Narcissistic - Abnormal psychology notes ( prior to DSM revision)

Narcissistic Person extremely self centred and view only from their own perspective. Entitlement - thinks smarter than everyone else. eg. of case: A male waitor from the Adriatic Coast, married/divorced, had a wish to buy a castle in the Adriatic when retiring. A young woman was hired from another part of Eastern Europe. She criticized how he lined up soft drinks on a tray. They have no toleration for criticism. This bothered him so much that he could not sleep at night. He told his friends that he would beat her up or kill her. Co-workers told her to stop. There had been no problems for 20 years. She continued and he warned that he would bring a knife and kill her. He did. This man was assessed to try to get a sense of remorse from him for the judge. Prof asked him if he didn’t feel bad, just a bit. The woman aged 23, who had a couple of children was now dead. His response: “I should feel sorry for that bitch. I was going to retire in two years now I can’t because of that bitch……..”He accepted no responsibility. They had an excellent defence lawyer. He was charged with second degree murder and was out in four years (mainly because of his age). He did not go home to his native country. Every year he visits his lawyer and brings him a bottle.

Error on date for book signing/sale at Indigo

The book signing/sale at Indigo at Bay and Bloor will be on Saturday, Mar 12 (not Sunday).

Will be signing and selling my books at Indigo, Bay and Bloor, 55 Bloor Street West, Saturday, 12 Mar 16,from 12:00 to 4pm

When there is an opportunity to sign and sell my books, I take it. Bloor and Bay is in the heart of Toronto, just South of Yorkville. I do hope that some of you stop and say hello so I know who reads my blogs. I shall be selling "Hey Guy Buy Me" and "For Love of Country: Military Policewoman." They have my favorite coffee there as well, so what else can I ask for? My books are my hobby and I had to stop writing my third book for a while because of my practice but it is all good. When you do what you love, it does not really seem like work. I did write about 130 pages of "The Internet Murders" but I found myself doing a lot of reading so I shall have to re-organize my schedule to focus on the ending of the book. It is all in my head. I have all my clues on a whiteboard I mentioned to you and it is a matter of re-reading all I have written and throw in all the tidbits here and there. Ideally I would just like to take a two week vacation and just focus on completing my book, but it is not possible. So, I will have to just figure out how to manage that into my workload without being too distracted. I have given myself lots of play time and rest time this winter. Sometimes, it is nice to just clear your head, so you have room for more. I think the next article I will write about either later this week or next week for sure is about narcism. It is a continuation from Abnormal Psychology. That has been my favourite course but I had to memorize all the signs and symptoms etc....Did you know that "80% of information transmitted is forgotten by students in 8 weeks....and by faculty in 8 minutes"? That was at the end of slides which I had to record though there was no author mentioned. That is why there is so much repetition in psychology me thinks. I also have some notes from Dr Koenig MD, regarding Religion Spirituality and Health. I found some notes that I don't think I shared with you. That I shall include as Pastoral. My heartfelt sympathy to the families and those suffering from the train crash in Germany. Germany is a beautiful country. I am also following a bit of the politics in the States as well as in Canada these days. So have a nice week and remember to play as well as work. I plan on playing a bit more than usual this week. Happy Valentine. I couldn't help but give myself a head start by buying my own chocolates and flowers. I also bought a vase of tulips and another of daffodils. The price was right and it was so warm on Sunday that I just had to begin my spring ritual of flowers. Did I mention I love flowers. So, take care of yourself, so you too can take others in your life. HAPPY VALENTINE!!!!!

Updated www.redigondapsychotherapy.com

Time is flying. However, I always make time for me. My priority is my self care so I can take care of others who see me. It is a new year and yet it is speeding by. I am looking forward to sunny warm days, as I prefer to be outside. If I could have a practice in my backyard, I would have it. However, it is not the norm at the moment, nor the climate. I know my great great grandmother immigrated to San Francisco once upon a time with my great great grandfather. Unfortunately she didn't like it there, prefering Switzerland. If she had I probably would not have had the same parents and therefore I would not be here right now as me. I do wish at times we had a Canadian Island somewhere tropical, but that too did not happen. So, I am here typing while the outside is struggling with global warming. I have my happy pet resting on my left arm perfectly content at the moment, while she has me. She is the heroine of my third book. Her name is Holy Terror. That is not her real name. That is her name in the book. I am protecting her identity. I am in the process of updating my web site. I do that myself so it always needs a tweek here and there. I am trying to ensure that only my pictures are there and not others supplied as options. That still needs a bit of adjustment. I have added a map for your convenience. Some people still think I am in the States, but I am in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. I hope the map helps with that. I have spent some time this year connecting with more insurance/EAP programs but there are confidentiality clauses. Check with your insurance/work plans if you want to know if I am covered by your plans. I do belong to a regulated body. So, take a look at my web site. Let me know if you have any questions about it and feel free to provide input. I am open to any questions you may have regarding psychotherapy, spiritual care, individual, couple and family therapy. You may ask questions here or on Face book page. I have a closed group but I have a page for psychotherapy and a page for my books. Feel free to interact at either one or both. Have a nice day. Tip of the day: You need to do what is good for you. People in your life may mean well, however it is your life. Changes you make, does affect those close to you and as you change yourself, you will see a change in them. This can have a positive or negative reaction. When someone has power over you and wants to maintain that power common in unhealthy relationships, remember you can find the courage to make a change. There are laws protecting you. You have the choice to decide what is best for you. Do you take care of yourself? What do you think?

Sorry, meet and greet has too be cancelled.

Sorry but I have to cancel the meet and greet. This happens in my line of work. Sorry. If you do wish to see either me or my office, please contact me. If you are already on your way and the door is closed that means I am with a client.

Want to visit me in my office? Open to meet from now, til 330 pm today

I am in my office today to answer questions people may have, to have people come and meet me and to see my office. I have copies of my two books here as well, if someone is inclined to buy a copy. Remember that writing books is a hobby, unrelated to my field. Feel free to come and see where therapy occurs, and if you feel safe here. I am seeing clients late afternoon so I need to stop the meet and greet at 330 pm. Hope to see you. I am at 2045 Dufferin Street, which is between Eglinton and St Clair. I am on the East side, North of Rogers, on the third floor Room, 301 of the Dufferin Medical Building.

Satanic Temple - Phoenix City in Arizona council prayer? (Pastoral)

I first knew of this when I was watching the 24 hour news. The scroll underneath popped out at me. Initially I was amused. Jokes popped into my head such as a “prayer to satan to guide the politicians.” How about a prayer to satan with the excuse of any wrong doing, “the devil made me do it.” I went to the internet and read one article that this satanic group does not really believe in satan but that they believe that satan is a concept who was against the establishment. I thought about that. It was Jesus who was always butting heads with those in power. Satan takes possession of people and animals and is always cast out by good. There is no doubt in my mind that Jesus and God is equated with goodness and satan is equated with evil. I wrote a paper about the devil which is in my blogs somewhere. It may be under Jesus and miracles because that is the course I had taken. My academic advisor had recommended I take the course because of who was teaching it. He was wrong. He was not a known scholar of repute but a Phd Student. In this particular class, I saw a different mindset from my own Catholic roots, from the Protestants in the class. There were two of us from our own college on this course and though we never thought the same when at our own school, we definitely united against the philosophy within this class room. The discussion always seemed to be about Jesus being anti women and I found myself defending Jesus as a promoter of women. Jesus had women who followed him. Women financially supported Jesus. Jesus taught both men and women. Jesus was always teaching and rebuking the thinking of the time. He healed on the Sabbath. He taught on the Sabbath etc…..What did satan do? Find my other paper on the blog for more info so I do not have to repeat myself too much. There are many who do not believe in satan. One of my professors enjoyed teasing me for my belief. However recently he spoke to me more seriously about this topic of satan. My question to him was “Why is it so different, than believing in a God?” Many cannot grasp the concept of God. They think that belief in a God is just as ridiculous. Yesterday, I sat in a pew at mass and my mind was focused on the Arizona council and this satanic cult getting ready for a prayer there. I wasn’t going to write about this, but this morning I decided that I would. The States appears to be more open about God. I don’t often hear, “God bless Canada” but I always hear “God bless America.” There have been research studies regarding the power of prayer (which I have already written about). I have taped two programs about chaplains on the PBS channel (I hope I have the right acronym) and it demonstrates the need for chaplains in the prisons, hospitals, and corporations. I associate God with goodness because of my own background. When people who are religious, especially those in leading ministerial roles commit heinous crimes, they do so much damage. To the person who survives the abuse, he/she relates the negativity of the person to their God. How can a person who is holy hurt me? Therefore God is hurting me. How can my father who believes in God and goes to church do that to me? Therefore, God is not good. When relationships are not healthy and there are associations with religion, then the religion becomes the problem. So where does satan come in? Initially I thought that this group is probably naive and harmless, a joke, an amusement. Satan according to the bible likes that you do not believe in his existence. Imagine if you actually believe in something existing that is so evil? Now here is a council group who begin their meetings, I presume with a prayer. This is diminishing in society. Now this Satanic temple group is indicating that Satan is a harmless concept. Then you have another group probably Christians who do not want this prayer to Satan at council. How do you eliminate a prayer to Satan? You eliminate prayer to God. Thus, no one is offended. What an achievement! Satan remains benign in the process, but was the main motivator. That is if you really believe in Satan. We had one College student protest about an angel on a Christmas tree in Toronto and eventually all angels were removed. We had a person complain about a Christmas tree in a building and a person who had poor judgement had the “Christ”mas tree removed. That was over ruled quickly enough. I was in 2nd Cup one morning during the Christmas holidays a few years back and one irate customer asked that the Christmas songs stop. I asked the owner about this and he said each complaint needs to be taken seriously. There is a melting pot mentality I always thought was ok. However, I am not a melting pot. Taking that course about miracles and Jesus had very little to do with miracles because there seemed to be little faith in miracles. However, I believe that life is a miracle. I realize that we need to get along with people of various faiths and religions. I certainly would never turn away any client wanting help regardless of their belief system. I have worked and studied with various religious groups, however, I am coming from my own religious concept which may be very different and therefore I am not melting into one religion. So how about this as a prayer to a Satan who does not exist: Prayer to St. Michael “Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God cast into hell, Satan and all the other evil spirits, who wander throughout the world, seeking the ruin of souls. Amen” (from prayer card) I pray that each and everyone of you have a nice day, find someway to find your own path, question and challenge yourself, and reflect on what is right for you as an individual with your own thoughts. Just saying…………….