Happy Hallowe'en

I am all ready for the munchkins coming tomorrow night. Every year I have over 100 children who come to my house. They are so cute, all dressed up as different monsters etc... Now I make sure I have lots and lots of chocolate and chips too. I noticed that the treats are getting smaller and smaller but more or equally expensive. Come on Big Corporations cut that out. My pets do not like Hallowe'en. I wonder why? So, for all of you out there have a happy and safe Hallowe'en. If you are bored you can buy one of my books at www.silvaredigonda.com. I have an ebook too. Remember that I write for fun only. It has nothing to do with my practice. Take care and have a nice weekend.

Skizotypical Personality (warning some of the psychology notes may be disturbing to some)

Schizotypal Personality A pervasive pattern of social and interpersonal deficits marked by acute discomfort with a reduced capacity for close relationships as well as by cognitive or perceptual distortions and eccentricities of behaviors beginning by early adulthood. ideas of reference (excluding delusions of reference) eg. someone talking about him or her on the subway unlikely but possible. odd beliefs or magical thinking that influences behavior and is inconsistent with subcultural norms (eg superstitiousness, belief in clairvoyance, telepathy, or sixth sense. In kids and teens bizarre fantasies preoccupations). unusual perceptual experiences including bodily illusions (eg. feels arms are moving when they are by side). Odd thinking and speech (eg vague non-circumstantial, metaphorical, over elaborate or stereotypical. Talking around the matter. suspiciousness or paranoid. inappropriate or constricted affect. Behavior or appearance that is odd, eccentric or peculiar. Lack of close friends or confidants other than first degree relations. Excessive social anxiety that does not diminish with familiarity and tends to be associated with paranoid fears rather than negative judgements about self. Case Study: Obsessive Compulsive - Story of medical student, slightly above intelligence - A - student from studying with only four to two hours of sleep and therefore became delusional. He had promised his father at his death bed to become a physician which was his father’s wish. He couldn’t manage the grades, even though he had the grades to become a pharmacist and this was encouraged by his psychologist, due to his culture and promise to his father, he felt he had to succeed and become a physician. Sadly, this person ended up on the streets downtown. Case Study: Patient assaulted child aged 12, put child’s hand on stove and made her child drink her own urine. Patient and mother: intelligent accountant, no previous disorder and well educated at a renowned university in Toronto. Had developed her own religion and scriptures. Took bits and pieces from organized religion. Her daughter was obese and mom wanted her to lose weight. Child rebelled. Mother looked at her own books and felt this was the remedy. She did not want to hurt her child. Schizoid - one in which individual has aversion of being with people (not avoidant - they are scared of being rejected) - no desire of having personal contact. Question: Could you be happy never having sexual contact with anyone? Schizoid thinks that being that close to someone is revolting. If talk to them, never make receptacle gestures. Never seem too happy/sad. On occasion may be angry. Almost never has friends except for family members. It is like they like it. It never comes to the attention of mental health professionals. This is under researched construct and identity. Prof maybe saw two or three in entire career. These people don’t even want to be in the same room. Not a typical schizoid personality - a hermit perhaps, some street people. Patient - odd appearance - dress strangely, out of fashion with flair, will dress awfully poorly wearing things that don’t match - out of style for 20 years. In a particular mental health hospital there is a tendency to have ex patients in the staff cafeteria. One was told to leave and he left picking up the branch of a tree and began smashing headlights in the parking lot. He had poor tolerance for being in the same room with anyone. You could talk to him for about five seconds. In this case study the psychologist slowly build a report with him. The patient was extremely talented as an artist. He couldn’t make a living however because he could not stand contact with people. He had lived in a refrigerator box with a pet racoon in a forested park in Toronto. He did not like the police because he was arrested for panhandling and reported that the police had beaten him up. He showed the damage to his body and his rib cage had caved. He told prof that his father would pimp him and his sister at four or five years of age and sell their services to men visiting urinals at a bus station. He said that if he ever saw his father again, he would kill him. He had only visited him mom for perhaps ten minutes.

Honour Killing, Cultural Differences, awareness

Last night I watched a documentary that touched my heart. It is a Fuuse Media International 2012 film titled Banaz: An Honour Killing which was filmed in Britain. I recommend it because though this is one woman’s story, there are many like her. Banaz, as a teen was married off to a man ten years older, who abused her emotionally, physically and sexually. She escaped him several times, went to the Police several times, who failed to help her and she went to her family who eventually killed her. You see she brought them dishonour. She fell in love with a man who they did not approve of. She was disobedient to her husband. She was too independent. Her older sister escaped death because after she was physically attacked by her brother in a park, she fled her family and remains in hiding, as does her younger sister’s boyfriend. In our Western world this seems absurd. Perhaps that is why the police initially failed her. Her older sister testified against her family and I admire her for it. In the end it was a team led by a policewoman who doggedly ensured that everyone responsible for Banaz’s death including her father was brought to justice, also two who had escaped to their own Kurdish country. With the authorities there regardless of a high ranking police officer protecting his brother, they successfully brought them back. Now, all five are in prison for life. It was determined that 50 people were involved in her death in someway or another. No one claimed to know anything and everyone denied any wrong doing. It is the lead policewoman who visits Banaz’s grave. The Police became her family in death. As a result of this case, nine police officers who could have helped Banaz were“criticized” for not doing so. Subsequently, as a result of an investigation into the way this was dealt with the two police forces where the nine were from began honour killing awareness training. I was not surprised to hear that in circles there is a fear of being considered racists that prohibits proper action in these matters. In Britain there is one honour killing very four weeks and it is believed that the figures are much greater. This documentary is very significant to me because even before being a therapist it was brought to my attention that we have the same problems here though I rarely hear of it publicly. There is no doubt in my mind that people fear being called racists. I was called a racist once and I was so stunned and surprised that I didn’t really respond to it. I was talking in class (in high school) about a river being polluted in the middle east and unsafe for people to swim in. It pertained to what we were studying and I was providing an example. One male became very angry at me and told me that my statement was racist. I remember the teacher going to him and talking to him trying to have him re-think what was said. It was actually a fact that the river was polluted, and he slowly agreed with the teacher that my statement was not racist. However, he never apologized though he never verbalized his anger towards me again. Another time, again in high school we were conducting a group play and I was the female in the Romantic era seated and the male chosen to woe me was directed to hold my hand and kneel before me. He couldn’t he said because of his religion. He would have to be betrothed to me. I was not a willing party. They had to find another boy willing to hold my hand and kneel before me. That was not difficult. I attended one seminar where we had spokeswomen talk about the slavery of women right here at home. They were all volunteers and they were educating the police in these matters. I have been approached by one particular person who expressed concerns about a particular group of offenders who gang raped young women and they would refuse to report it to the police because they were convinced that the police were worse that the rapists. Why? Because that is what the rapists told them. I advised the informant on what options were available to educate and eliminate fear of the police who are trying to protect them. I have been told by students who are educated that they come from families who arrange weddings and their entire futures. They are not happy about it but feel that they have no choice. I have been informed by women who love men not found acceptable by their families that they are watched by family member and the community and there is no one they can trust. They fear getting the help they need because they are from powerful and wealthy families who buy the police in their respective countries and they believe they will get the information from our own police via public relations. I have had to rethink my belief system throughout the years and all this before becoming a therapist. So watching this documentary did touch my heart because I was one of those people who did not recognize how severe these problems are right here at home. Though, I must admit I have never been one to disregard any concern brought my way. I have spoken to young men from very wealthy families who have fallen in love with women below their status which means it is unthinkable about ever marrying them. I have even foolishly offered to speak to their fathers. It has all been a learning experience about different cultures, so unlike my own. I have been so fortunate to have been brought to this country as a baby, to have been educated here, to have been a naturalized citizen here, to have had two full careers here and to be on my third. I have always had equal pay to men because of the occupations I have chosen. I have been raised to believe, and I do, that I can be who ever I want to be and to accomplish whatever I want to. I understand the impact of cultural differences but I would like to tell any of you living in Canada who are not free for whatever reason to listen up. Do not fear getting help if you are in a situation where you are being abused at any level. Do not tolerate it or allow people to control you for any reason. If the person who is abusing you is in a position of power, he or she will not be so once this is known. There are good people in every country in the world and there are the fanatics, the extremists, the rapists and the destroyers of good in every part of the world. Women, children, the elderly and animals are vulnerable and are too often abused or killed. There is a difference between culture and religion and often the two are intertwined in the minds of those who do not know, but we should know the difference in order to protect not only our own rights but the rights of those being controlled and abused. In Canada there are choices, you can cover yourself from the top of your head to the bottom of your leg if you wish and I stress, if it is your wish. You can also require to wear the minimum, if you wish. It should also be remembered that women have the right to have sexual pleasure and the act of having any kind of surgery to remove that pleasure should never be entertained. We need to be aware that women internalize the cultures within their own, and often contribute to the destruction of young women’s freedoms, including their own children. We need to remember that our focus in Canada depends on the freedoms of all people and we need to remember and to educate ourselves that there are problems that need to be understood and addressed. We cannot afford to fear being called a racist as a means of control. We need to protect the vulnerable and incarcerate those responsible. We need to educate ourselves and our children so that the next generation can move towards being the best that they can be both women and men equally. We should not tolerate unstable men who promote violence against women. As a Canadian who has always worked along side of men, I can tell you that we have great men in our country. I know there are great men in every country. Too often they are killed because of their education and belief that women are equal. We need to ensure that our own rights are protected and open our arms to the world who need our help while keeping our eyes open at the same time. What do you think?

Silva Redigonda « Find a Therapist

Silva Redigonda « Find a Therapist

Silva Redigonda « Find a Therapist

Silva Redigonda « Find a Therapist

It has been busy and will not be doing too much today!

The OAMFT three day event was cancelled due to lack of people wanting to attend but we did have one day of networking. There has been a decrease of 10% membership and so again with another association the talk was about what they can do for us. It was a great day and I sat with chums from grad school who I actually see once a year at the conference. I did have fun but did not really learn anything. I need to learn. Funds are low and since I did have a wonderful suite, jacuzzi, two large screen tv's in each room and a separate shower etc....with mandatory starbucks coffee to boot, I did not hesitate to donate when someone mentioned it. So many things were booked for the conference and it still had to be paid for so to ensure people would come, it was free. That is rather sad, but I understand to be expected at conferences opened to the world. Trauma is of great interest to me and I want to always be up to date with it so I learned about another avenue I can take. As part of the college, I need to have 40 hours of education every two years. I am also keeping track of my hours and should be doing that for the books and research I do on my own, so that is something I should keep in mind. I do record each seminar; conference I now go to. I do not realize how much I do until I see it listed in hours and I have to stop taking that time for granted and record all. I definitely had me time and I count that as a mini vacation. I only stayed the one night regrettably due to my pets having separation anxiety. So, the final banquet was finished about 7:30 pm and though tempted to stay, I drove home much to the happiness of all. Me time is a priority and I do take it when ever I can. Yesterday, I attended the FSNA meeting which is held twice annually. I was late getting there due to traffic, parking and congestion downtown. I normally leave much earlier but I had other things to do since I have no hot water at home. Hot water and a new dryer will be arriving tomorrow hopefully. Heating water can be consuming and I am glad I am living in this era. The vegetarian food was mostly gone but someone found me two bites worth and I piled cheese on my plate with a few treats. Oh, well, mia culpa. I did get one free pedometer. Now I have two to lose. I was sworn in again for another two years as Assistant Benefits Officer with the Executive Board. Once again, I read out about inteqrity etc....I shall be......I will be so ethical by the end of all this. If you are a retired Public Servant with the Federal Government please join us. There has been a big change with people from the National Executive resigning but I am hopeful for positive change. We have a new electee who is a Judge and that is what we need as well to help each other. I found a similar request of what can we do for you? What would you like to see from us? There is also name changes. It is now SAGE, rather than FSNA. I have found a lot of consistency in all my associations regarding what we want and how to get there, name changes etc......The public is feeling their pockets emptying too much and so are becoming more discriminating in what they want to pay for and which associations they wish to belong to. FSNA is also increasing their memberships but it is no where near the therapy side of the house. At the meeting with OAMFT they were saying that the average member pays about 1500, 1600 a year annually and so that tells me I am spending over two grand a year to do my work and that is only for associations and insurance. Have I decided what I am going to drop? No. I have decided to give my self three to four years to make that decision. However, I cannot take on anything new without dropping one existing association. I have friends who have gone in different directions and I just love seeing them and catching up. Everyone is scattered once agin and busy and so it is difficult to see each other. Again, at OAMFT I notice some disconnect from those living in rural areas. As professionals we should always be up todate with all training and terminology so I wonder how that sometimes gets lost. With todays technology of reaching out everywhere I have to ask why some people do not have up to date information. In the city I suppose we come into contact with so many people and it is common everyday language related to our field that I try to use. I imagine if there is an area where a therapist is alone she or he may somehow be left in the wayside. HOwever, that should be corrected. One of the things that still keep me here is the opportunities that I have, the great universities, the professional development etc.... plus the last house I liked in Niagara Falls had all the toys I liked with a grand pool and family room etc....but it had problems which I am not willing to take on such as water leakage, etc...Now back to the serious side at the Federal Retiree meeting, I mentioned that Via Rail gives 25% off for veterans and military in case there were veterans in the room. Two veterans came to seek me out at the end of the meeting and I was so pleased to be able to give them some information. One told me he joined the military when he was sixteen to go off to war. I couldn't hug him enough. When I joined FSNA there were quite a few veterans and yearly I saw less. I thought there were no more so to see these two elderly men was so endearing for me. So for the most part I have completed all meetings, conferences etc for this month and now I can focus on my clientale base and book, in that order. Next month I shall be attending a seminar with the new law regarding assistant dying and how it affects me as a therapist and pastoral counsellor. I will also be selling my two books and signing at York Unversity, Show case at Central Square for one day, I believe it is the 10th. So, do not hesitate to contact me if you want an appointment for counselling or if you want to buy one of my books. The elections last night was very interesting and I taped some to watch this morning. It seems that change is in the air everywhere. I wonder what that will all mean moving forward. What do you think?

Personality Disorders - psychology notes cont.......from.........

Personality Disorders developmental delay Over 90% of Schizophrenics are never arrested. Why some people come into frequent contact while most never do? - because subset of that population have particular personality traits making it difficult to get along. Personality Disorder - if person has a persistent or enduring collection of traits that interferes with their ability to maintain close relationships or ability to sustain employment or causes them significant subjective distress. Avoidant Personality Disorder - A pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy and hypersensitivity to negative evaluation beginning by early childhood and present in a variety of contexts as indicated by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts as indicated by four or more of the following: 1. Avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact because of fears of criticism, disapproval or rejection. 2. Is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked. 3. Shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed. 4. Is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations - (will go to party if has to, but will not say much). 5. Is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy (similar idea). 6. Views self as socially inept, personally unappealing or inferior to others. 7. is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing. Dependant Disorder. Primary criterion for Dependant Disorder is one up on Avoidant because they have found someone that did not reject them and maybe values them. - can abuse them etc…and will still stay. Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder A pervasive pattern of preoccupations with orderliness, perfectionism and mental and interpersonal control, at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency, beginning by early childhood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four or more of the following: is preoccupied with details, rules, lists, order, organization or schedules to the extent that the major point of the activity is lost. shows perfectionism that interferes with task completion (eg. is unable to complete a project because his/her own overly strict standards are not met). is excessively devoted to work and productivity to the exclusion of leisure activities and friendships (not accounted for by obvious economic necessity). is overconscientious, scrupulous and inflexible about matters of morality, ethics, or values (not accounted for by cultural or religious identification. is unable to discard worn out or worthless objects even when they have no sentimental value. is reluctant to delegate tasks or to work with others unless they submit to exactly his or her way of doing things. adopts a miserly spending style toward both self and others. Money is viewed as something to be hoarded for future catastrophes. shows rigidity and stubbornness. To be continued with Schizotypical Personality

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!

Yesterday afternoon as I finished my day at the office, I returned home and decided to do my shopping for Thanksgiving. Needless to say I have a lot of treats (so much for healthy food). I looked around me and was thankful that I have the opportunity to live in a city that is so multi-cultural. There is so much to gain in such a diverse culture - great food as well. So, I just want to say Happy Thanksgiving! Instead of thinking today what you do not have in your life, why not take a moment to think what you do have. What do you think? I can hear you.................. I wish you a wonderful weekend.

Update

It has been busy as usual and I cannot believe that I have turned on the furnace. Since my dryer has died, I have to eventually shop for a new one, but first I should put the hard top on my car. I have finally completed reading two books. I recommend Froma Walsh's "Strenghening Family Resilience." The book is recommended for therapists, however, I think that is a very easy and basic read for the public who want to understand each other so they can move and grow in relationships. The other book I read for pleasure is Ashley Judd, the actress' biography. Yes, you can have two careers or more if you want. It is always amazing to me how people think that they can dictate to others how they should live their lives. I had no idea she was so interested in such important causes and an advocate for them. You need to read the books for more. I have returned to my own book and realized that I already wrote 130 pages. I am beginning from Chapter One, ensuring that the teaser in my second book is the same as my first draft. I made a few changes in my draft and am placing my clues, characters and points on my brand new white board. I realize that I would like to have an accent wall as a blackboard or whiteboard because I think I will need to have more space. However, I do not think that would be a good selling feature. Friday I went to what I thought was the assistant dying conference but I mistook the months. That will be held next month at the same time. It was great to network and I learned that Niagara may be underserviced though my fees may be a problem. I take my time for any big move and may just stay where I am. I joined a club with a big pool so that desire to have my own pool may have diminished, naught! I noticed that they took the availability for a mass to be said at one hospital away and I have to ponder why any hospital would take away a Catholic mass which would be very important for people who are suffering so much. I saw the benefits of a chapel with religious services for people who are sick; dying and their families. I find this somewhat disturbing. Even at Disney World I got to go to mass at one of the hotels. The conference wasn't about that however, I learned the tidbits from networking which is very beneficial. All of Ontario got together with different Satellite locations from where we were. It became very evident for me that those working from remote areas do not have the same accessabitly to the benefits of education and updates I have here in Toronto. That is a constant, it seems. I was asked again to volunteer for a fund raising by making some sessions of psychotherapy for free as a prize. I am checking into the ethics of that. I haven't had that one before. I must have volunteer me stamped somewhere on my body. As I look outside my window, I see how gloomy it is, but my interior space is nice and pleasant. I am having a good time with my life. So, my next few entries will be about Personality disorders from my psychology class. I always write my notes (did you know that it is more effective in retaining memory than typing it?). I am almost at the end of one note book, so then I will discard it and just keep my notes on usb and on the internet if I ever want to. I am also pondering placing my books in some bookstores here in Toronto. I won't make any money doing that, however, I need to consider it to get Book Two out there. So far with both books, book one is selling more than previous years and book two which I thought would be very powerful is not quite gaining interest. So, I have to explore more options. I wrote a lot more but my computer froze and it is now lost so I shall leave you by saying: try to balance your life and your relationships, gravitate towards nice people who fulfill you and are kind. What do you think?