New Mayor For Toronto

This should be an interesting four years. Our riding voted for Ford. As I walked to the voting poll I was stopped by a neighbour and asked who I was going to vote for and I said Ford. It was not an easy decision. My neighbour no longer embarrassed of who he had voted for began talking about why he voted for Ford. "Subways, we need subways. We have needed them for a long time." "Yes, I agreed." "What is the problem? Even if they do a few stops every few years to make it more cost effective." I nodded. "He took off that rediculous tax." Yes, I thought. I also thought of the cost of 5cents for each bag he relieved us of. If only he would go to charm school so he could play nice, I thought. Last night I heard a professor on the news speak about the marginalized voting for the Fords. Apparently we have 300,000 poor people living in Toronto. Did 300,000 people who are poor vote? I do not think so. So where did the votes come from. I will be watching this Mayor very closely. It is the first time he has won any election. Would he have won if the people of Toronto didn't want to get rid of a Ford? That is the question. It was difficult for me this time and I had not decided who to vote for until one week before. I don't care for name calling or bullies. HOwever, the day I decided to vote for Ford, I wrote this pasted underneath for my blog. The elections I don’t remember a time when I followed an election so closely in deciding who to vote for. I recall the Jimmy Kimmel show (I hope I spelled it right) saying if the people of Toronto voted for Rob Ford, what does it say for the rest of the politicians in Toronto, or words to that effect. It was said jokingly and I took it that way. However, jokes have a way at tugging at the truth. Why did we vote for Rob Ford? I recall how I was teased at times at the beginning and at other times, people became downright rude after asking who I was going to vote for and I said Rob Ford. When did it happen that people were suddenly chastised for who they voted for in a democratic society? However, Rob’s years in politics was an eye opener for me. It had me examine my city in a new way. I saw reporters who I have always respected turn into paparazzi. Where was the professionalism I had grown to see? I saw politicians cut and bite into each other like self absorbing bullies in grade school. I saw a gang style mentality living in the political world. I also saw a business man doing his best regardless of his addictions controlling much wasteful spending from spoiled politicians. I remember when council had to buy their own coffees and one politician knowing that the news camera was on her complained about how time was wasted because she had to get her own coffee. Really? We did get some of our taxes back and we could stop paying for grocery bags. There was a lot done in the four years that Rob was Mayor. What I found most touching was when we had our electricity go out, it was the dethroned Rob Ford out there for the people of Toronto, not the stand-in. And, when Rob Ford became sick with cancer, I continued to see the ugly side of people with a constant attack. I have been following this election very closely and I watch as candidates attack each other relentlessly. Though my major was psychology, in my first year I had to study general courses. We were informed that it would broaden our perspectives and they were right. I studied analytical thinking and another course was analytical writing. That is exactly what some high school teens were doing when they were watching some bantering between the politicians in the debate. They had to eliminate what is fallacious to determine what each candidate was promising. I was quite entertained and inspired by these young people who are our future. There is promise for more possibilities. However for now, if we can focus on what we think is important in alignment with the candidates than that is what can be a factor in how we vote. What is important for me regarding how I vision my city? I have lived here for most of my life. I have watched my city grow in population. However, our infrastructure is outdated and with global warming, I know that we will get a wake up call. We have too many cars and I have to admit I detest taking the city transportation system and avoid it. I know we need subways. We need it bad. We need business women and men politicians who know what budget means. We need someone with vision to move our city into the 21st century. We need politicians who do not make whimsical promises because there are no repercussions. We need to be able to make our own decisions and vote and not be afraid of what our peers think. Today I made up my mind. My priority is subways and continuation of curbing wasteful spending. I have seen that happen and so today I contacted my choice to erect a sign on my lawn (the sign was never placed on my lawn). Take that! I love living in a democratic society. Let’s keep it that way and respect the choices we each make. That is what makes our country great.

Terror attack failed to stop us from moving on. Thank you Prime Minister for your leadership and thanks to the allied support.

We have had two days within three where homegrown terrorists killed two of our soldiers. Both were put down. The acts were those of cowards. But unfortuntely they are just unhappy pawns from a bigger picture of those those full of hatred who prey on the discontent. Running people down with a car is probably as low as it can get and shooting a man unarmed standing over the tomb of the unknown soldier is quite sad. But the missions failed. There is no terror, only sadness for two soldiers and their families. I was moved hearing our Prime Minister speak as well as the NDP Opposition Leader last night. Even our Premier who I did not vote for impressed me. I saw politicians come together as the Canadians that we are in support for our country. I thank the USA for standing by us and perhaps others should learn how to get along with their neighbours. Of course England and others supporting us is very warming. This is a funeral not only for the falmilies of the fallen soldiers but for all of us. Thank you to the world. How unfortunate that there is such driving hate and more so that they think God would ever endorse such hatred. God is not the one about hate. Evil is in the guise of hatred. My sympathies are to all the families who are suffering.

Senior Fair was successful

I attended the fair which was an education fair for seniors. I spent most of my time getting coffee from the funeral services exhibit because there was free coffee, water and hand clenser. I told them that I was their best customer which caused a good chuckle from the previous somber appearance. Since I am still alive and relatively healthy, I am not a real customer, am I? Coffee was great! Lunch was provided and healthy with the veggie option of cheese in a bun. There was a salad, yogart and a choice of orange or apple. I had an apple the day before with my slices of veggie pizza. Holistic was the theme of the day and I must admit I was troubled about food choices suggested to promote youthful skin, avoidance of aging spots etc......As I looked around the room at all the wrinkles among the group where the medium age may be 75, I thought that promoting youth rather than embracing maturity was a tad disappointing. There was also a strong promotion for messauges. At some point it was suggested as a possible replacement of medication as was the holistic medicine. There was no mention that if you are taking medication and you take anything that is holistic you should inform your doctor. There was nothing mentioned that before stopping a prescribed medication to replace it with what is considered natural, consult with your doctor. None of that was mentioned because there was a negativity associated with medicine. No one even mentioned their qualifications and that spoke volumes. So yes, the fair was successful because it brought a community together and treats were provided. It was successful because the importance of nutrition was explained. However, if you believe that natural products are better than scientifically tested medicine, ensure that anything you digest as an effect. Check with your doctor!

Seminar at Sunnybrook, Dr Koenig from the University of Duke, USA. What a guy!

Yesterday was a fun day for me as I met up with some peers and listened to another speaker. Dr Harold Koenig is “the co-founder and Director of Duke University’s Center for Spirituality, Theology and Health in Durham, North Carolina. He serves on the faculty at Duke as Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences and Associate Professor of Medicine.” He has published more than 40 books and has peer reviewed approx. 400 articles. I wished more of my profs were like him. He was funny, inspiring and looking for us Canadians to go South to do research with also the promise of scholarship. And why not? We have not kept up with our own research here at home. I don’t like research myself. I think it is extremely important but I also think that my own boring experience with statistics and research methods in undergrad was a good indication of why I did not like it so much. Our courses was more of how to get rid of students and force them into social science rather than let me turn you into a great researcher, it is very easy and it is really needed in the area of religion and spirituality up here in Canada. If you like, why don’t you come down here and I will train you, but you need to show potential. Potential? Yup, I got lots more than that! I am a potential in progress. Yes, sir, I am. This was the second American speaker in a month and I loved his style. Today he is back in the States seeing his patients as a medical doctor. I am impressed. “Where does he get his energy?” I remarked to colleagues. He was talking all day and never took a break. I always leave people alone when we are given breaks because I think they need them too. But this guy was like the ever ready battery that does not stop. “He’s American. They are all like that. They have an abundance of energy that does not quit.” My colleague responded. I looked at him to see if he was joking, but he wasn’t smiling. He was serious? Do Americans have more energy than Canadians? Better rephrase that. Do Professors of Psychiatry at Duke University have more energy than Professors at ……………? Wait, how are we going to measure that? Rephrase again. Naw. I do not have enough energy and I need to get ready for another event. Plus I have an enduring cold that will not go away. I don’t normally impress easily but Dr Koenig impressed me with his kindness, passion and humour. He has lots of it. He also suffers from chronic pain. He is the second physician that I know of who suffers and is such an amazing healer. The morning was spent with the results of his research. In a nut shell people who are depressed and are religious fare better, live longer and are heavier than people who are not religious. These are people who are seriously ill. This did not apply to people who identify themselves as spiritual. I am not doing the research justice and I have to admit I was surprised by the findings. I remember from undergrad and other seminars that controlled studies where people in hospital were prayed for by a group without their awareness became better more than the control group who were not prayed for. This has been repeated with the same results. I had to wonder why we in Canada are not doing more of this kind of research especially since there is always money in research. The closest I came to research was my grad research proposal. I required a research course for my Masters. I did that at the University of Guelph which was not accepted on my list of courses at U of T. That is annoying because sometimes I forget to submit it as part of my Masters qualification. However, I had more courses than I required. I remember that all my text books in psychology were American and I inquired about this. We just didn’t have enough of us wanting to write the books. That has changed as I see the authors of some psych books who I recognized as profs. We have a lot of talent in Canada so do research and write books. Hey, you can go South. They have lots of scholarships. I am still paying for my years after undergrad. But, I am not complaining. We do have a good education here and that is why people, down under like us. We need to maintain that quality and not think quantity. So for more information about Dr Koenig check out http://www.spiritualityandhealth.duke.edu/. The afternoon was mostly about research and that I had already studied to death but I stayed because of the company. Refresher never hurts. I also felt I was rather living a pampered life having a private practice. I don’t work in prisons, nor do I work with the criminally insane so I feel that I am relatively safe in my work with others. Not, that I have anything against prisoners nor the criminally insane. But, my interest is in emergency response workers. Someone needs to care for those who care for others. Someone needs to care for those who do the work that no one else can.

Sex Addiction seminar and FSNA meeting

It is going to be a busy week. Last night I attended and dined at a really good Italian Restaurant where I heard a speaker and author of "Ashamed No More, A Pastor's Journey Through Sex Addiction" by T.C. Ryan (2012) speak about his journey and recovery. I was impressed by the addiction counsellors in attendance who had fought their own battles and can now help others. I connected with other addiction counsellors and left satisfied with the connections I had made. I haven't had a chance to read his book but I am looking forward to it. I am still reading Divorce Busters in tiny portions. Today I went to the Federal Retirees meeting and was treated to a nice lunch. Keep this up and I will save on eating costs (but not parking). To all retired Federal employees this is a good Association to belong to. I volunteer as a Health Benefits Assistant. There is only so long you can belong to an association before they grab you, but it helps me keep in touch with what our benefits are. This week is a learning experience and I am only seeing clients one day due to all the fairs, seminars, lectures etc....I will have one day of rest and another of more rest. I shall keep you briefed of anything new. For those of you who suffer from Sex addiction, if what he talked about is anything close to his book, I suggest you pick up a copy. Maybe it is time for you to move on from shame and get the help you need. You are not alone. One book he said made him aware that he was not alone was "Out of the Shadows" by Patrick............He identified with what Patrick wrote. Though my interest is not addictions, it has become more of a concern in conjunction with other conditions. It is never too late or too early to talk to someone about addiction.

Professor Carol Yawney ( Published)

Recently I read about your death. Cancer is all it explained. It mentioned that you had lived up North. It talked about you being an expert. Did it talk about your awards? Perhaps it did not know. And then it had an opening for me to seek more information, it said. I pressed my finger on the appropriate key, your image wiped away as swift as the exclamation of your death. I typed to an unknown face that you had been my favourite professor, an anthropologist you were and though that was not my discipline, if I had been younger I would have gladly changed my major to study and work under your direction. I asked whom I could send a sympathy card to. Yesterday I realized I had received a reply from the unknown face who expressed appreciation at my kind words. Perhaps I could offer a small contribution to a scholarship in her name once it was set up. There was no one…..to send a sympathy card to it said. Of course I replied. I would contribute in her memory. Please notify me when it is completed. I continued with my work. There is no one. When I drove home last night, your smiling happy face lit up the road before me. There is no one….. This morning I awoke to study for an exam for my own major… It is the statistics part of my major, which I left for last. I have no interest in raw data and numerous numbers. But it is a must. I went into my small kitchen that I have decorated so elegantly and looked out at my back yard. I inhaled the beauty of nature as I appreciated the trees I have planted and nurtured. I wanted a little park in my back yard and perhaps in my front yard. A place in the city to call home, a place to prepare for my old age when perhaps I can not go too far; a place to feel beauty. And then it happened, tears……"There is no one", no one… How can there be no one? There is everyone…for you have touch so many. You were my favourite professor. Why? You loved us. Love is felt. You taught us about medicine, young and ancient, but you also taught us about ourselves. Remember when I emailed you about going downtown to interview some people about a paper I was compiling? "You did what?" your words shouted. "What is your phone number?" you continued. You will never call me, I hoped. You lived so far up North. You did call and you went on and on about how I represented the university and the repercussions of interviewing without the proper protocol etc….but I got my A anyway, didn't I? Oh, yes you did work us, but why did it not seem like work? There is no one…. You know, we used to talk about you. We knew you lived and studied in Jamaica for many years and we talked about how you must have fallen in love and never married because you still yearned for him. How silly we were, were we not? We did marvel when you spoke of your home up North in the middle of no where, making sure your garbage was sealed so the bears would not get in. You spoke fondly of the people up there and the children. I am sure you mentioned children. There is no one… Remember when I asked you about the books you have written. You shrugged it off and said we would find it boring. And remember when we didn't have you for one class because you had to go to the States to receive an award? You again shrugged it off. The only thing you did not shrug off was us. There is no one…. Remember when you saw me speaking to a staff member one day and you looked at him and said, "She is not what she appears. She is a student." You continued on your way with that flair of yours. There is no one…. Remember when there was that strike with the TA's and we came to class? There were six of us. You asked why we were there? You informed us that we were the university, you as faculty and we as students and then there was them, the administration. There is no one… Oh, Professor Yawney I am so sorry that you died. You gave so much of your self. As I shed my tears, I shed too for the students you will no longer be able to touch. But I know that if there is another place, you will be there smiling and laughing with the joy of another life, for you to grow and touch again. You were so special and humble. And yes we know that you had many friends and people close to you because you told us. There is no one? Of course there is. There is everyone. Silva Redigonda Your student

This is to all veterans and emergency response personnel. If you are feeling suicidal, please remember that if you can get over this hump, you will look back and know that would not have been the right decision. You can overcome this overwhelming emotional turmoil.

Yesterday was a day off and I went to watch a movie after doing what I call domestic duties, such as banking, mail, etc.... It was my brain rest. When I returned I received a phone call which had me reflecting this morning. It has nothing to do with what I am going to talk about here, but it is an analogy of sorts. Too many police, military, etc..... have no one to talk to. Things happen and slowly it builds up. With some of you family is enough of support and family is at times not enough. With others, you do not want your name affiliated with any insurance company as going for help. So where do you go? Where do you go where your identity and not only your information is kept Confidential. You do not want your peers to know, because you do not want to be rediculed or considered weak. You do not want your work to know because you do not want to be considered a risk. So where do you go? You let this build up and fester and no one understands. You open your mouth and it is used against you. I know there are many loops for you to get around to get the help you need. I do have to report by law if you are going to kill yourself. But I have to believe that you will really kill yourself. If you are going for help, and writing up a contract that you will promise not to kill yourself, then I will believe you and will work with you. If you are going to tell me that you are going to hurt someone, then I have a duty to report. However, I also know that at times people say things they don't really mean, because they are hurting. If you are hurting children, I will report that. I have an obligation to protect them. However, perhaps it is time to report that and get some help in that area as well. So, before you look for a final exit. Stop! Give yourself a break. Your identity will be protected. Give me a chance to work with you so you can get back on your feet and look at other choices. Why not choose to live? What do you think?

Conference etc................

It has been a busy week. The conference was very interesting. I spent a lot of time with Revenue Canada HST, first at the booth asking a hundred questions and then I attended the poor man’s seminar. He was so sweet and patient. Not everyone shared my enthusiasm and I noticed that the seminar room was the smallest room. Am I the only one paying my taxes? My day was learning the business side of the house for both my books and psychotherapy. I had lunch at the hotel next door (since there was no more food, by the time I got out of the seminar), looking upwards at a hawk, searching for prey. At one point I thought she got lucky as she hovered suspended in the sky, her bold neck strong as her head surveyed the grassland below. This was my time out during the day, as people nodded coming in and out of the hotel outside patio, where I was the sole patron. I did miss the last two sessions after determining that beating the rush hour back to Toronto was more beneficial than attending something that was not really of use to me. Do I really want to start another business? No! But………no! I have only so much energy. I also consulted for a student during the week, who wanted to proceed to the Advance step of her studies. It was nice seeing my mentor again. After that I met a friend of mine for lunch since he lives in the East side of Toronto, where I rarely venture to. We spent a lot of time catching up, at an outside patio, me munching on a Veggie Burger with Onion rings. Awe, onion rings! My friend is legally blind. He told me about a woman trying to get him to sign something and showed me the brochure she had given him. “I have my white cane. She knows I am blind and yet she is trying to get me to sign up for whatever this is.” I read the brochure which promoted some Asian relaxation art. I don’t think the experience was too relaxing for him. I feel bad for my good old friend who I once was romantically interested in him, for about five minutes. He laughs when I share this with him. His blindness is recent. It was nice catching up, complaining, laughing and being with a trusted friend. My closest friends and more enduring relationships have always been men. They taught me how to deal with other men, since I was a child. I have been so fortunate that what I have always taken for granted as not been the experience for everyone. Yesterday, my body said no more and so I rested. I did absolutely nothing. No guilty pleasure there. I make it my priority to self care. I cannot help anyone, if I am not in tip top shape. I re-energized and today I am myself again. Tomorrow, I am having a full day of lots of fun. Yes! So how can you relate with what I wrote today? I have had one course in business in grade nine of high school. What bored me to death in that one course has served me well in how I record for taxes and business in general. What I take for granted is not that easy for everyone. So, if anyone is reading this who is a teenager, that course you take and complain about why you have to take it and you will never use it, you just may. Remember you need a balance in life. Working (and not scamming others) hard has its benefits but you need to spend time with friends and you need to have time for playing. Try not to tip the scales. Do you think you are working too hard? What is your body telling you? Are you bored to tears? Are you motivated by money alone? What have you ever done for someone else? What do you do for yourself? Where do you find your peace? I find mine in nature every morning when I sit in the back deck and communicate with God, the trees, squirrels and my pets. I love nature in a city, which can be quite fast paced. If you do not have that comfort, perhaps you can find comfort and peace by looking at a tranquil picture, by closing your eyes and focusing on your breathing, by sharing a precious moment with your partner, by spending time in a park, by laying on the grass and looking up at the sky. If you believe in a God, or higher power, why not have a conversation? What do you see, when you look up? What do you think?