. Want to be on my list?

I have been focused on reading my publishers notes and editing my book. What I am doing this time which I haven't before is reading the text out loud. This way I can detect errors better. Try it. I have to admit I love this book. It is full of mystery, and spookiness. It is also in memory of Holy Terror who died when I was writing the book. Of course writing is close to my heart, but it normally takes a back road with my practice, seminars etc....I want to change this. I want to pay more attention to the books I have written and sell them. I do well at Word on The Street and need to find other venues. Actually, whenever I find a place to sell my books I do well. So, I need to be more vigilant. Because I have been giving this editing my primary attention, I have of course fell behind in everything else. I suppose one day, I may retire and focus on my passion. However, I also love my work. Go figure. Sunday I went to Niagara Falls with a group and just loved it. As soon as Mr Attitude dies, I want to place a for sale sign up and go, go, go. We went to Betty's Restaurant for lunch and they have won an award there for their fish and chips. You get a salad, the main meal and dessert. I recommend that you go there. It is in Chippawa, right across from the City of Niagara Falls. It is also the birthplace I believe of James Cameron of the Titanic. Actually they had the house next door from him for sale not too long ago. I had always planned to retire in Niagara Falls, but now that Toronto is getting so rowdy, Niagara is calling me more loudly. If you haven't been there, you must go. The falls are beautiful. It actually reminds me of how Toronto used to be. Of course living somewhere and visiting is always different but I think I'm good. I am always checking out their properties and prices seem to constantly vary so it gives me a good perspective. However, Mr Attitude is my priority and while he is alive, I shall remain steady. Some people just give up their pets, or force a move on them, but I can't do that to my little guy. He is going to be 21 years old. If you see me move, than you know, he has bit the dust. However, only the good die young and this little guy is solid with attitude. So, to dream and boy do I dream. I was scheduled to go to a Christmas party, but that has been cancelled due to the organizer having to be in the Middle East. So much suffering. Come on Hamas, let the hostages go and surrender. Stop hiding where the vulnerable are. Russia, call it a day. Let's all focus on working to delay global warming. There is no need to keep on killing because ultimately if we do not wake up and smell the coffee, we will all be in the same boat, with no point of return. On that note, while I am editing Ominous and I should be finished the first round this week if all goes well, my thoughts turn to my next book which I had started a first chapter. I keep thinking of characters, who is going to live and who is going to die. See you don't have to do it in real life. Anyhow, it has been a long day. I just wanted to let you know how Ominous was doing and how much I love this book. I think you should like it if you like scary books. Keep in mind that I do attend book clubs and sell my books at places where I can. If you would like me to attend, just send me an email. A reminder that I am also selling my books on Amazon now. I still have my web site www.silvaredigonda.ca on shopify but I am considering dropping it since one book buyer had problems downloading the ebook. I don't want anyone having problems getting my books. Shopify gets one more chance. I believe in second chances. If you have problems with ordering any of my books or ebooks, please let me know. I am also willing to mail them anywhere in the world. Take care of yourself. Keep warm. Try to balance your lives, and most important be kind to yourself and others. People need that during these difficult times.

For Love of Country : Military Policewoman - The Middle East ( now being sold on Amazon)

I was kept busy throughout the day. My room was covered with sand and had to be cleaned. Dirt and sand had accumulated. The bed, pillow, carpets, everything was filled with sand. Was this due to one storm? At five I went to the club as ordered and stayed for thirty minutes. The mess opened as well and that is where I preferred to be. I was starving and had missed lunch. Joanie, my roommate from Edmonton, and I fled the bar to go to the mess. We ate and though we were both exhausted, we went to the PX to buy more cleaning supplies. That night I slept well. Joanie and I met and went to breakfast in the morning. We decided that breakfast was an essential meal. The day consisted of briefings in the morning, and I went to the Detachment in the afternoon. It was an interesting day. I met the Dutch and the U.S. military police and it appeared that they hated each other. Doug was there of course and continued to agree with anyone and everyone. I found that immensely comical because they all differed in opinions. I was very pleased with the Provost Marshal, a Colonel. I found him to be a delightful, keen man with no hesitation in saying exactly what he thought. I took some of my clothes to the cleaners and gave them to an Egyptian. He grinned and touched a design I was wearing on my t-shirt which happened to be on my breast. I was furious. I demanded to speak to someone in authority. The manager came and we spoke in the office away from everyone. I explained what had occurred, and he informed me that the Egyptian would be fired. I found that harsh. I had only wanted him spoken to, a warning. I realized how important these jobs were for them. They were paid well. The manager informed me that the employees all knew how they had to refrain from such behaviour and that it was stressed with zero tolerance. He would have to let the man go. I felt kind of bad for this man. Yet, I could not allow any man to touch me inappropriately. I was surprised that he had done so in front of other soldiers. I never did see him again. Again the remaining part of the day was spent cleaning and washing clothes by hand. I fell asleep exhausted and awakened early morning. I wrote a brief note to my mother advising her that I had arrived. I was walking towards a group of people lounging outside. I sat with them to smoke a cigarette. One of the Canadian soldiers scoffed as I sat down and told me that I should put some clothes on. I turned on him. I was wearing shorts. “Don’t you ever talk to me like that again!” I raised my voice. I was angry. “I will wear what I want, when I want and how I want in my own time. Get it???? You are here, what, one week? Seeing a woman is too much for you? Get over it! You are not that affected by these women dressed from head to foot. You are a Canadian and you better remember that!” None of the other men commented, but he knew he was alone. This was his problem. Soon the other men began talking about general things. I was in the conversation. My accuser, displeased that I had told him off in front of everyone, backed down. He remained silent and I never heard a peep from him again during my tour. No one had supported him.” Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman. www.silvaredigonda.ca and Amazon

Being hacked? Really......Not nice.

Not too long ago I saw some hateful post against Israel. I reported it. The post asked who was the terrorist, Hamas or Israel? This happened just after Hamas attacked Israel in such a brutal and cruel way. I indicated that it was Hamas who is the terrorist. Now apparently it appears that someone posted something which didn't come from me. Because I am not sure who is impersonating me, I will pause from writing more than one entry a week until I determine who is doing this. I did have someone spew hateful things at me and the Western World. I have no tolerance for hate of any kind. This war in the Middle East is brutal. Hamas is a terrorist group. What is happening now with all the people and children being killed who are innocent is heartbreaking. However, in Canada regardless of where one is from, they should be getting along here. There is no room for hate here. We need to remember that hate is a crime in Canada. It is hateful when one spews hate, keep people from entering establishments, mean graffiti etc.....We need to remember that democracy is fragile. I serve all people and always have. My work is to help people, help themselves. MY work is to keep people alive when they want to die because of desperation. My work is to help families find peace for themselves. My work is to help couples rediscover their love for each other. I have probably worked with people from every culture and religion. As far as I am concerned people deep down are all the same. We need our families and friends. We need the basics of life. We need to have food and water. We need to have shelter. We need to feel safe. We need all the basics before we can be the best we can be. For that person who spewed such hatred at me because of my representation of the Western Word, my first thought was I am so glad to be a Canadian, where I can't be subjected to the consequences of that hate. The second thing that came to mind, was how hard it must be to feel such hatred. I believe that the majority of people are good. There are extremists who seem to find themselves in the pool of hatred who cause harm. What I think we should be mindful of is people who normally come here to become Canadians do so because of a reason. Just recently someone told me at a function that her family came to Canada so she and her sisters could be free to be who they wanted to be - it was for the opportunities they as women would not have at their country of origin. They love their country of course, but it is here that they feel safe. I have heard of women being inprisoned for refusing to change their religion and were subsequently raped and beaten. People who come to live here deserve to feel safe and cared for. We must remember that it is unfair to target any religion or race. Extremists are a minority group who speak volumes, but are just that - the minority. Most people want to just make a living for a healthy and happy life. So, remember this when you want to hurt someone because of something you don't understand. Who you are spewing hate at is someone like yourself, more so than different. Remember that prejudice - is prejudging. There were studies that showed that people who were prejudice were placed with people of the group they hated. Well hold and behold, they found that they were human. How spectacular. Perhaps that is what we need to do when there is a hate crime. Have the culprit do community services for the group they hate, so they can see the humanity which they would not be able to see if there was no exposure. One of the best things in Toronto is the food of the different cultures. Ok, I am vegetarian but I can go into a Palestenian restaurant or Jewish restaurant and have good food. I listen to the stories of new comers and hear of their dreams. So, if you see my name associated with any hate about anyone, it is not me, but let me know where you hear it from. My motto has been since my youth when I was a lifeguard, "Whomever you see in distress recognize in him a fellow man (man at the time included everyone)." Have a good week. Please be kind. If you feel hate in your heart, examine it. If you are of faith, pray. We need it. What do you think? Until next week. PS. I am also selling my books now on amazon. No ebooks are uploaded yet. Have a good weekend.

Perfectionists (cut and pasted ) York University - Health for your info

Women are more likely to be perfectionists when raised by an overbearing father whereas men are more likely to exhibit perfectionism when raised by an overbearing mother, according to a joint study from York University and the University of British Columbia (UBC). It’s the first study of its kind to investigate how the way mothers and fathers bond with their sons and daughters – and how their cold or controlling behaviour – can act as a potential predictor of perfectionist tendencies in young adults. Gordon Flett Gordon Flett “Our research underscores the influence gender-specific parental behaviours can have in the psychological development of children and their risk of perfectionism as they grow older,” said Gordon Flett, the study’s co-author and a professor of psychology in the Faculty of Health at York University. “Perfectionists experience higher levels of depression, anxiety and suicidal tendencies. The pressure children feel to be perfect is more likely to come from the expectations of one parent, with gender as a key factor.” Using psychological questionnaires, the researchers surveyed over 400 men and women undergraduate students at UBC. While their analysis revealed this pattern of perfectionism in father-daughter and mother-son relationships, Flett points out there are always exceptions. “Perfectionism runs in the family, but further research is needed to fully understand its origins, how it can be fostered differently in boys and girls based on parental bonding behaviours and the gender dynamics at play in child rearing,” he said. The study supports previous research by Flett and his longtime collaborator, UBC’s Paul Hewitt, among others, that theorizes an individual can develop perfectionistic traits to compensate for unmet emotional needs from harsh parenting. It’s also the latest research contribution for Flett in a career that has spanned over three decades studying perfectionism. Flett’s expert advice to parents is they should strive for excellence – and never perfection – in their kids. “There is a subtle, but tremendous difference,” he explains. “Even successful perfectionists never seemed to be satisfied and always focus on what they could have done better. Striving for excellence means parents can model healthy reactions to mistakes that their child can then mimic or imitate.” The study, “Father-daughter and mother-son relationships: Parental bonding behaviours and socially prescribed perfectionism in young adults,” was published earlier this year in the journal Personality and Individual Differences. Flett’s co-authors are Sabrina Ge (first author), Chang Chen, and Hewitt at UBC’s Perfectionism & Psychotherapy Lab. Flett and Hewitt recently co-wrote a book, Perfectionism in Childhood and Adolescence: A Developmental Analysis, which considers the issues addressed in this study in more detail. The book was a finalist for the 2023 PROSE Awards.

Busy Time Again - Reviewing Ominous

Hi, As you know I will be releasing my next book for the new year. My publisher has sent me my edited transcript for review so I need to give that my full attention. This is on top of my private practice so I will only be able to post from my book as promised for the next few weeks. Thank you for reading my blog.

The Sinai Desert - For Love of Country Military Policewoman www.silvaredigonda.ca

I and the other Military Police person, Doug, were briefed at 11: 00. There were also two other people who had different jobs there listening to the briefing. This was unusual and it did nothing to lift my spirits. The MWO also insisted having either Doug or myself in charge. Doug immediately spoke up that he should be in charge. Doug said he had a way with words, more specifically he said he had a mouth. To avoid an argument, and not create animosity in such a short time, I refrained from further conversation. I had made it quite clear that I was not happy with what was planned. I had expected to work at the Police detachment, but the MWO stated that he preferred us to remain with the unit, but there was not enough work to occupy us. He indicated that working as a bartender would be part of our duties, as well as keeping the bar clean. I informed the MWO that we could not be bartenders as it was a conflict of interest. How can we arrest impaired drivers if we serve them alcoholic beverages? I began quoting orders which listed what was not permitted quite clearly. I imagined my six months as a gopher for the unit and felt my spirits, charm and happiness or what was left of any positivism rapidly diminishing. Our Canadian Officers also had the same demeaning duties. The MWO pointed to the man behind the bar and said he was an Officer. I immediately regretted my hostility towards the guy. He was being humiliated enough. If I didn’t like the prospect of cleaning the bar as part of my routine, I could just imagine how the Officer felt. Doug cordially agreed with everything the MWO wanted, and of course I disagreed. Doug could think he was in charge, but not of me. He could report to the MWO all he wanted. I had worked with people outside the military police only once before, at the Olympics. I learned quickly at that time that it gave some the opportunity to get even. I was worried that it would happen again. It did not bother me to work with this unit. What did bother me was the concept of working at the Detachment and being sent back to the unit to sweep and clean for a couple of hours. I saw a bleak prospect for my time here. The MWO continued that if we were not treated fairly we were to return to the unit. I assured him that would not happen. We were told that at 5pm we were to return to the club for a meet and greet. With no sleep possible, hungry, and my first day of menstruation, I was not happy. I went to my room and changed. Being aware of too many men around me, I wore jeans and a t-shirt. Others, less bashful or conscious of pale white legs wore shorts. Some of the men even wore bikini sunbathing attire. For a brief moment it seemed as if we were at a resort. Not much later, I was sipping on a free Coke, compliments of the Commanding Officer. I was gazing outside the window from the club when I saw the wind begin to drift the sand. It became worse and I saw my first sandstorm. “Just like in the movies!” one man at the bar exclaimed. I continued to watch the storm and saw birds being forced to fly in reverse. I wondered how they survived. I was amazed. It then suddenly started to rain. I learned that the forecast had called for coming winds. There had been no warning for this storm. I realized that this would be one of the many dangers our pilots would face. My enthusiasm about the storm was not shared among my colleagues. Perhaps they were too exhausted. People who had been outside began running into the club, soaked and sandy. Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman.