The Royal Wedding

I tape everything I want to watch on television and that included the 7 hour program of Prince Harry and the new Duchess. I did wake up at 336 in the a.m. I looked at the time, thought for a second and laid my self right down again saying no and falling fast asleep. When I re-awoke at a decent hour, I made coffee and sat myself down prepared to see the wedding. It was the first time, I actually taped a royal wedding. I had caught glimpses of others, mostly on the media news. However, this one was special. I had been at the gym a few days earlier, and an elderly woman was remarking on how horrible it was that the bride to be was divorced. I thought she would blow a casket if I had informed her she was also bi-racial. I wasn’t in the mood to provide first aide so I reminded her of what century it is and that I was really going to the gym to relax and not listen to hatred remarks. She attacked me later but that is ok. I have big shoulders and am very secure about myself. I could have been gentler but I do tire of hearing about hatred because I see how many people suffer because of it. I also realize that silence about hateful views only allows it to fester and grow. As I was drinking my coffee and watching the program I had wished that I had taped an alternate channel, but it was too late. The commentators were talking over each other and trying to guess what everyone at the church was saying. It was their own sarcasm rather than actually trying to know. It was as if they were trying to fill in 7 hours of talking regardless of what the content was. There would be a remark about one person and another was actually being shown. Then the worse happened. One commentator began talking about how many or lots (whatever that subjectivity means) of Londoners who are not happy and then tv silence (thank God). She never was permitted to pour forth hate. I was thankful vowing never to tape anything important from this network again. That evening I taped the afterward comments from an American channel. I marvelled at this wedding. The bride was beautiful and the groom enchanting. I saw two people in love and it was wonderful. The bishop from the States gave a splendid talk. He spoke of Martin Luther King and Teilhard de Chardin, my favourite Jesuit, whom I enjoyed studying. Both men gave so much, and Martin Luther KIng - well I wished he could have seen this wedding. Perhaps he did from up above. Though one commentator remarked that 14 minutes was too long or words to that effect expecting a response. An eloquent response was provided from the sole male commentator. He said the Bishop had a platform and was provided with an opportunity. I agreed. His strongest message to me was - love. It is often one of the questions I ask in couple therapy. Is there love? When there is, I am pleased that I have a couple who really want to make their marriage work. When there is not, I work with the couple to try to re-capture that essence. Sometimes, it is re-ignited and sometimes one partner does not really want to work on the problems. Sometimes there are ulterior motives. However, on this day, as I sit drinking my coffee and heating up some scones (I do love high tea), I marvel at how love can indeed bring couples together and families together and countries together. I am savouring the power of love. I am marvelling at the leadership of the Royal family. They have taken a stand. They have united cultures and said good bye to prejudice. I listen to my favourite “Ave Maria” and I silently dance to “Stand By Me”. I am revitalized. I watch the facial expressions of the audience and I chuckle. I listen to the bishop and I chuckle. I actually chuckled frequently and I marvel at the crowds who flock for what appears to be endless rows. I doubt there are any haters within that happy crowd. I applaud them, because I could not even roll myself out of bed until a proper hour. Had I been able to, I would have gladly attended one of the royal celebrations in Toronto, who provide of course a proper “high tea” (I cheat and insist on coffee. So far it has always worked.) In my third book, I mention high tea. I could easily have high tea every week or bi-weekly if there was something around the corner. Excuse me for dwelling on high tea. This Royal wedding, promises change and therefore hope, that love can accomplish so much and that love is so much more powerful than hate. I wish this couple so many good wishes. I wish the duchess a long and happy life with her prince and of course - Long live the Queen.

Tid bit stats dementia

I attended a meeting last week where a representative provided an hour talk about dementia and Alzheimer’s. I found that there were some discrepancies regarding natural aging and dementia and I only spoke out politely providing resources when I saw some from the audience looking confused and worried that they may have dementia. I will only provide the statistics that was relayed. I have written much about the topic and you may look back at earlier blogs. One of my underground psych courses was focused on aging and the natural changes. Feel free to look all that up. I know I am behind on school notes but I think it is also important to relay the latest information as I receive it during conferences etc….. I have much to write about so please bear with me. Due to some of the errors I noticed from the speaker, I will not be revealing who the speaker was or the organization. Suffice to say that was no affiliation to a university. 47.5 million people world wide suffer Reversable : delirium, depression, thyroid or heart disease, drug interaction, alcohol abuse, malnutrition. Irreversible is Alzheimer's disease, vascular dementia, Pick’s disease, Lewy Body Dementia; patient will continue to decline. Hereditary for dementia is 5%. One in 11 people over 65 have Alzheimer’s and other Dementias. 15% are under the age of 65. Numbers are expected to double or triple. Next I will like to write about what I heard at the Deerhurst Resort. I was very impressed and I went a long way to hear a Psychiatrist and Neurologist speak about the brain and creativity. Of course though Muskoka is a long way for me, there were quite a few people from across Canada and some from the States. Have a wonderful week. www.redigondapsychotherapy.com www.silvaredigonda.com (I write for fun. There is no connection to my practice.)

Police and other emergency response persons - conference - PTSD continuing from last post

Another ex policeman who worked 30 years in homicide had a caucasian father and aboriginal mother, whose father consistently insulted. After all those years on the police force, he ended up homeless, living on the street, suffering from PTSD. He was addicted with alcoholism. He had a “parasite on my soul”. He ended up in jail. He stated that he sat in jail and sat with God, PTSD and addiction, “chest ripped open” to become the man he was meant to be. He had time to reflect. He began looking for the humanity he had lost. He did his time. He did his 12 steps with AA and began volunteering. He said that when he was homeless, he saw ex military men and ex emergency personnel also homeless. He said that homeless men deserve help like everyone else. Today he no longer lives homeless. He has food and he has heat. He is also an elder. Another ex policeman went on stage with his service dog. He stated that 33% of the police force out West suffers from PTSD, 1/3 of the force. There was a Registered Nurse from Muskoka who talked about mental health days at school where discussion occur regarding mental health. She remarked about parents not allowing their children to attend, citing that there are no mental issues in their homes. Two more ex police went on stage and spoke of having to shoot men on duty. They spoke of suffering from moral injury. One said that when he joined the police force, he did not go to work to kill people. “I never realized how heavy this uniform was until I took it off.” They were considered heroes and didn’t like being labelled as such. It is difficult living with a decision to kill - a moral injury. It took six years for one to be exonerated. He stated that as a Roman Catholic, killing a person is a mortal sin and he struggled with that. The man who had killed had been unarmed though he believed he was armed. It was during a robbery. After that, he was afraid of making decisions at home. He could not even decide on a menu. It was easier to make decisions at work because of the structure and rules. At home, it is different. It was when the mother of the man whom he had killed forgave him, which he will never forget, that helped with his healing. There is a constant struggle for positive self care. Another spoke of a responding officer, attending to an officer who had been stabbed and was dying. He was never helped because he had been from another area. “You don’t want to go for counselling. You will be a wimp.” A man from the back of the room, who is not an emergency responder but does have a career outside the norm, spoke out that it is difficult to be without a soul. It was an interesting conference where there was much suffering. However, there was also a lot of hope. They are on the right path. They have all received help and belong to a support system. A policewoman spoke of arranging a group to provide care packages for a local police station. I thought that was a wonderful gesture. The conference was not held in Toronto. I often hear complaints about the police on the news in Toronto. There are groups who protest against them, and they sometimes lack a strong support system that they need. Too many forget that police are men and women who mostly try to do a job of serving the public and deal with situations which in a second can change not only the lives of others but their own. They are not robots who do not feel pain and sorrow. If you are an emergency response person and you have had to face a difficult situation, get the help you may need. If you appreciate what an officer has done for you, why not organize a small token of appreciation. Even a thank you goes a long way. What do you think? Please feel free to express yourself. There is a “Camp F.A.C.E.S” A camp for Families and Children of Emergency services. To learn more check out www.campfaces.ca. Thank you for reading my blogs. Have a peaceful weekend.