China, China, China - Politics - Something to think about

Stat Can reports that Canadian imports from China hit 100 billion in 2022, setting a new trade record. I do my best not to buy any product from China. Why? China is dictatorship. There has been two Federal elections where China seems to be interfering. In 2021 there were allegations that China was bribing and funding particular candidates. This seems widespread involving an abundance of resources and people according to the press. Canada does not have protection against this (what's new?). This is a major concern for me and what I find disturbing is Trudeau defending a liberal politician who is investigated by our Intelligence and what does he do? Instead of a full scale independent investigation, he bashes our CSIS, our intelligence whose job this is. Sound familiar? I was stunned by the Prime Minister's reaction. Why is he so defensive? What is really going on? Years ago I was at a function where a man informed me he was a politician. So, I asked a political question which I think was quite benign. However, he exploded stating he was at a private function, and that he was a member of parliament and therefore needed to be respected. I didn't even know he was a politician, until he informed me. It was not difficult to mentally note that he was very stressed. He lost in the next election a few weeks later. Being a politician is a privilege and whoever is elected with this power should protect us. Last night I listened to the Prime Minister who said words to the effect that non public figures do not dictate to politicians. Wow! He talked about the democratic process in his determination to defend the liberal politician in question. I believe our Intelligence people and the press who expose what is going on. Apparently the Prime Minister was warned before this particular liberal was placed in power. If I was in a position of any power and the spy agency warned me that a candidate was being supported by the Chinese, would I ignore it? No, I love my country and democracy which we need to protect. Politicians come and go. Politicians are elected by us, the average person. We do have very much of a say, especially if we feel that there may be a threat. We have already learned that China has set up police stations here in Canada. What else is going on and why are there not sanctions in place to protect us? So, I think it is about time that people begin to really think about what is going on and to vote accordingly. What do you think? Enough politics .............

SUICIDE IDEALATION

Today I attended an one hour talk provided by Ryan Slobodian representing EHN. I shall provide you with some notes which provides statistics. I don’t think this was designed for therapists but more elementary from the comments on the chat room I was reading. One hour simply isn’t enough time for this topic. I will tell you that for the first few years as a psychotherapist I was very concerned about clients committing suicide or causing harm in general. Now I am more experienced and have studied the topic, researched and attended lectures so am more confident. One of my instructors in a basic course had a client when he was a student whom had thrown himself off a bridge on the Danforth. Since then that bridge has appropriate life saving security measures. This is what Ryan reported: Every year approximately 4,500 die by suicide in Canada, about 12 people a day (this excludes MAID). High risk are men and boys, veterans, people in prison and minority populations. Women have higher rates of self harm which can be a risk factor for suicide. The rates of suicide among those aged 10 to 24 increased nearly 60% between 2007 and 2018. Indigenous suicide rate is three times higher and suicide is the leading cause of death in 2SLGBTQ and youth; four times more likely to die than their peers. Among black children it is twice as likely. What wasn’t mentioned is that though women attempt suicide more, it is elderly men who are the most who die from suicide (according to my studies). Suicide also runs in families. What I normally ask clients whom I consider at risk, is if they have suicidal thoughts and if they have planned it. Also if there is a family history of suicide. There are so many people suffering who don’t really want to die but have difficulty living with pain. There are others who think about how to kill themselves for years but don’t want to. I normally encourage clients to let at least one family member know what they experience. I am also always available for couple and family therapy since my work is very systematic. Normally, there is so much shame but reaching out does help. I also encourage a support network and work on core issues. Another thing that wasn’t mentioned is if a person suddenly changes and is very positive, it may be that he or she is ready to commit suicide since all the affairs have been taken care of. If you are feeling suicidal please get help. Another thing also not mentioned is a large amount of people who have attempted suicide and failed, found later that they didn’t really want to die. Ryan also spoke about appropriate language. I may have breached that here. Sorry. Language is always changing and quickly. I do my best, especially if it is with a client. What one person may feel is inappropriate another doesn’t. Have a good weekend everyone. Here in Toronto we have lots of snow on the ground and it is beginning to snow again. Oh boy! Take care and remember don’t hesitate to find help if you need it. If you are feeling that you want to commit suicide and you can’t wait to see someone go to a hospital and tell them. There are also suicide help lines. The choice is yours. Get the help you need please. People care more than you may think. I will be getting slides/video of this lecture. If you want a copy just let me know. There was more information that might be of interest to you. Just so you know that regardless of where you are in the world or the politics going on, I consider all people equal and worthy of being helped regardless of the state of their country, wars, terror etc….Just provide me with an email and I shall send it to you. If you wish just let me know you want me to post it and I shall. If I can help one person, it is a good day.

High Tea at Casa Loma

Aw, holidays……Just love them. Family Day weekend is no exception. High Tea……I just love High Tea but I may just have to go to England to get a proper one. Agatha Christie, you simply have made me addicted to High Tea after reading all of your books. This year I decided to go to High Tea by myself to Casa Loma. Aside from my family, most of my existing friends find the price too steep. As you know I have suffered the loss of too many friends these past few years and they were the best, which is probably why God came calling or the Grim Reaper. Since I still have a lot of work to do on myself….I have been spared to date. Thank you. I want to live a strong long life or not so strong but I want to live as long as possible. Let’s get back to my topic. I have no qualms going to restaurants by myself or touring around for that matter. I actually love my own company. I also like the company of others in groups or otherwise. It is all good. When it comes to exploring though I do at times like to do things on my own so I don’t have to keep pace with anyone, linger when I want to and speed by, when I choose. When we share activities with others we need to compromise to keep it fair and sometimes, I just like to please me, me, me. So, I decided to share my experiences this family weekend. It started with trying to make reservations for one for High Tea at Casa Loma. I simply could not click reservations for one person. I could for two and more, but not for one. So, I called and left messages because no one was available to pick up the phone. No one returned my call and after a day or two I realized that no one was going to. So, I took the next step. I called the castle itself and explained my love for my castle and how I have been going there since I was a child, that my family was in Timbucktoo and that I wanted, really wanted to go for High Tea and no one was returning my call from the caterers or whoever was responsible for the High Tea. The lady from the castle, I was speaking to regarding the complications making reservations for one indicated that it was surely a computer glitch since I had hinted at discrimination against a single, rather than family event on family weekend. “Of course not” the Casa Loma lady encouraged (it was the computers fault). After my big sob story I was assured that I could go and hold and behold I was contacted and made my reservation with a lovely lady who took all my info. I had full intention of going since I think of Casa Loma as mine. It belongs to the people of Toronto and tourists. You see the poor bloke who made our beloved castle couldn’t pay for the taxes (I hope that doesn’t happen to the rest of us) and they took his castle away from him. This is the same man who brought electricity to Toronto and eventually had to live with his butler and died penniless. There is a lesson to be learned here. Be nice to the butler, you may have to live with him in his house, when you are taxed to death. Now, the day finally arrived and I was excited. It had been a few years since I had been to the castle which was high tea by the way. Or, no wait, it was the Italian festival. That was a fantastic day. All before we were chained with the pandemic. Ok, now I am excited. I drive my car and pay the $20.00 parking fee. It is double the price I paid before or is it? The price is still reasonable for my city (did decide not to go to the auto show because the parking was too pricy and I still don’t take the TTC because people are constantly attacked and well I don’t want to be a statistic. Also, they didn’t have enough cars and so they have a driver’s track. Not enough to get me to go there. Besides the only thing I would be able to afford is the one seater they plan to sell for $6000. next year. I can wait for that if my car can survive. Ok, back to the castle. So, there is ample space to park because I am among the first reservation of the weekend. It’s early and so there is parking. It fills up fast so if you are going to park there come early. There is also parking by the college, just South of there. Now I go in and I am asked if there is anyone else in my party. “Nope” I respond. “They are all in Timbucktoo. Now why would anyone want to go to Timbucktoo when they can come to Casa Loma?” I get three cheers for that comment only I didn’t say Timbucktoo and perhaps it was just one cheer and a lot of jovial smiles. Happiness is in the air at Casa Loma. There were a lot of people at coat check this year except that it was a bit more than that. It was a different location and it appears they took my coat outside. I didn’t question that and the coat was returned warm so it is all good. There was some confusion though. They wanted single files. well that just didn’t happen and I felt sorry for the American tourists who were very confused. I am used to our limitations so there was no damper to my spirits, yet. I was provided with a band for my wrist which had to placed on with assistance because I am clueless to plastic bracelets. This year I was not directed to my usual seating but that is ok. I was directed to the restaurant/bar at the West side which was good. I had planned on going there and now I have. The seating was very comfortable which I appreciated. You see my office chair for my desk after nine long years of service broke. I placed it outside and of course someone picked it up and brought it to their residence. You would think that the guy with her would have helped her carry it but no. She managed on her own. Maybe he had a sore wrist or two? I have been trying office chairs since and haven’t found one that can offer me pure comfort and built for me. Ok, sorry, let’s get back to Casa Loma. I am taken to my seat by a dashing looking tall youth who is probably an actor or should be since his serving skills need more attention. “Will anyone be joining you?” I am asked. My response, “No, no one wanted to come with me.” So of course he charmingly responds that it is their loss or some wise words to that effect. I like my location which is near the window and I see the snow globes for outside winter dining and the parking lot where my car is waiting patiently for me (yes, my car is still alive. Thank you so much. Please hang on a bit longer). I produce my reservation for about the third time and this time I actually read it. “Family Day weekend, experience the elegance of the Edwardian era with an afternoon tea at Toronto’s iconic castle, Casa Loma. An elevated experience. Guests will sample a selection of premium teas, scones, gourmet pastries and tea sandwiches in the majestic of the Castle. Limited paid parking is available onsite at a cost of $15.00 per vehicle. Additional paid parking is available South of Casa Loma at George Brown College. 1xHigh Tea at the Castle $75.00. Subtotal $75.00. Tax $9.75 Tip (18%) 13.50 Total $98.25 Experiences are non-refundable and cannot be modified or exchanged. Please call the restaurant if changes are needed.” Why did I think I paid $20.00 for parking? Is my memory failing me because there is too much in there? Did I accidentally tip 5.00? Was I distracted looking for nearby parking? I won’t sweat it. Nada. Parking is more reasonable than I thought. So, I am totally relaxed sitting in my comfortable space listening to the violinist and simply enjoy being. I inform the dashing server that I don’t eat meat. “Do you eat Salmon?” he inquires. “Yes.” I eye the wrapped salmon and egg croissant at another’s table. I am good with it. My eyes are drawn to someone’s tray with a dessert swan (nice) and a good size fresh fruit on custard in a circular baked mini pie. I am beginning to get hungry. I am not sure why but it takes about a half hour in between the first dish of no sandwiches, no egg croissant and no savoury salmon and my dessert which finally comes There is no swan and no other eye pleasing delicate pastry. It looks bare. What I get and what others get is a no brainer. I ask the dashing waiter “why?” He informs me that there is only one option for no meat or any other dietary need. It is a standard one fits all. If you don’t eat whatever than what you get is what I got. He further explains, “I decided that it was best for you to have the dietary requirement rather than to have less food.” Now, because I am in a good mood and it is the castle which just puts me in a happy place and though this is a server who is consistently disappointing me, he will eventually learn that he should not decide what is best for women or anyone else. He should have provided me the option and failed. That would have given him a deduction on any tip I would have given him. I did ask for coffee instead of tea which baffled him. “This is tea.” I am not surprised. “I want coffee.” He returns with my coffee. “Do you like it?” “Yes” I respond. “It is Coffee Americano.” I don’t comment. What can I say? The first time I heard of American coffee was in Naples and if you read my bio, you shall see it. The server in Naples told me you put it through the grinder after it has already served another, with the full coffee favour and then charge twice the amount. Stupidity has finally come to Toronto. Now, I had to wait a lengthy time to get my second course if that is what you want to call it. After waiting for about 15 minutes, I ask the woman next to me if more is coming. I had heard her ask the server that earlier. “Meringue is still to come,” She states. She is with two children whose manners are so impeccable, I almost faint a few times. I wait for another five minutes and ponder if the meringue is worth waiting for or will I be once again disappointed. I share with the woman that I don’t want to wait for another half hour and she is more than welcome to the final dessert. I figured that at least one of the two boys would accept more dessert. I leave the restaurant unnoticed. I missed the part of being provided with orange juice by another server, a bit older, more experienced, who enlightened me on what the drink is called when there is liquor inside. I had turned down the liquor since I am driving, at which point he placed the orange juice down. It was actually good, better than the coffee. I only got a second cup of coffee because the water lady came by and she could see I really needed coffee (good or bad, Americano nonsense or otherwise). I am still in my happy place. After all it is Casa Loma. I walk towards the elevator and I see both my dashing waiter and the orange juice server talking. I made a good choice of not waiting at the restaurant. The elevator has a paper sheet on it saying it is out of order. So, I move back and find myself being tackled by another hired help. I managed to get my leg entangled with his and what he does to keep me balanced is get a cheap fill. He is horrified. I am wondering if I shall suffer trauma and decide no. It was an accident. The man had no intention of grabbing me where he shouldn’t. I decide to allow him to keep standing. I move towards the stairs. My mood is starting to change. Should I roar? I climb the stairs and am almost on the second floor when aghast I watch two men carrying a wheel chair up the flight of stairs. One of the men looks pleasantly at me and tell me there is no functioning elevator. I am stunned. “You should complain!” He smiles at me and I am still in mood changing decline, from terrible service to food omission not of my choosing, to cheap feel grope and now no elevator for an elderly woman whose family is carrying the wheel chair? I cringe. The men do not seem surprised that there is no elevator for them. Are they tourists? Is it the magical castle which makes everything better? My mood alters once again, feeling pleasant. I am in my beautiful castle. I go back down the stairs after seeing everything once again and being enchanted to a time before mine. I go downstairs and watch clips of movies which have been produced in the castle. Sometimes I recognize my castle watching a movie at home or otherwise, but at other times I do not. I watch the short movie clip of the history of the castle and go to the gift shop. I complain that there is no elevator for a tourist and that it is terrible. The response is that the elevator is old. Hey that is a good answer. “Was there not a sign indicating it was out of service?” The question is rhetorical. My eyes catch the cheap snow globes which surprises me. There is an abundance of them. I decide to walk to the horse stalls. I am by myself for the first time in a long time and so I can go wherever I want at my own pace. I notice that the horse stalls now have a table in each one for guests at special events. There are artificial candles emitting a soft glow. I see the greenhouse and then I notice the red carpet. Something new since the last time are the wax figures of stars who have acted at the Castle. Some are great images and others not so much. At the entrance to the wax figures is our Prime Minister Trudeau. I believe his image is not so bad. This morning news stated that more than 2000 horses have been sent to Japan since the Liberals made an election promise in 2021 to stop the practice. That was a big disappointment for me. Ok, back to the Castle. I have posted here some of the photos I have been talking about. Would I recommend High Tea at the Castle? Yes, despite everything, I do. I would check first if the elevator is working, if someone has difficulty climbing. It is the first elevator in the city if my memory serves me right. Otis #1, I do declare. The city should have an additional installed. It is unacceptable that tourists should have to carry wheel chairs up and down flights of stairs. A law suit could become more expensive. I will probably go with someone the next time so I can keep what I like to eat with no meat and give the meat to others to avoid what I actually endured this time. My other experiences of High Tea at the castle have all been wonderful. I left the Castle in good spirits. It is my castle after all. Til next time. I mention the castle in “The Internet Murders” and coffee Americano in For Love of Country: Military Policewoman . For your signed copies buy at www.silvaredigonda.ca By the way on Family Day, I actually did spend it with my immediate family who is meowing right now to get me off the computer. Oh boy…Mr Attitude…….What do you think? P.S. I shall be going to another High Tea real soon. This is one that should be closer to the real deal and I am looking forward to it. I won’t be bothering you with the details.

For Love of Country : Millitary Policewoman www.silvaredigonda.ca

“You have to gain five pounds. 130 pounds is the minimum required weight. Those nails…” She stared at my hands in disgust. “Gone! And your hair…” she hissed, “must be short.” At the time, my dark mane reached to my buttocks, and that is how I had always worn it. When I was a child, my mother braided my hair or pinned it up. She told me that when I was very young I had cut one braid, forcing my parents to cut the other side to make it even. After that, never again, only trims to keep the ends healthy. Peter had refused to cut it all at once. “It would be too much for you my dear. We will cut it in stages. That will be much better for you. Oh my, such beautiful hair… why?”“I continued to stare at my new image and wanted to cry.” Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman. www.silvaredigonda.ca

Fraud Fighters: Hackers expose illegal call centres and phone scams (Mar...

Desire and Sexuality - Theology essay

DESIRE AND SEXUALITY By: Silva Redigonda Christ on the cross bows his head, waiting for you, that he may kiss you, his arms are outstretched, that he may enrich you, his body spread out, that he may give himself totally, his feet are nailed, that he may stay there, his side open for you, that he may let you enter there. Bonaventure Desire and Sexuality Sexuality and Desire from week eight will be the focus of this essay. This paper will define what desire and sexuality is, how desire and sexuality relates to prayer and answers this question. Why is there resistance to prayer utilizing desire and sexuality? Finally, how desire and spirituality relates to Eucharistic Ministry will be discussed. Definitions of Desire and Sexuality Sexuality and desire conjures images which is subjective for each person. The dictionary describes sexuality as sexual character; possession of the structural and functional differentia of sex; recognition of or emphasis upon sexual matters; involvement in sexual activity; an organism's readiness to engage in sexual activity. Franciscan Prayer indicates that Desire is born of God because we are made in the image of God. That there is something within us, that longs for fulfillment and that something, is not satisfied by anything created or finite…Prayer is defined as desire. Sheldrake indicates that sexuality embraces a huge area of feelings and emotions that move us towards other people. Sexuality enables one to express emotions such as tenderness, closeness, compassion, and general openness to touch (pp 87-88). Understanding sexuality and desire and how it relates to each of us helps us to understand how it relates to God. Desire and Sexuality in relation to Prayer Each of us is a sexual being with emotions and desires, on a quest. Until that quest is fulfilled our sexuality and desires shall never be completed. That quest is God. The longing and desire for intimacy with God is profound. God is the ultimate desire. There is an aura of sexuality in the readings aside from Sheldake's focus. St Francis lived in the age of chivalry and courtly love (Delio, p 5). This explains the openness and romantic overtures associated with that time in the readings. In Clare's letters to Agnes of Prague, Clare describes the spiritual journey as an acceptance of the embrace of the crucified Spouse…the beautiful Spouse to whom Agnes is to be united. Clare uses words such as "burning desire" and urges Agnes to gaze at the cross (Delio, p 66). These intimate words in the present time are normally used to describe our passion for a lover. Delio describes the gaze on the Crucified Christ as an embrace, a desire to allow the otherness of God's love into our lives (p 78). Clare saw in the poverty of the crucified Spouse, the brilliance of God's beauty that radiates from the harmony of love(Delio, p 85). We as sexual beings "gaze" entranced with a lover. The Franciscans love the crucified God, a God of reckless, scandalous love (Delio, p 95). Bonaventure provides a declaration of passion. "When you pray, gather up your whole self, enter with your Beloved into the chamber of your heart and there remain alone with Him, forgetting all exterior concerns, and so rise aloft with all your love and all your mind, your affection, desire, and devotion, enter into the place of the wonderful tabernacle…(Delio, p 114). This exclamation is a prayer full of desire and sexuality. It is a love of romance for God, a desire for God. Bourgeault depicts the language of sexuality and desire in centering prayer. "The center begins to quicken, to take on a life of its own…even as you move about in your ordinary awareness, you will notice the pulse of that underlying mutual yearning honing you to centre. It is like a child you are carrying within you." As one closes her eyes for a lover, one closes her eyes for God, "God pervades the inner and even the outer senses so that the eyes instinctively close. The awesomeness of God's embrace of the divine self in the depth of the soul overflows into conscious life and lures the contextual self into silence." And God woos in return, "The context for trials in Teresa's life is God wooing Teresa to increasingly profound experiences of intimacy." (Seelaus, p 83). The aura of desire for God and God for ourselves is deep within our sexuality. The texts are filled with sincere tones of sexuality and desire in the expression of deep love and of complete surrender to God in prayer. Resistance to Prayer utilizing Desire and Sexuality We resist recognizing ourselves as sexual beings with desires for God because of our social norms. It is evident that the openness during the Franciscan era regarding the romance of love has changed in our society today. Sexuality is concealed behind closed doors. How God is viewed also has baring. Are we a spouse of God? Is God our father and do we relate to him as we would our own parent? What is our view of sexuality? What is our view of God? Sheldrake makes it clear that,"conscious and healthy sexuality is not necessarily genitally active."(p 82). Sheldrake brings it to our attention that when spirituality has been linked to sexuality in the church, it is restricted to conventional marriage and the birth of children (p82). Therefore, thinking of desire and sexuality for God may be considered as an aversion. Sheldrake makes it clear that, "our sexuality embraces a huge area of feelings and emotions that move us towards other people…Sexuality is what enables all of us to express emotions such as tenderness, closeness, compassion as well as our general openness to touch."(pp87-88) Eucharistic Ministry Feeling the Lord inside you at communion is the most fulfilled desire. Having the honour to distribute his body to his congregation is rewarding. There is an expression of desire on many faces as they come to receive the Host. There is longing and patient lingering waiting for their turn to receive. Being able to appreciate and understand that humanity is sexual and desirous in their nature allows one to appreciate its' importance in providing and receiving God and recognizing desire and sexuality in the prayer of others and ourselves. SUMMARY The concept of sexuality and desire in prayer may be very uncomfortable for some. That is understandable since sexuality has not been openly discussed as part of our norm in the church. Our sexuality has also been restricted in its meaning within the social norms. The wonderful Franciscan language, so pure, so sensual, so full of desire for God and God for us, returns us to the pure state of prayer. We are created to be sexual beings. This too often is associated with the actual sexual act. But we are much more than that. We have the capability to love emotionally as well as physically. Touching, reaching out and longing for others is a natural and important sphere of our lives – our sexuality. To be able to love fully, to desire fully with our whole being, deep within our souls is to love God. To be able to understand others and ourselves in our ministries as sexual beings with desire is a surrender of ourselves to God. The final quest. BIBLIOGRAPHY Bourgeault, Cynthia. Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening. Cambridge,MA: Cowley Publications, 2004. Delio, Ilia. Franciscan Prayer.Cincinnati,Ohio: St. Anthony Messenger Press, 2004. Seelaus, Vilma. Distractions in Prayer:Blessings or Curse? St. Paul's NY: Alba House, 2005. Sheldrake, Philip. Befriending our Desires. Toronto: Novalis, Toronto, 2001. Stein, Jess. Editor and Chief. The Random House College Dictionary. Random House, New York.1979.

For Love of Country - Military Policewoman www.silvaredigonda.ca

“Cheers were brief, before Chris barked, “You almost demolished my car!” The laughter began and we continued to travel along the lonely highway in good spirits. After about an hour of driving without realizing we were going in circles, we decided to stop at a country restaurant. As we proceeded into the parking lot, we saw what seemed to be the same truck. There could not be two of the same monster trucks in the area. We decided to leave quickly, back to familiar territory. As we drove away trying to find a main highway back to Toronto, we spotted a lone police cruiser off a dirt road. We decided to stop and ask for directions. The policeman was about our age, twenty-one or twenty-two. He began to talk about youths who frequented the wooded area and asked us to join him, to see if anyone was in the area. We obliged. We walked down a wooded path and into a clearing. Trees surrounded us, and the only lighting was provided by the moon. I understood why the policeman had asked us to join him. It was eerie. The policeman spoke of a woman’s body that had been found that spring, in these very woods. The cause of death had not been determined. Not much had been found. We walked back to our vehicles and exchanged farewells with the policeman. He stood by his vehicle and watched us leave. We returned to familiar grounds – the city. The following two days I spent shopping for new clothes and visiting more friends. Thursday, Sally and I went to the firm for our pay cheques and then went to the local bar where we had a drink with our boss and several investigators, all retired policemen. We heard about ancient cases, and I was given an extensive lecture about being a military policewoman. It consisted mostly of how and when to get drunk on duty. Sally and I departed after several hours. I brought Sam his pay cheque, but did not have time to stop and talk. I had an appointment. At the salon, I sat staring at what was left of my hair. It was so short. As I stared blankly at my reflection, the words of the recruiter pierced my soul. She had been rough. Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman.

What's Up? Death of a friend and thoughts of the World

Last week a friend of mine died. I had known her since childhood. She was a bit older and I always got a kick that an older student would walk to school with me when we were headed in the same direction. She was a neighbour and we became friends when I was older. Her family remained in the neighbourhood when many moved out or in several times. She became a single mom raising two wonderful children. She was very excited about walking her daughter down the aisle and returning to work. She had been so excited about life in general throughout the time I had known her. She had such a bubbly personality and could talk non-stop. When her sister left a message on my phone to call her, I knew something was wrong so I called my friend and hearing the sound of her voice asking me to leave a message, I felt somewhat relieved. I don't know why. The same had occurred when I called my other friend and left a message two years ago and it was her daughter calling me back to tell me her mom had died. That funeral was difficult because initially the funeral was for family only. Friends may be considered family to those who befriend others but family has the final say when death occurs. At that time, the daughter called me the night before saying only I could come and not other people I wanted to invite because I knew she would have wanted them there. Of course I abided in her wishes which caused some mutual acquaintenances from my second career not to speak to me again because they thought I should have shared the funeral details. When someone dies, people mourn differently and whatever one thinks, I abide in the family's decision. She later said I had made her feel bad because I told her that many would have come. You see I was the only friend there and she had many many friends who would have wanted to come. I understand how they felt but I had to abide in the daughter's decision. I told the daughter not to feel bad about her decision. This time with this friend (am I running out of friends?) her son called me back and told me she didn't have much time. He wanted me to go to the hospital and of course I went, spending four hours there and ensuring she had the Sacrement of the Sick. You see she was a devout Catholic. The four hours there with her two children was painful as I watched them suffer. As I left the room to go home, she raised her arm. A final goodbye. She died the following morning. The funeral was beautiful, even a dog was at the cemetary and though it jarred me initially, she loved animals and would have been delighted as the dog barked once, a final goodbye from another friend's dog. I pondered and thought I would love an army of animals at my funeral. Why not? I don't know how the Priest felt about it. He was not a happy camper in general and I thought his sermon could have used an upgrade. It was obvious that he did not know my friend. In general the funeral was beautiful and if she was there, she loved it too. The celebration of her life was indeed a celebration. Driving home was peaceful and I was amazed that my car had actually managed the trip. Each day I start the car and can drive it is worthy of a celebration. My thoughts were that life is indeed short and unpredictable. Both of my friends died from cancer after battling it successfully the first time. I did not expect either to die. Both had a jest for life. They loved life and perhaps that is one thing we all had in common. As I drove home I though of how silly it is that there is so much strife in our world. Last night I shed a tear as I saw the devastation that the earth quakes have caused to Turkey and Syria. Of course we will help. This morning as the death rates mounted, I wished that Russia would use its resources not to try to invade and destroy Ukraine but to send its troops to aide the people who could really use the help. I thought how nice it could be if China instead of being confrontational for the Americans shooting down its spy baloon, sorry it wasn't us. Apparently our planes can't fly that high. Yup. We know exactly what you are doing China. You are not fooling anyone. How nice it would be if you could send your army to help free any survivors. North Korea, well, what can I say. It would be nice. These disasters will probably increase and hopefully it can bring us all closer together. Life is too short for all this infighting. We are one world, one planet and we are all connected. We can have such a beautiful life working united. Wake up world.

VARNA - Theology ( a paper from grad school probably in my first year. I have made a few changes so whom I am using as an example is nor recognized)

By Silva Redigonda Varna is a class structure for Hindu society based according to birth. There are over 3000 castes (jati) one is born into and one is expected to marry within one’s own caste. In this paper the caste system will be defined. It is difficult to be unbiased when one believes in equality for all. Yet this resistance and aversion will be examined as well as attractions to this practice and belief system. This will be compared to Catholicism that has a definite hierarchical system. Hindu society is divided into four class systems. The highest class is the Brahmins (seers). They are intellectuals and spiritual leaders. They guard their authority to learn and teach the Vedas (Scriptures). The second group is Kshatriya. This group consists of political rulers, warriors, administrators and protectors. The third group, the Vaishya consists of producers, artisans; farmers. This is the mercantile class, business and commerce and trade. The fourth group is the Shudra. This can be characterized as followers or servants. They are people of service and manual labour. This class is excluded from reading sacred text. The World Religions by Smith refers to this class as having a relatively short attention span, yet capable of working well under supervision, proving to be hard workers and loyal. Smith continues that these people are better off and happier working for others. There is also a fifth class for this paper, which is so low on the tandem pole that it is referred to as Out-class - the Avarna. The Out-castes are not permitted to participate in any formal Hindu religious activities and are destined to have what is indicated as the lowest form of employment such as cremation, executioners, leather workers, hunters and fishermen. Foreigners also belong in this group as do families who become outcasts due to some dishonour. There is no attraction for this caste system for myself. Yet in trying to be objective, I see order to a system that is very structured. Again, what happens when one strays from an ordered structure? One is not only banned but punished. There is a sense of belonging in a caste system. There is a sense of protection by one’s own group. It is a concept of us against the world. Again deviating from expectations may have consequences. I equate the caste system to an outdated feudal system of the middle ages that has managed to survive. Catholicism is very structured within its’ hierarchy with associated obligations. The Pope is at the head and can declare himself infallible in regards to particular spiritual matters. At the low end are the brothers, sisters and deacons, perhaps even priests to some degree. Scriptures can be read by all in the Catholic Church. I have never heard a woman give a sermon except at a Regis mass. I did not make much of it at the time but the female students were overjoyed that this was their first time witnessing a nun speak instead of a priest or deacon. Women cannot be priests. I have never heard of a female deacon which is the closest one may come to being a priest. He may be married. Men clergy must remain celibate and in the Western world they may not marry. Yet if a man has been married in the past and divorced he may become a priest and if he is from the Eastern Church married, he may come to serve married as a priest. There seems to be an aura of unfairness and inequality. Yet there is a respectful hierarchy within the structure of Roman Catholic Church that has survived. One may be born into Catholicism but one is not obligated to stay and one may return. One may argue as a Catholic about Catholicism and one may make mistakes and is forgiven. There is a laity among the community of the Catholic Church. I was an Eucharistic Minister and I witnessed how people responded to me at church. There is an aura of respect, an expectation of behaviour which I try to project. I attended a “Theology on Tap” function one night. This is an ecumenical religious community that socializes at a bar. A school Chaplain gave a talk about her role as a chaplain. She began by talking about her church (Roman Catholic) experience in her youth. She started talking about those people who sit at the front of the church (meaning Eucharistic ministers and readers) acting more important than the rest of the people. It was so offensive but after that I made it a point to sit at the back of the church the majority of the time when I was not serving. This young Catholic chaplain had associated laity of the church as “those people” separated and a class of negativity. This chaplain also placed herself in a hierarchical position of importance. I knew a man who had retired as a Major from the Indian Army. We were at a coffee shop and he remarked about a young woman at the counter laughing with friends. To me this young woman was no different from others that would make me take notice of her. Yet to the man I was having coffee with she was an embarrassment to her caste. He remarked with disdain that the girl spoke with a particular accent indicating that she belonged to a particular caste. I was not sure what he was talking about at the time. He clearly indicated that her dress and deportment was not appropriate for her caste and that she would not get away with the way she was behaving and dress like that in India. Another woman I knew, a Hindu woman, fell in love with a man outside her caste. Her father did not approve so she married someone within her own caste as her father wished and it ended in divorce one year later. Neither loved each other but was obligated to marry within their higher caste. Her father expressed his regret that he had imposed these values onto his daughter. If this woman had married the man she loved, she may had still ended up in divorce but ultimately the choice would have been hers. The pastoral and theological issues that have arisen for me is that for God we are all equal. I believe that each individual is special to God on his or own terms and not any organized religion. Jesus himself was always annoyed with religious leaders. Smith argues that people in the lowest class are not capable of being more. How can they be if not given the opportunity to learn and grow? What can I do to be able to understand and help people from different belief systems? Again at work, a student approached me who was very upset because he loved a woman (both Indian) from another caste. He was wealthy and his father was in a powerful position. I naively offered to talk to his father. Of course this never happened and now I understand how religion crosses borders and there are influences that do not remain consistent for those who separate from their roots. Just like the priests marrying in the East and not in the West, one must understand the influence of the culture. Now |I realize that for that love sick manchild all I needed to do was just listen and be a supportive presence. I am also able to understand the struggles that new Canadians have as they try to leave old customs behind and adopt new ones within a new culture that can sometimes end in death when there is a clash challenging the belief of honour. Smith argues that people in the lowest class are not capable of being more. How can they be if not given the opportunity to learn and grow? What can I do to be able to understand and help people from different belief systems? I reflect and understand how people like the man I was with having a coffee would report what he considers inappropriate to a parent. What can I do to be able to help people from different belief systems? I reflect how some cannot trust Western authority who do not understand the ramifications of dishonour. I can only ponder and hope we can all grow as a people standing side by side in unity with God and with each other. Maybe – someday.