Dysthymic Disorder

Dysthymic Disorder Depressed mood for most of the day, more days than not for at least two years - kids,teens - irritable mood maybe and duration one year. B. Presence, while depressed of 2 or more of following: Poor appetite or over eating. Insomnia or hypersomnia. Low energy or fatigue Low self esteem. Poor concentration or difficulty making decisions Feeling of hopelessness.

Post Traumatic Strss Disorder - Scarborough Public Forum

I awoke yesterday to windows I could see through. The freeze was over. I had my coffee and then I went out to start my car. My baby started with barely a hiccup. Just in time. I was running out of vegetables and fruit. I managed to drive out of the driveway carefully and then got my baby used to being on the road again. I was quite pleased because there was a Public Forum on PTSD at the Scarborough Civic Centre and I was not sure if I was going to be able to go. The TTC was out of the question. It was too far and I do not like walking around in the darkness in areas of town I do not know. Scarborough I know only by reputation and I have to admit I was quite aware of it when I stopped at Tim Horton’s to be leared at by a creepy old man and by another creepy young man. It is beyond me how someone can just sit there and stare at you with creepy stare. My biases were coming true. I sat beside a man who was coughing and talking loudly to himself. The coughing was disturbing and now I know why I found an empty seat. It was not a pleasant experience and I was glad my baby was not too far away. I looked around me in the packed Tim’s and also saw students and segments of families. The cougher left and I relaxed. I had ordered soup again, my staple food for when I am sick. I guess I like it now when it is cold out, though it was warm compared to the freeze. I didn’t even bother covering my head. I left and was happy to see my baby. It was frustrating trying to find parking at the Civic Centre, because I wasn’t sure which one it was in the mass of buildings. I saw a different side to Scarborough, a new side, a quite beautiful side. The public architectures were inviting to me. They were modern, strong, and bold with windows allowing the sun in. Once I found parking, I tried to get into the building, which was another challenge. The outside was very well lit and there were people skating on a nice, unexpected arena. I regretted getting rid of my skates. Once I was let inside by a woman walking by the interior of the building, I was warmly welcomed by security and the outdoors had come in. The area was spacious and I could only imagine the sun during the day reflecting within. There wasn’t as many people in the room as I had expected and I had to remind myself that this was not meant for therapists, but for a particular public. I did not advertise the event, because of who had informed me of it. I did not learn anything new about PTSD. The psychiatrist had a slide show and one part which I wrote down exactly but my pet is sleeping on now and so I will not disturb her, indicated that 75 % of the population has experienced trauma. The reference was not cited which I found a tad annoying because I always like to know how the research was conducted. I am used to percentages being thrown at me. What I did learn during the evening however, how strong a community Scarborough is. There were also a few representatives from different emergency response personnel and I was impressed by their concern for the men and women they work with. I also saw a segment of the population depict concern for people who they know who suffer and wanted to know how to help them. There was also the press there apparently and once it was announced and they were asked to be mindful if someone did not want to share their stories outside the forum that it would be respected. The man behind me nodded solemnly and sincerely. That was nice to see and I looked down at his pad and wondered if that was short hand or another language. I did approach a few people but was mindful that I really wasn’t invited as a therapist. There were a few people who asked questions about themselves and what they suffered and it was clear to me that they should see someone to talk about that. What the event clarified for me, more so, is that there is a need for OHIP to cover mental health outside the realm of the hospitals. I wondered why I haven’t been learning anything new lately. I had to reflect with this because I need to grow as a therapist. Psychology was always repetitious. That is how it was instilled within me. The psychiatrist did say that within the next five years there will be more effective drugs and some would be specific for PTSD. I pondered what my practise has been like, what has my practicum been like. I have worked with people who have sustained physical, sexual, financial, and emotional abuse. Some have been traumatized numerous times and sometimes by more than a few at the same time. I have worked with adults who have suffered at the hands of pedophiles who are still walking out there unnoticed. I have worked with people dying, suffering with cancer and HIV. I have worked with people suffering from grief and complicated grief. I have worked with people with disabilities and who have suffered because they have felt that they were not valued. I have worked with people suffering from sexual, alcohol and gambling addiction. I have worked with other addictions that were denied. I have worked with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Schizophrenia etc…..I have learned so much from my clients. I have also learned how they have felt failed by the system. I have learned from the politics and I have learned from Insurance Companies who want to know too much about their clients which should be Confidential. There is much that needs to be done for people who are suffering. So I am not too worried that I did not learn anything particularly new about PTSD, because I did learn from the suffering audience. In my own experience I have found that the sooner a person finds a therapist after a traumatic experience, the sooner the person is able to heal. The longer someone suffers, the longer a person has found an unhealthy coping mechanism, and the longer it takes to deal with not only the trauma but the addictions. I find that each person who comes to me with their stories needs to find some normality to what has happened. They need validation and they need to be believed. With some, their spirituality is very important and that cannot be ignored. There is no one remedy. Each person is different with a different history, a different support system, a different pain. Every person who comes to me is an individual. Think of a canvas. It is void, but slowly a picture is painted with different colours and tones etc….Slowly a vision is seen, a story told. Each is similar to another, but each is also an individual. There are also people out there who do not know that they have a problem. They do not know that something that they have seen has effected them. They do not get help because they are unaware. Then there are those who years later reflect and ask do I have a problem? For those who asked that question last night, I hope they have answered their own question, because that comes from within. I hope that regardless of the answers they were provided with, they seek out help for themselves. What do you think?

Angela Lansbury is wonderful to be in Toronto suffering a cold welcome!

Got you! It is freezing out. Who would want to come here is sub zero temperatures? Angela Lansbury did and I am so grateful. As soon as I heard she was coming I called and rather than ask how much the tickets were, I said I wanted the best seat in the house. For some reason the best seat was in the sixth row, seat 24. What? That is the best seat? "I can pick another day if I can get a better seat." I was assured that the seat was excellent and that I would be able to see all of the facial expressions. I mentioned the poor seating from the other theatre down the road and was assured that in this theatre, I would be much more comfortable. I braved the cold and even took the bus/streetcar since the snow plow had moved snow in front of my drive and it was frozen in place. I am glad that those tax dollars are working for me. As I waited for the bus to come and my body was going into survival mode, I asked a woman who had been there before I came, how long she had waited. “ A long time” she responded. Another with her iPad ready who had just arrived, said it would be there in 45 seconds. I felt relieved. “This must be the longest 45 seconds I have ever waited for” I responded. As soon as the bus arrived, I took the transfer ticket after depositing one my TTC tokens I had bought in bulk last summer for emergencies. This was an emergency. Why else would I take the TTC? I rapidly took off all my layers of clothing knowing I would have to go out again soon and did not want to freeze more so when doing so. I took the adjoining street car at King Street and viola I felt more relaxed. I was promised that the street car would stop right in front of the theatre. That beat trying to find parking any day. As promised the theatre was close enough to the front. I got off and went directly into the theatre. I thought I would have more time to go to Tim’s next door but the Usher told me I could get coffee within and so I did that. I got my coffee and cookie for 5.00. I had managed one piece of toast on the way out of the house since I have been reviewing my second draft of my book and didn’t bother eating. I pace myself at a hundred pages a day. I do hope you buy my book. It is really good, if I say so myself. I will finish off reviewing it after I write this, and if not I will complete it tomorrow. I am on vacation. I have decided to do that more often for self care. Yes, sireeee. So, back to the theatre! I am there being served and I am asked if I would like a lid for my coffee. I respond with a no thank you since I am a polite Canadian. I am than informed that it would be preferred that I take the lid as she would be responsible for me not having a lid. Everyone laughs because I believed I had the option. I take the lid, responding that I am a very obedient person. Everyone nearby chuckles again. It must be that everyone is on vacation this day. I find a corner with a cart tray near the entrance of my “best seat” and place my coat, gloves, scarf etc…on it, and now I am prepared to eat my cookie and drink my sought after coffee, lid and all. Then it begins a grumpy old man is giving the young female usher a hard time because she cannot open the doors for him, it is not the right time. He is mean towards her and it is obvious that she is hurt. I ponder and wonder why people who are retired can still be so focused on time. Maybe he just wants to sit down and give his crankiness a break. Most people are polite and are just excited to be there. Some people are casually dressed like me. I love my blue jeans and it is my staple dress. Others mostly men are dressed in suits. The doors open and I go inside. You can bring your food and coffee. However, you cannot take pictures. I brought my camera all ready for a sibling who wanted me to take a photo. There was no way I was taking a photo with this crowd because they were all good and I did not want to get kicked out. So cell phone off and camera in purse - no pictures. I am obedient. Rather, there was no way I could do it. Eyes were everywhere. I found and sat in my seat and wondered why this was considered the best. I looked up at the bare balcony which had nice woven Captain's chair. As soon as my neighbours sat, the woman made her first comment. These are horrible seats. There is no room. Why would they do this? It is only 20 years old? I did not respond as it was her beau she was speaking to or her brother. Her brother responds that they are going to tear it down anyway. In my mind I was telling her, she should try down the street. That would really get her going! A nice old lady sits on the other side of me and begins coversing with me. She has seasons tickets and states that she does not think she will renew them because she is not so impressed with the shows. I have told her that the last time, I was down the street and the play was horrid. There was so much swearing. She wanted to know the name of it but it had not been worth remembering. Then it happened. A nice looking man right in front of me sat down. I was now staring into a dart board with a big bulls eye in his bald patch. That had happened to me once before in Niagara but this was the best seat in the house. I told the little old lady beside me that I was told I had the best seat. “You do my dear. I do not know how you got it. It is in the centre.” She pointed to the tiny woman beside her. "You are taller dear, see her, she cannot see at all." Then it happened. The show began and I was mesmerized as soon as I saw Angela Lansbury. All the other actors sort of faded when she was on stage. She is a star. I now understand the difference between an actor and a star. A star shines brightly over every thing else and though I recognized the male actor and though they were all quite good, very good in fact when she was on stage, she was the show! The little old lady remarked that she always looks the same. “Timeless” I replied. Intermission came and it gave me enough opportunity to visit the ladies room and buy a 5.00 ice cream bar outside the hallway. I had warmed up by now. I returned to my seat and the little old lady continued to talk about Angela Lansbury. “She will be 90 this year”. Wow, I thought, what is my problem. Where does she get her energy? I want whatever she is eating. The play began once again and every time she was not in a scene I could appreciate the other actors. The maid automatically made me laugh each time, she opened her mouth. Her gestures and deportment was entertaining. They were all good, but as soon as Angela Lansbury came out, they all faded and it was just her on stage. The show ended and out they all came but when Angela Lansbury came out, we all stood up. She looked out at the audience and her face had such a warm glow to it. She seemed so humble to me and kind. That is what I thought as I looked at her. My eyes teared and I was surprised by my emotions. Is this what it means to be a fan? Am I a fan? I have only stood in line for an autograph for Micky Mouse when I was at Disney World. I would have stayed in line for a long time to meet her. I guess I am a fan. I have watched her in her black and white movies with my mom, since she decided what to watch and she would always speak of her when she saw her. We would sit as a family and watch, “Murder she Wrote” I still tape all her old series and every once in a while there is one I have not seen or do not remember seeing and so I watch it again. I realize now that I am typing this that she has always been on the screen since I was a child and she was one of my mother’s favourites. Perhaps that is why my eyes were tearing. In some way she was a bit of home. As I clapped with the others, I did so this time out of respect and not under obligation. It had been a long time since that happened. I hope you get to go see the show. She is worth sitting anywhere and even worth having to rub shoulders because of design and moving bobbing your head about because of a bulls eye in front of your face. As soon as I left the theatre I had a desire to have high tea. It must have been all the Agatha Christie books I have read which reminds me of “Murder She Wrote.” I went to the Hyatt next door, at least I thought it was and asked if High Tea was being served. I was told I had to go to the King Edward. My reply was I had been there. I had and even though it is ok, it was too far to go to in the cold and I prefer the Yorkvilles Hyatt, which a sister hotel I thought I was at. Guess not. There were about three huge travelling buses out front and so I made the mistake of skipping a street car which was not coming and getting to the next one. The cold was blistering. One woman motioned to me to seek shelter behind some tin box. I did that because I am so obedient but it did not help. I saw two men huddled at an insert in the wall and I saw Starbucks but I did not want to miss the street car and so I walked towards the men and asked them to move so I could get warm. Poor guys, they let me in and they moved outward into the cold. I had not meant for them to give up their shelter but I was too cold to care about my manners. It only made me appreciate our men so much more. I was the damsel in distress and I played my part if it meant warming up at all. The street car finally came and I got in barely. Frozen, I took my time to put another token in the whatever you call it. I had not been on the TTC since they have made changes. The previous driver was telling me when I asked about the changes that certain street cars and he named them all have an honour system (I call it that) but you may be asked to provide proof of purchase by the transit police (I call it that). I saw a sign that said 2000.00 fine and I certainly would not want that. However, I always pay anyway so it would have only happened this day when I was freezing and too cold to find the token. But, find it I did. I hate those transfer things but I guess I am going to have to take them from now on. Eventually, they will hit the bus routes. The driver may not remember my pretty face and viola a fine. They were doing that in Austria ages ago. There has to be a better way to keep up with the times. Of course, I miss the bus as soon as I get off the street car and am the only one in the bus shelter trying to stay warm. I could not warm up my core. It soon comes and I am on the bus seated which is a nice change. With the new accordion buses, there is more room. I am swinging my legs in the air because I feel frozen in place. I get off and find my bakery shop and decide I have to cancel my pizza night because there is no way I can get home in this freezing cold. I walk into the shop and am pleased that they have soup. I order my soup, coffee and grilled cheese which is a Portuguese version but I know I am getting a toasted baguette with melted cheese. I speak the language, hey! It happens. The large bowl of delicious soup begins to warm my core. I tell the server it is freezing out and she tells me it will be worse tomorrow. I tell her that nothing will get me to go out in this again, forgetting that I am designated photographer this day and have to go out again. Why do I always get volunteered for these things? I do not volunteer ever, and it still happens. My typing is interrupted by my phone. "Where were you yesterday?" "I went to see Angela Lansbury." My friend responds. We were wondering where you went when we didn't see you. I am going tomorrow. Is it good?" "Wonderful!" I reply. "See you in a couple of hours. They are serving ......" I salivate. What time is it? Again time has sped by. I go back to my computer. Aw, Angela Lansbury. What do you have to do get the opportunity to meet a star? What do people do nowadays? Oh well, it won't happen. Disney World was easy. You just stood in line and waited until you got to see Mickey. I would suffer the cold all over again to see Angela Lansbury. I hope she can keep warm and forgive us the cold embrace!!!!! Long live the Queen! Please Spring come.....................

The Ontario College of Psychotherapy is now supposed to happen in the Spring and I cannot wait. However, people who are not qualified and others are in a panic. The College is to protect you.

I received another email about the fear of the College. I was even asked for financial support. That is not going to happen. Even though I have deleted, blocked etc......I still get emails of concern about the college. When I was studying Psychology in my undergrad, I was shocked as were many other students, when we were informed that anyone can put up a shingle and say we were therapists. A had a colleague of mine tell me that she went to check out a new business down the street from her recently where the owner was claiming to be a psychotherapist. She was also charging quite a sum of money. She was not surprised to find that though the establishment was very posh and sophisticated, the person had no qualifications. Those days are ending and they cannot come soon enough for me. As far as I am concerned everything nowadays should be regulated because there are so many scams nowadays. The public and myself included need to feel safe that when we do spend good money it is going to the person who is qualified whether that is a roofer, medical doctor, electrician etc........The days when one could have a trusting nature is over. So, please, do check out if your therapist is qualified and once the College is in place, everyone will be regulated and it will be much easier to determine if the person helping you should be doing so. What do you think?