Word on the Street - What a beautiful day at the new venue.

I could not have asked for a better day. Though I could not see the waterfront from where I was because it was hidden by tents, I had a clear view of the CN Tower and the condo right next to it which I had seen from within when I was in grad school. The only reason I did not buy it was because of my pets. They love the outdoors too much. What some people will do for their pets. Probably not a wise financial move, because it was a bargain. Sometimes people cannot see beyond an unfurnished place but looking out at the CN tower from one full length side and watching planes land from another with a full view of the water, what more could I ask for? How could I write from there? Easy. Aw......Anyhow, there were many interesting people who stopped at my booth. Some were attracted to my Italian name and they would buy a book. My first book, "Hey Guy Buy Me" was the seller once again. I couldn't believe it though I make more money on that one. I had one guy come to me and complained about the same book. He bought it last year and was hoping for a gem. What he got, he told me was a lot of talk and nothing else beyond the humour (which I don't think he found very funny). Another man came to look at my second book "For love of Country: Military Policewoman" and he wanted to know if it would be better than Eisenhower's biography. Nope I cannot compete with the 34th President. So, he did not buy my book. One guy bought two copies of my first book just because I am Italian born. I really should join an Italian Club. I also had some very nice and interesting people stop by to talk. One had moved to Hamilton to buy his dream home and he offered his opinion about Niagara on the Lake. I won't share that. I always like to hear the perspective of people who are from Toronto living outside the city. There was an American from Maryland who was very upset about our traffic. Join the club. I suggested he complain to the Mayor, saying he likes tourism. Maryland wanted to know if it was the drug etc.....one. "No we have a new one." I replied reserving comments. There were a lot of tourists and I enjoyed having them stop by. I am proud of my city and do like it when people are having fun here. Then there were the activists. No I don't want to sign anything. I don't want to stop any bill. Hey I believe Canada's security is paramount! Whatever it takes. There was a lot of soliciting but how do you control that? I can't even get rid of them when they come to my door. But all in all a wonderful day. My next booksale will be at York University in November. I have to sort out some paperwork and then post it. So, if any of you were there, you did not tell me. Rest assured I had a wonderful day in the sun and at the end of it enjoyed a Pizza with a glass of wine. Nice.

Rejected for writer's grant.

Oh well, I got rejected. No funding for me. No sireeee. I guess they didn't like the opening for "The Internet Murders." At least I tried. I am feeling sick today and so rested much of the day. I am presently sitting in my backyard with one of my pets nearby enjoying the first day of fall in my pj's. Tomorrow I will will re-read a student's paper so I shall be fresh Friday. If a student writes, than I should honour the student by reading and re-reading her papers. It was not too long since I had her experiences and more. So, I am fortunate enough to be able to do this resting thing. How do you take care of yourself when you get a bug? Do you rest? Do you plug on, til you drop? What I do is stretch out, watch movies and rest. I do hope to see some of you on Sunday. Til then take care of yourselves and stay healthy. What do you think?

"Word on the Street" this Sunday at the Harborfront

Well it is that time of the year when I will be at "Word on the Street." This year it will be at the Harbourfront rather than Queen's Park. You will find me at Booth 180, under the sign "Hey Guy Buy Me." I will be signing and selling both of my books. For those of you who do not know, I have a website www.silvaredigonda.com where I have an ebook and mail my second book, For Love of Country: Military Policewoman, as well as my first. I have actually had to put on pause my third book "The Internet Murders." When you love to do two things, you have to balance it. I could easily write more if that is all I was doing, however, I also love to help people and so I give them priority and put my books on hold. I do love reading and movies and story telling. My second book is written much better than my first. I have never really been a business person so this side of the house has been a learning experience. I have always worked in the service for people and has I have grown older, I continue to do this in a more serene fashion. So, do not hesitate to buy my books and I will ship them to you. Check out my site. If you are in Toronto do come and say hello and better still buy a book or two. Remember, my books have nothing to do with my practice. I will eventually write something on psychotherapy and spirituality but for now I like to write for fun only. My first book is very silly and fun which to my surprise some felt it was very therapuetic but remember it was not designed to be so. It is comedy. My second book is written with my heart and soul and I am always interested to hear what people think of it. So enjoy your week, balance your life and do not forget to have fun. If you are in need of therapy do not hesitate to contact me. I do charge 100.00 a fifty minute hour and can no longer make any exceptions due to ethics. However, I do see people weekly, bi-weekly, monthly and sporadically. I also give homework unless someone really hates homework. Mental health is so important, as important as physical health. I do hope that eventually Canada will encorporate mental health as part of benefits for all people. I am associated with some health plans but cannot reveal who they are due to non-disclosure agreements. Why not begin today to start writing about what you think and feel? What happens when you do that? What do you think? Have a great week and don't forget to visit me at the Harbourfront if you are in Toronto. We have a very beautiful city. silva

Grief

Dr William Hoy, clinical faculty with Medical Humanities at Baylor University at Waco (yes I think that is the place) Texas among many other qualifications & associations. He has published books and journals which you should find on line if you are interested. His definitions of bereavement and complicated grief are the same as I have studied: Bereavement: reconstructs meaning to refocus life after significant loss. Complicated Grief: exists when the bereaved person persistently organizes life around the loss. This results in impairment of function to a clinically- significant degree. During this lecture it was discussed that there are people and families who experience high levels of disruption (secondary losses) following a death, including serious economic reversals. In the Harvard Child Bereavement Study, surviving parents who experienced the largest number of life-changing events following the death of their spouse had the highest levels of depression and their children also functioned less well over the two year follow-up (Worden, 1996 cited in Worden, 2009). Dr Hoy reported that American belief in God is 93%. Of 40% of people who had no religion, not one believed that their child had ceased to exist. Dr Hoy spoke of a Toronto, Vancouver and USA joint research study and found that 84% of patients said yes, regarding wanting to talk about faith and praying with their physician. 15% suffer from complicated grief; Impairment of function to a significant degree. Dr Hoy’s books include: Guiding People through Grief and Road to Emmaus. His newest book, Do Funerals Matter? The Purpose and Practice of Death Rituals in Global Perspective (Routledge, 2013). Dr Hoy spoke of differences among cultures when it comes to funerals and how funerals impact us and provide closure. I have written before about attending lectures where physicians here in Toronto actually pray with their patients before surgery. I do provide grief therapy and take names for group grief therapy which I believe is very beneficial for people without a good support system. However, if someone is suffering from complicated grief or someone is not able to divide their time equally with other clients because they are so focused on their own pain, than group therapy is not possible as it takes away from the group. For people interested in group or individual therapy please to not hesitate to contact me.

Enjoying these last days of summer

I have been slowing down from the millions or minions of things I have to do and having mini vacations. I have been enjoying my home more, my friends more and my pets more. I have been bathing myself in sun - a bit too much. I have joined a Health Club which I joined twice before and then stopped for some reason or another. I have been enjoying swimming lengths. I have also found it to be very therapeutic as I swim and watch the gardens outside and then go out to the terrace and have a late lunch or early supper and watching birds bathing themselves in the fountain. It is a place I used to enjoy bringing my mom to because it pleased her so. I encourage all of you to find that piece of heaven each day where you can rest, re-energize and return to the work force feeling refreshed. You are also more productive. I have returned to the Health Club primarily to get physically fit. Since grad school, I have been seated much to much. I had forgotten how much I really love to swim. I used to be a lifeguard in my teenage years which I believe I mention in my second book. I had one instructor who was teaching a woman to swim, focus on me suddenly and then telling his student to watch my breathing and that it was relaxed. Then stupid me blurts out that I hadn't swam in a year. Where is my humility, I pondered later while drinking my cappuchino in the garden. Well, yes it is true that I had not swam for a year, and that was just one night, but is that encouraging for someone who is trying to learn? No - it is not. So, after that when someone comments that I swim effortlessly and I make it look easy, I just say anyone learn and leave it like that. I learned from the life guard. I saw a female lifeguard give a tissue to a woman in the water who wanted to blow her nose. I was surprised that the woman did not leave the pool to do so. As it was the female life guard provided the tissue to her and the woman blew her nose and gave the used tissue back. The guard disposed of it and then washed her hands in the pool. That certainly wasn't in my job description and neither I am sure it is in hers. She did not seemed phased by it at all, as if it was routine. I think we can all put in a bit more effort at being kinder to people when they are working. I have decided to actually spend some money to advertise and am considering placing some of my books in the bookstores. I will lose money doing that but I want people to read my books. I have also began reading a bit more after swimming. I like routine even though I am always, altering it according to priorities. Now I have one of my pets monopolizing my attention. I have to go before he sits on the key pad. What do you think? How do you relax?

Home — OAMFT

Home — OAMFT

Suicide

Uof T magazine, summer 2015, page 23, reports that people who survive a first attempt by poisoning are 42 times more likely to kill themselves by poisoning eventually, compared to the average person. If you are feeling suicidal get some help. More elderly men in Canada commit suicide than any other group. It is never to late to get help. I can speak a lot more on this topic but not today.

9/11

To all those who have loved ones who died on that sad day, to all their families, to all the survivors, to all who helped that day, my heartfelt wishes for peace.

China is now telling pet owners to get rid of their pets in a district, or they shall be killed. Really?

I sometimes shake my head when I hear the news but do so now daily, hear the news that is. Sometimes I don't talk about certain things because I don't want the culprits to get the attention they seek, which is mainly from men who hate women and wish them harm. However, I have spoken about China before. Did you know that google is not allowed in China? People forget that it is a communist country. I will once again try not to buy anything from China. How can I feel good buying products from a country which exploits and controls its people, place limits, topples churches and now wants to go on a killing spree for pet owners. Katrina did something where we learned from them. Civilized countries and yes I will use the "awful" word civilized, learned that pet owners stayed and died with their pets rather than being rescued. Toronto certainly allows pet owners and their pets to go to emergency shelters, after Katrina, when there is an emergency situation as when we had a power failure and it was winter. I mentioned the last time I talked about China when it was toppling Churches that a business man was telling us that we should mind our own business. God forbid if it upsets his business. Our Prime Minister talked about values and the people or words to that effect which clearly indicated he was opposed to this. So, I shall once again not buy anything that comes from China because I do not like how they treat their people. I certainly do not like how limited we are becoming in what we can buy or more precisely where it is from. There are very good people living in China and many come here to make it their home. They want to have more children than they are allowed in China, they want to taste freedom. So, think about the benefits you have in your country. If you had the opportunity to live anywhere, where would it be? What do you think?

Pope Francis (Pastoral)

As you know by now, I tape everything I want to watch in advance. Then I normally watch it in segments. One of the weekly shows I tape is 20/20. Last week it was about Pope Francis. I was very interested and I watched it in segments, allowing it to penetrate and for me to discern. It was about poverty and the States. Our Pope and I will call him ours, because he is mine and I believe he belongs to the world. He has a great compassion for the poor. From the Vatican and with todays technology he was able to enter places in the States where he could communicate personally with people who had suffered. The impact he had on these people who spoke to him of their suffering was powerful. More than once I shed a tear in this process. There was a single mom with two children who had just found an apartment for the first time after living in shelters for so long. There was a youth, seventeen I believe who was supporting his entire family because his father was ill. This youth lost his scholarship when it was learned that they were not legal in the States. They had escaped Mexico. I do hope I have this all right because I don’t want to minimize the show or distract from it. What the most powerful aspect for me was watching the transformation of these suffering souls as the Pope validated their importance. I worry about this Pope more than the others. I worried about Obama as President more than the others. Every time I see a leader who is different, who brings a new perspective that is positive, I feel a bit of a concern because I know that they face new challenges. My focus is the Pope and Religion here. The Pope has many enemies. He has the Mafia who have a twisted distorted view of Catholicism. They forget that killing and terrorizing is not sanctioned. He has other Catholics too who do not agree with his views. Yet, the Pope is only preaching what it is to be a Catholic. Catholicism is about embracing, justice for others, sustaining others etc….Catholicism should be about helping. Too often I see disdain and criticism. Too often I see hate. I am not perfect either and remember going to my school one day and there was a homeless man sleeping outside my building and I flinched. I had disdain and concern. I had not noticed that it was a sculpture of a homeless man. I had not known that it had been turned down to display from every Religious Institution at the University but my own. After that I would sit beside the homeless man and discern. It forced me to look at myself. I love going to the States which has come to a halt after adopting my previously abused animals. What I always did when driving down there is taking detours off the main highway to see the landscape and with that I saw people and with that I saw a state of poverty I have never quite seen in Canada. I know we have it here and as I watch the news and see how people are now living in Ontario Housing, I realize how shameful it is becoming here. Our countries are rich and there should not be one person in either of our countries who do not have a clean place to live, good meals and opportunity for growth. We are failing our poor. We are trapping our poor. What the Pope did for me is make me proud of him. He teaches by example. I do not normally advertise I am a Catholic because I help so many people of so many religions and quite a few hate Catholics. As a Pastoral Counsellor Specialist which is one of my qualifications I deal with the spirituality and concerns of all people. They come from different religions or none. I have butted heads with some of my own when I say that there should be a coma after spirituality as an option, rather than integration. But, I also know that it is a question of interpretation. We may mean the same thing but I am coming from the perspective of a private practice where I deal with all kinds of people, trauma, couples, relationships, addictions etc…Some suffer because of their experiences with religion, some are confused about their religion, some stay in abusive relationships because of their perspective of religions. Ministers have told them that God wants them together, so they believe that God sanctions the beatings, etc…Ministers have all to often abused and because of this the religion is blamed rather than the man or woman. There is all to often a distortion of religion. People often commit horrendous acts and terrorism in the name of God. All this has nothing to do with God. All this has to do with their own twisted distortions. There is no room for hate for God. When I interned at a hospital often I would hear someone tell me how much they hate Catholics. I never took it personally. I was interested in why. What I heard was usually valid but it had nothing to do with being a Catholic, it had everything to do with being hateful and ignorant. These people exist everywhere but there is hope for them. There has to be or this vicious cycle will continue. As I look at our world I continue to have hope. There are so many good people in it. I believe that the majority of people are good. Often this is skewed from people who work with and only see the bad. I remember a Priest and Professor telling me how in the Philippines, in the poorest part, a Priest was badly beaten by Catholics. It was a Muslim who carried the Priest home and eased him back to health. I remember another Priest and friend tell me how when working in South America another Priest and friend of his was killed after he protested for the release of two young men who were scheduled to be killed. He succeeded, they were released and he was killed in kind. What did the mother of one of the youths say? She said it was his job. I saw how my Priest friend suffered and told him that he should write a book. He agreed but never did. He is resting with God now and his friends. There is so much I can share but I am not here to write a book. Perhaps in the future I will write one about Spirituality and Religion but not today. As you know I write for fun, right now, not to the pleasure of everyone. But after watching the program with the Pope capturing my heart all over again, I have re-examined myself. Instead of thinking how much I need to pay off this or that, I think of how much I have. I have a home that is bigger than I need, though much less than those I know. I can eat to my hearts content. I am healthy. I have an education that no one can take away. I have respect from my community. I have an office and private practice. I have so much when I really think about it. Ok, so my home is old and need of care and my car is old and should be replaced but that is not what I should be dwelling on. Therefore, I thank God that I have and have had the life I have. So, please I ask everyone today pray for Pope Francis because we really need him so we can all decide to be better people, including Catholics who have fallen in the wayside. I believe that we can end this cycle of hate and wars and terrorism and poverty. All people should be validated. What we are doing is not working so this is time to change. I hope I have touched one of you today. The Pope asked Americans to pray for him, but I ask it from world.

Cheap way to travel in the summer

Did you know you can find great deals when you travel by checking out the universities in the summer when students are away at play or work? Apparently according to Sage, summer 2015, you can stay in the heart of downtown Montreal from $49. a night for a single dorm-style room with shared bathroom to 119.00 a night for a room at the four star Citadelle, a converted Marriott on Sherbrooks Street West. This is kept so quiet that even students don’t know. Big hotels get upset if they know there are great deals apparently. You know that great hall in Harry Potter, why not stay at Oxford and take a look at Keble College. What do you think?

Self care is important - Have fun this holiday weekend

I did work this long weekend but it was very limited because the focus was fun and a few other minor details. It is lots of swimming, a bit of Starbucks coffee (I am still waiting for the one near me to open, as promised. Summer is almost over guys) and sailing with a few lunches thrown in here and there. I went to the ex as well and that is something I recommend for all tourists. Don't forget to see "Show Dogs" and the Ice Show. I must admit I have been enjoying my summer and soon it will be serious work, serious conferences and serious fun. Enough of being serious. I have still to return to my third book because life happens, but my desk and white board is waiting. I have different coloured pens ready to list my clues. I think I shall begin from the start and this time record my clues and characters a bit differently. It is all in my head right now and scattered on notes. Will I need more than one board? Maybe, but I see that they are still at Costco. A bit more reading for one of my volunteer positions to advance a student and a bit of catch up for some more paperwork and still I should be preparing a proposal for one of my books, mainly my second but thinking of a way to squeeze in my number 1 and then it is back to my book. I like to write when I am fresh as soon as I wake up. My brain is more alert then and so if I am doing other important stuff, then well I have to give it priority. But, enough of work and hobbies. It is time to enjoy my weekend. I suggest you do the same. A balance of work and play is so important. If you have struggles in your life do not hesitate to contact me. Oh, I have been asked to be a regular on some internet radio show. Though I have said that I will do no more volunteer work numerous times, I cannot say no to a friend, nor to where veterans are concerned. So sometimes, situations change and then we need to re-think our priorties. What do you think? Have fun guys.

Word On The Street coming where I shall be signing and selling my books. Why not come and visit? 27 September 15! & back to gym update

I cannot believe how fast my life is racing. I barely blink and summer is over though our Mayor keeps thinking it is mid summer. It must be the hot weather. Anyhow, with the ending of summer comes "Word On The Street". This year it will be held at the Harbour Front. I think it is a wonderful location since it is one of my favorite spots in Toronto. I will be at Booth 180, East of the Amazon.ca Best Sellers. Note that I said East (from) of Best sellers. So, if I know you please bring me coffee, black, no sugar. Parking will probably cost a fortune. I have been coming to this event since I wrote, "Hey Guy Buy Me." I noticed at my last street sale that people were buying my first book rather than my second. It could be the cost. However, I make more money selling Hey Guy Buy Me than my second which I don't really break even since I fired my first editor and returned to my publisher. I like her because I trust her and she is honest so there are no surprises. I would love to have my books in stores but it is too costly. Last night I had a dream that I was given a writers grant and I was so excited as I could then afford to have my books sent to book stores. Oh well, it is nice to dream and I didn't realize that I was so excited about having that happen. Our dreams do bring out what lays below the surface. Oh well, grant or no grant, I can still write what I like and find an audience. I have my two fans and so I am sure that I shall sell them each a copy of my second book. If it took ten years for Stephen King's son to be recognized as a writer (without letting on who he is) it should take me 20. I am ok with that because I do love what I do. I have spent most of my summer replanning my businesses, my advertizing, my professional development. I really like what I am doing. Actually, I really love what I am doing and feel that it is a gift that I can be doing it. I have such a joy of life as I ponder what I can do next. I have also since my trip to Montreal returned to the gym. While in Montreal, my cousin has a huge mirror in the bedroom that becomes mine when I am there. I noticed meat where I had not noticed it before and wondered who was inhabiting my body. At home I have a small mirror that focuses on my face so I can scream each year on my birthday and then get over it. I am getting older, like fine wine. However, for the last seven years I have been sitting and sitting and sitting. I sit when I type on my computer which monopolizes a lot of my time and I certainly sit with my clients. Can you imagine me standing and hovering over people? Of course not! Career kill! So, though most of my life has been spent outdoors and moving, when school became full time and my third career became a reality, I sat and sat and sat, so viola, excuse my French, I saw a body that I did not recognize. So, it is back to the Health Club and of course as I was once told, "The bodi, it does not forgit." And, as my neighbour likes to say, "eegiot" Yes, I have been. I have been so focused about getting my businesses on board that I have forgotten the importance of movement. So, it is a real treat for me because I love the water and I do like to exercise. I have tried to stop meeting too many people at bakeries for get togethers and I have stopped storing too many treats. Now, do not get the wrong idea. I do love myself very much. I do not think I look awful. I think I am very attractive especially for my age like fine wine. So, for you people who may have a bad impression of your bodies, get a full length mirror and tell yourself while in the nude how beautiful you look each day. Remember to eat well and exercise moderately to keep healthy. Spend time treating yourself. You deserve it. So come and visit me at the Harbour front on the last Sunday of September and buy one of my books, if you haven't already. Have a nice week.