Canada celebrates 150!!!!!!!! Thank you for being my home.

As of tomorrow because I am working today, I will be celebrating each and every day for our birthday. I welcome all Americans to come and see us party. I spent two holidays celebrating the States party,in the States, once in Norfolk and the other at Disney World. I used to envy how Americans celebrated their birthday and we have finally caught up. Toronto should be going strong for four days. Can't wait! I bought a berry pie with only various berries all from Canada, whipping cream, strawberries etc.......I tried to buy all Canadian but my new Canada celebration slippers with cute flags come from China. Thank you China for making them so cute. It is hard to buy all Canadian if you don't read the small print. My flag pole is busted so I won't be able to fly my flag, but I have a tiny one for the car. Happy Birthday Canada and thank you.

Psychotherapy - How often and how much time?

I recently informed you about how people ask me questions expecting an immediate and easy response about the amount of time required for therapy and how I cannot provide it so here goes. My undergrad schooling was in psychology and I was informed that two months is the average figure for therapy. Then I continued with grad studies and etc…and I found that many kept clients for long term. What I learned in the process through internships and private practice, is that there is no magic number. Yes, I have seen people for consultations which has been mostly trying to determine how one can offer emotional support for someone close to them who has a terminal diagnosis, how to help their child, how to understand a situation etc……Normally that has taken me one session or two as a follow-up. Then I have seen clients who has taken up to six months to share a horrifying life event. I have seen clients from one session to one year to help them cope with their addiction and to help work on alternative ways of dealing with their suffering rather than the addiction. I have seen clients who required a diagnosis and have referred them with their permission. I have seen clients for a variety of issues and my objective is to help them with what they want help with but it is up to them to take a look at themselves and their situation and determine what it is they want. Often one wants me to “fix” or tell them what to do. However, it is up to the individual to determine what it is they want and need. I can only help them see it, by having them step back and look at themselves and their surroundings, while before, it was too murky because the emotions are too powerful. People sometimes see me for one reason and then determine that it is something else entirely that was causing disturbances, rather than what they thought initially. One question I often ask is “Who are you?” That question has been cause for reflection, a burst of tears, etc……Too often people are being told who they are, what their failures are etc…..that they see themselves how people in their circles treat them. It is for this reason and many others that I hesitate to say how much therapy is required for the individual. What are the struggles? How long has the person struggled? Has abuse been silenced? Has abuse become the norm? Does the individual have a distorted view of the world and their situation? How resilient is the person? Is the person suffering trauma, grief etc….How open is someone to therapy? Is there a support system? Is there a stigma etc….. It may take a few sessions for some who have experienced something and need help to sort things out for themselves. As a therapist I may help you understand why you remain in an abusive relationship if you are in one. You may also reflect and determine that it is you who are the abuser etc……. My objective is not to keep someone in therapy if it is not required. I find that unethical. I find that people initially may need weekly session or bi-weekly. This can be decreased gradually or more so. Some may want to check in once every month or six months or annually. Some may feel good enough to move on with their lives in another direction to please themselves rather than others. What do you think? I will like to continue with couple therapy, family therapy and Pastoral Counselling. Feel free to ask any questions.

Book number 4 idea

I was speaking to a friend of mine this morning who is struggling with cancer. She was given two years to live and has surpassed that but she does get bouts of heavy duty sickness. One thing I have noticed about her is that she wants to hear about my life and what my latest adventure is. I know she wants to know something that can distract her from her endless chemo. After bringing her up to date with my latest course and interaction and lunch with our previous colleagues, I said I didn't know what I should write my book on next. I have ideas of course but I did not know which genre I should write about. "Make it funny," she responded cheerfully. She had perked up. "Write about two old ladies who get into mischief while trying to solve crimes." Initially I hesitated. I wrote a funny first book and that got me into trouble with some non fans. "Hey Guy Buy Me" taught me how quickly people respond when they feel insulted by a woman. However, many men enjoyed the book as well. Ladies, I recommend that if you want to know what a man is like and his views about women, buy him a copy of that. However, I would encourage to make the guy buy the book and then figure out if he is worth having in a pending relationship. I informed my friend that I was thinking of writing about a serial killer who targets the elderly at a senior centre, however, I wasn't planning on using two elderly women to investigate. I had thought of using the characters from my "The Internet Murders". However I have no rush and can always continue with them another time. "Why not? I replied, quickly loving the idea. The baby boomers should love it (or not). "I can write it and dedicate it to you." She giggled and I could hear her excitement. I was pleased because for a moment she forgot that she was given a death sentence. I said I would like to hear more of her ideas. She was happy and so was I since she was suffering so and this would give her something to think about. I also thought of a Montreal publisher who said that she may be interested if the character is mainly in Montreal. How can I arrange that I thought? Would the publisher consider 50%? I said goodbye to my friend as she remained in her fugue of happiness since I had to walk to the office to do some work. Yes, a book of humour with a twist of mystery and a twist of death with the ups and downs of life and how to remain smiling. What do you think?

Memory and Aging continuation…………

This weekend I was asked a question about how much therapy a person requires and if I follow Freud’s concepts? Those were two mouthful questions? People always ask me spontaneous questions and expect a 30 second response, normally with a figure. And I was going to write about that today since I think it requires an answer for many. However, I did promise I was going to continue with memory and aging this week so I shall honour that. However, I will have to remind myself that the above mentioned comes up quite a bit and so maybe I shall record it so that people if not happy with me not able to provide a figure considering that people are different etc…..I will make sense of it here. So back to today. I said I would tell you about Medical disorders and diseases that affect memory. I will refrain from repeating sources as you will see that in the previous blog. Many of you may be familiar with dementia which can be caused by various diseases including Alzheimer, vascular disease such as multiple stokes and Lewy body disease. Thyroid problems become more common with aging and that can cause memory difficulties. Treatment with thyroid medication can improve memory but may not bring it back completely (p 12, Memory and Aging program, refer to previous blog). Anxiety or depression may cause difficulty concentrating. Hormonal changes may also affect memory changes. Medication for medical problems can cause memory problems especially those treating depression, anxiety, high pressure, allergies and epilepsy. Though there are claims that certain medication can improve memory, “To date, there is no convincing evidence that these medications are helpful for healthy adults experiencing normal age-realted memory change.”p 13 What does affect your memory is diet. What can you do to improve your eating habits? Are you getting adequate vitamins and minerals? Follow the Canada’s food guide at www.hc-sc.gc.ca Exercise is also important and is associated with the growth of new brain cells in your hippocampus. Evidence to date also depicts that the greater your cognitive engagement, the greater your memory function. Activities such as reading “challenging books”, crossword puzzles, playing chess or bridge, attending lectures, going to the theatre, singing in the choir and playing a musical instrument is an example of this. Frequency (more than once a day) and variety is important as well(pp 14-18). I enjoyed this program. I was actually surprised at how much I actually use my brain everyday but was not surprised at how much I need to get serious regarding exercising and eating better. Since becoming a vegetarian I realize I have been eating too much processed foods. It is easy to buy veggie made products. So I have decided to see a dietitian. Yes siree. I also do not exercise sufficiently which is because I spend so much time reading and sitting. I don’t think my clients would appreciate me standing and dancing as I am working with them. However, I also am quite aware that I manage my time and I can incorporate what I advise. Balance in life is my motto with lots of fun thrown in. I did sign up for the theatre which I love. After leaving my health club because of their ridiculous rule about a faster swimmer being able to kick out a swimmer from a lane if they can swim faster still, and telling me that all of Toronto incorporates this, I have not seriously looked for another. They also have a community centre really close to me however they do not have showers. Personally, I don’t think it should be legal to have gym facilities without showers. I think that is a hygiene concern. So, it looks like I have to consider outside my community or simply dance and dance and dance. How active are you? Do you use your brain? Do you enjoy photography? That counts. Get your camera and go out there! There are so many ways to learn new things and I suppose reading this counts for one thing today which is not enough, especially if you already know all this. If you have any questions please feel free to ask. What do you think?

Memory and Aging

I had a total of 10 hour participation refreshing my memory on aging and memory at York University, Neurology Psychology department at BSB. I studied most of this in my undergrad within one lecture. However we never actually participated in anything we studied. It was all theory. I cannot talk about what we shared due to confidentiality which is too bad so sad because all was interesting. So I will stick to the facts which mainly is composed from our handout book, “A Practical Guide to Managing your Memory Memory and Aging” by Dr Angela Troyer in collaboration with others and the profs. We were informed that 2% of persons 65-74 have dementia; 11% from the 75-84 group. “Only 8% of Canadians 65 and older have dementia” (p 12). In earlier blogs I have written about memory and aging and I suggest you look that up because it is in detail from my undergrad notes. But I will keep this simple for a basic understanding. It was simple in the way it was explained to us which is a pleasant change since it stuck to my brain. I still remember that 5 Nov is when we move our clocks back and 2/3 of the population have never seen snow. Do I need to know that? There are three processes to memory which is encoding - getting information into memory. The second is Storage - keeping the information in memory and the last - Retrieval which is getting the information back out of memory when it is needed (p6). Difficulties in any of these three areas will interfere with memory. If you are not paying attention or distracted you may not be able to encode. If you used to know something and don’t anymore such as a password this is where storage is. Retrieval problems occur when you want to use a word you know but cannot retrieve it right away. Storage is affected the least by aging; retrieval the most (p7). to be continued next week. Sorry for the delays but it is summer and I have to get out there. Do you feel your memory has decreased? What have you done about it? Next week I will continue by briefly listing the medical disorders and diseases in association with memory. What do you think?

Starting Group Therapy list - update

Well it has been beautiful and with the nicer weather I like being out more. Last weekend I took advantage of Doors Open Toronto. We actually have a tv that belonged to Elvis Presley and one to Marilyn Monroe at Zoomers Radio and Tv museum. They also gave out free ice-cream and I do recommend a visit there. They offer daily tours at about 4pm, but I would check before going there. I did not get a tour because it would have meant waiting for an extra hour and I had already seen everything else. I was also at Scarborough water treatment plant and they told me that the water in Toronto is one of the cleanest. I believe it. Then I was out at the West end visiting a historical house. It was a fun weekend. I have one more two hour talk to listen to about aging and memory at York University and will like to write about that for you next week unless something more interesting comes around. I like going to York and love bumping into people I know. It never fails. I have been asked over and over again by different organizations and people if I could charge almost next to nothing and I simply cannot. My expenses are over the top and I keep myself educated, etc....... However, what I can do is begin group therapies for people who are interested in that. I suggest that anyone interested should either phone me or email me directly and let me know if they want to be on a list for group therapy. Also let me know if you are ok with being in a general group or being in a specific group. Of course I also need a list of dates and times availablity. I am willing to begin with three people and then grow to no more than six. It may be surpising how close you may become in groups. So let me know if you are interested. Sessions would be weekly for two months at a time. Everyone needs to compile the standard paperwork and what is shared in group needs to be kept confidential. I wish you all a lovely weekend. Go outside and get some sun and play. What do you think?