Guelph University Conference - Thank you Guelph University - Wow!

It has been a very busy time and I am still on a roll. I spent three days at Guelph University for a conference where Aging and Health was the theme. There were a generous amount of speakers and I will be sharing of what may be of interest to you. I stayed on campus for convenience and rented a Town House. I have to admit it was spooky being all alone in it but it backed into a wooded compound where I could watch the birds and squirrels. One chickmunk escorted me around for a bit and being a lover of nature, I was in my element. I had no tv or internet, so that was new for me and most refreshing. I use my cell phone for clients only with no internet for distraction. I cannot remember the last time that I was free from news or world media. Nice.........I suggest you all try it for at least two days and feel free to share. This was definitely the best conference to date where I was greeted with the best of hospitality and food. Guelph's motto is To Improve Life and so our conference included presentations on health, sexuality, food security and climate change, aging well, benefits of dog ownership, collection and preservation of information resources and most interesting listening to the Head Coach Dave Scott-Thomas talk about his journey. He is now an award-winning coach and it was very interesting listening to him and learning how his approach works. Our hostess utilized a cattle bell to alert of us breaks etc.....It was fun watching this delightful and jolly woman clinking away. A few tid bits of Guelph as I heard it. In 1953 the first cable broadcast initiated. Guelph has 30,000 students and students are as from as far of 120 countries. It is known as a food university (amazing food). It is known to be the best food for students in all over Canada. I will attest that. I do believe it is in one of my blogs where I mention taking a summer course at Guelph and I was impressed with the food. No other university that I have attended came close. It is a lover of the Elm tree and created a new version resistant of the desease. The Yukon potatoe was created there. During the first day, I just drove to Guelph, went to visit where Fr Bill German now rests at the Jesuit community just outside the city of Guelph. He is whom I dedicated my third book to. I then returned to the city and stopped at A & W's. I just discovered it one day when we couldn't find a restaurant that had vacancies near a play I was going to see. I like their veggis burgers and love their french fries so I did not hesitate to stop when I saw ample parking. I had brought my own espresso coffee machine and boy was I glad. The townhouse had a nice kitchen but it had nothing in it. I had a coffee each morning and sometimes in the evening when I was there. That first evening the shuttle bus came and took me to the Art Gallery. I was surprised to see the art work for sale from the husband of a friend of mine - nice and catchy price. They had opened the new exhibit for us before the public the next day. The hors d'oeuvres kept coming and they were spectacular not only aesthetically pleasing but to taste. One had a cream topping that just melted in your mouth. I talked to as many people as I could who were from all the different universities across Canada. This is an annual conference of College and University Retiree Associations of Canada. The primary aim is to coordinate activities that promote communication among member organizations, to share info, provide mutual assistance and speak publically on issues of concern to more than 15,000 members across Canada (some details taken from the provided program). We were all delighted to hear that our lunch would be provided at the expense of the university as well as our treats and coffee at break time. All inclusive. This was definitely my best event. I will be breaking down informations in the following weeks as I took notes. If you are a retiree from an university I do encourage you to join. Next year this will be held in British Columbia but as you know I am not really retired, or shall I say I keep redefining myself and having different careers. I am never allowed to leave home for too long as my pets begin to miss me terribly. People miss me at a different scale. As I reveal what was spoken during the different programs, I will decide what to include for my education hours. No certificate here, but that is ok. I did attend a seminar as well since I spoke to you last and that will provide me with 5 hours. I usually exceed the 20 hours a year required for my professional development. The seminar was about compassionate fatigue and I am glad to say I am mentally healthy. I have notes there too, but I want to continue with the Guelph conference. I may however, do as promised and provide you with theology notes on alternative weeks as promised. Til then have a wonderful weekend.

Hinduism / Christian/ RC continued from theology notes

Hinduism - what you do. Tradition minded rather than historical. Comparison between life of Jesus and Krishna. Was Krishna a Buddhist? Buddha is similar to Christianity. Recognized as a saint. “Believe in Jesus Christ and you will be saved” - doesn’t work. Hinduism seems to be practiced, experiential and what have you. Hinduism is the oldest religion in the world and they don’t have structure. Hinduism is Yoga - making the journey from where you are. Caste - means who you are is determined by what your father is. Hindus are vegetarians. Roman Catholics - before Vatican 11, many people joined the priesthood. In Western culture a priest is important, in Hindu not. In Christian spirituality God is personal. Church likes to talk about God as personal. Super personal God - you can go to God directly. Then you don’t have to go to church. Most Christians believe in a personal God. Mystical - (a) Supra personal God. God Head. (spirituality). Trinity. Apophatic mysticism. Mystics say that when you meditate - experience God as beyond person. ( b). Orthodox - personal - trinity - If God can go to Supr and pray quietly, than why need Supra? Kataphatic - theology. Father - Son - and Holy Spirit. Purgative stage - Can’t steal and donate 5000. to the church and thank God for money. Contemplative God - more from meditative to intuition - “Our Father who is in heaven”. Purgative - Forgive as we forgive others. How do you find true self? Spirituality - detachment from the false. Self - First meditation is called principal and foundation. It is necessary to detach from all living things. You could be as young as nine years old in the past to join the priesthood. Recommends an annual retreat to find out who you are. Hindus believe in reincarnation. When you say thou kingdom come you say my kingdom gone. One of the best things to do for spiritual life - personality test. MMPI. To be continued…………….. I have been negligent of supplying you my theology notes which I hope you understand. These are my notes written some time ago. I can barely read my own writing, but taking notes free hand is the best way for memory retention. I am nearing the end of this notebook but I have many more. Conferences/seminars have begun but I want to try to alternate without falling behind in reporting to you my mandate in education hours. Unfortuantely I have had to put my book aside due to commitments. However, if you want to order superficial easy reading which I have written for fun, you may download my ebooks (for a fee of course) or you may order a signed book from me. Thank you for reading my blogs. If you ever have a question, please feel free to ask.

Fake News

A few weeks ago I wrote about a lecture I attended at York University. At the time I mentioned Climate change and perhaps informing you about it. Why not? It does not provide me with education hours, however, I am quite concerned about global warming and therefore any informed discussion of it. The speaker was Dr Fuyuki Kurasawa - York Research Chair in Global Digital Citizenship, Department of Sociology. The topic was, “Do We Live in a Post-Truth Age? Climate Change Research as the Digital Canary in a Coal Mine.” Dr Kurasawa stated that there is much information now which is not following research methods. There is an epistemic culture. The dissemination of knowledge shifted in the digital age. Epistemic judgement is being challenged. Mostly those 30 years and younger are assessing movies and things like amazon and rotten tomatoes; Rejecting science by influencing popular stars. They influence general opinion. Evidence is now becoming erratically contested. We see the increasing of evidence being challenged with pseudo or para science, on line trash and on line presence, eg.. the more followers, the more credibility one is given regardless of actual knowledge. This is a problem because there is nothing present to balance it. During 2009 a troll of emails regarding climate change were hacked and leaked on line. People claimed that scientists were deliberating their data. In actual fact - a group of scientists talking to each other and language was misinterpreted. This had a measurable impact on popular opinion, an impact on U.S.A. public opinion. The oil industry was challenging American Sovereignty which continues to this day. There is a clash between these cultures. Scientific method is being challenged by two other groups. There is a belief that getting likes makes one popular - viral - often becomes true in popular ways but not based on facts. Blogs - There are blogs in attempting to correct the popular but not though not facts. This includes other social networks such as twitter. There are two characteristics - Emergence of polarization. Believers and deniers of global change. Kind of diffusion of influence. Not only two positions pro/against climate change. There is consensus of actors, agnosticism/ corroboration, denialism and advocacy. What does the professor think? There is a paradox - nothing is like it seems. There is an emergence of scientists trying to save science and para/pseudo science claiming to be the truth. They claim their data is not accepted by scientists because of other motives. They are trying to give the public the idea that they are true scientists. In his personal opinion, private networks should be regulated and I agree.

Death and Dying - Children

I annually attend Kane Day, Take Heart, Bereavement Support Service. I missed last year for the first time, mainly because I didn’t think I would learn anything new from the talk and I feel the need to expand my knowledge for growth. However, this year I wouldn’t miss it, because it concerned children and Bereavement. The speaker Andrea Warnick, RN, MA, is a Registered Psychotherapist with a Masters degree in Thanatology ( a fancy word for death and dying). She had to go to Maryland in the USA to get that degree. I have experience with death and dying but not with a focus specific to children. Even though my interest has not been for providing services to children, as a Marriage and Family Therapist, it is often included. I find children precious little beings who need lots of healthy love, safety and routine. The first portion of the seminar was a tad disappointing because I already had learned it. There was at least one discrepancy from a word definition but that is not all that uncommon. There are different schools of thoughts and definitions are sometimes elaborated on and yes, I am going to suggest it, altered. After the long needed break which she promised would be within minutes and was not, she spoke of children and then my enthusiasm returned. She began talking about her nursing career working mostly with children with cancer. The children knew they were dying and wouldn’t talk with adults. The children would ask her if they were dying. Children as young as three would not talk about their dying so not to upset their parents. It is harder to stop children from trying to protect their parents. Parents too withhold from their partners to protect them. After working with children, she began to work with adults and found the same problems. No one wanted to talk about death. Children whose parent was dead were told, “You still have a daddy. He died but is still your dad.” “Are you not talking about dad because you’re going to make mom sad?” “You are not making them sadder.” You’re helping when talking about it.” (for this last sentence, I would check with the surviving parent first. People grieve differently and some parents may lash out in grief which would only silence the child and have the child get the message not to talk, which may unfortunately stop the child from healing). Andrea continued with being honest with children. Children need to know that the death is not contagious. Children as young as three understand the word, “mystery”. She stated that one of the biggest problems is the struggle of talking about death. People who have died in many parts of the world are kept in their homes and washed by family until burial. Andrea spoke of children feeling lonely and thinking it has only happened to them. Andrea spoke of working towards making changes. She stated that there is now a Bereavement camp for children. Children can ask any questions. Children balance joy and sorrow. Children have “grief bursts” and then goes out to play and have fun. They then returns with a child’s changing understanding. Teens - model healthy grief. Don’t preach it. Offer opportunities to connect with other teenagers in a similar situations. Be aware of the struggle for independence during a time of increased vulnerability. Children two or three years of death will understand about death. Children living on farms really understand. Be honest, use simple language - Brain tumor - say brain is stopping her from walking. A child might suggest buying a new brain. Response can be “ No unfortunately cannot do that. When a child named Stella died, all went to get cake. Body is in a box, called a casket. Head is there too. (one child asked where the head was when informed the body was in the casket). If children can speak, they are old enough to have conversation. With children, say death and dying. Don’t say lose life. Children lose toys and find them. Andrea spoke of New Orleans and the jazz funeral representing the boundary of physical bond, into the sorrow, moving through the sorrow and then celebration. Andrea spoke of death cafe’s (something I have to look up to learn more about). She mentioned The mindful Self-compassion written by Dr Kristin Nelf; utube - The power of vulnerability; also the Call to Courage. Andrea provided references: www.griefrecovery.com. It’s ok If you’re not ok by M. Devine. Andrea is also on line every Tuesday to take questions. Any errors that may be found here would be my own and not of the speaker. I found that people did talk about dying. They talked about their lives not shared with family, they talked about what they postponed and now regretted. They talked about people they loved who would do anything for them because they were dying and they would want something such as marriage, but not because they were dying. They talked about how people have treated them and they talked about how much love they were surrounded by. Others had no one, felt worthless and unloved and cared for. There were people who were only concerned if the person had money for survivors and had no other interest and there were those who had so much love who were not even family. There were those dying who would not share with others because of their shame. My own work in palliative care has been one of the most rewarding but also one of the most difficult and challenging. One more thing I would like to share comes from my grad days. I attended a talk one evening from a panel of doctors who worked with children. What struck me was how one spoke of children being more ready to die and yet not letting go because their parents wanted them to live. The problem was not with the child who was ready but for the parents not willing to let them die. Til next week.

Sexuality and Well-Being - Couples

I went to the York Circle lecture and Lunch series 22 Sep 19 and chose to sit in when Dr Amy Muise, Assistant Professsor, Department of Psychology, Faculty of Health at York University was talking about her research. Her research is based on how romantic relationships and sexuality influences overall health and well being. She teaches courses on the psychology of intimate relationships. Now, Dr Muise’s research is based on correlation research. You can look up my previous notes to understand how that works. Her participants usually have an income of 50,000 or more. She found that having more sex did not necessarily increase well being. There is a need to belong and a need for novelty. Self expanding activities promote relationship satisfaction among long-term couples. Novelty, change and unpredictability are associated with higher sexual desire in relationships. Three studies were discussed: -1. expansion in daily life. 2 - 1st baby. 3 - ways to enhance self expression. Self-expansion in daily life. 118 couples - 32 years old, living together 5 years. People found expanding - taking a trip together; learning something new; class together - dance. “She taught me how to make a cherry pie. …….. Study - higher levels of self-expression = higher sexual expansion. There was a 34% increase of engaging in sex. Also both people were happier as a result. There was no carry on to the next day. After a 21 day study - 3 months later. I attended another lecture regarding climate change which is very interesting to me since it involves our lives. I will re-read my notes and determine if it may be of interest to you. This month I am attending two seminars, one regarding children and grief. The other will be about aging and health. I am looking forward to both. There are some web seminars regarding couple therapy but I have to think about those because I prefer to attend, since I enjoy the interaction with others. I also want to ensure that if I have to sit in front of a computer that it is not a refresher something or other. I need to learn new, not variations of old. So, I will share more notes next week. I was once asked by an old professor of mine what seems to be the most problem in couple therapy. My response was communication. He agreed that he found it to be the same. However, when there are addictions involved, that remains the elephant in the room. Also, when there is abuse, it has to stop. Too often, abusers fail to recognize it in themselves; others don’t care and want to remain in control. Til next week, have a wonderful weekend and thank you for reading my blogs.