Bringing you up to date, Seniors, pandemic and moving on to regular notes next week.

I hope you are healthy as you read this. Today one of my universities asked us as alumni to say something to present students. I provided a blurb, called a sibling to see if it did sound good and sent it. I am always amazed at how the universities I went to, reach out to us. I loved university. I have attended two more webinars since I wrote you last as well as my weekly self and client care. I also reached out to a Seniors community centre to offer group work pro bono. I reached as well to a homeless shelter for the same. I quickly heard from the Senior Centre because seniors are suffering so much in isolation. This is my way of giving back. One of our associations asked us to volunteer as Emergency Response for disasters etc…and I did think about that. It involved providing three sessions pro bono and then recommended a price for ongoing treatment or we could offer our full rates. I did not choose to go that route. I feel a sense of responsibility to my clients. When I started practising I was asked by a church to provide free sessions as part of a draw for funds needed by the church. I thought about this and then went to an Association I belonged to and asked if this was ethical. They provided me with some ideas to think about and I did. I finally said no to the church. If I would give three sessions let’s say for free what happens when there are a lot of issues to deal with and the recipient needs more care? I have an obligation. Do I just say that’s it? What happens if the person cannot afford therapy, etc……That was the motivating factor for saying no to the emergency response. During these times of crises there is money for that with the government and charity organizations. That is why I did not volunteer for that. What this pandemic has taught me is that there is a great need for seniors. Retirement homes were the hardest hit. When the military was sent to retirement homes to assist, that spoke volumes to me. Not all aged homes who could have asked for help did. One thing may have been culture. Some people came here from countries where they have suffered abuse from their own police and military. They would fear our military in their homes. They have been traumatized in their countries of origin. That is only one factor that I am suggesting. I have known for years that seniors suffer in homes for the aged. I don’t know how many w 5 or 60 minutes type of shows have brought attention to that. Seniors who have provided so much to society are now suffering neglect. How did we allow this to continue for so long? Some are now saying that Senior homes should not be for profit. In Quebec there was so much negligence in one private home that during an investigation, a nurse went from viewing what was happening, to return to her vehicle to cry. That alone is so upsetting. Not all homes have suffered from the pandemic and perhaps that should be examined. Why are some homes free of the pandemic and others so bad that one, that I know of had to be closed down? What went so wrong? I hope that people can learn from this pandemic. I hope that we can open our eyes to see where work needs to be done and improved. Our premier Ford just the other day on the news was so mad at greedy corporations who are refusing to give tenants/businesses a break that if they don’t he is coming for them. The language didn’t surprise me. I also found it comforting. It is the right thing to do. Our government is also helping so why can’t they do their part. So many people are not working right now. Someone told me just yesterday how fortunate I am to be working. It takes me back to my Ethics course last December before this all started. My colleagues from that Association mainly work in hospitals and are so overworked, one told me how luck I am to have a private practice and to make my own decisions of how many clients I should have. They were very right and now I wonder how everyone is faring. They are the ones that people turn to. How do they maintain their own self care? My associations have been wonderful, especially the Canadian Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. I am at awe at how hard they worked to try to make deals with corporations of different platforms authorized to use and more. I did check with the American Association of Family Therapists legal team for ethics regarding providing therapy for Americans. The response was that it was doubtful because I would have to check with each State and be registered with that State etc…….I informed the lawyer that I would not renew my association. It is not with spite, it is just too costly. They too are providing free webinars but aside from the one when I first examined an online platform I have already attended or studied from their perspective. I need new. I am not altogether in letting this option go. I am a Registered Psychotherapist and that is another route I can examine in the future. For now I shall drop the AAMFT and select another Association which consists of a range of psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists etc…….. I think this would be a better choice for me right now and for my clients. However, I shall wait until this pandemic is over. I will miss AAMFT. However, the cost is much to high especially with the state of our dollar right now. It is now practical. The lawyer suggested I stay for the option of attending the conferences. As you know I cannot leave my pets for more than two nights. They grieve each time I leave and are not friendly with others. I rescued them and they do not feel comfortable with others. They are now 19 years old but are so happy and healthy that they might just hang in there. As you know Holy Terror is the star in “The Internet Murders” www.silvaredigonda.com . I also belong to the Sisters of Crime and I have been very pleased with the two webinars they provided. One was at the end of the day on Tuesday where I could barely keep my focus since it was a long day. The other was on Saturday night and I was wide awake and keen. That is the one with the Forensic Psychologist. Initially, she began with the differences between a psychologist and psychiatrist and I thought it was going to be boring as so many webinars have been for me simply because I already know all that. However, that did not stay long. She was riveting. Her lecture covered two of my careers. She has written about 60 books non fiction, and is teaching at an American University. She is also providing a two day on line course. If I wasn’t so busy, I would definitely be interested in doing a PHD in Forensic Psychology at that university. However, I am just one person and I cannot simply do it all. She deserves a full blog and I will provide that. For now I think I have brought you up to date. If you are bored you can buy one of my three books. Keep yourselves safe and please listen to the infectious- disease doctors even if some politicians think they know better. Be able to distinguish opinions from experts in the field. I have decided to continue self isolating and see what happens to the statistics in two weeks. Stay safe and God bless. What do you think? I will like to continue with my theology and psych notes. If you ever have questions, don’t hesitate to ask.

Why are people still having problems with social distancing during this pandemic? Why not….

I have been taking this pandemic very seriously. Quite simply I don’t want to get it. I love life. There is much I want to do. My life has always sped quickly and during this phase it is not slowing down. So, I have much to live for. I love the beauty around me. I love nature. I love good company. I love good food even though I have become a vegetarian. I love animals and I respect it all. Many of us knew it was a matter of time before we would have this pandemic. Many of us know that global warming soon will not be reversible,,,,,,,,,And so the story goes. With some, unless there is a knife at their throat, do not see any danger. There are still those who believe that the world is flat. I think one is a politician. If that person got elected than he is not alone in his thoughts. However, because I love life so much, I do expect others to stay six feet away from me. I have my faults. When my neighbour’s pet comes to me, I will give him a treat and it is anticipated that I will. Others keep their pets away from me as if I have the bubonic plaque. I understand. I know pets can get Covid 19, even if they cannot transmit it to humans. However, with humans I make no exception at this moment in time to come near me. I have been good. I have only gone out for groceries. I am happy that yesterday I was able to have Krispy Kreme delivered to me. I had a discussion with a friend yesterday that when this is over, she can come over for a nice dinner. I haven’t seen her since September. She has it all planned out how to maintain social distancing while dining, I would like to wait until this is more down the road. Today they opened the store fronts; parks are now open. I am hoping to get a long walk in but what if I have to go to the bathroom? Maybe I should take my car, limit my coffee drinking, but how do I leave the house without drinking at least two cups of coffee? I almost did it today. I almost went out to my car to drive to my lovely High Park which has just opened. If you haven’t read my second book, you won’t know that when I went to high school, I would skip classes to go to High Park. I have always loved the outdoors. It must be in my second book. I have to read it again (www.silvaredigonda.com). But, then the snow began to fall and to continue to fall. I already stored away my winter clothes including my head coverings. I watched people walk along outside my window in their parka’s with their hoodies up, taking their faithful dogs for a walk. It is a new week, with a new beginning. The hardware stores are open. I have some projects planned but not until I have something done first. The insurance company said I need a new roof. It is not because I need a new roof. Insurance companies now dictate what they want you to do because they can. If you don’t do what they say, then they will eliminate coverage for whatever ……. So, I shall do that because I have other priorities. Then when it is more convenient, I shall drop them and get another company which may ask for other things. My insurance company has not decreased my rates though I have used my car once each month since the pandemic. Others had done so on their own accord and I shall go to them for insurance in future. It may be just good business but it is working for me. I loathe greed, especially during these times. I want to also help the little businesses but again this past Saturday, only two days ago, I went to a local store and I was impressed that all were maintaining social distancing. The owner also began telling a man off who was not maintaining his distance behind me or at least I think she was berating him. It wasn’t in the English language but it was not said with a smile. And then it happened. It was my turn to go to cash and wouldn’t you know it a man came beside me, he faced me and looking down at me barely two feet apart if that, he said “sorry.” Sorry???? I sprang away from him and blurted out “Six feet.” I have been so good, staying at home, walking away from people to stay six feet away and depriving myself of my freedom so I don’t get this horrid virus and then I go to get milk and bread, to have a man hovering over me and saying he is sorry. Not only that but the milk expires tomorrow. Now for sure I am not returning to that store. I know the poor owner was probably tired of raising her voice at people to maintain their distances but the area is not partitioned at all. So, until this pandemic is over, it is over, and I am back at the big stores because they have areas partitioned. They have six feet distances marked. They have their cash registers partitioned off for the safety of their employees and for me. Maybe the city needs to do spot checks throughout the city to ensure that minimum requirements are met. I know that people are demonstrating that they want everything to open, they want to get their hair done, their nails done and some don’t believe there is a pandemic. Well if you still have people believe that the world is flat, the holocaust never existed and scientists don’t know what they are talking about than why not have difficulty staying six feet away from someone? So, I will go to a park very soon and I hope that people don’t congregate because if they do, than the city will be forced to close the parks again and the stores. We can get through this pandemic but only if we work together as a team. Let’s do this. This pandemic does not discriminate. It attacks us all. You may have no symptoms at all and be a carrier. Think about that. And please stay six feet away from me so I can continue to love life and all those in my life including those I serve.

And how was your weekend?

I had an excellent weekend and my foot is still back there. I am quite apt at amusing myself. I awoke once with my pet, Mr attitude purring on my pillow beside my head. He had managed to take the entire pillow, while I had none, but the purring was nice to wake up to. I am pleased that my pets are so happy. As I mentioned last week I was to attend three webinars and almost missed one because it was on a Saturday evening but I remembered an hour before it started and am pleased that I did. My first webinar was about Health and Safety provided by York University. I think they have an excellent program. They sent me an email today with a web site for anyone friend or colleague who may be interested. I am going to post it here. If you are an employer, I would suggest that you send someone to complete the program. I find that many are at a loss of what to do when there are problems that arise. Health and Safety should be implemented at any work force but it is best when someone knows what they are doing. Here goes if you are interested. Actually, I just clicked on this and what it is, is the Patient Navigation of the Pandemic. I watched Part 1, which I felt was enough for myself. I am familiar with what was talked about: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttog64BL_0A> You can also check out York University on utube or facebook and the Health and Safety talk should be out soon. The other webinar about couples and fun was not so fun to me. I would recommend looking back last year at my conference at Guelph. The psychologist there was researching the topic and I found that more satisfactory and enlightening. My last webinar was the Sisters of Crime which I am a member of. Usually when there is no pandemic, they meet once a week and, my bad, have never attended. Mainly it is because it is a day when I see clients and sometimes it runs into the evening. As you know I write for fun. I just don’t have the energy after a long day of work. I do have to try to incorporate that somehow because I did learn so much at this one. “How to be a Better writer” can also be found on line. It is free for the members of “Sisters in crime or of crime (men are included). There were about 450 listening and the Editor did provide good tips which I incorporated the next day by reading, Mary Higgins Clark Just Take My Heart. If you are not a member you can watch for a reasonable fee which I would recommend if you interested in writing a book. I also watched a movie somewhere that I would recommend especially to any instructor because it is about life and change and sadness and happiness etc……Have your students watch it and have a good discussion or have they analyze what they saw. “Finding Your Feet” is a British 2018 movie. If you watch it and have an opinion, why not share it? I don’t want to spoil it so I will reserve further comments. I only recognized two of the characters from previous movies. I found it entertaining and educational. So, that’s it for now. We had one beautiful day and that is where I spent it reading a book, on my patio, sipping coffee and practising what I had learned. I need to read my own books again sometime this summer, through different lens. Anyway, please take care of yourselves, maintain social distancing but keep in contact with others through media of some kind or the telephone. Have some sort of structure to separate your day. Be kind to yourself. One of my neighbours left me a wonderful treat and that was a highlight. Some gestures of kindness are so appreciated especially during these times. If you need help, don’t hesitate to ask for it. In the city, there are so many resources. If you live elsewhere why not start a support group. What do you think?